TITLE: The Quality of Darkness
SPOILERS: Anything from the series is fair game.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Drake & Josh. All are owned by Dan Schneider, et al. I am not profiting in any way except creatively.

A/N: Just a little light-hearted fun (well, most of it!) to break up the angst a bit. But have no fear, the next chapter is halfway done as I type this. Enjoy!

Chapter 8: Bad Dates & Resolutions

Josh had always known his brother was vain, but this was bordering on the ridiculous. Drake had managed to decide which pair of jeans he was going to wear (although if you asked Josh, they all looked the same) and which pair of shoes was going to have the pleasure of encasing his feet, but he was still debating on what shirt was going to complete his carefully chosen ensemble. He had already tried on and carelessly discarded so many, it looked like the clothes fairy had exploded inside their room.

Standing at the far end of the couch, arms folded across his chest, he said, frustrated, "Just pick one already!" He glanced down at his watch. They were supposed to pick up their dates in twenty minutes and Drake's fashion crisis was going to make them late.

Drake cast a dark but amused look over his shoulder as he yanked yet another shirt over his head and tossed it up onto his bed, where it caught on the ladder and hung there precariously for a second before falling to the floor to join several others in an ever-growing pile. "It's New Year's Eve, Josh," he said matter-of-factly, as if that would explain everything. He dug in his dresser drawer for another shirt. Josh was amazed there were any left.

"So?" Josh asked. "I got dressed and ready in ten minutes."

"I can see that," Drake quipped as he turned to face Josh. His smirk quickly disappeared as he pulled his latest shirt choice over his head, the static electricity making his hair halo briefly around his head.

Josh was just about to protest – he thought he looked good – when Drake asked, "How 'bout this one?" He smoothed his hands down the front of a dark red long-sleeve t-shirt with a black abstract design across the chest.

"You look fine," Josh answered, then clenched his jaw when he saw Drake's face fall. "No, wait!" he added, gesturing desperately when he spied Drake's fingers curl around the bottom of the shirt and start to lift it up. "You didn't let me finish. Uh…" he said, fumbling. "What I meant to say was that this shirt only confirms what is already a well-established fact: that you are the best-looking and best-dressed boy at Belleview High. Maybe even San Diego. And you'd be a fool to wear anything else." He had to make a conscious effort not to roll his eyes when he had finished.

Drake just grinned. "I'll be the judge of that." He walked over to Josh's side of the room and stood looking at himself in the full-length mirror that hung behind the door of the armoire. "Whereas I doubt your sincerity," he said, admiring his reflection, "you're right. I do look good."

"'Whereas'?" Josh asked, his eyebrows raised.

Drake just laughed. "You like that one, huh? That's one of those words that Mr. Bradford likes to use." The mention of the teacher's name made him frown slightly; any thought of school when he was on vacation tended to do that.

Ever since Thanksgiving break, Drake had been attending his twice-weekly tutoring sessions dutifully, though under protest. His mom had been right; it hadn't been as bad as he thought it would be. But that wasn't saying much since he had thought it would be just slightly more fun than yanking his fingernails out with a pair of pliers. Thankfully, the creepiness he thought he'd heard in the teacher's voice after the meeting with his parents seemed to have just been in his imagination. Mr. Bradford had been nothing but friendly and professional in their subsequent meetings.

"Well, I'll say this about all the tutoring you're getting – your vocabulary sure has improved," Josh said, smiling.

"And that's not all," Drake responded, stepping off the platform and grabbing his jacket off the back of the desk chair. "I can name all the U.S. presidents. In order."

Josh chuckled as he headed towards the door. "Wow, I'm impressed. Especially considering you used to think that George Washington discovered America."

Drake was on Josh's heels as they headed towards the stairs. "Ha ha," he said sarcastically. "Hold on a sec," he added, side-stepping into the bathroom.

"Come on," Josh wheedled, standing outside the partially closed door. "You can pee later. We're late."

