This is about the end of Hardcore SSX, which I had planned on writing two years ago but which only now I've committed to text. Stay tuned, though… there will be an epilogue.
CHAPTER EIGHT: Snowpocalypse (King of the Mountain, Part 3)
The Unknown Rider focused his binoculars on the collapsing dam. Late last night, he and his small army of angry SSX competitors had lined the dam's concrete walls with several small packages of nitroglycerin. It was a good deal; a benefactor had shipped him nearly a hundred pounds of explosives on condition that the supplier's identity remain a mystery even to himself.
Of course, that's something that a man clad head to toe in an identity-concealing costume would understand.
And the plan worked incredibly well. Hot Dam broke apart with a deafening rumble that sounded like thunder -- ice, snow, and concrete spewing forth in a misty gray cloud. The pursuers vanished in the debris. More importantly, Mac vanished in the debris. The prima donna was a thief. Mac stole his style, his identity, his life. And now, justice was served. Now he, the Unknown Rider, would be the star of SSX, its public face and its greatest champion.
He was so lost in his fantasy that he was caught off guard when a heavy object clubbed him on the back of the head.
Kaori stood over the unconscious Unknown Rider, breathing heavily with a snowboard in her hands. She staggered forward and fell to her knees. She was still feeling week. She turned her gaze toward the crumbling structure, her eyes welling with tears.
"Mac!" she screamed.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
EDDIE: If you're joining us now on our special Hardcore SSX telecast of the King of the Mountain, what you are seeing on screen, ladies and gentlemen, is no television trickery. This is not CG. This ain't no special effects. This ain't the film crew playing a prank on y'all by focusing on a stop motion plate of mashed potatoes. Big Mountain has literally exploded.
VIGGO: We're hovering over the race stage in our modified Osprey helicopter airplane thingamabomer. It looks like we've got a five-alarm avalanche going on downstairs. Already, the snow has obliterated the stands downhill of the Hot Dam stage. Big Mountain residents are survivors, though. There have been many an avalanche at these parts, and homers know what they're doing. The spectators, on the other hand….
EDDIE: …are sure to get their money back. If, you know, they survive. It looks like everyone's doing the smart thing, though, and headed for the hills.
VIGGO: You know, we love to give the Ski Patrol a hard time, but at times like this, you gotta appreciate there's folks out there who are willing to don the embarrassing yellow Gore-tex. They're highly trained for this sort of disaster, like that one winter when Psymon Stark went on a violent drunken rampage.
EDDIE: What? When did this happen?
VIGGO: Crap, I think it was last year.
EDDIE: And I didn't hear about this because…?
VIGGO: I think you were on your own violent rampage at the time. Fortunately, the only thing destroyed were a bunch of arcade machines after you failed to get the high score in Joust.
EDDIE: I did no such … no wait… is that when I punched out David Arquette?
VIGGO: I gotta admit, that was pretty cool.
EDDIE: Heh, serves him right for becoming WCW World Champion. As for the competitors, it looks like Mac Fraser, Allegra Sauvagess, and Sid have all disappeared in the cloud of debris. Do you see anything through the camera lens, JP?
JP: Hah, what do I care what happened to them? They were too stupid to stop at the edge. Let them die, I say!
VIGGO: Dammit, man, you have been a real douchebag since you got out of that mascot costume.
JP: (sneering) What can I say? Finally, my soul feels aflame! But it is nothing you would understand, eh, Swedish Meatball?
GRIFF: (off screen) God, will you children back there stop bickering? We got more important things to do. We've got some survivors down there.
(The camera zoomed in to show twelve spectators who hadn't followed the crowd and instead had climbed up several of the pine trees. The trees were holding for now, but it was only a mater of time before they collaspsed into the river of snow.)
GRIFF: Daddy's going to bring the Osprey in a bit closer. I'm gonna need you guys to man the rope bridge to get those guys to safety.
VIGGO: Right. (turning back to the screen) We're going to be off the air for a short while folks, while we conduct a little search and rescue! If we're lucky, we'll rejoin you all when this is all over.
