Disclaimer: Statement: This particular meatbag does not own or claim to own the games Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic or Mass Effect for fear of execution.

Proud Declaration: Instead these games are copyrighted to the exceptional men and women of the Bioware Corporation, Lucas Arts and Microsoft game studios.

Strange New Meatbags

As the Normandy airlock opened, the first thing Joker said was, "Geth!"

Of course, chaos broke loose as every officer on the deck drew their pistol at the droid, as it aimed its rifle at them.

"Threat: Failure to lower your weapons will result in the enjoyable end of your pilot"

Commander Shepard raised his hand. "Everybody calm down and lower your weapons; he won't shoot as long as I'm here."

They crew exchanged murmurs and various looks. Was it possible that Commander Shepard was being threatened, or worse indoctrinated? As Joker lowered his pistol, the rest of the crew followed suit.

"Obviously, we're all a bit nervous about meeting HK."

"It has a name?" Joker asked trying to his best to be serious.

"I want all officers to meet me in the com room. Tali," She looked at the Commander with frustration. "Take control of the Normandy."

"You're leaving me with this synthetic!?" Her warbled voice cracked a bit more. "It's obviously looking to kill me!"

Shepard pulled Tali to a corner and whispered to her ear. "Look, this droid isn't anything you can't handle-

"Correction:Master, I-"one look told the droid to cease vocal argument.

"This droid could be the key to ending the war with the Reapers. We need to tell Udina and the Captain and maybe we could work something out."

The Quarian stood still for a moment, and asked, "How are we going to end this war exactly?"

Shepard looked around to make sure no one could hear him and whispered to her ear.

"Absolutely not!"

"Tali, just hear me out."

"What you're asking me to do is not only an insult to me but to my entire people. I can't do that-"

"If he gets out of line, I'll deal with him myself." Shepard whispered to her ear.

"Commander." Joker said, finally in his leg braces. "Everyone's waiting."

Shepard pulled out his omni tool.

"HK,"

"Query: Do need me to kill-"

"For the sixth time, no! Here's a Codex for you to study. Read it, and don't shoot or kill Tali."

"Disappointed Confirmation: (sigh) As you desire, Master.

"Can someone explain to me why we have a Geth on our ship?" Navigator Pressley had started sweating profusely ever since its arrival.

"Okay, first of all HK-47 is not a Geth." Shepard said leaning against the com link.

"What's the difference?" Williams asked, tucking her arms in.

"Everything, HK can translate the Geth language making it possible to communicate with them."

Garrus' eyes widened. "Commander, isn't that the same thing Saren tried with the Reapers?"

"Not so, Garrus. Saren was giving us up without a fight. The Reapers aren't going to change after 50,000 years. But there's still a chance the Geth could be reasoned with."

"John- I mean, Skipper." Williams now stood up, "I really don't think that robot's designed for peaceful relations. I mean, it asked us if it could kill something 6 times!"

"I dunno." Wrex came in, smirking. "I like him."

"Well of course, you would like him!" Williams added.

"We have to try." Shepard said. "Lives are being lost everyday. This war has to end, and we could save both sides some casualties."

"I believe you are mistaken, Shepard." Liara leaned in.

"Why's that?"

"First of all, I do not believe synthetics are even alive to begin with."

"Query: May I ask you something, Quarian?"

Tali didn't really want to be disturbed but decided not to cause an argument.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Query: Did you ever wonder what life would be like if the roles of you and the Geth were reversed?"

Tali eyed the droid suspiciously. "What do you mean? Like if the Geth attacked first?"

"Clarification: No, actually I was referring to if the Geth had made you the slaves and fired first. Would that have caused less damage to them or the swifter execution of your species?"

"I don't like this," Joker said, trying his best not to break a bone. "But, I trust you enough to know what you're doing, Captain."

"We've been through some rough times, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said, "but you've pulled us through many times before. I believe in you, Shepard."

"If anyone has any objections, come clean." One by one, all the officers agreed with a "Yep" or an "I guess"

"Okay now all we have to do is-" A pistol fire came from the other side of the Normandy. All the crew rushed out to find that several of the controls had been damaged and the Quarian and the droid were a second away from shooting each other.

"Both of you, knock it off!"

"I'm not going to tolerate this anymore! I want it off!"

"Correction: If anyone is the intolerable one, it is you, Quarian. I simply asked a simple question."

"If he stays, I'm gone. I don't want an alliance between synthetics and us."

"Tali, Tali! Cool off, I'll make sure he-"

"It." She said bluntly her back turned.

"Excuse me?"

"You used 'him'. That's the wrong word." She stormed off to the elevator and went down."

Shepard turned to the pilot. "Can you fix it, Joker?"

"Yeah, but it's gonna take a while. I don't think our friend better stay here."

Shepard rubbed his chin. "Well, my room's out of the question; too many files. Hey, Adams, do you think the engine room can-"

"Commander, I don't think Tali would appreciate that."

"Dr. Chakwas, can you-"

"People go to the med bay to get better, not worse."

"Justification: Master, I cannot help that my primary protocol calls for assassination. Do not judge me for how I was made."

"Hey, how about Lt's old spot?" Cockpit stood in silence as they stared at Shepard. Williams was the only one brave enough to approach him.

"Skipper, are-are you sure?" she asked him, her eyes looking directly into his.

"Positive, he won't cause any harm while down there. C'mon HK, I'll show you to your new home."

"Ecstatic Statement: Oh joy." As they went downstairs, the crew remained silent.

"All this time…" Pressley said.

"He still regrets it." Garrus swallowed a little. "He can't let go."

"I believe this…synthetic may be just an excuse for the Commander." Liara felt sorrowful at the statement.

"I'll keep an eye on him." The Doctor said. "If he starts his sentences with the word, 'Statement' we'll know something's wrong."

"Here it is, Home Sweet Home." Shepard had led the droid to panel room where he used to make repairs. "If you need anything, just give me a call."

"Request: Ah, master…"

"What is it, HK?"

"Query: You seem awfully…defensive of me despite the other meatbags, why is that?"

"HK, I think we need to stop judging others from first appearances and- Wait a moment, meatbags?" He looked at him as if something rotten had turned in his stomach.

"Clarification: Why yes, master. Organics are skins filled with liquid and all thesesquishy parts. How can you tolerate it?"

Shepard eyed the droid for a moment and snickered. "You think that's bad, let me tell about the time I was on Elysium."

"Statement: I think I'm starting to like you, Master."