"Don't get your boxers in a twist," Drake said from inside the bathroom. "I'll be right out."

Josh looked at his watch again, then tapped his foot impatiently. He counted to sixty in his head. Then to thirty. When he didn't hear the tell-tale sound of urination, he pushed open the door. Drake was just standing there, grinning.

Quickly assessing the situation, Josh said, annoyed, "You didn't really have to go, did you?"

"Nope." Drake's brown eyes sparkled mischievously.

"You're just trying to annoy me, aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Can we go now?"

"I'm ready. I'm waitin' on you." That grin again.

"Ulcers," Josh said, shaking his head as he turned towards the stairs. "You're gonna give me ulcers."

"Yeah, but you love it," Drake replied lightly, following Josh downstairs.

Josh looked at his watch again as he closed the front door behind them. "Ten minutes, Drake. We're gonna be late."

Snatching the keys from his brother's hand, he met Josh's eyes and smiled. "No we're not."

"What time is it?" Drake whispered covertly to Josh, who was sitting to his right in the booth.

Josh looked at his watch, trying not to make it too obvious. "Ten fifteen," he whispered back.

Drake stifled a groan. He was hoping it was closer to midnight so that he could dutifully kiss his date to ring in the new year and then take her home, where he wouldn't have to listen to her talk anymore.

Her incessant chatter was giving him a headache; she hadn't stopped talking since she got in the car two and a half hours ago. He was convinced his ears would start bleeding soon. Sitting across from him now, she was still talking.

"…couldn't believe it! I mean, we don't look that much alike. Like, her nose has a little bump right here," she said, pointing to the bridge of her nose, "and mine doesn't. Besides," she added, jutting out her bottom lip in a pout, "my boobs are bigger than hers." She was talking about her twin sister, who was sitting right next to her.

"Nuh uh!" her sister exclaimed indignantly.

"Yes huh!"

"No they're not!

"Fine. Let's ask the boys." As one, they turned to face Drake and Josh, pushing their chests out. "Whose are bigger? And be honest," she said, giggling.

Their names were Jessica and Jennifer Morgan. Jessica was Drake's date, Jennifer was Josh's. Dating identical twins had seemed like a good idea, but now Drake wasn't so sure. "Uh…" he floundered, trying to keep his eyes on their faces. "I think…I'm thirsty," he said, then reached for his drink and wrapped his lips around his straw, taking a long sip. "What do you think, Josh?" he asked around the straw, gazing at his brother out of the corner of his eye.

His brother shot him a black look and banged his knee hard against Drake's under the table. Then he plastered on a smile and looked across the table at the girls. "I think you're both very pretty and I can see how it would be easy to confuse the two of you," he replied evenly, ever the diplomat.

"A light switch would confuse those two," Drake muttered, looking down into his glass.

There went Josh's knee again.

Jessica looked at Drake, her blue eyes guileless. "What did you say, Drake?"

Drake looked up from his glass. "Oh," he said, thinking fast. "I was just saying that I think we should be leaving soon." He smiled. "You know, if we want to get a good spot to watch the fireworks." He could see Josh shaking his head beside him.

When the girls had gone to the restroom, the boys headed outside to wait for them. Drake turned to Josh once they were outside and said hopefully, "Let's ditch 'em."

Josh just smiled. "We can't."

"Why not?" Drake patted his pocket. "I've got the keys."

"Drake," Josh said. "It wouldn't be right. Besides," he continued, smiling wider, "mine's not so bad."

Drake smirked, "That's only because her sister won't let her get a word in edgewise. I'll bet she's just as bad. I mean, they're identical, right?"

"Hey," Josh replied, "this was your idea, remember?" He altered his voice, made it higher-pitched. "'Twins, Josh. We blew it the first time, remember? But now we've got another chance.'"

Drake had no argument. "Yeah, well. The next time I say I have a good idea, smack me, okay?"

Josh laughed. "Can I get that in writing?"

"God, my head hurts," Drake lamented, rubbing his temples.

