A/N:
Justin: WHOO!!! GO GIANTS! YEAH!!!!!
Tequila: YEY!!! SCREAMING!!!!! Wait… why are we screaming again?
Justin: THE GIANTS WON!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!
Tequila: Ugh. Football…
Justin: …WHAT DID YOU SAY!? –glares-
Tequila: Um… Go Giants?
Justin: I thought so :D
Disclaimer:
Tequila: Okay Ms. Meyer, you'll give us Edward, or… WE'LL SAY THE STORY IS OURS!!!!
Stephenie Meyer: … but it's not.
Justin: -sighs- She's right you know… :(
Tequila: darn :(
Chapter 3: Perspective
Light. Glorious, healing light. It shined above me, blinding my vision. I couldn't see, but I hardly cared. The darkness had ended, the pain was gone. I had escaped hell. I had paid for my sins. The pain was gone. I couldn't remember anything that happened. I couldn't remember my name. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that the pain had ended. I had reached paradise.
Voices. Strangely familiar voices. My head struggled to figure out what they were saying. At first it all sounded like meaningless jumble, but slowly pieces of words fit together.
"Do you think…?"
"… don't know, seems that…."
"She's stopped…."
"She stopped screaming days ago, dim wit." That voice was clear, harsh, and scathing. Ages of guilt, pain, and anger lay within that voice.
I frowned. Days? That couldn't be right. It had to have been at least forever. 'Days' was meaningless to me. The fire had burned on for me than just 'days'.
"Look! She moved!"
"Kataya! Kataya can you hear me?!?!"
Josh! The name sprung into my mind, the image of him flashing through my brain. Kataya… that was my name. Kataya Fieldright Whorton. My frown deepened, remembering all the times I got made fun of in Kindergarten because of my name. The images were coming easier now, crashing down with torrents into my mind. I remembered everything. I remembered my friends, my family, my life. The pack… I tried to remember the battle. All I could recollect were the screams of the newborns, then… nothing. Was my family okay? Had anyone been injured? What happened? Did anyone die? Where was Quil? Embry? Paul? I couldn't hear them. I tried to think rationally, and slowly I began to push the panic away. I found the strength to answer.
"With all the noise you're making, who wouldn't be able to hear you?" I tried to answer back sarcastically. It came out as a groan.
Cheers filled the room.
"SHE'S ALIVE!!!" Dave.
"She's back! Kataya's back!" Eric.
"Of course she's back! No newborn could take down our Kat!" Ace. I grinned. I had heard him drumming his fingers on the tabletops with worry.
"Are you really back?" Josh.
"Water." I whispered. There was a burning in the back of my throat, it felt dry, burning, and… vicious. I guessed that was only to be excepted after days of screaming. I opened my eyes.
Faces crowded in front of me, filling up the tiny space around my bed. I blinked with shock, wondering how this many people had managed to fit. Josh was to my right, looking down at the floor. Next to him were Eric, Ace, and Dave. They were cramped up against the wall, each looking like they were having serious respiratory problems. A range of expressions crossed their faces, depending on their natures. I saw relief, happiness, and bravado. To my left was Sam, Jacob, and… I blinked again. There was no way.
Leah Clearwater.
There was a slight smirk of arrogance on her face, but her body language betrayed her. She was stiff and in an awkward position. She had been worried. Sam looked completely relieved, and Jacob wouldn't stop looking at my shoulder, guilt piercing his eyes. I frowned. Why was he staring at my shoulder?
"Here." Josh said, thrusting a bottle of water right in my face. I downed it in three mouthfuls, and he instantly thrust another one in front of me. It didn't help the burning in my throat, and it tasted like shit. Would the fire ever let go of me? I pushed past the taste, and tried it a couple more times, but still no success. Five nasty bottles later, I managed to look up at him and smile; I could forget about the burning for now.
"Hey." I said gently.
As I looked at him, something changed. His posture shifted, all the anguish in the world filled his eyes. There was a slight gasp from Eric. The pack looked upon me as if they had never seen me before. Something was wrong. I finally realized what had happened. Someone had been injured. Something serious had happened. But it wasn't any of them that had been hurt. It had been me.
"Shit." Jacob's soft curse reached my ears as he finally moved his gaze from my shoulder, to my face.
I flinched at the expression on his face, and the pain that mirrored Josh's. This was bad.
"What?" My voice was barely a whisper. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
Instead of answering, Jacob did the cruelest thing in the world.He grabbed a hand-held mirror from the desk across my bed, and held it up to my face.
