Chapter 4: Abby
Luvsoccer04: hey sis
Violindiva09: hey abs, 'sup?
Luvsoccer04: you're never going to believe this!
Violindiva09: you've found a cure for your allergies?
Luvsoccer04: haha, very funny
Violindiva09: see, I can crack a joke every now and then!
Luvsoccer04: I know sis. Anyway, the big news is this…I'm going to be the newest cast member of "The Second City" in Chicago!!
Violindiva09: NO WAY!
Luvsoccer04: yes way. I have to move out to Chicago shortly after the BSC reunion.
Violindiva09: wow. That is awesome! I can't wait to see you doing what you love in person!
Luvsoccer04: Thanks sis. I'm SO nervous though! They do a lot of improv, and I haven't had a ton of practice with that yet.
Violindiva09: You'll be fine, I know it. Soon you'll be on SNL!
Luvsoccer04: haha, one can hope!
Violindiba09: You know Shannon is moving out to Chicago too.
Luvsoccer04: Really? Think she might want a roommate?
Violindiva09: dunno, her boyfriend is out in Chicago though, Brian I think…you should e-mail her or call her though.
Luvsoccer04: thanks, I will. Well, I have to run sis. I'm going to this new club that opened in Hollywood. Hoping to meet some real celebs!
Violindiva09: what, the Queen Mother wasn't enough for you?
Luvsoccer04: that never does get old with you, does it? I've met many other celebs since then and you know it.
Violindiva09: mmhmm, you mean the time you thought you met Elvis?
Luvsoccer04: I'm saying goodbye now. And just for that, I won't tell Orlando Bloom you said hello!
I sighed as I signed off of instant messenger. I know Anna was just teasing, but honestly, am I ever going to live down the events that happened when I was thirteen?
I live in LA, well near LA. I went to the California Institute of the Arts for college, which is north of LA. Regardless, I see celebs all of the time. Just the other day I saw Jay Leno walking down the street (he was doing his "Jaywalking" segment for the Tonight Show). He wouldn't interview me though, said I looked too smart. Whatever.
So, one of the main reasons why I was excited about tonight was because I was going to have the opportunity to meet a lot of great comedians: Robin Williams (EIIIIII!), Jerry Seinfeld, Ellen Degeneres, Kathy Griffin, Dana Carvey, Chris Rock (LOVE him!) and many more. A friend of mine got me into this party, I have no idea HOW she did it but she did.
Stephanie Anderson is my best bud from acting school (also my current roommate). She was more interested in being in sitcoms and stuff like that. She had actually landed a small role in an upcoming sitcom this fall. I didn't know a lot about it but supposedly it was geared towards pre-teens – college kids. Sounded like a good fit for her. I hadn't told her about Second City yet, as I had only found out an hour ago.
I was shocked myself. When I decided to come to LA, I knew I was interested in acting. I've always been fascinated with Hollywood, celebs and all of that stuff. My school trained me for all sorts of acting styles, I even got to be in a musical (a non-singing role though, I can't sing for the life of me!). It was my improvisation class that really got me interested in doing the stand up type stuff though. I love making people laugh, and after awhile realized that my goal in life is to someday make it on Saturday Night Live.
Well, one step at a time. Many great SNL actors got their start at Second City. It was so amazing to think that I, Abigail Stevenson, would be a permanent part of the Second City cast in just a mere month.
As I was daydreaming, my cell phone rang breaking me out of a great SNL skit that I had developed in my mind that involved the current president. I looked at the phone and smiled.
"Hey Steph," I said as I picked up the phone. "What's up Abs!" Stephanie replied. I smiled. "Well, I have some news…" I teased.
"Oooh, what is it? Did you get a part in that theatre group you auditioned for in LA?" she asked. I laughed. "Oh, it's better than that…"
"Wait, don't tell me yet! I'll grab a bottle of wine and be home shortly. Something tells me we have reason to celebrate! I just was calling to see if you needed anything else from the store anyway," she said excitedly.
"Um, we need more milk and we're almost out of that vodka you really like," I replied as I looked around our kitchen. Stephanie laughed. "Already on it, I'll see you in a few minutes!"
"Sounds great Steph, see you in a bit," I said, as we said our quick goodbyes and hung up the phone.
I walked into my bedroom and looked at the new dress I had bought for the evening. Stephanie and I had gone shopping in Beverly Hills specifically for tonight. Stephanie has connections with a boutique that sells sample dresses for ridiculously reduced prices. Stephanie's mom works in the fashion industry too, so that helps.
Anyway, my ensemble for the evening was this very sleek, very sophisticated black dress. It was a v-neck (low enough to show off come cleavage but not TOO much cleavage) in the front and back, and was made of silk. The dress fell down to the floor and the skirt was in a trumpet style that fitted nicely around my hips and flared towards the bottom. I had a fantastic pair of tall black heels I had bought recently and I couldn't wait to wear my new outfit. I was determined to be a knock out tonight.