"It, like, won't be much longer. It'll be, like, midnight soon and then we can, like, go home." Josh chuckled.

"Good," Drake muttered, sharing a knowing look with his brother. "'Cause if I, like, have to listen to much more of this, I'll, like, have to kill myself."

"Here they come," Josh said quickly and pasted a wide smile on his face.

"Did you guys, like, miss us?" Jessica asked as they came out the door. She and her sister both giggled.

"Like a contagious disease," Drake muttered under his breath as Jessica hooked her arm through his.

Josh and Jennifer were in front of them and he heard his brother stifle a laugh, smoothly turning it into a cough.

"What?" Jessica asked and Drake suppressed a sigh.

"I said I hope you don't freeze," he replied, not looking at her. "It's getting kinda cold out." Well, cold for San Diego, at least.

"That's what I have you for," she said, gripping his upper arm. "To keep me warm."

"Great," he said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

As they walked to the car, he only hoped she was a good kisser.

She wasn't. When midnight finally, mercifully came, she swooped down upon him like a hawk after a squirrel and shoved her tongue so far into his mouth that he thought she was trying to clean his molars with it. He didn't even close his eyes; there hadn't been time. So he just stared up at her, terrified; she was so close that he couldn't even focus. She finally released him and sat up, grinning down at him, her lips glistening in the light of the fireworks popping overhead.

"Happy New Year!" she exclaimed over the din.

Drake sat up and ran the back of his hand slowly across his mouth. He tasted strawberry lip gloss and Pep-O-Mint Life Savers, which she had been eating…well, like candy in anticipation of the Main Event. "Happy New Year," he mumbled in return, casting a glance over at his brother.

Josh seemed to have fared better. At least he didn't look traumatized. Drake was jealous. "Well, I guess we should get going," he said, starting to push himself up.

Jessica grabbed his wrist, tugging him back down, where he landed heavily on his backside with a grunt. "Let's just stay here a while," she said, snaking her arm across his stomach and snuggling against him.

Drake looked over her head at Josh, who met his gaze from his place on the next blanket over and shrugged. "We'd just be sitting in traffic anyway," Josh said reasonably, a sympathetic look on his face.

Sighing, Drake surrendered, letting Jessica pull him down onto the blanket, where she rested her head on his right shoulder. His arm curved around her shoulders instinctively. "I'm, like, having a really good time," she whispered and Drake could feel her breath hot against his neck.

"I'm glad," he said, giving her shoulders a little squeeze as he watched the last of the fireworks. The sky was clear when the bursts of color faded away, revealing a blanket of stars. For a few minutes they laid there quietly, and with her newfound capacity for silence, Drake was just about to amend his opinion of her.

But then she started talking again. "I remember one New Year's Eve," she started, "when Jen and I were, like, six. We had begged Mom and Daddy to let us stay up, but they said no 'cause it was, like, so late and everything. So we went to bed and pretended to sleep and then when our parents went to bed, we, like, snuck out of our room. We were just gonna go outside to watch the fireworks for a little while and then sneak back to our room without our parents even knowing, but we, like, didn't know that the burglar alarm was on and when we opened the door, it, like, went off…"

Drake closed his eyes miserably and tried to tune her out. George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe…

She didn't stop talking until he reached Jimmy Carter.

The boys were on their way home. Josh was behind the wheel; Drake was slumped next to him with his head resting heavily against the back of the seat, his eyes partially closed against a throbbing headache.

"Even worse than Liza Tupper?" Josh asked, eyebrows raised, his eyes focused on the road. It was nearing one-thirty in the morning, but the traffic was still fairly heavy. The headlights of cars traveling south periodically illuminated the inside of the Honda.

"Even worse than two Liza Tuppers," Drake replied, rolling his head to the side to look at Josh's profile. "I thought she was gonna swallow me."

Josh just laughed.

"What's so funny?" Drake asked, trying to sound annoyed even though he was smiling.