I grabbed at it in horror, denying what I saw there. No. This was wrong. The mirror was broken. It was lying. This wasn't happening. I threw the mirror, sending it with such force that it slammed through the wall and went sailing out of the house. I leaped out of bed, pushing past everyone to get to my bathroom. Skidding to the sink, my once-more shaking hands grasped the side, and once again I looked up to the girl who faced me.
She had changed. Her face was different, her bones were more angular. Her black hair fell down softly, framing her face as if in a magazine. Her skin was paler than before, even though she spent most of the summer in the sun. Any movement she did was lithe and graceful, and heartbreaking. There was a crescent shaped scar on her shoulder. Her smile was dead. Her denial crumbled away as she was forced to meet the truth right in front of her eyes.
Her very red eyes. Her bloody, crimson, killer's eyes. The murdering eyes she detested, they were now hers. They were filled with the suffering and pain she had encountered in hell. The girl began to tremble. This wasn't her. She looked upon a monster, a beautiful creature with killing eyes. Soon the eyes would be filled with the lives she had destroyed, the families she had torn apart. No. She would have to run. She would tear herself away from all civilization. She couldn't harm anyone. She would not harm her family.
There was a sharp snap. I looked down to see what had happened. In my hands were pieces of the sink, which I had squeezed completely off. Even my hands had changed. They were flexible and strong. Even they could be used for killing. I turned to the door, where the pack was waiting. No. I couldn't bear to see them. I couldn't look upon the faces of those whom I would never see again. I would have to leave them all behind.
Desperation coursed through me. This couldn't be happening. Why me? Just why me? What had I done? I…hissed… and began to change. I couldn't control it. I had to go, now. I had to leave. I couldn't even say goodbye.
I ran out of the house and too the forest. I just kept running. I didn't get too far when thoughts barraged my head. The pack was running with me.
"Kataya. Wait." The order was from Sam, strong and clear. I growled. I couldn't disobey him, but I wanted to run, run as far away as possible. I needed to go.
Then the memories came.
You had lost you're love, you had lost you're life. The manwhom you were going to marry had left you for your cousin. You had truly loved him, and you still did. Every day you had to listen to his thoughts, every day you could see what you did to him. He knew how you still thought of him, and it killed him inside. You knew he still thought of you the same way, but he just loved her more. Even the guilt he had for you was a ridiculously small amount compared to the guilt he had for scarring her beautiful face. Thoughts of suicide danced in your head. You're brother tried to help you, but he didn't know the half of it. He wouldn't understand. But you weren't going anywhere. You were Leah Clearwater, and you were here to stay. Even if that meant riding out eternity with a heart full of pain and old memories, people were going to remember you. You would make sure of it. You would leave your mark, just as he left his. Just as she left hers. You were not going to be forgotten.
The doorbell ring. It was another cousin. Great. What would this one do? You pushed the thoughts aside as you went to answer. She was only staying for a day, then she would be with Emily and… him for the rest of the week. You were relieved to see that she was pretty shy, and didn't make a nuisance of herself. She and Seth got along well enough, and soon she didn't bother you at all. Of course you knew it couldn't last. Seth had gone for a bit, and it was just you and her. You saw her the moment she began to change, she turned her pleading grey eyes to you, asking for help. You sighed and opened the door. The girl ran.
Now you finally arrived. The girl lay on the bed, one of her hands clenched into a fist on the bedspread. The other was crushing a pack-mates hand, but he looked like he hardly cared. The girl was white as a sheet, taunt lines running along her arms. Her lips were clamped together so tightly, there was a white rim around the edges. On her shoulder was a scar. You sighed to yourself. The dumb thing had gotten herself bitten. But you were still sad, you were still regretful. No matter what, you guys were family, and once again you weren't good enough. You hadn't been there for her. You pulled up a seat to the foot of the bed, and waited. Cousins were nothing but trouble.
The pack surrounded me, comforting me with their warm scents and pelts. I let the sense of family wash over me, calming me down. Although I would have to leave I would remain in their thoughts, and we would always be together. I would never leave them behind.
"I am so sorry." The amount of grief, anguish, torture, and guilt in this voice almost killed me. The strength of his memories was even worse.