I pulled out my makeup and washed my face in preparation for the beauty makeover that was about to occur. I plugged in my flat iron and set it to high. I have naturally unruly curly hair. While some days it is nice, I wanted to pull my hair up in a sleek up-do to match my uber-sleek ensemble for the evening.
As I was picking out my jewelry for the evening, I hear the door open. "Hey Abs, I'm home!" I heard Stephanie call.
I heard her drop some bags on the kitchen counter and her pull out the corkscrew from one of the drawers. I heard the distinct "pop" of a cork being pulled out of a wine bottle. I finished setting out my jewelry for the evening and walked into the kitchen.
Stephanie was pouring some red wine into two glasses. I glanced at the bottle and my eyes widened. It was one of our favorites, but I also knew it was expensive.
"Steph, you shouldn't have," I started to say but she shushed me and forced the glass of wine into my hand. Her green eyes were fierce and I knew better than to argue with her.
She flipped her medium length light brown hair behind her and smiled. Sometimes I was very envious of Stephanie, because she is absolutely gorgeous. She's very short (and I mean VERY short) but very slender, with gorgeous green eyes. She always looks tan, but she also spends a lot of time at the beach. I remember all of the guys in our acting classes would always gawk over her. I sometimes feel very…average in comparison.
I looked at the glass of wine that had been handed to me and smiled. "Well Steph, you're never going to believe it…"
Stephanie groaned. "Come on and tell me already!" I lifted up my glass in a toast like fashion. "I propose a toast, to me, the newest and latest edition to the 'Second City' cast in Chicago this fall!"
Stephanie screamed and almost dropped her glass, which would have been a disaster on our light colored carpet. We toasted, then she and I both set our glasses down so she could hug me.
"I can't believe it! This is so incredibly awesome! When do you start?" I peeled myself away from her grasp and laughed. "Well, I have to head out to Chicago in July, but I don't actually start being a regular member until September," I explained.
"This is so great, you and I both have found acting jobs, and tonight we're going to have a blast with some of the most popular celebrities in comedy with Jeremy and Patrick," Stephanie said excitedly.
I paused as my grip suddenly tightened around my wine glass. I knew Jeremy was coming; Jeremy is Stephanie's "almost fiancé." They've been together for four years, so they're practically married and probably will be someday.
Patrick though, I did not remember. Stephanie saw my look of horror and cleared her throat.
"I told you that Jeremy is coming with us tonight, right?" I nodded.
"Yes, you mentioned that Jeremy was coming with us tonight," I replied, emphasizing Jeremy's name.
"Right, well I told you about Patrick too? Jeremy's cousin from Ireland? I did tell you that we're required to bring dates to this event, right?"
I glared at her. "You most certainly did not," I replied, feeling myself tense up.
Stephanie sighed and set down her glass on the counter as I forced myself to sit down on the couch. "Okay, Abs, you're right. I didn't mention Patrick. I didn't mention him because I knew you'd refuse to go if you knew," she explained.
"Damn right," I replied tersely.
Stephanie flew over to the open spot next to me on the couch and faced me. "Abby, you need to stop letting what happened with Jonathan rule your life, okay? He was jerk who didn't deserve you. That doesn't mean that all men all evil," Stephanie said with a hint of frustration in her voice.
"How would YOU know? You've had Jeremy by your side forever, the perfect doting guy who never seems to do any wrong. You're lucky Steph," I replied.
Stephanie eyed me. "Nothing is perfect and Jeremy most certainly is not perfect. Everyone has their issues," Stephanie tried to explain.
"You were there Steph; you KNOW what I went through. And I told you that I would tell you when I was ready to start dating…"
"It's not a date! No expectations, just friends hanging out Abs!" Stephanie begged.
"No, I'm sorry," I said shaking my head negatively. "Tell Patrick to find another date to bring to this party. Call Maggie, she'd probably LOVE to go out with a cute guy with an accent," I replied bitterly as I downed my glass of wine and escaped to my bedroom, slamming the door shut.
I fell onto my bed as the tears began to fall. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to remember the joy, the pain…
My sophomore year, I fell in love. I fell hard. His name was Dr. Jonathan Brooks, and he was the youngest and hottest professor at the California Institute of the Arts. He taught one of my "History of Theatre" classes. Many of the female (and some male) students thought he was incredibly hot, and boy was he ever.
Tall, blond with the bluest eyes you had ever seen. He was fit, not scrawny and looked about 25 years old (though he had his doctorate, so I knew he couldn't be quite that young). Regardless, during our classes I had a very hard time concentrating.
Occasionally I'd run into Jonathan on campus. I liked to go on frequent walks to clear my head during stressful times, and apparently so did he.
However, we ended up running into each the most at a nearby private beach area. Jonathan's house was practically on the beach. I didn't realize that it was a private beach at first, but Jonathan told me I was welcome to come by any time.
After that, we found ourselves constantly running into each other at the beach, walking along the shore during sunset. We talked about everything. He talked about his acting experience and why he decided to become a teacher. I talked about my interest in improvisation and comedy. We shared our favorite acting experiences, plays, also little things like favorite ice cream flavors.
