We were having a discussion on fanfictions on a message board, and I remembered I did this one two years ago and never wrapped it up. I'll be honest with you, I wasn't sure I was keeping enough people interested. Episode 5 only got a few hits, and Episode 6 even fewer. But you know what? I've always wanted to finish this story. And now we have SSX Blur to play around with. So without further ado, the next episode of Hardcore SSX!
CHAPTER SEVEN: Hot Dam (King of the Mountain, Part 2)
At the Karma Sushi, the caterpillar roll is7 dollars, but ridicule is free. No one knew this better than Moby Jones.
"Ay," he said, miffed at the laughter in the bar, "what's everyone laughing at?"
Brodi arched his eyebrow. "I'd hate to break it to you, pal," he said, "but that hightop fade really doesn't suit you. What did you do to the dreads? Everyone loved 'em."
"Well, mate," Moby said, pulling up a seat, "I need a change if I want to continue racing in the tournament. And between you and me," he said, pulling up closer to Brodi's ear and lowering his tone, "the dreads is what caused me to get cut from the tournament this year. Got into my eyes and blinded me, it did."
Brodi smirked. "Is that lipstick you're wearing?"
"You noticed!" Moby said proudly. "Sid was telling me that they do wonders for your --hold up there, what's happening on the telly there?"
The cheers of the Karma Sushi patrons had turned into befuddlement and horror as the scene on Big Mountain transformed from a race to chaotic mayhem, as the cameras captured footage of the competitors getting mobbed by an army of angry disqualified athletes.
Yet one thing in particular caught Moby's attention.
"Bloody hell!" he screamed. "What's Zoe doing?"
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
EDDIE: Ladies and gentlemen, this is not to be believed! Our very own Zoe Payne has taken a swan dive off the Osprey, and she's on the snow, beating down the rival competitors with the Mega Masher!
VIGGO: I'm still not seeing how that thing can possibly be an effective weapon. But look at that! It apparently comes equipped with missile launchers.
EDDIE: Those are net launchers, folks! Just enough to mobilize, but not enough to harm. They're like … soft little spiderwebs glistening in the morning dew.
VIGGO: Um, yeah. No need to send in those nasty letters to the broadcast station just yet, viewers.
JP: (off screen) Pfeh. She should just kill them all. She is capable of doing such a thing. They deserve no less for disrupting the glory of the race.
EDDIE: Well, look whose testicles just dropped. Just keep shooting the footage, Nigel you adorable dancing corporate mascot, you!
JP: (irritated) So you were amused by that, eh? Laugh now, cretin. Next year, I shall come back with a new attitude! I will dye my air blue and sport a pencil thin mustache and sneer like a stereotypical Frenchman! Then we shall see who will laugh.
EDDIE: (snorting) Yeah, I'd like to see you try that.
VIGGO: Dammit, Arsenault, you give all Europeans a bad name. But seriously, point the camera at the action or we're all fired.
EDDIE: It looks like the Unknown Rider just rounded the Hot Dam stage! If he goes off track and gets into the woods, the tree cover will make it impossible to track them. DAMN YOU, TREES!
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
Zoe launched a net from the Mega Masher, pinning down the last of the disgruntled competitors.
"You elitist trash!" Jennifer cried out, struggling under the mesh. "We deserved a spot on the main roster! We just proved that you losers are weaksauce!"
"We'll let ski patrol sort that out," Zoe said, waving her metallic fist at them. "For now, in the words of the immortal Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'Why don't you chill out.'" She turned to the fallen competitors. "Are you guys OK?"
Allegra spit some snow out of her mouth. "'Why don't you chill out?'"
"Caught Batman & Robin on TBS last night," Zoe said, shrugging. "Can't get the damn movie out of my head. So sue me."
Psymon looked to be down for the count. Zoe knelt down beside him and sighed. "I'll stay back until he's looked after. In the mean time, someone's gotta track down that Unknown Rider."