You were in the middle of the fight, watching out for yourself and your partner. You worked as a team, aided by the thoughts you shared. But when one particular thought came your way you stopped. She was in trouble. Your best friend…
You remembered the first day you had seen her.You both were only fifteen, but you had changed a year earlier. She was confused, and in pain. She asked for your help, since your friends had turned away. Instead of joining them, you went to her. You were the first one to welcome her in. She became your little sister, your comrade, your friend. She was family. She knew everything that went on with you, even without phase-changing. Likewise, you knew her like the back of your hand. You two stuck together, becoming fast friends. At first you were shunned, since you were with The Girl, but you didn't care. You knew she wasn't bad. You knew she could handle herself. All she needed was time.
You were right. Soon people warmed up to the both of you. You both made more friends, but never forgot the bond you shared. You were still family, you still looked out for each other. You always were there for each other. Always. There was no exception.
Except for that day. She was surrounded, she was alone, and you weren't there. You shouted her name in warning, ramming one of the newborns surrounding her in the back. Both you and it went flying. You tore up its body, ripping it to shreds. Nothing was going to come to her. You knew your pack-mates had taken out the other newborns, so you knew she'd be okay. The trouble was over.
That's when you heard the screaming. You stared at the girl in front of you with shock. Her midnight black pelt was shrinking, her bones were realigning. The girl kept yelling and yelling; she clutched at her head and writhed on the ground. What was wrong with her?? She was now fully human, driving the newborns mad. Their added noise caused her to shout louder. She was in pain, in anguish. She was being tortured. You went to move closer to her, removing the discarded head that blocked your path. That was when you saw everything.
In meaning to protect her, you had destroyed her. The venom had already left its mark, and was now coursing through your best friend's- your sister's- veins, poisoning her. The battle was over, but you didn't feel like you won. You had just crushed the very thing you sought out to protect. You howled to the sky with despair. How could you have caused this?
"SHUT UP!! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" she yelled at you, her eyes pleading like they had those years before. They begged for help, for reassurance. "STOP YELLING! MAKE THEM STOP!"
But you couldn't make them stop: no one was yelling. The pack crowded around her as her eyes shut. But she was far from unconscious. Her screams continued. Even after you brought her to her room they continued. They only stopped when she lost the voice to scream, and even then her body convulsed with the effort. You were hardly aware of what was happening around you. People kept flitting in and out, but you stayed there. You were slightly aware of others that kept vigil with you, and voices in the background, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. You had caused this. This pain your best friend was going through, was all your fault. And you couldn't take it away. Even after the pain was gone, the mark would stay. You had ruined her life permanently, if she even survived. You even had your doubts about that. You killed her. You knew you had.
"How long?" Your voice sounded strange even to you. It was listless, there was no emotion.
The leader cleared his throat. "Three days."
But that was a lie. The three days came and went, and still she wouldn't wake up. You knew she was alive though, her hands were tightly clenched and she would thrash around at points. You still hadn't moved. You even had to be force-fed. At one point she managed to yell. You grabbed her hand, and she crushed your fingers with an audible snap. You didn't care. You hardly even noticed. You ignored everyone and everything around you. Words, images, sounds- they went right on through you. You were with her, wherever she was. You would not leave. You stayed. You forgot about your broken fingers. All you did was wait.
Four more days. Her breaths were coming in light and shallow gasps. Towards the end she began to regain herself. During the last hour, it simply looked as if she were sleeping. You were petrified. You didn't even dare to be hopeful. But then she frowned. The smallest of smiles crossed your lips. It looked as if she were trying hard to remember something she left at home.
"Kataya! Kataya can you hear me?!?!"
You waited for the witty remark that was sure to follow, but all that came out was a moan. You didn't mind, and under the circumstances it was just as good. Cheers from your pack-mates resonated around the room. You winced. Didn't the noise hurt her? You still weren't sure if she was okay. You had to ask.
"Are you really back?"
She whispered in reply "Water."
You grabbed one of the many bottles that lay beside you. They had been meant for you, but you weren't thirsty. Or hungry. Or alive. You had just been waiting. Your sister downed it all, making a face, and asked again. You grinned. She was definitely back. She was okay. Only after four more bottles did she stop.
"Hey" she said softly, looking up at you and smiling.
You froze. Your smile slipped off your face. What you had done stared back at you, clear as day. She looked a bit different, but that wasn't what troubled you. The guilt flooded you, crashing down in waves. What had you done?
Her eyes were red. Red as blood. The friendly light of grey had gone. Now those eyes were like all your enemies' blood, the people you were sworn to fight. But she didn't smell bad, you didn't want to fight her. She was still your best friend, she was still your sister. And look what you did. You had changed her. You had ruined her. You had destroyed her.