EDDIE: This is Hardcore SSX, signing off for now! Keep that footage rolling, JP.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. It must've been the adrenaline rush. It was a feeling similar to when he was pulling off a trick. A little different, though. For one, he was being bombarded by all these random hard pellets which may or may not be ice. No problem… he'd navigated this mountain in blizzard conditions before.
Once in a while, there would be large three or four foot chunks headed his way, which forced him to be a little more creative. He twisted his legs to deflect one piece, then spun to avoid another. He was vaguely aware of Allegra nearby, struggling more than him yet managing to hold on her own. Sid, on the other hand, had been unfortunately knocked out by a piece of a tree trunk, and he was tumbling uncontrolled into the snow below.
But quite different, this time, was a strange tunnel vision. The world was collapsing around him, obscuring his vision, yet, oddly, he could see Kaori through everything. It was like a scene straight out of an anime; everything peripheral was surrounded thin grey speed lines, mostly blurry. The center was crystal clear, though, and there was Kaori, the snowmobile, and the Unknown Rider. He saw Kaori club the Rider.
He heard Kaori 's voice.
Being a former DJ, Mac was used to hearing things in his mind. Usually, when his MComm went out, he would mentally remix songs that would sound excellent at the club later that night. Just earlier, before this race devolved into a ridiculous farce, he was working some beats into a Jurassic 5 song.
Yet, illogical as it may seem, he was sure that, over the thunderous din of the avalanche, this was certainly Kaori's voice he was hearing. Calling out to hum.
He also knew she wasn't safe. Kaori hadn't noticed it, but the Rider had gotten up. He was relentless. His mask, which covered his face, made him seem inhuman, robotic. The Unknown Rider grabbed a nearby branch, which was as thick as a baseball bat, and he began to creep toward his captive.
There was no time to spare.
Mac crouched and grabbed the nose of his board. It slammed and skidded on the ground, bouncing up a bit before touching the ground again. This was the first time he'd ever stuck a landing here at Hot Dam.
Not that it ever crossed Mac's mind at that moment. Reflexively, he knelt forward, arms stretch backward, and felt the wind and the snow push him ahead.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
The branch struck Kaori between the shoulders. She collapsed in the powder.
"You little snot," the Unknown Rider said, his voice more muffled than usual. He swung for Kaori's head, but she had enough wits about her to roll aside.
Kaori struggled to her feet, trying to run away. The blow had knocked most of the wind out of her, though, and she lost footing on a slippery patch of ice. She tumbled down the small snowbank into the cluster of frozen bushes below. Her back struck a rock, and she groaned in pain.
As she struggled to untangle herself from the branches, she could hear the snow crunching and the heavy breathing as the Unknown Rider came closer.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
Allegra dug herself out of the snow. It wasn't her best landing, but like her favorite cartoon duck once said, and landing you can walk away from is a good one. She touched her face, and she felt swelling growing around her left eye. Fabulous. Her sponsors weren't going to like this, but whatever.
Screw the sponsors.
SSX was a school of hard knocks, and if you couldn't wear your shiners with pride, then you didn't belong. She crawled over to a body clad in a ripped black sports coat and a black poke bonnet. With a mighty push, she rolled over the body until Sid was face up. She knew this wasn't what you were supposed to do. She'd seen countless TV procedurals where the voice-over always advised that you don't move the body until the paramedics arrive. The guy might have a broken leg … or worse. Still, if he was laying face-down in the snow, he might suffocate to death.
He was breathing. A good sign. Allegra picked up a pair of mirrored shades -- lodged in the snow a few inches away from Sid -- and brushed it off with her fingers. She placed the glasses over his eyes, and, in her best Rowdy "Roddy" Piper impersonation, yelled, "Try these on. Tell me what you see! Is it … aliens?"
