Do you cry out in your sleep
All my feelings exposed?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just can't function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart again
-Joy Division
Siri
"Qui-Gon won't be very happy about this," Adi Gallia said crisply over the comm feed.
"I don't think anyone's too thrilled," Siri mumbled to herself as she glanced at Obi-Wan.
He was sitting in a chair as far away from Siri and Bant as he could manage in the confined room and staring at the wall. He hadn't moved from that position since he'd apologized to Bant for shouting at her about Xanatos.
What's his problem? So Xanatos is back, it's nothing we can't deal with.
"Is there anything else to report?" Adi asked.
Siri smiled. "One of the owners has a little crush on Obi-Wan, if that's worth anything."
"Siri!" Obi-Wan snapped.
Adi was silent for a moment. "Excellent."
"What?" Obi-Wan demanded. "What could possibly be excellent about this?"
"Encourage him, you can use any affection he might have for you to your advantage. You're one on a mission, and nothing is too embarrassing or uncomfortable for a Jedi."
Obi-Wan sighed and glared at Siri. "Yes master."
"Good, is that all?"
"Is Qui-Gon there with you?" Obi-Wan spoke suddenly.
"No," Adi responded. "He and Kit are interviewing that family members of the kidnapped."
Obi-Wan punched his leg in frustration. "Have him contact me as soon as he gets in."
"You know we can't do that. If we don't maintain comm silence except on scheduled times then we run the risk of being discovered. I'll make sure that he's here for the next communication, but that's all I can do," Adi said unapologetically.
Siri studied Obi-Wan's face.
Why does he look so upset? The entire galaxy is going to come to an end over Xanatos. He knows the importance of this mission.
"You'll have to be patient," Adi said, with a hint of sympathy this time. Siri knew that she understood Obi-Wan's distress, but he needed to handle it without Qui-Gon.
What's the big deal about this ex-Jedi anyway?
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Obi-Wan
He had a nightmare.
He was preparing for their mission against Cad'ara, but he was alone. The color had been drained from the world around him.
"Cut your braid Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon had said. "It will be fine."
But he wasn't there now, and Obi-Wan was left do to it alone.
The shears were cumbersome and larger than his hands, but somehow he managed to get them close enough to his head to clip his braid off. It fell to the ground in a tangle.
He released a breath, then felt a chilling liquid run down his neck. Frantically he rubbed his hand against his neck, and it came back deep red.
No, He tried to say the word, but he couldn't. All he could do was scream as the blood dripped down his body and pooled around his feet until the entire floor was deep crimson.
And no one came.
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Xanatos
Being near him again was strange.
They were both putting on airs for the people around them, and they had to act like Tarria didn't happen.
That was hard.
It was for the best, Xanatos said. Alone we can be ourselves. At least, he can. I can only reveal so much for the time being, but he'll understand when it's over.
It is, afterall, for him.
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Obi-Wan
It was hard to look for someone and avoid someone else at the same time.
What is Xanatos doing here?
Obi-Wan knew the obvious answer: Xanatos liked wealth and power, and he was gaining more of both from Cad'ara. But there was more, there had to be. And Obi-Wan was afraid that it had to do with him.
But, the young Jedi told himself, judging by Xanatos's actions last night, I could be very mistaken. Maybe he was using me.
There was, however, one person that might have some answers.
Obi-Wan found him in the same empty sitting room where their last confrontation had been.
Gerrith sat fast asleep. His legs were propped on a simple table and his chair was leaned back. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and kicked the chair, waking Gerrith and transforming him into a heap on the floor. Obi-Wan knew that, as a Jedi, he shouldn't have done that. Really he was too annoyed to be a Jedi.
"I asked you point blank," he said to Gerrith in a chillingly calm voice. "I asked who you were working for, and you gave me the run around."
Gerrith stared up at Obi-Wan's angry face and fumbled with his words. "I'm… I'm just trying to finish out my contract with Xanatos. We aren't supposed to tell anyone he's on board."
"We?" Obi-Wan demanded.
With a groan Gerrith placed his head in his hands. "I shouldn't have said that."
"How many? Are they employees of Xanatos alone, or do they work for Cad'ara?"
"Come on," Gerrith shook his head. "Give me a break here."
Obi-Wan grabbed the front of his tunic and jerked him to his feet. "Tell me now."
"Hey!" Gerrith said, struggling against Obi-Wan's grip. "I've got a family!"
"No you don't."
"Well I might someday."
Obi-Wan tightened his grip. "Then talk fast."
"We all work for Cad'ara," Gerrith answered. "But rumor has it Xanatos is running some other project. Something big."
"What is it?" Obi-Wan asked, releasing his grip on Gerrith.
Gerrith shook his head. "How should I know? Not like he confides in me. Besides, even if I did know I wouldn't tell you. You don't know what Xanatos would do to me!"
Obi-Wan thought back to Xanatos's human sacrifices to the Sith, and sighed. "Yes, I do."
