-------------Henny Penny's Folly-----------------
Laying down the sales report for the day, Perry swallowed hard. It wasn't the end of the world, just a Saturday. Sales figures being down were to be expected. No, what would have him really worried were the figures tomorrow afternoon. If they were lower than average then he would be hearing about it from the board on Monday. As it was, he wasn't too sure they wouldn't be calling anyways.
Tomorrow, every store with more than one investor would have an ad in the paper. Sunday was harvest day for the sales department, it was the day they earned their paychecks. Of course, there was a very important thing that tomorrow lacked that today hadn't had either. One thing that really pushed the almost five pounds of paper off the shelves in to people's hands.
Looking out in to his almost deserted newsroom, Perry felt his pulse jump. They had no headlines worth a second glance, let alone enough to gain unusual attention. None of his staff writers had come up with a single eye catching story. To say it was a slow newsday was an understatement.
Checking his watch, Perry felt his blood pressure soar. It was already four, two hours until the deadline for the morning edition. If no one came rushing in to his office before then, he would have to run a puff piece on the Mayor's Ball. And if there was one thing he hated, it was giving free high profile publicity to a politician. No, something had to be done and he was going to make it happen.
Reaching out, he hit the comm button on his phone. "Darlene, get me the daily writing staff, tell them they have thirty minutes to get in here if they value their jobs."
Job done, he sat back, taking a pen with him. Turning it over in his hands, he glanced to his watch to measure their progress. After a minute, the comm button on his phone lit up. Punching it with gusto, he leaned back and smiled. "Perry."
"Sir, I have Lois Lane on the line, she is refusing to come in." Darlene's voice carried a sickly amount of cheer. "Shall I patch her through so you can yell at her?"
"Yes." May be it was time he got a new secretary. A good indication was how sadistic they got towards Lois Lane.
"Chief, I can't come in today." In the background, a great many people could be heard over the speaker around Lois.
Eyes narrowed, Perry stared at the phone. "And just why not?"
"Sorry, Perry, someone's coming out! Gotta go!" The line went dead.
With extra care, Perry hit the end call button and then the comm button. "Darlene, the usual for Lois." A special little present to let her know how displeased he was with her. "That goes double for anyone else who fails to come in."
"Yes, sir." Darlene's voice quivered in almost ecstasy from the order.
Or may be he would keep her.
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The third time his pager went off, Jimmy turned it off completely and put it in his bag. It had been placed on vibrate when he entered the Friends of Superman Fan Club meeting just in case of emergency. But the third time he got a call from the paper was the final straw. It was his day off, if they wanted something from him, they could wait until he was back on their dime. Besides, any sighting of Superman would have the club running with their cameras and that was all he was interested in today.
The FSFC Platinum Membership meeting was held in the Metropolis Golden Spire Cafe the third Saturday of every month, in contention to the regular Tuesday and Thursday evenings. It was the monthly progress report/convention of members who had proven they were dedicated to the premise of the club. Jimmy had long ago earned a place among them, having grand fathered his way through the membership tiers.
On the dias erected by the Golden Spire's staff specifically for their party, a woman with golden curls in her hair and black eyebrows stood grinning at the gathered. She was the special guest, having been saved by Superman from a raging automaton that had escaped the Metropolis armory. "It was great, the best moment of my life."
Applause erupted around the dias, but the back of the room, where Jimmy sat, remained silent. At their table, Jimmy and the four other original members of the club remained unfazed by the enthusiasm. The four tables around them were varied in their general approval, but kept silent as well in deference to the original club. They were the leaders of the various chapters, taking their cues from the organizational leader.
For his part, Jimmy rarely participated beyond his newsboy position required. He was the press agent for the club, having sponsored and written several articles that appeared in the Daily Planet's metro section. As it was, that was almost a full time job in itself. Appearing at every major event to take pictures and notes had swallowed his lunch hour and weekends. One good thing, though, the free food and drinks.
Before he knew it, the woman on the dias had been replaced by a woman he didn't recognize. He turned in question to Michael Bay, the man beside him and founder of the club. Raising his eyebrow, he nodded towards the stage.
