What it means to be human
Basically the same sort of format as Electricity only this time it's on Jack's feelings about humanity and how he can save Gwen's. It was inspired by what Gwen said to Beth when Jack was telling her she was an alien and also the last scene! Yes, just more sort of drabble that I wrote because I wanted to explore some of the sub textual relationships and themes within the new series! So tell me what you think! Oh and I forgot the declaimer last time, so here it is:
I do not own Doctor Who, Torchwood etc. If I did, it would probably be the Jack and Ianto show so just as well!
.X.
'What makes us human? Is it our minds or our bodies?'
It was the evening after the Sleeper Agents crisis when that certain conversation came back to Captain Jack Harkness as he reclined in his office. It was late. So late that even Ianto had left for the night and the rest of the team where probably tucked up safe and sound in bed, having forgotten all thoughts of aliens and world crisis's as sleep claimed them. Or maybe they were dreaming of aliens and the end of the world. Who knew? Jack hoped not though. It wouldn't do to have Ianto chasing Weevils in his sleep, that could get violent…
But humanity. Had Beth been human? At all. Jack wasn't sure. But then he wasn't sure of his own humanity anymore. Defiantly, at one time he would have laughed if someone had questioned that. But now? Well his body certainly wasn't. Immortality and humanity don't mix, Jack knew that. But his mind? Jack didn't know anymore. When Mary had remarked he should be the one locked up, it hadn't been the first time he had entertained that thought himself. Humanity, so completely underrated until it was taken from you. Could Jack really still be human? After all he'd been through and all he'd done. And then there was the Doctor. Did the Doctor make you less human? Or did the Doctor thrive on humanity, sucking it up from his assistants and companions until they were a shadows of their former selves? Had Jack become too cold, too cold to life for humanity to take him back? If Gwen was right and it was our minds that made us human, Jack wasn't at all sure he was anymore. Well, not completely.
And that was why he wanted to protect her. He wanted to stop Gwen becoming numb to all that you could become when you allow Torchwood to swallow you up. It would be so easy to keep her with him in what he toyed with calling a romantic friendship but generally settled for sibling companionship. She was like him, he knew it. They fitted well together. But he had to keep her human. He couldn't let her lose the one quality that drew him to her. The logic behind it all may have been slightly confusing but Jack knew it was the right thing to do. Keep her safe; keep her sane, even if she didn't want to be kept safe.
He knew if he were to tell her too, she would call off her wedding in an instance. He knew she would dedicate her life to Torchwood for him. But even though Jack knew her wedding would change the dynamics of their relationship so much, at least he could sleep safe in the knowledge that he had saved one life, even if she didn't know it. Which was why that evening he had stopped himself. Asked her about the wedding. Told her to go home. And she had. She'd obeyed him in the way a child obeys a parent when they too know that even though they may not like it, the parent is only thinking of them in the long run.
Sometimes Jack wondered if the rest of the team where still human. But it was harder to tell. Had Ianto always been like that? Had Tosh never questioned her job when she covered up another death? Did Owen feel anything when he'd completed an autopsy? Jack liked to think he did. They were still human. They had been drawn in and survived to tell the tale. True there wasn't many they could tell it too, but that was irrelevant.
And, Jack reasoned with himself, at least he knew Ianto was still very much human. And maybe it was he who could help Jack to regain a little bit of his humanity as well…
Hope that was ok!
Love you all
Jyra
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