Thanks for the lovely reviews, I miss the good old T/O moments and fear for what is going to come, spoilers have broken my shipper´s heart so, I am trying to cheer me up in case the rumours are true..we will always have the good old moments and fanfics...hope you like it...sorry, English is not my first language so, sorry in advance in case there are mistakes.

Adrift

Owen looked at Gwen, he still had problems understanding that woman. He has sleeped with her in the past and worked together with her for more than a year but he just did not see the point in getting so angry and obsessed with something that was beyong their scope and responsibility. Jack had acted weird but he was right, that was not their fault and there was nothing they could do. The people swallowed by the rift were goners, it was bad luck but not their job to find them or to stop the rift from taking them. Besides, if Tosh said it was impossible to predict where the rift was going to have its next human victim, then it was impossible to stop it, she was never wrong. Owen looked at Tosh, she was sad but was a rational person, not controlled by her passions and therefore, she knew that Jack was right and that Gwen was just trying to catch stars with her bare hands.

- "I am with Jack"- He was unable to look at Gwen or Tosh when he left the room. He hated to team up with Jack and leave the girls alone, but he knew it was useless to keep working on that. As he had said, he had learnt to accept things, although he hated the feeling. He wished he was alive every second, for all the small things he used to love and had lost, for all the possibilities he would never be able to explore. He wished he was alive to eat, to drink, to sleep...to kiss and feel the warmth of skin under his hands, and to heal all the open wounds he had. His un-life was torture but he was not defeated or obsessed, while Gwen looked shocked and furious. He heard the sound of Tosh´s heels behind him. He waited for her. He wanted to talk to her about all this but she just moved by his side, not daring to look him in the eyes. She was ashamed of herself for not fighting as hard as Gwen had done for their "little secret project". The two of them working together, that was weird. Owen saw her walking fast, towards her computer. Gwen and Tosh had never been what you could call "friends" or "close". Gwen usually talked with Jack and Tosh had lways confided in him. He was her secret-keeper. Weeks ago, he had promised to tell her everything, to be open with her, and now it was her, Toshiko Sato, who was keeping things from him. Honestly, Owen was not sure of how he felt about that.

-"Tosh" -He started, moving closer to her. She did not move at all- "Tosh, come on, talk to me."

-"Owen, I am busy, I am not in the mood right now"- She answered-"I need to finish this file".

-"Well, you could have finished that ages ago if you hadn´t been playing secrets with Gwen"- Owen replied

- "It was not a game!" -She turned around- "She is right, this thing is related to us, we are the only ones that know what is happening, we are here to protect people."

-"And that is what we do" -Owen sat down by her side- "I honestly don´t know why you join Torchwood, you were already here when Jack convinced me to be a part of this freak show, and you have never talked about that, but I wanted to save people, and sometimes we do. I know it is hard, but we cannot win all the battles and we have to learn to live with that. Take this piece of advice for the dearly departed"

- "Owen, I know you and Jack are right, I just wished...I wished I could have done more for Gwen, she feels so strongly about this, and she is right too"- Tosh closed her eyes frustrated.

- "If wishes were horses...I wish I could have a heartbeat, or blood circulation"- Owen shrugged- "or a sex life for that matter"

-"Lots of women in Cardiff share that wish"- Tosh laughed.

-"I am a changed man, Tosh"- Owen winked, she didn´t seemed to be convinced so he added-"But you know me, I would hate to disappoint anyone..."

-"I understand why you were angry when Gwen and I started to talk about the missing people and the rift" -Tosh lowered her gaze.

-"Really?"

-"You were thinking of Diane"- Tosh was unable to look at him.

-"Oh! Diane..."-Owen had to admit that her face had definitely crossed his mind while he was in the meeting room, but that was not the reason he was angry.- "Tosh, I thought we agreed to have no more secrets between us, but apparently it was just my secrets, I have to tell you all my stuff, but you can keep yours."

-"I was not keeping anything from you, Owen, I knew Gwen was going to tell you all, so I gave her time to make up her mind. Besides, it was not important, I mean, it is, but not as much as the things you were feeling back then. Everything that you are going through, that is important, at least to me."- Tosh looked at him and Owen felt again that weird thing in his gut. He was dead, his heart was not working and still, that woman was able to confuse him, to make him wonder if it was possible to fall in love without a heartbeat. He couldn´t take that risk, for her as well as for him. Pain was the only thing they would achieve if he continued that path. She loved him, he knew it and he was finally learning to accept it, to cherish it, to feel strongly about her. Not just because things had changed but because the changes had shown him what had always been there. She was a strong, intelligent, caring woman, an attractive creature that was ready to love him notwithstanding all his flaws, including being dead and all.

-"No more secrets"- Was all Owen said before going to the autopsy bay. Scared of looking into her eyes. He needed to escape for a while from his feelings for her.

-"Okay"- She promised. Deep inside she was promising something else, but he was terrified of that and she knew it.