Michael slid a paper menu over to Jimmy, pointing to a name on the list. "If you had come to the meeting last night, you would have known."
Jimmy read the name, but it wasn't familiar to him. "Don't start, Mickey, I was busy." He scanned a little further down before giving up, not recognizing any of the people on the list of speakers. "Let me guess, you rounded up every Tom, Dick, and Shelly who's had any contact with Superman in the past week."
"Past month, but again, if you bothered to show up, you would know. As the agent, it is your job to be on these things." Michael nodded politely when a spotlight came on him, the speaker directing attention at him. With a wave of his hand, the light turned back to the stage and the speaker went on. "Jimmy, it is important that you be in on this. The club is going international in a week and you've missed half the important meetings. As one of the founding members, you are a significant player."
"Forgive me if my scope is focused on a much narrower portion. When I joined I didn't intend to become a figure in your world domination schemes." Jimmy hid the comment behind a laugh, but he knew he hit on something when Michael cast a side glance at him. "Relax, Mickey, I understand how important this is to you, and for the most part, I agree. Just don't expect me to be on board with everything that goes down, that's why you have Danny, Sal, and Ritchie."
Michael slid a hand under the table, letting it rest on Jimmy's thigh. "You are important, Jimmy." Keeping the main portion of his attention on the crowd, he watched the younger man out of the corner of his eye.
Closing his eyes, Jimmy leaned back in his chair. This was one of those moments he questioned just how much a story was worth. Slowly, he closed his legs and pushed back from the table. Standing, he put his napkin over his plate and slid the strap of his bag over his shoulder. Around him, the people started to grow quiet, but he kept to himself.
Ignoring their looks, he walked calmly to the door and out of the meeting. The sunlight hurt his eyes, making him blink back tears as he entered the lobby. For a moment he thought something was wrong with his eyes until he realized that the flashes were actually from cameras. Holding up his arm over his face, he glared at the gathered crowd.
"Hey, kid, get out of the way!"
"That's no kid, that's Jimmy Olsen! He's moving in for the scoop!"
The rest of what they were saying was lost in the sudden melee over reporters, photographers, cameramen, and fans all trying to be the first ones through the barricade.
His vision having cleared, Jimmy took in the cordoned off lobby of the Golden Spire Building. Behind large velvet ropes manned by armed security guards were almost a hundred people, each with cameras. For a moment, he was too stunned to move. It wasn't until the doors opened again behind him that he stepped out of the way.
Unfortunately, the person who had come out behind him had other ideas. Grabbing Jimmy by the arm, Michael spun him around. He deliberately tripped up the younger man so he would fall in to his arms. A small smile tugged at his lips over the dazed expression on Jimmy's face.
"Mickey? What are you doing?" Jimmy tried to regain his balance, but the older man dipped him backwards. Out of instinct, he clutched desperately to him.
Face to face, Michael licked his lips. He took in the breathless Jimmy as he leaned forward. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips to Jimmy's.
For a while, all Jimmy felt was the other man's arms around him. The smell of him over powering, he relaxed into the kiss. He started to let it go further until the sound of snapping and whistling brought him out of it. With a quick slap to Michael's back, he let his displeasure known.
Reluctantly, Michael stood erect again, bringing Jimmy with him. All smiles, he tried to retain hold of the younger man's hand, but was disappointed when Jimmy slipped away. He moved to follow, but the doors behind him opened again and the reporters surged forward this time succeeding to get over the velvet rope.
Jimmy took advantage of the chaos to break free and in to the crowd. To keep from standing out, he pulled his camera from his bag. Holding it up, he hit the auto snap and backed out of the lobby and on to the street. The outside was much worse, people were lined up on all the sidewalks for at least five blocks in every direction.
Frowning, Jimmy stepped off the curb and waved for a taxi. He could barely afford it, but there was no getting through that mob. Luckily, people had taken several in coming to the Golden Spire Building, so the curbs were lined with them. He climbed in to the fastest cab to respond and slammed the door shut. "Fifteenth Street Bridge Metro Station."
"God Christ Almighty, what kinda monkey circus they got goin on in there?" Pulling in to the almost empty intersection, the cabby floored it through the red light. "I tell you, I'm glad to be rid of that mess. Thank god you came along."