"Oh, nothing," Josh said, casting a glance at Drake out of the corner of his eye. A droll grin curved his lips. "It's just that I guess they're not so identical after all."

Confusion darkened Drake's eyes before a look of understanding replaced it. "Lucky you," he said, smirking.

The boys fell into an amiable state of non-conversation the rest of the way home. Periodically, Josh would hear Drake sing along to the radio as he gazed out the passenger window. But by the time Josh pulled into their driveway and turned off the ignition, Drake had fallen into complete silence. He looked over at his brother; Drake looked to be asleep – his eyes were closed and his jaw was slack, his mouth hanging open slightly.

Josh smiled as he turned to stare out the windshield. Drake liked motion; he liked noise. Josh liked it when it was quiet like this, when the world around him was still and he could hear himself think. Most of the time, it never seemed to last very long.

Like now. "What are we looking at?" Drake suddenly whispered groggily from beside him, leaning towards Josh and peering through the glass.

Josh suppressed a smile. "Nothing. I was just enjoying the quiet." He turned his head to meet his brother's eyes across the console.

Drake just looked at him, automatically opening his mouth to say something snarky, but then closed it again. A small smile crept across his lips. "You know what? You're right," he said, his smile growing wider as he turned in his seat to look out the windshield at the dark house. "After tonight, it is nice to have some peace and quiet."

They sat in silence again, the light from the streetlamps filtering through the back window and casting oblong shadows against the front dash. The sound of the Jacobsons' sprinklers coming to life next door was the only thing to be heard. Josh closed his eyes and sighed contentedly.

"Happy New Year, Josh."

The words were spoken softly and hung in the air between them. Josh opened his eyes and looked over at Drake. "You, too," he answered back. He flashed a wide grin. "It's gonna be a great one."

Drake nodded as he suppressed a yawn with his hand. "But only after I get two aspirin and a few hours' sleep," he was finally able to say.

Josh pushed open his door. "Yeah, I'm kinda tired, too," he said, getting out.

"What do you have to be so tired from?" Drake retorted over the roof of the car. "You weren't the one having to pretend to sound interested during five hours of endless talking." Drake shut his car door, the still night air deadening the sound.

Josh laughed. "So, being insincere is hard work, is it?" he asked, tongue-in-cheek, as he headed up the front walk.

"You have no idea." As if to prove his point, Drake yawned. "'I collect coins that were made the year I was born. I have, like, 87 quarters, 106 dimes, 98 nickels, and 317 pennies,'" he mimicked as they stepped up onto the front porch.

Josh stopped just outside the front door, key poised in mid-air, and looked incredulously at his brother. "She said that?" He struggled to keep the laughter out of his voice.

"And that's not all," Drake replied, nodding vigorously, as if to say 'I told you.' "She also collects keychains with her name on them and knows all the lyrics to the songs from High School Musical.

"My favorite's 'Bop to the Top'," Josh said before he could stop himself. He felt a sudden blush creep up his neck and he busied himself with the deadbolt, making a conscious effort not to look at Drake, whose eyes he felt burning into him.

"Dude," Drake said, drawing out the word in disbelief.

"What? Mindy made me watch it," Josh said quickly as he opened the door and disappeared inside, leaving Drake on the doorstep.

"Uh-huh," Drake countered as he followed Josh inside and closed the front door behind them, turning the deadbolt back into place.

"Like you've never seen it," Josh said as he walked into the kitchen and flipped on the light, the sudden brightness making them both squint.

Drake headed for the refrigerator, ducking his head inside and emerging with the milk. "I haven't," he stated evenly, twisting off the cap and tilting the jug to his lips.

"Yeah, right." Josh held his hand out for the milk.

"I swear," Drake insisted, passing the jug to his brother.

Josh just gave him a look. "If you say so," he said, taking a swig of milk and handing the jug back to Drake.

"I'll bet you know all the words, too," Drake said dryly. "You and Jessica could sing a duet. Be the next Troy and Gabriella." Then the realization of what he'd just admitted shone in his face and horror widened his eyes.