Hearing no response, she sat down in the snow. The explosion had settled. Mac was nowhere to be seen; he'd boarded down the slopes at a ridiculous speed. No doubt, he was, in part, being propelled forward by the shockwave. Allegra was sure there were other reasons, though. She drew a flask from her coat pocket, screwed open the top, pressed it to her lips, and tilted her head backward.
"That was a total nerd reference from 'They Live,'" Allegra said to nobody in particular. "It's about aliens walking around in disguise as humans or some crap. Anyway, I think it was an allegory to consumerism. Maybe something along the lines of Reagonomics. I've got a whole these written up right here," she said, tapping her temple.
She took another swig. Then she closed her eyes and pursed her lips to let out a puff of hot air, a long trail of mist that looked like smoke from a cigarette.
"You're a fool to help him," Sid mumbled.
"Good morning to you, too," Allegra said, her eyes still closed.
Sid coughed. "If you didn't push him forward, I could've been the one there, rescuing Kaori. I would be the hero, and you'd get Mac. Then we'd all win. We would all be winners."
Allegra grabbed Sid's wrist. She pried open his fingers, one by one. Then she pressed the flask against his palm.
"Jack Daniels," she said unsteadily. "Not the best whiskey, but it'll warm you up, jackass."
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
Mac skidded to a stop at the parked snowmobile. Neither Kaori nor the Unknown Rider were nearby. There was a trail of footprints leading downhill, though. Mac unbuckled his bindings, threw down his snowboard, and followed the trail on foot.
There were two sets of footprints that led into a heavily wooded area. The boots were weighing him down, and he took them off. He followed the remainder of the trail in his socks.
Mac panicked when he saw red spots staining the otherwise bleach white snow.
"Kaori!" he cried out.
For a while, all he could hear was the muffled rumble of the now distant avalanche. The forest suddenly felt claustrophobic.
And then, he hard a weak voice reply. "Mac? Over here."
Scarcely a few seconds later, he found her.
She was sitting on a tree stump, catching her breath. Other than a small tear on the side of her jacket, she seemed perfectly fine, as if she's taken a short breather after a brisk jog. In between her hands, she held a smooth twenty pound rock.
At her feet was the Unknown Rider, his faceplate bashed open, blood trickling from hi sead. As soon as she caught sight of Mac, she let the rock slip between her fingers, ran, and wrapped her arms around him. Mac felt her body close to his, trembling and incredibly warm.
"You, ah," Mac said, suddenly unsure, "I heard you call for me."
Kaori smiled. "Out of anyone in the world," she said, "I knew you'd be the one who'd be here for me. You're always here for me."
Mac held her tighter, his hands on her back, and stifled a laugh. "We are so stupid," he finally said.
Kaori giggled. "Yes, we are," she replied.
And for the first time, they kissed.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
The Osprey was filled nearly to capacity, yet Griff figured he could at least take two more passengers. Sid had a broken leg. Tyson Logan -- who'd been nearby during the avalanche and had wisely taken shelter in a nearby cave -- put his leg in some makeshift splits.
Allegra wasn't in such a bad shape, though she did look terribly roughed up. She brushed of Viggo's suggestion that she get some painkillers, at least.
"Nothing a stiff drink can't fix," she said, stumbling into the Osprey.
Viggo figured there was something more to it than that. He also knew that no wasn't the time to ask questions if he wanted to keep his lower lip unsplit. He figured it would be much wiser to ask her about it later, preferably over sandwiches.
Despite the ordeal, the ten spectators aboard the Osprey were in remarkably good spirits. One even asked Allegra for her autograph. She cheerfully obliged.
"We got a call from Zoe," Griff said. "Ski Patrol's got all the assailants up the mountain rounded up and in custody. And it looks like Psymon's back to his old, psychotic self again. It looks like it all it takes to become mentally imbalanced nowadays is a two-by-four to the head."
"Heh," Eddie said. "Who knew?"
"So what now?" Viggo said. "We need to get these folks down to Metro City. But what about Kaori and that masked weirdo?"
