A light breeze is flowing over me; I open my eyes trying to register where I am. Home, bed, Haruka. I remember. I toss the blankets off of my body and wander into the bathroom; I pull a robe from the hanger and wash my face and hands. I follow the hallway to the stairs and make my way to the kitchen. I pull open cupboards and drawers unsure what I'm looking for, but I'm looking. 'Morning.' I hear behind me a raspy sleepy voice. I turn to see Haruka, he looks different.
'Hi.' I say unsure what about him isn't the same.
'I was worried.' He says to me running a hand through his hair.
'Sorry, I woke up and wanted to explore some more.'
'Tea?' he asks.
'Please.' I nod and he grabs a large round object. 'Kettle.' He says to me noticing I'm staring.
'Right.' I say as if I knew all along.
'Have a seat at the table, I'll bring it to you.' He flashes me a smile and I feel my insides melt a little. I nod at him and head for the table. He brings me my tea and a book, inside are photos. 'You just finished this before the accident.' He explains and I look at him, something is defiantly different about him this morning. I stare a little looking him up and down, slowly the realization comes to me.
'You're a girl.' I hear myself, I'm mixed with shock and confusion.
'I am.' Haruka says, her tone is fixed, straight. 'I guess I didn't really tell you that part.'
'I'm sorry. I.' I start but I'm lost for what to say, the photos show me we're a couple, the questions in my mind are still uneasy.
'It's alright.' Haruka frowns softly, I don't like this look.
'I didn't mean for it to sound like that.' I say unsure of what exactly I meant.
'How could it have sounded.' She asks getting up from the table and taking her cup, with mine to the sink. I find myself deep in thought after her words, I'm only brought back when her hand is on my shoulder 'will you be alright then?' she says finishing her sentence.
'Yes fine.' I answer not sure exactly what she means.
'Then I'm going to get some groceries and stop by work. I won't be long. This is the phone, and my number is programmed.' She shows me how to use the phone and what to do if I need her. She also shows me that Setsuna's number is programmed also, just in case. I nod and walk with her to the door. She grabs her keys and is gone in a flash, a feeling takes over me. I'm alone.
I turn the taps of the sink picking up the cups and rinsing them, I have the TV on trying to catch as much of the world as I can. The phone is ringing but I'm to scared to answer it, I hear a voice pick up, it's a machine the voice is Haruka's telling the caller we're not home. I hear a new voice leaving a message, joy is filled as the voice welcomes me home and warns that I not over do it. The name is unfamiliar, Usagi?
I move from the kitchen up the stairs and into my bedroom, pulling on a dress from my closet, I assume it's mine since it fits and feels right. From my bedroom I wander into the music room, or so I was informed. I pick up the violin that was apparently mine, I look it over wondering if I could play. I life the bow and bring it across the strings, a horrible screeching sound fills the room. Alas I can not. I replace the instrument back into it's case and wander to the paintings, mine also I've been told. I linger in this room, letting the feeling of it attempt to jog memories that don't seem to exist. I follow the hall to Hotaru's room, it's a lovely shade of purple, it matches her eyes. I sit on the bed and pick up the photo next to me. A group of people are surrounding the child, I recognize only Hotaru, Haruka and Setsuna. A small girl stands next to Hotaru her hair is vibrant and pink two large buns are pulled aside with her access hair spilling around them. Above her a blond shares the same style, her hair a golden hue. Next to the blond is a man, his hair black and his arm around the two. Haruka stands next to the man, her hand on Hotaru's shoulder, I'm next to Haruka, my arms enfolding with hers, smiles wide on our faces. Behind me stands Setsuna, she's the tallest of the group, her face is nearly blank. Next to me stands a bright girl, shorter hair, tinted blue. Beside her another blond, her hair just as long and her smile is unforgiving, she's full of joy I decide. The last two girls have darker hair, one has her hair pulled back high into a pony tail, next to her, the last girl long black hair and a strange look on her face. I take the picture out of the frame hoping for more information on the back. I'm let down, the back is blank. I take the picture with me as I roam through the rest of the apartment. I'm looking through magazines that are neatly placed on the table in front of the couch when Haruka comes in, she carries bags of groceries and I rush to help her. We bring things into the kitchen and she shows me where everything goes. 'Someone named Usagi called.' I say pointing to the answering machine. Haruka frowns a little and I find that I can't read her at all.
'Did you have a good day?' she asks me and I pull out the picture I took from Hotaru's room.
'Who are these people?' I ask.
'Those are our friends.' She said, she seems unsure about her answer.
'Alright.' I say gently pushing the photo towards her. She takes it with a sigh and begins telling me who everyone is.
'That's Hotaru's best friend, Chibi-usa' she starts pointing to the girl with the pink hair. 'Chibi-usa's family is Mamoru and Usagi.'
'Father and Mother?' I ask.
'Something like that.' She says to me and I don't fully understand.
'Next to you is Ami, Minako, then Makoto and Rei.' She says pointing the each of the girls in the photo.
'So Usagi phoned today.' I say half answering myself.
'So it seems.' Haruka nods. Her temperament has changed and I'm worried.
