Author's note: How do you like it so far? Reviews please!
Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Twilight or New Moon. All that credit belongs to Stephenie Meyer
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As I slowly moved back toward consciousness I heard people whispering in the back ground. I couldn't make out the voices, but for some reason that didn't seem to bother me. When finally my eyes opened there was only a little amount of light coming in the room, but I could see that it was a white room with a curtain pulled closed around me so I couldn't see out.
"This is going to be hard on her, but for some reason it will not shock her nearly as much as our leaving did." I now herd Alice explain. That is when the memories about Charlie came flooding back to me. I waited for the pain to come, but it never did. Am I not sad that Charlie is gone, but then it hit me that Jasper must be close.
"What are you saying, Alice? Her father is dead, how will that not shock her?" I heard a voice that I was shocked to hear, it was Rosalie.
"No what she is saying is that, yes this is going to be hard on her, but she has us." Esme began, "When we left Folks she had no one that she could turn too. Yes there was Charlie, but he didn't understand what she was going though. For what I have gathered they didn't talk much about feelings, he was too scared to upset her, and she didn't want to upset him." I thought about what Esme was saying and in a way it was true, yes it hurt to know that my father was gone, but if I can a vampire like I so wanted I knew I would have to deal with it sooner or later, just did not think it would be so soon. Again I saw myself wondering how I was so calm about this.
"She is hurting deeply, but there is a little bit of relief and I am not sure why." Then I herd Jasper say and that confirmed that he was repressing my pain. His gift came in handy many times for me in the past, and this was no different.
"Ed…Edward?" I said softly knowing he would still hear me. Just then he was sitting next to me holding my hand. He tried to smile at me whole heartedly but it didn't fool me.
"How long have I been out?" I asked as I slowly sat up. His smile faded, "Two days, Carlisle thought it best that you rest." I just nodded as he pulled me into his cool comforting arms. While sitting there I noticed that I was no longer in the hospital, but I was somewhere unfamiliar.
"Where are we?" I managed to get out.
"Back at my house, Alice set this room up for you." That is when I noticed that it was not a curtain around me but the bed drapes. They where all a deep burgundy with gold trim, the bed was a deep chestnut wood with spiraling designs making up the four bed post and the head board had different spirals on it as well. The bed spread was also a deep burgundy with gold spirals in it. I shuttered at how much this must have cost.
"I will have to thank her." I smiled half-heartedly.
"You're welcome Bella. Only wish it was for a better reason." Alice spoke softly as she quickly came and sat down on my right side. I slightly jumped; I don't think that I will ever get use to their quick movements.
"I am sorry about Charlie, Bella. Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked with a slight smile to try and ease my pain. Little did she know that Jasper still had me feeling calm. "No I am ok right now, but thank you." Both Alice and Edward looked at me with suspicious eyes.
"Really I am okay." Although I wanted to see Charlie I knew it wasn't a good idea. Edward and Alice exchanged a look and then Edward kissed my forehead and said he would return shortly.
"Where is Edward going?" I asked a few minutes later.
"He needs to go hunt. He is the only one of us who has not since…well in a while."
"It's okay Alice, I feel fine. I need to thank Jasper, with out his help I would be a wreck right now. But I am glade that I am not for I need to think clearly right now." I told her without looking at her, but I tried to smile slightly.
"About that Bella, I have to ask you something." I couldn't help but look up at her right then; her eyes would be full of tears if she could cry.
"Jasper is not near he is out with Emmett getting your things from…Charlie's." I felt the shock take hold of my face. If Jasper wasn't the one making me feel better, then why am I not a wreck?
"I…I don't understand?" Now shaking me head, "I heard him talking earlier."
"He was but when you called for Edward everyone but me left the room, to finish preparing things for you."
"Then why am I no…not breaking down? I still don't understand."
"Well Bella, I think it has to do with the relief that you feel."
"I am not relieved that he's gone, I don't know where that feeling is coming from. He died mad at me, I cause his death. It's my fault that Charlie is dead!" Finally the pain over came me, and I was sobbing in Alice's chest.
"Don't talk like that Bella, he loved you. Yes he was upset but that had nothing to do with it. Carlisle told us that he was due for a heart attack; before you moved here, Charlie was not eating healthy and did not take very good care of himself. It was unfortunate that it turn out the way that it did. But Bella please don't blame yourself Charlie would not want you too live in guilt." Her words made since but I still blame myself.
"But if I didn't make hi…him so angry he," She cut me off, "No Bella, listen Charlie had very high blood pressure and yes, being upset did not help, but it would not have been too much longer, even with no stress at all. We don't want you blaming yourself, Edward already feels guilty that he was not fast enough; he thinks he let you down. That he has always been scared of you getting physically hurt that he forgot about emotionally."
"Edward is wrong! He couldn't let me down, I let…Charlie down." Alice went to say something but I put a finger on her lips to stop her. I continued sobbing in her chest until unconsciousness took me over once again.