I'm going to try something different this time around. The previous episodes have been focused on dialogue and character development. This time, I'm going to try my hand at action. Hopefully, it turns out well. Enjoy.
CHAPTER FIVE: Attack of the Killer Snow Zombies (King of the Mountain, Part 1)
The fleet of choppers ascended from Metro City toward the mountain top. Each carried two riders. The riders, who stood on the chopper skids wearing their snowboards or skis, hung onto a handle mounted outside the chopper fuselage. A black tiltrotor craft known as the S.S. Black Diamond followed from behind.
When they reached the summit, named "The Peak" by tour organizers, the competitors disembarked and rode the short distance toward the starting gate. Nearby, fans cheered and called out their favorites. A few of the competitors waved, while some ignored them as it might disrupt their zen-like trance.
When each competitor was safely in the starting gate, a whistle blew. The pnuematic presses started up, and each gate was lifted several feet above the ground. Here, the competitors would wait in isolation until the gates opened.
The chambers provided protection from the frigid peak winds and a last chance to prepare before the marathon descent. Yet, something about the set-up bothered Kaori Nishidake.
"What is the English word for fear of closed spaces?" she thought.
Secured trick bindings? Check. Wrist guards? Check. She patted the area under her neck. Gaudy "MF" pendant? Check.
She clipped her old pink MComm to her belt and inserted her earbuds. She was a little surprised to hear a beep, followed by a female voice declaring: "You have one unheard message."
"Kaori?" said the voice on the recorded message. "Didn't mean to catch you so soon before the race."
"Mac?" Kaori thought, a little surprised. She looked at the MComm screen. The message had been recorded only a few minutes ago.
The message continued. "Listen, I've done some thinking and... There's a shortcut left of the lumber yard. You go through some tree trunks, then to a tunnel. Not many people know about it. Meet me there. We can talk and ride together, like old times. What do you say? Is it a date?"
Kaori smiled. "It's a date," she said to the voicemail.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
(We join the announce crew at the start gates. A crowd gathered in the stands nearby. One fan waves "Free Nate!" sign, and is soon verbally assaulted by a fan with a "Jail Nate" sign. Another nearby hold one that says "Marry me, Elise!" Yet another waves a placard that says "Fear the sunglasses," an incredibly obscure sign of support for Sid. Scattered fans wave flags from Japan, the USA, Australia, and Canada.)
(One group of shirtless fans press themselves against the barrier. They are all wearing mohawk skullcaps, and each have one letter painted on their belly. Collectively, they spell "P-S-Y-M-N-O.")
(A fan bearing an uncanny resemblance saunters through the crowd. There is some discussion among the spectators whether this is the real Mac or not. An amused couple pose with the Mac cosplayer and have their picture taken.)
(Camera cuts to a ground view. The S.S. Black Diamond hovers just behind the start gates. Luther is sitting on a chair suspended from underneath the tiltrotor by a mechanical pylon. He is manning the camera and filming the establishing footage.)
(GRIFF cues up the graphics that show that they are back from commercial break. Flipping another switch, he cues up his mix, starting with "Twitch" by Bif Naked.)
(VIGGO, EDDIE, and ZOE are seated at the announce table. VIGGO is reading the latest issue of the Zatanna comic while EDDIE is scarfing down a bowl of Lucky Charms. ZOE, who had been polishing the Mega Masher, suddenly frowns.)
ZOE: (grumbling) Geez, why don't you just play Alanis Morrisette, Griff. That music's terrible.
GRIFF: What? I thought you'd be a huge Bif Naked fan.
ZOE: Nah. I friggin' hate Bif Naked. Why does everyone think I like Bif Naked?
VIGGO: (looking up from comic book) By the way, Zoe, where did you get that Mega Masher? That is ultra-suave to the power of infinity.
ZOE: (patting the Mega Masher mechanical arm) Oh, this thing? Don't you remember the goofy prizes they handed out at the Peak 2 event two years ago? Well, I managed to score me this baby. It's practically indispensible when I need to keep Moby in line.
VIGGO: You are so lucky. They gave me a Victorian lampshade. Though, I must say, it was surprisingly aerodynamic. Have you ever ridden down a mountain with a lampshade on your head? Keeps your hair in place and the sun out of your eyes. God, I wish I hadn't sold if off on eBay.
(VIGGO looks off, wistfully.)
ZOE: Mmm-Kay.
EDDIE: At least you got something that cost over twenty cents. All I got was a stupid old paper bag with holes for eyes.
GRIFF: (clearing throat) Guys? We're on.
VIGGO: Oh, crap. W-Welcome back to our broadcast! We are only seconds away from the start of the King of the Mountain, which will crown this year's SSX champion. We're finally joined by our play-by-play commentator, Zoe "The Future" Payne.
ZOE: Yo.