'Haruka.' I start, unsure of what I plan to say, wishing I knew more about the blond.
'Michiru.' She says to me, the distance between us seems to grow.
'I'm sorry about this morning.' I say my heart full of hope and I don't understand why.
'I'm sorry to. I should have said something.'
'I don't understand how things are and the last thing I want to do is push away the people who care for me.' I say tears beginning to well. 'I can see from every picture that you care for me, please don't be mad.' The tears win their battle with my eyes and begin to escape down my cheeks. Haruka is next to me, her arms around me and I feel safe once more.
'Don't cry.' She says. 'I hate when you cry.'
'I'm sorry.'
'Stop saying your sorry Michiru. You haven't done anything wrong.' She scolds me softly, her arms still around me. I lean into her tucking my head under her chin, I wrap my arms around her waist the way I must have done hundreds of times before, it feels natural. We stay like that for a while relaxing I find myself becoming more aware of myself in her. 'Are you hungry.' She says, pulling me away from her slightly.
'I am.' I say just realizing that I truly am. She lets go of me and heads for the kitchen, I feel cool now without her.
'I don't usually cook.' She announces from the kitchen.
'That means I do?' I ask joining her.
'You did.' She nods pulling some meat out of the fridge. I watch her mouth as she talks and something in me shivers, I like the feeling. 'I'll make your favorite.' She laughs.
'Why is it funny?' I ask
'Because you hate how I make it, and since you don't remember what it tastes like, you might enjoy it.' She explains still laughing, I join her, it's funny. She busies herself in the kitchen making something I find smells wonderful. I sit at the table watching, casually admiring her frame, steeling glances at her as she works. Soon she's at the table setting a plant before me. I look at it, it looks good, I think. I pick up my fork and poke the food raising the bite to my mouth, she is watching me intently. I place the food into my mouth and chew, I like the way it tastes. 'It's good.' I say after swallowing. She laughs again, I like her laugh it calms me. We eat chatting about her day, I find out she's a race car driver, she tells me about her racing. I listen catching each word she gives me and storing it somewhere safe. I help her clear the dishes she sends me into the living room while she washes them. 'That's always my job.' She informs me and I comply. She joins me soon in the living room sitting on the couch across from the chair I've taken. 'Some things are just automatic huh.' She comments.
'What do you mean?' I ask her.
'You sat in that chair, just as you always have before. Not even knowing that you always have before.' She says to me and I blush slightly agreeing some things must be automatic. 'The doctor says that's a good sign that you'll regain your memory.' She adds.
'Will I.' I say. 'What if I don't?'
'Then you don't we start over.'
'And we loose all of the wonderful time we had together.' I said part of me assuming we had wonderful times.
'And those that were not so.' She says to me her eyes dancing over me. I can feel her gaze on me and I enjoy it.
'Tell me.' I say. 'Tell me about us.' I can feel her blushing though I am not looking at her, to embarrassed to make eye contact at my own request.
'What do you want to know?' she asks slowly each word coming out on their own.
'Anything.' I reply too quickly.
'Michiru.' She says almost a question but not quiet.
'Just anything, I want to know. I see the pictures, I see how we are. I see how you look at me.' I pause for a moment. 'Please Haruka. I need to know.' I stand from the chair that is apparently my favorite and make my way to the couch, sitting next to her. She looks at me, her eyes are confused and I can see that. I wonder if there is pain hidden there.
'Alright.' She finally agrees seeing my intent. 'I don't really know how to explain this to you.' She starts obviously searching her mind for the right words. 'All of it might be a bit shocking.' I make myself comfortable looking at her to continue. An hour passes and I'm enthralled, the things she's telling me are unbelievable and I laugh at a comment she has made obviously she's very serious and I cover my mouth. I was a warrior, a soldier defending a world I couldn't remember from an evil that caused me to forget. We had died saving our princess and when we were brought back, I couldn't remember a thing. She explains, she shows me pictures of our lives pictures that had been hidden from me, we're in a strange outfit I'm holding a mirror she's next to me holding a sword. I laugh to myself seeing her in such a short skirt. 'Not my choice.' She says noticing my eyes tracing her in the picture.
'The girls in the picture then.' I muse 'the other senshi.' She nods and I smile, I may not remember them but I'm sure they are kind. Haruka yawns and I frown, it's well into the night and I've been selfishly keeping her. 'We should go to bed.' I suggest, she looks at me and without a word stands and heads for the stairs. I follow. Once in our room, I change into the nightgown I wore the night prior, I'm lying in bed far before she is out of the bathroom, my insides are turning she emerges her hair damp she is again wearing a tank top and boxer shorts and I wonder how I could have missed her feminine figure the night before. She crawls into the bed next to me, instinctively I turn to her, my mind is racing and I long to close the gap between us. She looks at me, I can see the questioning in her deep blue eyes. I lean forward to her, only to have her hands on my shoulders pulling me away. 'Not yet.' She says. 'You're still so confused.' I know what she's saying is for the best as I can see the disappointment in her eyes. I nod slowly in the dark and rest my head on her shoulder wrapping my arms around her. She holds me tight granting me little access. I fall asleep fast, drifting into a dream world I long to remember.