Jonathan snagged Stephanie and I tickets to see "Rent," when he heard I wanted to go. I bought him a set of roller blades so we could roller blade along the beach together. I knew our friendship was dangerous, he was my professor.
One day I stopped by his office after class, to get his input on an upcoming assignment. I rarely visited him at his office but I was having the hardest time getting into character. Jonathan had assigned my partner Justin and I the trellis scene from "Romeo and Juliet." Now, I loved Justin to death but he was, well a bit of a flamboyant Romeo and I couldn't stop laughing over the ridiculously sappy lines from Shakespeare's text. I needed some assistance.
Jonathan was a great help. He worked the scene with me and he laughed when I cracked jokes about the absurdity of the scene and the ridiculous language. Finally, I got serious and we acted out the scene together without laughing.
In fact, we were so deeply into our characters it was like I really was Juliet, and he really was Romeo. We reached an important moment in the scene and ours eyes met…I stared into those bright pools of blue and before I knew it, we were kissing. I knew this wasn't in the script, it was real. It was passionate and fierce. I responded fervently and felt Jonathan's arms wrap tightly around my waist. Somehow Jonathan moved us over to the door and he quickly locked it. He ran his fingers through my hair and said "God, I love you," as our lips quickly crashed together once again.
We fell onto the couch in his office and made love right there in his office. It was so spontaneous, so passionate so…out of a movie script or a daytime soap opera. It was not exactly how I pictured to lose my virginity, but I didn't care. I was in love with him, and I knew he was in love with me too.
Though we knew having a teacher-student relationship was frowned upon, we didn't care. We kept our relationship a secret, do the dean wouldn't find out. We met on the beach, at his beach house and in his office on occasion. Our chemistry was so strong we could hardly stand to keep our hands off of each other.
He made me promises. That we would travel the world and he would show me all of his favorite places. That once the semester was over we would be able to tell everyone about our relationship, and that once I was no longer his student things would be okay. He complimented me, encouraged me in my studies…he said he loved me.
I was completely in love with him and also completely in over my head. I didn't know what I was doing.
That summer, he promised to tell everyone in the fall. He didn't want the dean to think that our relationship influenced my grade in his class. If we could convince everyone that our relationship started afterwards, then it would be okay. I believed him.
In August, I discovered I was pregnant. Naïve me was shocked but yet overjoyed by this news. I thought this would be just the thing to get Jonathan to propose.
I was so excited I rushed to his office to tell him the good news. When I got there, I saw him kissing another woman and my stomach lurched in pain. I heard a small voice say "mommy, can daddy take me to the zoo?" It was a child's voice, about four years old. I turned my head and saw a small child, a boy, look up expectantly at his mother. I knew at once the child was Jonathan's. I could feel myself getting sick, and Jonathan saw me and his eyes widened. I did what I could. I ran.
I ran, and eventually Jonathan met up with me. "Let me explain," he implored but I ignored him.
Eventually we found ourselves at "our place," as in the beach. I sat on the sand just watching the waves, thinking about the unborn child that was residing in my stomach.
Jonathan sat down next to me and remained silent. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally broke down. "Who is she?" I whispered.
Jonathan sighed and turned away. "My wife," he said, in barely a whisper. "YOUR WIFE?" I screamed but Jonathan continued to look away.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this Abby. We were separated. We married for Lucas's sake, but our marriage had problems and we agreed to separate for awhile. Now, Donna wants to work things out for Lucas's sake and…" he trailed off.
I took a deep breath. "And, I want to try and work things out with her. Our son deserves that chance. Please understand me Abby, I do love you," he tried to explain.
But I'd heard enough. "Like hell you do. People who love each other don't keep secrets. And this is a pretty big secret. What was I to you, just an easy shag?" I retorted, my voice starting to rise.
Jonathan's eyes were filled with tears. "No Abby, it wasn't and you shouldn't think that way. I do love-"
But he was cut off by an agonizing shriek from me. A sharp pain had hit throughout my body, and it wasn't just my heart breaking.
I had a miscarriage. In the hospital, Jonathan found out about the baby, but it was too late. Donna found out as well and left Jonathan, infuriated by his indiscretion as she called it.
Jonathan tried to contact me so many times after that. He had left his job and accepted a new role at UCLA. He tried to get me to believe that he still wanted us to work.
I ignored him, because I knew the only reason he wanted to work things out was guilt. He felt bad that I had lost our baby because of him. And his now ex-wife had decided she didn't want him, so he wanted to come crawling back to me. I would not let him.
So that is why I, Abigail Stevenson, refuse to ever let a man control my life ever again. Life is so much easier being single.
When you're single, you are free to do what you want. You can hang out, have fun, hook up with random guys if you want…your time is spent the way you want it.
When you're single, you aren't all hung up on someone else, and making your life all about them, or the relationship.
And when you're single, you can't get hurt.