楽しい事や悲しみ事など。。。

By: ジャハ・カノン

Sorry about the wait… again. I just survived a 21-unit semester and well as my older brother's wedding. Crazy times I live in now.

Thank you to digi-writer1392 and Mystical23 for your reviews.

Agh, looking back at the older chapters- I used some pretty bad Japanese. I should've been more careful.

Anyway, without any further wait--

Chapter 16: 言わない事、言えない事

Things that won't be said, things that can't be said.

Koushirou hadn't expected the visitor that came to his house that day. He was on his computer, as usual, using the data he had collected on trips with Ryou to try to learn more about the different worlds. His mother was the one who answered the door.

"Hello there, are you here to see Koushirou?" his mother could be overheard from the door.

"Yes, if he's not too busy." Replied a familiar voice.

'….No way…' thought Koushirou as he continued to stop his work and listen.

"Wait- is that- it couldn't be…" his mother's voice got excited, "little Ichijouji Ken? It's been so long!"

'It is.' Koushirou stood and began making his way to his room door. He had visited Ken's house some weeks ago to talk to him after the Digimon Kaiser was defeated. His parents knew who Koushirou was and they were very puzzled that Ken didn't seem to remember him from years ago. They had a good conversation, nonetheless, but Koushirou wasn't prepared to be visited all of the sudden by Ken.

"Yes, it has been a while," Ken's voice responded, sounding kind of embarrassed. "It's nice to see you again Izumi-san."

Koushirou exited his room in time to see Ken rise from bowing politely to his mother. "Hey Ken" he greeted.

Ken smiled at Koushirou, "Hello Koushirou-san. Are you busy or should I come back at another time?"

"According to the others, I always think I'm busy." Koushirou replied, "come on into my room."

Ken and Koushirou walked into his room. Koushirou allowed Ken to have the computer chair- a gesture he'd aquired to show people visiting him that they had his undivided attention if they had something to talk about. Koushirou sat on the bed and waited for Ken to speak.

Ken smiled sheepishly and looked at the floor.

"I didn't realize before," he said, "that you were my brother's friend. I mean, that you were our friend before all of that happened. I didn't remember for some reason." He looked up to meet Koushirou's eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Koushirou replied, "Ryou-kun and I figured that you probably would have a lot of sorting to do in your mind; a lot of memories to retrieve. How is that going?"

Ken sighed- there was a slight shiver in it. "I think I'm almost done remembering everything and I almost have my thoughts straight again." There was a pause. "How is Ryou-san doing?"

"He's doing fine. You know, he's probably not too busy to join us if you want him to." Koushirou offered.

Ken smiled, "It would be great to see him again."

Koushirou tilted his head and quickly mouthed some words. Then he straightened up and aknowledged Ken's confused expression. "I was using a communicator that Ryou-kun and I obtained in another world that we visited. Usually, we're not supposed to be using other-world technologies, but this is practically invisible, so we decided to do it anyway."

Ken looked carefully. He couldn't even see it.

Koushirou continued to explain, "It's right on my ea- ah, hold on" he listened to the communicator. "He's on his way."

"I want to talk to you about Motomiya and everyone." Ken stated.

"Daisuke-kun-tachi?" Koushirou asked, "What about them?"

"I don't know what to make of them." Ken stated, looking uncomfortable. "Motomiya is really friendly towards me. The others are acting more and more friendly towards me, as well, except Hida-kun, I mean."

"Don't worry about Iori-kun, he'll come around." Koushirou replied softly.

"I don't know, Koushirou-san, I see how Hida-kun acts towards me and I feel like I deserve it. And then I wonder why the others aren't acting like that." Ken gave another shuddering sigh. "I don't deserve their kindness, their friendship, any of that." He looked at Koushirou, who seemed to be thinking over the reply.

Finally he responded:

"If your brother could see you know, I bet he'd wonder how the person he'd always secretly admired for being so kind could possibly feel as though he doesn't deserve kindness in return. And if he could speak to you now, do you know what I think he would say?"

Ken numbly shook his head, wanting the older boy to continue.

"He'd say that he's sorry for making you suffer so much and that you deserve all of the friends and experiences he tried to deprive you of out of jealousy. And" Koushirou's voice shook a little, "he'd say that a life having regrets is a sad one, and that he'd never wish the same on you."

"…niisan." Ken mummered. He was aware that it was Koushirou speaking, but he also knew that the redhead knew and understood his brother better than anyone.

"So," Koushirou continued, speaking for himself again, "you need to reach out to all those things that Osamu-kun was to afraid to reach out to. To start with, the nice people who want to be your friends and teammates."

"But- where do I start?"

"It's almost Christmas, right? Why don't you invite them over? Your mother would love that. Here, I'll teach you a card game I learned once that Osamu-kun was too much of a sore loser to enjoy- you guys will like it. And don't worry, it up to them to decide who deserves to be their friend. Just worry about forgiving yourself and the rest will fall into place, okay?"

Ken smiled as he took the cards that Koushirou handed him while he was talking. "Okay, I'll do my best."

"And Ryou-kun can come out of hiding whenever he wants to and join us."

Before Ken could ask 'huh?' Ryou appeared from a portal above them.

"I didn't want to disturb your talk." Ryou said, "Long time no see, Ken-kun!"

"Definitely." Ken replied with a smile.

"Don't worry about disturbing the conversation, we told you to come, didn't we?" Koushirou replied.

Ryou nodded and turned his attention to the game. "Deal me in?" he asked Koushirou.

Even though Osamu had been gone for years now, it was great the three of them were finally all together again.