"You have no idea how glad I was you were there. I swear those people were going to rip me apart." Chuckling, Jimmy felt almost hysterical in his relief. His hands shook a little as he ran one through his hair.
"You don't say." Eying his passenger in the rear view mirror, the cabby smirked. "You got somethin on your lips, pally."
"Huh?" Licking his lips, Jimmy frowned. He could taste the keylime on the coolwhip. He hadn't had any pie, but Michael had. "Sloppy eater as well as a sloppy kisser." Shuddering, he slumped in his seat. So much for his inside take.
Smirking, the cabby refocused his attention to the road. "Girl trouble?"
"Something like that." Luckily, before the cabby could ask further, they had reached the station and Jimmy was handing him the last of his hard earned paycheck. "Keep the change!" Climbing out, he fingered the metro pass keyring on his bag to ensure it was still there. If he had lost it, he would be walking the forty blocks home. With a great sigh of relief, he sat down on the bench waiting for his train to come.
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With a kick, Jimmy slammed the door to his apartment closed. The ride on the subway reminded him why he rarely, if ever, road it. Thanks to the denizens of the half lit, creaky cars, he was now wet, sticky, and smelling like rancid milk. The last was from a baby that had been in the arms of the single mother that sat beside him. All she had done was laugh at him when it happened.
He hoped the baby spitup in her open mouth.
Pulling the strap of his now stained bag over his head, he let it drop to the floor beside him with a sigh of disgust. It was probably a lost cause now. He needed a new one anyways.
Jimmy quickly unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall beside the bag. With a sigh of relief, he stretched. Taking a deep breath, he caught a whiff of the smell of his clothes and gagged. Hand over his mouth, he rushed to the window across the living room. With what felt like a mammoth effort, he pulled the window up from the sill. Once it was free, he took several cleansing breaths.
The honking of horns on the streets below almost made him close it again. It wasn't the best of neighborhoods, but it was good enough to live in. Shaking his head, he turned back to look at his meager apartment. The run down furniture was mostly from street corners and second hand shops. At least it was comfortable.
Kicking off his shoes, he aimed them for the door. As they crashed to the floor, the neighbor below his apartment bangged on his ceiling. To piss him off, Jimmy bounced three time in his sock covered feet. "Every day it's the same thing."
He was heading for the fridge to see what kind of soda he had when he caught sight of the message light flashing on his answering machine. There were over thirty messages on the machine. Frowning, it took him a moment to realize what it was about. The memory caused him to hit the delete button repeatedly until he heard the machine squeal. It's screech was very pleasant to his ears.
The ringing of the phone startled him for a moment and he started to look at the machine as if it might attack him. By the time he came to his senses and back to reality, the phone had rang twice and the machine picked up. Jimmy reached out to shut it off and unplug the entire set up when a very familiar voice came over the speaker.
"Jimmy, I know you're there! Young man, I suggest if you really care about your job, you pick up right this instant and explain just what the hell you think you are doing."
It was the wrong thing to say.
With a cry, he slammed his fist down on top of the machine. The next moment, his eyes shot open wide, then narrowed, and started to water from the pain. "Son of a bitch!" Dancing around, clutching his injured appendage, Jimmy groaned. It wasn't the smartest thing in the world to do, but at the moment it made him feel some what satisfied. The only thing that could have been better would have been to hit the chief in person. Then again, he still liked his job enough to want to keep it.
While he was shaking out the pain in his hand, a knock echoed through out his apartment. At first, he looked to his door, but it hadn't sounded right. A cleared throat drew his attention to the window. Favoring his sore hand, he walked over to it and drew back the curtain. He was only a little surprised to find the man of steel floating outside. "What do you want?"
Looking down, Superman saw that his presense hadn't gone unnoticed. Frowning, he leaned in closer to the window. "Can we discuss this inside your apartment?"
"Discuss what? Has something happened?" Quickly alarmed, Jimmy stepped back from the window to let Superman in. He held back the curtain to allow him easier access to the room.