"Nothing to worry about," Allegra said, sticking her head out the Opsrey's side door. "Unless I miss my guess, that's them just coming over the ridge, looking all cozy."
Mac drove the snowmobile, and Kaori was sitting behind him, hugging him tightly. Behind her, the Unknown Rider was tied up in cargo bungees and slumped over the seat, stomach down. The snowmobile skidded to a halt in front of the tiltrotor.
Allegra regarded the scene with a wry smile. She ran up as Kaori was getting off the snowmobile and put her arm around Kaori's shoulder. "Looks like the swashbucklin' hero arrived just in time," she quipped.
"He always does," Kaori said, smiling back.
"So," Eddie said, approaching the snowmobile, "who's our masked nutjob?"
"Family, unfortunately," Mac said, taking off the mask.
Staring back at them was the bloodied face of Marty Stieber.
.o°ö'O".O'ö°o.
EDDIE: Marty Stieber was arrested earlier today for destruction of public property and possession of illegal explosives. Stieber was thrown off the tour after engaging in something we like to call drunken disorderly conduct. The police have also connected Stieber with a small riot that happened earlier in the race. While the rioters never saw Stieber's face, they did identify him by voice. Some people don't have the good sense to use a vocoder, huh?
VIGGO: You know, partner, something really bugs me about this. Marty won a few races in his lifetime, but he never made much prize money. He was never able to score any endorsement deals. And whatever money he had, he famously blew it all either on alcohol or on really bad bets. Where the hell did he get money to buy enough black market explosives to blow up a concrete dam?
EDDIE: I dunno. Ebay? Whatever the case, Marty is a seriously screwed up individual. He was bad enough when he was a pissy little whiner. Here's a pro-tip for you kids out there: if you're thinking about kidnapping and domestic terrorism, don't do it. Bad. Wrong.
VIGGO: In related news, the avalanche itself stopped short of wiping out Metro City. Several even venues are buried under a meter or two of snow. SSX organizers, in their sheer boundless optimism, actually see this as a good thing.
EDDIE: Yeah, I hear there are plans in the works to transform the new mounds of snow into challenges for next year's events. Capitalism at work!
VIGGO: As for the race itself…
EDDIE: Whoa, are you telling me they didn't suspend the race?
VIGGO: Since when have the suspended SSX over an avalanche?
EDDIE: Oh. Touche.
VIGGO: Anyway, the majority of the racers were either taken out or helping in the rescue efforts. In fact, only two racers actually finished. It looks like they were too far ahead of the field that they had no idea what was going on up the mountain. Second place went to long time SSX veteran and local favorite Elise Riggs. As for first place, and you're going to like this Eddie….
EDDIE: Huh?
VIGGO: Newcomer Skye Simms from Australia, with a full thirty second lead ahead of Riggs. JP, roll the footage from the winner's circle.
(Scene switches to Skye Simms hoisting a trophy. Microphones are thrust into her face.)
SKYE: I'm honestly quite aghast at the terrible things that happened today. I'm glad to hear Nishidake is safe and sound. I'm rather partial to that girl. Compared to seeing her safe, this win is nothing. Still, it feels bloody good to win my first ever race. Eddie Wachowski, love, if you're watching this, I couldn't've done this without you.
(Skye blows a kiss at the camera.)
(The scene goes back to EDDIE and VIGGO at the studio.)
VIGGO: My, my, Eddie… I have to admit, this is the first time I've seen your face get as red as your hair.
EDDIE: Hey, ah, that's…. Um, I guess good job, Skye! That's … wow.
VIGGO: I gotta say… this was one helluva show to go out on.
EDDIE: Hey, I'll drink to that.
VIGGO: Mad props to the viewers out there who've stuck with Hardcore SSX after all this time.
EDDIE: It made me some mad money toward my pizza budget.
VIGGO: It was a pleasure working with you, buddy.
EDDIE: You ain't half bad yourself, Viggo. But all good things must come to an end.
VIGGO: Chaucer?
EDDIE: What? No! Star Trek.
VIGGO: Nerd.