Chapter 12

I was fighting for my life. I couldn't breathe. I was in the dark. There was no sound. I tried to scream, but nothing happened. I knew this was the end but tried not to totally give up hope. I swallowed my panic and tried to calm my breathing. It wasn't working. I felt myself try to whisper, try to speak again... Ranger.

Ranger was the light in the darkness. He was standing there looking at me with an expression I couldn't read. He looked defeated somehow. I wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but I couldn't lift my arms. He started to turn, to walk away. I tried to yell for him to return, but it was no use. Ranger was gone and Joe had taken his place. He was shaking his head at me. I thought he was trying to talk to me, but there was no sound. When Joe turned to walk away, I was devastated. Both of the men in my life had left me in the dark.

Strong arms pulled me close. I felt their warmth spread through me. I was crying, not the sobbing sort of crying, but the kind that leaked out when you weren't expecting it.

"Babe, it's okay. You're safe," Ranger whispered against the top of my head.

I was awake now. The room wasn't nearly as dark as my dream.

"You want to talk about it?" he offered.

I moved closer, if that were possible, to him. Maybe talking would clear up some things. "I guess... it was a dream."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that. You called out for Joe," the hurt was evident in his voice.

I put my head on his chest. "In my dream there was no sound. It was dark. You showed up and you looked so sad, so defeated. I wanted to hold you, but you turned away. Joe was standing there and it was like he was trying to say something, but without sound I couldn't hear. I tried to yell at him to come back and explain, but nothing worked."

Ranger's grip tightened. "Babe, you know I would never walk away from you."

I didn't know that. He had turned away a couple of times. Maybe subconsciously I had never gotten over that.

"I'm never sending you back to Joe, Stephanie. He has his life and we have ours. I did what I did back then because I wanted the best for you. I didn't do it to hurt you."

I knew he believed that and would do whatever was necessary to ensure my happiness, but a part of me... okay the bitchy part of me... wouldn't let it go.

"You didn't call my name," he whispered. "You called out for Joe." He grew tense, silent.

I pushed up against the headboard. "Ric, exactly what are you saying." I knew what he was implying, but wanted to hear it from him.

"Simply that you called out for Joe," he responded, pushing himself up now as well, but leaning on his elbow to face me. "Do I need to be concerned about him?"

I reminded myself that I had promised Ric to always be honest with him regarding our relationship. There were a lot of things that he couldn't share with me, but when it was about us, we both agreed to be more open.

"It's not Joe, Ric. I'm not sure what it is, and I did try to call you to come back. There was no sound in my dream. I don't know why. Maybe me calling you in my dream was what woke you up."

I still felt shaky. Dreams usually come from some part of your reality, but I didn't know what I had experienced lately that could have resulted in this one.

"Babe, you've been through a lot lately. Maybe it is taking a toll. Be honest, are you happy here with me, in this house, at this time?"

I looked over at that incredibly attractive face, those eyes that could be cold and flat when dealing with the bad guys yet so hot and sexy when holding me. He was physically perfect. I had grown to know that he was protective, loving and exceedingly generous.

"If you have to ask that, I obviously haven't been a very good girlfriend," I quipped, but it was the truth.

"This isn't about me, Steph. It's about what you want. Maybe this dream of yours is something subconscious about us getting married?"

Shit, I thought, I didn't want him to go there. Here I was engaged to the most wonderful guy and I was screwing it up.

"Ric, I love you and want to marry you. That's not the problem. I know that you accept me for what and who I am, for which I am grateful, but there's a part of me that wonders if marriage is going to change either of us."

Ranger looked thoughtful for a moment. "No more than living together. We've made it though that transition all right."

He had a point. We had done the meet the family thing. We share a bathroom. We've seen each other at our worst, yet here we were. I moved closer to him, pulling his arms back around me.

"Yeah, we've done all that and more. It was a stupid dream, Ric. Let's let it go and find a better way to spend our morning," I offered.

The interesting thing about the way we spent our morning was how energetic I felt afterward. I have been known to fall asleep afterward, but I was in the mood to get up, shower and start my day. Ranger had taken off for parts unknown, probably his office downstairs. I did the shower and shave bit and fluffed my hair into the soft curls he loved so much. Since today was a work day, and I had planned to spend it with Lula, I made sure that my attire fit the day's events. With a growling stomach, I wondered down to the library.

Outside the door, I overhead Ranger talking to someone.

"She just had a bad dream. I'm willing to beat it has something to do with Martinez's little surprise. Find that bastard, Tank. I'm through playing games with him. We have this out once and for all. Later."

Somehow, Martinez didn't sound like the usual skip Rangeman dealt with. This guy sounded more personal to Ranger. What were they going to have "out"?

I strolled into the room.

"Hi," I offered when he looked up in my direction.

"Hey, Babe. Ready for breakfast?"

I smiled. If he knew I overheard his conversation, he didn't let on.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Going to join me?"

We had different concepts of what breakfast should be, but as part of the living together thing, I had agreed to try to eat healthier. Shoot, I even worked out in the basement gym when Ranger wasn't looking.

"Babe, I have to spend most of the day out of the office, so if you need anything, call Tank.

"Okay, but where are you going to be?"

"I have to do some field work on a case recently assigned to Rangeman. No big deal really, but it requires my personal attention and it will take me out of range for a while.

I knew when Ranger was deliberating trying to be vague to protect me and when he was being vague just because that's the way he is anyway. This time, it was one of the protecing me vague moments.

"Ric, what's going on? You're acting funny." Okay, so I couldn't put my finger on the actual problem, but he would know what I meant.

"Nothing's going on. I just have a job to do, the details of which I would rather not go into right now. I need you to trust me, Babe."

I bit my bottom lip and thought about all the times he asked me to trust him. He really didn't need to ask, because trusting Ranger was ingrained into my being.

I smiled and went to stand my his chair. "Have a good day," I said as I kissed the top of his head. I didn't wait for a response, but headed out to the garage. I never made it.

Strong, dark arms encircled my waist. "Afraid I can't let you just leave like that, Babe," that warm, sensuous voice spoke as the words washed over me. "I haven't had a proper kiss."