She ran. It only took a split second for you to follow. Behind you your brothers followed. They too had a bond to the girl trying to escape her fate. Together you would keep her here, you would still protect her. There had to be away around this, you were sure. You would never repay your debt, but you didn't care. You remembered the promise you made, two years ago. You would always be there. No exceptions.
No exceptions.
I stared at Josh in shock. Sometimes it was still hard to believe how much people valued me. I didn't understand why. I extended a paw to him, and butted his shoulder with my head. I did the only thing I could do.
"You're forgiven" I said.
He shook his head with a lopsided smile and a taunting look to his eyes. "If you say so."
It was then that Jacob Black's mind, which had been tightly closed off, opened up like a black hole.
The wolf was back at the battle. He had been missing for a long time, but now he was back to defend his pack-mates, his family. He had been assigned a partner, a girl. This one didn't seem to be like Leah. She had convinced Sam to let her fight, she could cope. But still, the wolf had to stay with the girl throughout the fight.
She seemed to be doing fine, and the wolf accidentally let his mind slip. Back to the old days, where he fought beside his leader. Unconsciously he moved towards him, leaving the girl behind. Soon he was fighting side-by-side with his Chief, like he did before. That was where he was meant to be.
But not that day.
"Jacob! Why the hell are you all the way here! Where's Kataya?"
The girl! "SHIT!" you yelled, turning around to make your way back to her, but the way was blocked by the remainder of the newborns. By the time you reached her, the damage had been done. Her human body lay on the ground, screaming and yelling. The wolf felt sick. He had failed. He hadn't protected her. Just like he had failed her… Bella. She would be going through this. She already had. And he couldn't stop her. She had changed.
The wolf changed back into a human. Grabbing the writhing girl in his arms he ran back home. The pack was around him, and together they brought her to her room. She wouldn't stop yelling. It was starting to give him a headache; he found it hard to think. His thoughts kept flicking between his guilt, her pain, and the girl he had loved- who he still loved. He hated himself; he couldn't get her out of his mind. She wasn't the one being hurt, not anymore, and yet the boy couldn't let her go. He was paralyzed. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even think there was something to do. He couldn't see past what was happening. He didn't even know if the girl would live.
But she did survive. She survived as an abomination. A mixed-breed. She wasn't human, but she wasn't evil. He hated himself for thinking like that. He had caused this, his idiocy had changed her. He knew she could not fight off who she now was; her thirst would call for human blood. She would want to feed on the very people she longed to protect. There was an alternative, he knew. It was almost too painful to remember…
Vampires. In a line. Five of them, with…Bella beside them. It hurt the wolf's heart to see her there, on the wrong side of the line. The wolf knew that she belonged with you, with the pack, with humans. He turned his mind forcibly away from…Bella… and focused on the bloodsuckers next to her. These weren't like the others. Although these vampires were just as vile and disgusting as the rest of them, they weren't… evil. Their eyes were a golden-topaz color, not the murderous red. The wolf had heard about their strange diet from...Bella, and he knew they only ate animals. No humans. 'Vegetarians' they called themselves. The wolf snorted. Sure, sure. He knew there had been some slip-ups. But they still stuck to their diet with a will power that surprised even him. They would not harm humans. They even went to school with them, and the Lead Bloodsucker worked as a surgeon in the hospital. He even saved lives. He was actually…good.
"You can still live here."
I processed this information. I could still… be here? With my family? I could stay where I belonged?
Sam came forward and nodded. "We will work around this."
You watched the girl on the bed. The responsibility of what had happened to her gnawed at you, making it hard to concentrate. You placed a drenched wash-cloth on her head, but it didn't improve things much. You didn't blame Jacob, you didn't blame Josh. You blamed yourself. She had been your responsibility and you let her fight. You should have protected her yourself, at the very least. Now you were taking care of her, the best you could, but it wasn't enough. Josh was practically catatonic, and the Awkward Squad sat with him, solemn and staring. You wouldn't let Emily come anywhere close. You didn't know what would happen when the girl woke up. Counting the seconds, you simply watched, and waited.
Now she was awake, and you had to deal with a new problem. None of your legends gave you any advice, and you were already confused. You tried to take on one thing at a time. Her diet would be taken care of, that was the most important thing. The other things would come later. When they came, you could work them out. But right now the only thing you could do was sit, and wait.
"You can come home."
A/N I know you guys probably have a lot of questions (like why isn't she raving after the werewolves, why she can still change, why she doesn't smell bad, etc.) but I promise, they will be answered in the future chapters!!! R&R please! Oh, and if you have a problem with Justin being a Giants fan, don't take it out on him. It really isn't his fault.