EDDIE: It's been a weird year. It started with the highly controversial move to admit two hundred competitors and to decorate the race with a rock star theme. Then there was the Nate Logan steroid scandal, the disappearances of several riders, the odd circumstances that lead Elise Riggs to be seated number 8...
VIGGO: And don't forget a certain mystery man.
EDDIE: (dismissively) Fine. The, quote unquote, "Unknown Boogeyman" (makes claw marks in the air) ...
VIGGO: (defensively) The "Unknown Rider."
EDDIE: But now the season comes down to this: eight racers in a mad dash to the bottom? Who will walk away with the thrill of victory... and who will suffer the agony of defeat? Who will be crowned ... the next Black Diamond Rock Star?
VIGGO: That was beautiful, Eddie.
EDDIE: Thanks. I just rolled with the moment.
VIGGO: It looks like the countdown's starting.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
3...
2...
1...
On a large projection screen, a poorly drawn doodle of a screaming man popped up, flashing the devil horns with both his hands. From the speakers, the pre-recorded voice of David Lee Roth screamed in a stereotypical hair metal voice: "ROCK ON!"
The lockbolts on the starting gates slid with a bang. The gates swung open. The crowd cheered, some clanking on pots and pans to lift the din to a deafening noise. A string of fireworks launched and popped in rhythmic succession. Their white smoky trails, swept and shaped by an icy breeze, blossomed like white lillies against the clear blue sky.
The snowboarders and the skiiers sprinted forward like a bullet from a chamber, and they arched through the sky like a flock of birds. The ground below seemed to sparkle as several spectators shot their cameras. As the riders landed, they kicked up a fine white powder mist. Small rivulets of loose snow followed the riders as they barreled down the mountain, hunched over tightly to gain speed.
The race was on.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
VIGGO: … and that's why it's my dream to be immortalized in Lego form.
EDDIE: (nodding) Truly a noble pursuit.
ZOE: Tyson Logan has taken the early breakaway, taking advantage of a shortcut that places him 200 meters ahead of the main body of riders. But Elise Riggs is not about to give up, pursuing only about 50 meters behind. At that distance, the blonde skiier can still see him, which is a huge pyschological benefit.
(The cameras show a shot of the racers. They appear to be small black specks as they race between the walls of the canyon.)
VIGGO: (squinting his eyes) I can barely see them. How do you know who's who?
ZOE: They both on skis. Tyson is the smallest of the competitors. And Elise is giving of some serious bimbo vibes.
EDDIE: (annoyed) Hey, Griff. Why don't you fly a little bit closer so it doesn't look like we're following a flea circus?
GRIFF: No can do, Ed-meister. We ge any nearer, the air flow and the vibration from the noise might possibly trigger an avalanche. I can't take that risk.
VIGGO: God, this footage is going to be such a big selling point when we shop our show around to other networks.
EDDIE: Was that sarcasm?
VIGGO: I think so. Us Swedes don't too well with sarcasm.
EDDIE: And another thing... Are you really Swedish? You said you've grown there all your life, but I've never heard you speak the language. Hell, you don't even have an accent. It sounds vaguely Midwestern.
VIGGO: Well, you see, Eddie old chum, that's easily explained. It all started when...
ZOE: Hey, guys, let's get back to the race. Luther, swing around to the back and let's get a shot of the other riders.
(Camera switches to four small black dots. The view is a little more impressive, though, as they each leapt over a ridge and nailed an individual trick.)
ZOE: That looks like Sid, Mac Fraser, and Allegra Sauvagess, followed not too far behind by Psymon Stark.
EDDIE: Yeah. You can spot Pinky from a mile away.
ZOE: The three snowboarders could easily catch up to the breakaway if they worked together and rode in a straight line to cut down air resistance. However, it seems Mac and Sid are involved in a shoving match. Sid threw a haymaker! Looks like Mac ducked out of the way, though. Allegra is trying to push her way between the two men to break it up.
EDDIE: Holy crap. You can see all that?
VIGGO: (turning to Eddie) Hey, Wachowski, I just noticed something. Where's your girlfriend?
EDDIE: Hey, just because we had a little hot tub action doesn't mean…. (suddenly concerned) Wait a minute. You're right. Where is Skye?
VIGGO: Also strangely missing in all of this is Kaori Nishidake. The camera doesn't seem to pick up a trace of her anywhere. Do you think she managed to find a shortcut up there?
ZOE: Maybe. But if she did, Kaori never takes a shortcut without bringing her riding partner. She's always been like that ever since the first tour. Why didn't she bring along Sid? Or even...
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
Kaori skidded to a stop. She looked around her. She had rode off the marked path and onto the shortcut like Mac had asked. It wound around a dense frozen forest and past several boulders. She arrived at an icy cave carved inside a thick glacier.
Mac wasn't here.
"Mac?" Kaori called out.