He left Gerrith without further questioning; he could find the bounty hunter later if he needed to.
Once in the hallway Obi-Wan rested his forehead on the cool wall, thinking about what his next step would be.
"Miss me?" Warm hands fell on Obi-Wan's shoulders and a voice purred in his ear.
The Jedi brought his elbow back sharply, hitting the other man in his abdomen. Obi-Wan pulled away from the grasp and looked at his harasser.
Who was not Xanatos.
"Gannen?" Obi-Wan said, surprised and disappointed.
Gannen nodded, clutching his stomach. "I've been greeted better."
"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said immediately. "I thought you were – I thought you were someone else."
How could I confuse him with Xanatos? Gannen's hands were warm, and Xanatos's are always cold.
Gannen straightened and rubbed his stomach. "I should be happy that we hired a mercenary who knows how to take care of himself."
"And in my defense," Obi-Wan said with a slight smile. "You did sneak up on me."
Returning the smile, Gannen shrugged. "I was going for that mysterious effect, it seems to work for Xanatos."
Obi-Wan felt like Gannen had been the one to elbow him, but the other man didn't seem to notice. "One day I'd like to run into one of his lovers and see what makes him so appealing."
"Yes," Obi-Wan agreed carefully. "It would be interesting to meet one of his lovers."
Gannen looked at him curiously. "Are you alright?"
Obi-Wan nodded stiffly. "I'm fine. Anyway, I'm sorry about hitting you."
"Think nothing of it," Gannen said before pausing pensively. "But you know, you could make it up to me."
Obi-Wan eyed him suspiciously, but waited.
"Join me for dinner in my suite tonight," Gannen grinned widely at him. "It'd be an honor."
"I don't know," Obi-Wan said as a thousand conflicting emotions assaulted him. "You're my employer."
"For tonight I won't be. Come now Obi-Wan, it'll fun."
Adi did tell me to encourage him.
Obi-Wan studied Gannen's face before nodding. "It couldn't hurt."
"Excellent," Gannen said. "Then I'll see you tonight."
He ran his hand against Obi-Wan's as he left the room. Obi-Wan sunk down until he was sitting on the ground once Gannen was out of sight.
What am I doing?
"Obi-Wan."
An excited chill ran down his spine, but he suppressed it. He didn't even have to look; there was no mistake this time.
"I've been looking for you," Xanatos said.
Anger erased the rush from before. "It's not like I'm hard to fine. I didn't die or anything," Obi-Wan answered, his back to the dark Jedi still.
"Don't be like that," Xanatos said calmly as he bent down and ran his index finger along Obi-Wan's jaw line. Obi-Wan jerked away from his touch and jumped to his feet.
"How should I be?" he demanded.
"I thought we were past this flinching everytime I touch you," Xanatos commented, raising an eyebrow.
Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed. "Don't change the subject, you always do that."
Xanatos reached for the younger man, but he moved away again. "I just want things to be the way they were," the ex-Jedi sighed.
"Well they can't be," Obi-Wan raised his voice into a shout, not caring who heard. "You let me think you were dead!"
Xanatos glanced down the hall quickly. "Someone will hear you."
"It doesn't matter," Obi-Wan turned so his back was once again facing Xanatos. "You vanished for nearly two years and you expect me to welcome you with open arms? You didn't leave me any trace."
"I did," Xanatos argued. "I left you that note on Tarrian paper, remember?"
"I didn't know if that was real. It's not fair Xanatos, and you know it. You knew where I was, and you never came."
Xanatos scoffed. "You must be joking, is that really the problem? Are you upset because I didn't go get you from the temple?"
Obi-Wan crossed his arms. "If you really wanted me you would have."
"You refused to leave Tarria with me and you would have refused to leave the Temple with me," Xanatos lifted his arms in frustration. "Is it so wrong that I wanted you to pine a little?"
"Yes! Yes, it is wrong. But that wouldn't matter to you; I'm sure that you had other lovers between Tarria and now."
"And you're completely loyal?" Xanatos demanded. "What were you talking to Gannen about just now?"
Obi-Wan froze. "You saw that?"
No, I don't feel guilty. I haven't done anything wrong.
"Frankly, I think that you throwing yourself at my business partner is just as bad."
"I was not throwing myself at anyone, and you let me think you were dead!" Obi-Wan repeated in a shout of fury, hot tears burning behind his eyes. "Do you know what that was like?"
"And you think that I didn't miss you?" Xanatos softened his voice and he cupped Obi-Wan's face in his hands. "There wasn't a single moment."
Obi-Wan's eyes hardened and he removed Xanatos's hands. "When you see me don't talk to me, don't even look at me. I want nothing to do with you."
He turned on his heel and walked away.
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A/N: Here's Shattered Love, beta-ed by the lovely and gracious Child of a Pineapple at our last beta party, so special thanks to her (golf clap). I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It was uneventful to the actual kidnapping plot, but we'll get there I promise. Please review!