Josh pointed at him. "I knew it! You have seen it."

Drake bought himself time by taking another drink of milk and then slowly replacing the cap and placing the jug back in the refrigerator. When he turned back around, Josh was still staring at him, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. "What?"

"Say it," Josh demanded.

"Say what?" Drake asked. But he already knew.

"You know."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Drake tried to slip past his brother to the door, but Josh stepped in front of him. He seemed even taller than usual.

"Yes, you do. Now say it." Josh crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at Drake, his light brown eyes twinkling.

"If I say it, will you promise never to mention it again?" Drake asked wearily. He really was tired.

Josh held up three fingers. "Scout's honor," he quipped.

Drake rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said. He looked directly at his brother. "I, Drake Parker, have seen the movie High School Musical.

Grinning in satisfaction, Josh said, "Thank you."

"Twice," Drake added, darting past Josh before he could react. He heard his brother laughing behind him.

Fifteen minutes later, they were both lying in bed, suddenly too keyed up to fall asleep. "So what's your New Year's resolution?" Josh asked.

"I don't know," Drake answered. "I haven't really thought about it." He had his hands folded behind his head and was staring at the shadows on the ceiling above his bed.

"Mine's to get accepted into a good college. Maybe Stanford or USC."

Drake flipped over onto his stomach, tucking his pillow under his folded arms as he gazed at his brother across the room. "Why not Yale or Harvard? You know, somewhere far away from here."

"You tryin' to get rid of me or something?" Josh asked jokingly, but his voice carried a note of disquiet.

"I just think you shouldn't limit your options, that's all." Drake spoke softly, but in the quiet room, his voice was clear.

There was a long pause before Josh finally said, "In-state schools are cheaper."

Josh's face was hidden in shadow, but Drake knew his brother was looking at him. He also knew that Josh was a cinch for a scholarship and that the high cost of out-of-state tuition wasn't the reason why Josh wanted to stay in California for college. "Don't worry about me, Josh. I'll be fine."

When the response finally came, it was strained, spoken in a hoarse voice. "Yeah, I know." But he didn't sound convinced.

Silence hung heavily in the air between them. Finally, after a long moment, Drake said, "I guess my resolution would just be to graduate."

Josh didn't respond right away and Drake figured he had fallen asleep. But then, very softly, he heard his brother say, "You will."

Drake just smiled into the darkness.

Across and slightly down the street, a man sat in his dark blue Chevy Suburban staring at the set of windows above the garage of the Parker-Nichols house where just a few minutes before a light had burned. He had had to roll down the driver's window since the dark tinting obstructed his view. On the seat beside him was a set of pocket-sized binoculars. He had seen the boys come home, had watched them talking on the doorstep before disappearing inside. He'd watched as a downstairs light was turned on (the kitchen?) and then turned off again a few minutes later. Then the upstairs light had come on and he knew, knew this was their bedroom. He had watched the shadows play across the curtains, tried to pick out which one belonged to which boy. He was sweating beneath his clothes despite the coolness of the night and he rubbed his itchy palms absently on his jeans.

He stared at the darkened window for ten minutes, twenty, his mind spinning in endless circles, his pulse throbbing against the collar of his black leather jacket. The sound of a metal trash can being knocked over on the pavement startled him and he turned his eyes towards the sound as a big orange cat skittered away into the shadows.

The spell was broken. Realizing there was nothing left to see that night, he reached with trembling fingers for the keys that were dangling from the ignition. The headlights blazed down the dark street as he started the engine. Taking a deep breath, he willed himself not to look at the house again, at the dark window that currently hid the object of his latest obsession. Pressing the accelerator gently, being careful not to rev the engine and draw attention to himself, he slid almost silently out of the neighborhood.

Like he had never even been there at all.

I hope you liked it! If you did, please let me know. Reviews are very much appreciated. And as always, thank you to everyone who has so far.