AN: Sorry it has been so long. I actually had to reread a few chapters to figure out where I was going with this. If I have repeated myself, I am sorry. Now, let's see where the Plum world is leading the faithful readers...
Chapter 15
It's kind of funny how relationships can change your whole outlook on things. Before Ranger, I was probably more carefree than I am now. I sat in the car thinking about that as I looked behind me and saw the black SUV parked nearby and the girls standing at the storefront window of Vinnie's Bail Bonds, probably wondering what I was up to now. I felt like I was at a crossroads, but I had no idea why. Finally resigned, I just went inside.
"Girl, what in the world are you doing sitting there?" Lula questioned. She was dressed today in shades of blue, actually subdued for her.
"I was just thinking," I began. "I've had a lot on my mind lately."
Lula actually laughed. "You've had a lot all right, but ain't got nothing to do with your mind."
Okay, so I blushed. How is it that everyone knows about my sex life. Even with Batman, Lula and Connie can tell when I've had sex. "Very funny," I sneered at her.
"Yeah, well, I hear that Batman is sunning himself down in Miami, leaving the Merry Men to watch your ass. Bet you could use some company right about now," Lula stated.
"Actually, that's kind of why I'm here. I wondered if you could hang out with me today. I don't have to be at work today, so I kind of have nothing to do."
"You finish decorating the new Bat Cave?" Lula was dying to see the finished product.
"Yeah, but that's off limits until Ranger returns, then we have a party."
Lula seemed satisfied with the answer. "Word is that the Batman himself officially announced your engagement to your parents last night. Not like the Burg didn't already have the news plastered across the state."
I smiled at the memory. "Yeah, that's true. We haven't talked dates or anything, but now that my mother's in on it, I guess I should get used to the idea."
"Damn straight. You get the fine man anytime you want him. He want to make a commitment to you, you better take it.I figured that he wasn't just blowing smoke for that little Miss Barker, Barnhart. What with Officer Hottie out of the picture, Ranger's got to be the one. You know what I mean?"
I could have gone all day without someone bringing up Joe. Seeing him with Connor and Anna was still hard. I'm not one to want to analyze my feelings so I just closed them away. It's not like I'm the sort who could have given Joe what he wanted. I can't even cook, for Pete's sake.
"So what's it going to be? You gonna hang with me today? Have any files you want to work on?" Denial, change subject, rinse... repeat.
As it turned out, Lula had no files, but plans to meet Tank and another friend. I stopped off at Pino's and bought the usual to go. I had just arrived at the front door when my cell phone rang.
It was Morelli. He had the day off and asked to come over. It sounded important.
"Yeah, I can wait for you. Ranger just left for Florida," I responded.
Morelli took a deep breath. "I knew Ranger was going out-of-town. He called me and filled me in on the latest problem to land on your plate. I swear, Steph, it never stops with you."
Normally that type of comment would have earned Morelli a week of sleeping alone, but he wasn't my problem any longer and I wasn't his. "Good thing you have a more settled life now, Joe."
He remained silent. I think I just figured out what we would be talking about.
I paced the living room, waiting on Joe. I checked the security monitor just in time to see him request admittance at the gate. Lester or Hal would have seen him arrive. They were manning the controls for the house. A few minutes later, Morelli rapped on the front door.
"Hey, Joe. Good to see you," I offered as I kissed his cheek. He turned his face at the last moment and caught my lips. The kiss was awkward at best.
"Steph, you look great. How's life treating you?"
Okay, he was keeping the conversation neutral. "I'm fine. What about you, Anna and Connor? Adjusting to family life?"
Morelli walked into the living room and took a seat on one of the overstuffed chairs that guys seem to favor over the couch or sofa. "Everyone's fine. Let's just say that adjusting is a good word for what's going on right now. I love my son, don't get me wrong, but I barely know his mother. I always figured that you and I would have kids. I don't know if I can do this, Steph. I'm pretty freaked out right now." Morelli ran his hand through his thick hair. Past due for a haircut again, it looked like.
Taking a seat across from him, I took a good look at him. He looked tired. His eyes were red with the taletale dark circles under them. I had seen Morelli after ops looking better than he looked now. Despite everything that took place between us, obviously more because of those things, I wanted us to be friends. It took me forever to decide between Ranger and Joe. In the end, I realized that I am not really what either man needs, so I made the choice of who I thought I needed more in order to be the person I wanted to be. A part of me would always love Joe and Ranger understood that. He never questioned my loyalty to him, but then I never gave him a reason to do so.
"Joe, it's just going to take time. This is a huge change in your life. It's just been, what, just a few months? You're being hard on yourself if you're expecting everything to be perfect."
Joe attempted to smile. "You know, Cupcake, you're probably right. It's just that seeing you the other day, here in Manoso's house, it was pretty hard to take. I'm starting to understand how he felt all those times you came home to me."
Joe and I had had this conversation before. It made me very uncomfortable. I mean, jeez, it made me sound like I slept with a different guy every night. So I waffled between Ranger and Joe. Any woman would who had seem them. Both men were hot and both loved me in their respective ways. The fact was I couldn't figure out what I could say to Joe now that would help.
"I don't know how to help you, Joe. I admit that it's hard for me to see you and Anna together as well. I think we just all need more time to adjust."
Joe stood up and came to stand in front of me. "Cupcake, I need you. It's like you're the only one I can turn to." He pulled up up from my seat.
"What are you saying, Joe?" I felt his hands tighten on my arms. "Joe, you're holding me too tight." I tried to loosen his grip.
"Stephanie, please kiss me. Just one kiss," he whispered as he moved closer.
I was shocked. This wasn't the Morelli I was used to, at least not since I became involved with Ranger. "Jesus, Joe. I'm engaged."
He laughed. "Yeah, right. Tell me you don't think about me. I think about you," Joe brushed his lips against my cheek. "I think about you a lot."
I tried to pull away, but his grip only grew tighter. "Joe, let me go. You're starting to freak me out. Listen to what you're saying. You're with Anna now. Think of Connor. Think of how Ranger is going to kick your ass for poaching."
I realized that I probably shouldn't have said that the moment I saw the spark in his dark eyes.
"Ranger, Stephanie, would have a hell of a nerve to bring up poaching after what he did to me." Joe moved to sofa and pulled me down beside him. "I was pretty patient. I figured that you just needed to get him out of your system. That I could understand; I had the same problem with Terry, but no, that wasn't enough."
"Joe, you're tired. Would you like to take a nap in the library? It's really quiet."
Something inside him nearly snapped. His eyes flashed with emotion I couldn't really read. "What the hell do you care about what I want? I can't have what I want. I've just got to make the best of what I have."
He finally released me. I watched as he leaned back against the sofa. He looked exhausted. I had never seen this side of him before and hoped to never see it again. I rubbed my arms. There were bruises forming on my wrists. I hoped they would disappear before Ric came home.
I looked over at Joe. He was sound asleep. As gently as possible, I moved him onto the sofa so that he could sleep. I covered him with a throw that lay nearby. Gently, I kissed his forehead.
I was going to retrieve my food from the kitchen when my cell phone rang. I didn't even have to check the readout. I knew it was him.
"Yo, Ric. How was the flight?"
"Stephanie, explain what Morelli's doing at our house?"
Great, I thought, just what I needed.