Immediately, Mac seemed to have a renewed vigor. He tracked down his snowboard, which had slid several feet down the slope, and hurriedly snapped on his bindings. "Oh God," he cried, "he's got Kaori!"
Allegra blushed.
Mac sounded … passionate. It was a different passion that transcended mere competitiveness. His voice, trembling and urgent, echoed a deeper level of emotion. It was as if someone had revealed to her a secret that everyone on the tour except she knew, and she would have be privy if she had been around longer.
Allegra felt someone's eyes on her. Zoe flashed her an understanding look.
Allegra sighed. Men.
She grabbed her board, which had come to a rest on a nearby tree, and jumped on it.
"Fraser!" she called out. "You're gonna need some backup!"
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
Atop a small hill, the Unknown Rider took a quick glance at his bundle. Kaori was still unconscious. Soon, he thought, they'd be together, and everything would be all right in the end. He focused his binoculars on the vertical monolith known as Hot Dam. He could only spot the trail of one competitor coming down the slopes. A pity. Would those explosives go all to waste?
But wait…. He focused his binoculars slightly up the slope. Two other trails were coming down at an incredible speed. He increased the magnification on his binoculars.
Yes, he'd know that poke bonnet and goggle combination anywhere.
He drew a controller from his jacket. It would only be a matter of seconds now.
Unbeknownst to him, Kaori's eyes opened gingerly.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
A slight snowstorm stirred at this stage, and Sid could barely see the Unknown Rider and Kaori below. They looked like dots. Yet, for some reason, they had stopped. Good. Soon, glory, honor, and Kaori, they would all be his.
Suddenly, he heard a rapidly approaching crunch of snow behind. He risked a look.
Fraser! Sid wanted to scream, but instead he just clenched his teeth. How the hell did he manage to make up the four mile difference in such a short time? He'd never seen anyone achieve that speed! Surely he'd taken a shortcut. But most likely, Sid thought, it was dawdling on his own part. He'd been far too leisurely, the Hare to Mac Fraser's Tortoise.
Yet, at such a crucial moment, it would do no good now to lose one's head. Sid steered his skis wide to the left, and then he turned and steered to the right. He pressed his feet downward and at steep angles, creating deep grooves in the snow. He bore his sticks down, aggravating the snow even more.
Behind, Mac's snowboard began to vibrate, lurching up and lifting in the air for a few seconds before coming down unsteadily as it crossed each new groove. The snow was choppy, a series of small uncertain hills. Mac shifted his body and flailed his arms constantly to keep balance.
"Hey, quit it!" he called out to Sid. "Ride straight or I'm taking a spill!"
"That's the idea!" Sid called back. "I'm tired of you hogging all the spotlight, Fraser! Let's see you jump the dam at less then ideal speed!"
"Dammit!" Mac yelled out. "You JACKASS! This isn't about you!"
Allegra suddenly grabbed Mac from behind. "Get low," she said, crouching down and leading Mac to do the same. "If you hold on, we can use our combined weight to break through the grooves. When we reach the dam, we'll let go and jump."
"Allegra?" Mac said. He looked at the plummet ahead, where the snowy landscape ended at a vast expanse of sky. "You can't get mixed up in this. No use getting both of us killed."
"BS, Fraser," Allegra replied with a mischievous smile. "Unlike you, I've actually made this jump before."
As the two began closing the gap, Sid acknowledged that his attempts to slow them down were, for the most part, a losing battle. He kicked his skis forward and instead focused on making the jump.
Sid reached the edge of Hot Dam, spinning into a Lu Kang Air as he launched into the sky. Allegra and Mac followed soon after, with Allegra pushing off as Mac grabbed the nose of his board while he prayed for a decent landing.
Down below, the Unknown Rider pressed a button on his controller.
And suddenly, Mac felt the ground erupt beneath him as the dam exploded in a cloud of concrete, ice, and frozen water.
As he began his downward trajectory, right behind Sid and into the cloud of debris, Mac could only muster three words: "Oh, hell no."