She was greeted by a low rumbling noise. It was likely the ice cracking and settling. Still, the near silence in a place far from the cheers of the SSX fans unnerved her.
A heavy, blunt object clubbed Kaori between her shoulders.
Kaori fell to the ground, stopping her fall with her hands. She screamed or in surprise than in pain. Two wraithlike figures, clad in alpine fatigues, shambled to either side of her. One held a wooden baseball bat, the very weapon that had taken her down. The other thrust an ether-soaked cloth in her face. Kaori began to lose consciousness.
"Who… who are you?" Kaori groggily demanded.
"Kaori, my dear," a voice said from within the cave. It sounded like Mac.
A man approached slowly, gradually emerging from the cave entrance and revealing himself in the filtered forest light. He wore a dark, featureless suit that covered him from head to toe. It was the Unknown Rider, though now he was not wearing his mask.
Kaori felt like her head jumped into her throat. "YOU!" she finally stammered. Then she collapsed into the snow.
"You've always been important to me, my sweet," he continued. "If it's any consolation, you are the most kawaii bait I have ever laid my eyes on."
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
Allegra backed off a short distance behind Mac and Sid. She sighed. Seeing boys fight wasn't much difference than seeing two male gorillas go at it on the Animal Planet. There was the chest beating, the macho grunting, and the uncanny urge to knock the other guy's block off. It was impossible to stop, yet irresistible to watch.
The worst part was that she had a fairly good idea what they were fighting over.
Sid grabbed Mac's collar. While still racing downhill, he swung Mac around and slammed him against a tree trunk. Mac shrugged off the blow and pushed Sid off. For a while, the two combatants separated as they maneuvered around a maze of tree stumps. The Smipster, though, would not be denied, and seconds later he whacked Mac in the face.
Mac felt his jaw. Nothing was broken. He then charged at Sid and grabbed him by his thick, striped tie. "Yo, what the hell is your problem, man?" he screamed in Sid's face.
"Unhand me, cur," Sid threatened, "or, so I swear, I'll … lick your hand!" Sid stabbed Mac with the handle of his ski poles. "You've had this a long time coming, Fraser," he sneered.
They tumbled through a frozen thicket. Branches, thorns, and icicles lashed at their faces and ripped at their clothes. The ground here was bumpy, and for a while, the two forgot their fight and concentrated on the riding. As they maneuvered between the trees, neither could see each other until they reached the banks of a frozen river.
"Take my woman away from me, will you, you wigger? You don't deserve to live."
In his hand was a large icicle that he'd broken off in the woods. He wound his arm back, ready to strike Mac in the face. As he swung, however, Mac blocked with forearm and shoved Sid on the chest with his other arm. Sid dropped the icicle and temporarily lost control. He was now skiing backwards on the icy riverbed. He unstrapped his ski poles and touched the tip against the ice to balance himself.
"Will you just chill out, you emo freak?" Mac yelled. "How many times do I got to tell you there's nothing between us?"
"Then why did she break up with me because she still had lingering feelings for someone?" Sid demanded.
"She… what?"
Sid took the opportunity to punch Mac in the ribs. Mac retaliated by punching Sid in the mouth. Sid retreated to the opposite side of the river, clutching his mouth. Mac looked at his knuckles, which were now covered in a red smear.
Mac was shocked. He hadn't meant to hit so hard. He was about to apologize until he noticed that the blood wasn't dark or runny. He sniffed at the red smear. It didn't have the familiar iron smell of blood. Instead, it smelled of strawberries.
"What is this, lipstick?" Mac said incredulously. "This isn't even that lip gloss garbage. This is actual lipstick! What the hell, Sid? What the hell?"
"It accents my cheeks!" Sid yelled, lunging at his enemy.
This time, Allegra pushed her way between the two combatants. She blocked Sid's punch and gripped Mac by the shoulder.
"This is just like you, you womanizer," Sid spat. "Hiding behind your hussies."
"Oh, tell me you didn't just say that," she snapped. "You two boys would put your egos aside for just a second. Looks like we got a huge ass problem." She pointed to a spot downhill.
A hundred or so meters below, a masked man looked back. He was seated on a black snowmobile, its motor running. He revved up the engine threateningly. Kaori, sitting on the back of the snowmobile, was slumped over, unconscious.
Mac's blood froze. "KAORI!" he called out. "What have you done to her?"
The Unknown Rider cackled maniacally. He pressed his foot to the pedal, and he drove away.
I know that laugh, thought Mac. He turned to Sid. "I'm going after her," he said sternly.
Sid was stone faced and emotionless, his eyes hidden by his sunglasses. "I'm coming with," he said.
"Truce then?"
"Truce."
"You guys are so cute," Allegra said, slapping the two men on the back. "Count me in. How about you, Psymon?"
