'You did.' She is again next to me, helping me to our room. I want so badly to touch her, to thank her for being so kind to me. For loving me. I look at her, begging our eyes to meet, for her to read my thoughts. They don't. She leaves me in the bathroom and I change into my night gown. 'Haruka.' I say stepping into the dim light of the room.
'Mm?' she replies not looking up from her reading. I figure it's now or never, my body can't take much more wanting without reward. 'Do you find me attractive?' I ask wondering where I heard the words, remembering the TV from yesterday. Her eyes stay on her book. 'I do.' she says. I believe I can see her blushing but with the light dim I'm unsure. 'And we're more then just bed fellows.' I ask trying not to sound as nervous as I was, she continued to watch her book rather then me, this aggravated me. 'We are.' she says. I decide to jump; if I can't swim at least I'll sink to the bottom knowing I tried. 'Will you make love to me?' I manage. Her eyes dart from the book to me, and I feel a sense of accomplishment. She has still not answered me when I reach our bed; her face seems frozen in shock. 'Is that a no?' I ask my tone light. She blinks once, then again before answering. 'I don't think it's a good idea.' she manages. I ignore her resting my knees next to her, leaning towards her my mouth so close to hers. 'Do you.' I say. 'You don't think it might help?' she swallows hard searching for an exit.
'I'm not sure.' she replies slipping out of our bed, my mouth just missing her. 'I'm sure.' I offer looking at her. I can see the strain in her face now that I'm closer to the light. She's fighting an inner battle. 'Please' I say, knowing the pain I'm causing her and caring little for it. 'Haruka.' I stand now and join her as she paces around the room, much as I had done just hours before. I take her hand stopping her mid-step. She looks at me, her beautiful navy eyes twinkling with fear and love. 'What could it hurt?' I ask.
'What if it's too soon?' she asks me. I don't have an answer; I look at her my eyes certain, my tone plain. 'I want you to.' I say. She sighs heavy taking me into her arms our mouths finally meeting. Hers is warm and she tastes like tea and honey. she breaks the embrace before I'm ready for her to, she leaves me standing in the middle of our room as she disappears into the bathroom, door closed and locked. 'Haruka.' I call, without an answer I stand for a few more minutes, then return to our bed. Alone. I lay waiting for her, glancing at the clock every so often counting the time she'd been away. Finally she emerges, I try not to move, to let her think I am asleep. She doesn't fall for it, she is kneeling next to me, my hand in hers. 'I'm sorry.' I say to her, the phrase quickly becoming mine alone.
'No. I'm sorry.' she looks at me, the moonlight catching her light hair.
'I'm so lucky.' I say to her. 'I get to discover all of you all over, where you lose the person you loved.' as I say it I realize why she left me.
'You're not lost.' she says to me and I can see she'd been crying.
'I am lost Haruka, but you're helping me.' I try to comfort her. She kisses my hand softly, sending shivers through my body.
'It pains me that I can't make you better.' she breaks down a little, bowing her head away from me, still holding my hand. 'I was supposed to protect you.'
'And now your punish yourself?' I ask, things are becoming much clearer.
'Why should I know such joy, when you are trapped in that hell?' she demands, not really of me, but of the world in general. I smile at her, my free hand lingering in her blond hair. 'Because you are bringing me such joy. I know only four things for certain Haruka.' I say. 'I know that Hotaru loves me, I know that I love Hotaru and I know that I love you and I know that you love me.' she looks at me then, I lean forward taking her lips with my own.
She accepts my mouth, her hands now cupping my face as she deepens the kiss, I feel her tongue against my lips, more shivers attack my body. We stay like that a while, she's tall enough to reach my lips from her place kneeling before me, but her legs get tired and she breaks away from me. She crawls over me to her side of the bed, I turn with her watching her eyes, I can see that she wants me. With both of us now sitting in the bed I lean to her again, my lips feel swollen against hers our kiss becomes less formal and more wanting, my hands move to her waist pulling up her tank top, I seem to be moving on instinct. I brush against her flesh and she moans against my lips, before she takes my hands away from her waist and crawls over me her legs straddling my hips. She gently pushes me so I'm lying down, our lips have yet to part, she lets go of my hands and works at pulling my night gown up and over my head, our lips part for the fabric but resume the kiss as soon as my gown is tossed to the floor. I laugh a little mimicking her kisses, my tongue softly fighting with hers. She moves her mouth away from mine, pressing her lips to my neck, trailing kisses from one side to the other, her tongue teasing my flesh her left arm propping her above me slightly, her right hand caressing my sides, running from my hip to my breast, my skin reacting, my nipples hard, I push my hips into hers and feel her smile against my neck as she continues her soft torture. Her mouth staggers down my neck and to my chest capturing my breast. I can't help my wrap my hands around the sheets in uncomfortable pleasure, she sucks, nipples and plays her tongue against the soft flesh of my breast before she moves her body and her mouth further south. She touches my warmth with her hands first, her mouth soon follows and I find myself blind with lust, ripples of heat waving over me I call out her name and her mouth is on mine again, I can taste myself on her and I take it in. My mind is spinning, my body is hot and damp and tingling. She is holding me tight, my head resting against her chest, she's still clothed. I decide this isn't a good thing, I begin the same sensual assault she had just performed on me, I lift her shirt brushing my lips to the hard flesh that is her abdomen. 'No.' she says her tone is soft and loving. I raise my eyes to her, the sun is starting to peak. 'No?' I ask.
'No.' she says again pulling away from me a little. I ignore her, placing my lips again on her stomach, she moves but I grab her and wordlessly continue my wage. Her voice is louder next .'Michiru.' I sigh and look up at her. 'Why.' I ask, hurt her face is a mixture of emotions.
'Because.' She answers as if I were a child, I pout. And I refuse.
'You don't want me to.' I ask placing my hands against the same skin I'd been kissing.
'I don't need you to.' She says. In the dim light I can see that she's looking away from me. Somewhere in my soul I long to give her the same pleasure she'd just given me. And I again ignore her, pressing my lips to her stomach, pushing her shirt up with my hand and cupping her breast.
'I need to.' I say between kisses. I feel her body tense as I spread my kisses from her stomach to her breast and from there to her neck, I take her lips last softly sucking her bottom before I make my way to her center. I caress, kiss and lick until she is too powerless to stop me, she is the one now clinging to the sheets for support, I feel her body shake with the final wave and I feel good. I crawl back into her arms, tired and happy we fall asleep.