Climbing through the window, Superman put his feet in first. Sliding through the rest of the way, he sat down on the window sill. He took a moment to scan the room and orient himself before he focused on Jimmy. "I came to find out why you left so suddenly back there."
Snorting, Jimmy turned away. "It was nothing."
"I saw you kissing him, it didn't look like nothing." Crossing his arms, Superman stood up. Unconscious of his actions, he moved closer to the younger man. "Do you want to tell me what..."
"No, I don't. And frankly, it's none of your business." Glancing over his shoulder, Jimmy caught the concern in Superman's expression and froze. "What do you want from me?"
"I want to know what is going on with you, Jimmy. You've been distant lately and now I see you making out with the head of my fan club. What has gotten in to you?" Voice rising in pitch, Superman uncrossed his arms.
"Making out with him? I can't stand the guy!" Incredulous, Jimmy scoffed before looking to the window. "I think you need to leave now."
"I think I should stay. There is obviously more to this than you are letting on." Superman side stepped until he came in to Jimmy's view again. "If you weren't making out with him, how do you kiss the poeple you like?" He winced after he finished speaking, realizing just exactly how he sounded.
"You're not Kryptonian, you're a bat! He kissed me, I had no part in it! And why the hell am I defending myself to you over this? We don't have a relationship, a few quick thrills and a hug on a bridge, that's all!" Livid, Jimmy ripped the curtain off the window. With as much effort as he could muster, he threw it out on to the street below. "Get out!"
"Jimmy," Superman tried, but found his cape being dragged to the window.
"Now, I mean it!" Jimmy refused to meet the alien's eyes as he walked over to the window. He waited until he heard the tell tale sonic boom before he slammed it shut. A minute later, Jimmy heard an electronic beap of a button being pressed, then a dial tone. It took him some time to process what it meant. When it dawned him, he looked at the phone in horror.
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Staring at the phone stunned, Perry set his half chewed cigar down on his ash tray. He took a moment to clear his throat and compose himself before looking up at the two women in front of him. For a time, he was at a loss for words. Nothing in all his years of journalism had prepared him for this. Then again, nothing had prepared him for a queer alien that flew around in a leotard and wore his underwear on the outside of his uniform.
Rubbing a hand over his chin, he sat back in his chair. The squeal of it reminded him he had to call in the maintenence people to have it oiled again. "What have we here is a very interesting situation, Ladies."
"Actually, Chief, what this means is I have all the evidence I need." Hitting the rewind button on her recorder, Lois turned up the volume. When the tape had gone back a few minutes, she hit the play button.
"...this inside your apartment?"
"Discuss what?"
She clicked the buttons, turning it off. "The sound is a little grainy, but it will hold up in court for a libel case." Pushing off the file the contents of her purse, which she had scattered in her rush to get the recorder out of it, she picked it up off Perry's desk. Opening it, she tossed it down to land on the blotter in front of him. "With these pictures from today and yesterday, there is more than enough proof to cooberate my story."
"What story might that be?" Already, Perry knew the headlines were forming behind Lois' eyes.
"The gay love triangle, of course." Pushing aside her purse with her hip, Lois settled on the corner of his desk. A smirk lit her features. "You wanted juicy scandles, nothing sells a paper faster than something about superman on the front cover."
"You can't be serious." Speaking up for the first time, Kat snorted at Lois' nod. "Please, this is paper thin to say the least. We print this and we might as well start producing doctored photos of crop circles next." At the looks Perry and Lois gave her, she crossed her arms and took an affronted stance. "Please, everyone knows that you had better have some pretty damn hard evidence before you start slinging mud at the flying boy wonder. At least if you wish to keep your job, that is." Leaning over the desk, Kat tapped the photos. "Nothing sinks a paper's circulation faster than a false scandle."
"She has a point, Lois." Turning the photos so he could get a better look, Perry cocked his head to the side. "All you have are a few sketch shots of the two of them hugging on a bridge and a man kissing Jimmy. While I admit, that looks like one hell of a kiss, the other one just doesn't wash. Thousands of people hug Superman every week, one hug does not a lover make."
Pushing aside the photo he was looking at, Lois pulled one from the bottom of the stack and set it on top. Picking up the magnifying glass from beside her thigh, she set it down over the picture's upper right corner. "Take a look at that and tell me what you see."