The man with the pink Mohawk, who had stopped at a nearby embankment to watch, nodded his head. His eyes seem to sparkle. "It's been a long time since I've knocked heads," he said, "but no Darth Vader rip-off messes with an SSX veteran and gets away with it."
"Then what the hell are we waiting for?" Mac said, leading the charge. "Let's kick his ass!"
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
VIGGO: Folks, I've never seen this before! The Unknown Rider had kidnapped beloved SSX vet, Kaori Nishidake!
EDDIE: Jesus Jones! He exists?
ZOE: Mac, Sid, Allegra, and Psymon are giving chase. The King of the Mountain doesn't matter anymore. They are veering far off the main race path, deeper into the woods. Almost as if he's leading them into … (ZOE suddenly becomes silent.)
VIGGO: Uh, Zoe?
ZOE: (in a state of panic) GRIFF! Close in on 'em! It's a trap!
GRIFF: (worried) What?
ZOE: There are other things moving on the slopes ….
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
The snowmobile was fast, but the competitors were more nimble. While the Unknown Rider kept to a path that was wide enough for his vehicle, the riders squeezed through tight spots between the trees, narrowing the gap.
He looks so determined, Allegra thought as she shot a sideways glance at Mac. But, then again, they have been friends to a long time. She thought about the time they sat in the shadow of the art deco dam yesterday.
"A date," Allegra said, sipping hot coffee from her Thermos.
"A date?" Mac said, surprised.
"And not one of those stupid Pizza Hut ones," Allegra warned. "A real one. Fancy dinner. Monster truck rally. And whatever comes after."
"You like moster truck rallies?" Mac snorted.
"Two tickets," she said. "What do you say? For the price of one date, I'll you the super-duper double-dog secret shortcut. You in?"
"Well, that's… Uh, sure," he said, sounding amused and more than a little relieved. "That does sound … kinda fun."
She snapped out of her reverie when she heard a booming sound. Ahead, trees began to crash left and right. She nimbly leapt over a falling tree and did a handspring to land on to the other side. She joined Mac, who had come to a stop in a wooded valley. A short distance ahead, Sid and Pysmon had also stopped, similarly befuddled.
"What's going on?" asked Mac.
"I was hoping you'd tell me," Allegra responded.
Suddenly, the hills erupted in a shrill chorus of screams. Humanoid figures, camouflaged in white, burst forward from under the snow. They rushed down from the hillsides into the valley like an army possessed.
"Oh, hell!" Psymon screamed in terror. "This is just like my dream… only with less pirates and more unspeakable horror!"
He was the first to go down. Several of the figures surrounded Psymon and knocked him down with bats, rakes, and other heavy garden implements. Sid fought valiantly, knocking the attackers away with his ski poles. Mac got the worst of it. A large group, perhaps ten or twelve, gang up on him and pummel him to the ground.
"Mac!" Allegra yelled, rushing toward him.
An arm grabs her around the neck, pulling her back.
"No reach-arounds, buddy!" she growled as she jabbed her unseen assailant with her elbow.
Her bravado was wasted. Several more hands clawed at her and dragged her to the ground. She grit her teeth in steely resolve. She had not woken up this morning to be killed like a cheap extra in a monster movie.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
EDDIE: Oh my God! The SSX competitors has been attacked ... by KILLER SNOW ZOMBIES!
ZOE: (sighing) Those are not snow zombies.
EDDIE: But they just popped out of the snow and they're going to suck out the brains of all the competitors!
ZOE: Eddie….
EDDIE: I can't explain it either, but for God's sake, we have an Unknown Rider, a snowboarding Sasquatch...
VIGGO: Legend. His name is Northwest Legend.
EDDIE: ... why in the hell can't there be zombies?
ZOE: Look closer, jackass. Don't you recognize them? Those aren't zombies. They're...
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
"The missing SSX snowboarders?" Mac cried in disbelief.
Gordon, a competitor who had ranked once seventh, kicked Mac in the side. "Couldn't you go out with grace and retire? This was our time to shine, man, but you had to hog the spotlight!"
Mac grabbed Gordon's foot and tripped him. He staggered to his feet, but several more former riders jumped on his back. He collapsed to the ground again.
Sid was the last competitor standing. His ski poles had tips that were sharpened to a razor-tipped point. He pointed the poles like they were two swords. Although a half-circle of attackers surrounded him, none were brave enough to tackle him. Pushing his heels outward in an S-shaped move, Sid began to scoot backwards, taking him away from the carnage.
"Sid!" Mac called out. "Help us out here, man!"
Sid looked back, his mouth curling into a sick grin. "There's only room for one hero, Fraser, and it sure as hell isn't you. Sayonara, sucker," he said mockingly, touching his cap and pointing at Mac with his middle and index finger.
He turned his back and skiied away as the army of disgruntled former SSX competitors whaled on Mac, Allegra, and Psymon.