"It's a picture of Jimmy and this other guy." Raising his eyes, Perry looked Lois in question. "This is just like all the rest."
"Wrong. Check the space just above their shoulders. More specifically, the men in the background." While Perry picked up the magnifying glass, Lois sat up and dusted her nails. "Most people were focused on Superman entering the lobby. He was preceeded by a small entourage, so they missed this little shot. Happily, my camera girl is a pervert and just happened to be focused on the liplock. She caught the entire thing on camera. Including superman's reaction." Flicking some dust off her shirt, she grinned. "My he does look pissed, doesn't he."
"What's the matter, Lois, jealous?" The glint in the other woman's eyes made Kat's smirk grow three sizes. Picking up a couple of the kiss photos, Kat pretended to examine them. "Such a shame, you've been pining away for him all these months. Did he notice, nope. All those articles, the fan letters, calling his name every time you saw him. Why, you practically threw yourself at him, and yet he still rejected you." Holding up one where Superman and Jimmy were hugging on the bridge, she held it for Lois. "Now we know why."
Snatching the photo from Kat, Lois threw it on Perry's desk. "Oh, give it up, you were lusting after him too! The words dog in heat comes to mind."
"Poor Lois, forever a wall flower, alone and shriveled, you'll die alone." She patted the other woman on the cheek.
"Ladies!" Perry didn't bother to look up, he knew they were still glaring at each other. The photo was way more interesting.
"I suppose." Sighing dramatically, Lois looked away as if upset. "If Superman prefers Jimmy, it's still better than him sleeping with you. That would ruin any man's reputation."
"A bad reputation is still better than the crabs he would get from you! Don't try the innocent act with me, Lois, we've all seen you scratching like a baseball player at the board room table." Kat caught the stapler Lois threw at her then returned it twice as hard.
Lois started to reach for the pencil holder as she ducked the stapler, but found it pulled from her reach. "Perry!"
"Enough!" Rising from his chair, Perry slammed both his hands on his desk hard enough to cause it to vibrate. "I've had it up to here with your bitchy, bigoted attitudes! The two of you can either cut the shit or you can get the hell out of my office! On second thought, do the latter anyways!" Pointing at his office door, he nearly strained his arm from the force of the move. "Lois, write the damned story, but you had better make sure you double check all your facts. Star reporter or not, you get us sued and you're out on your ass! Kat, get this other man's story. Now don't let the door hit you on the way out!"
With a huff, Lois stalked by Kat to the door. In the exit, she stuck out her tongue and shuffled off.
Staring at Perry for a moment, Kat snorted. Walking out, she slammed the door shut.
With a guttural sigh of relief, Perry sagged back in to his chair. Before he could calm his racing heart, the door to his office thumped as the outline of a woman slid down the glass. From the short black hair, he knew who had lost the fight. He checked his watch and shook his head. Lois used to last longer than that.
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Perverted Sexual Predator Taunts Superman by Lois Lane
Shocked does not begin to explain my reaction to the lover's tiff I overheard between Superman and the Daily Planet's own James Olsen. Unfortunately, the rumors do seem to be substantiated. Not only was an argument recorded, but recent photos have shown the two in a close embrace on the cities bridge. James Olsen has been seen, and photographed, several times in an unseemly, intimate position with Metropolis' Resident Alien.
These facts lead one to wonder if the photographer had been receiving and publishing, off the record exclusive information. Were the photos not the result of good work, but instead, a product of obsession and stalking? Worse yet, in this reporter's opinion, did the alien pose for these shots? Perhaps they were gifts that the young man used without consent?
Now that Olsen has gotten the fame he wants from the Caped Crusader, did he push him to the wayside, anxious to suffocate the president of Superman's fan club by tongue? Was this stunt a play for more fame or a cruel attempt to destroy another man's heart?
Olsen, you say you weren't making out with him? That he kissed you? Really, stop denying it, you were caught on film and tape! It would seem like the only way you can achieve sexual gratification is by the forced humiliation of another man. Are you that desperate for fame? Why don't you try working for it, instead of making the world witness to your perverse lifestyle!