Chapter 31
It was hard to tell how angry Lily actually was, fury was etched into each line of her face, yet James could tell there was also hurt, betrayal and regret mingled in there as well. As he stood backed up against a wall and genuinely scared, James Potter furiously dug around his robes for his wand and in his haste, his outer garments fell to the floor, leaving only a white inner layer. As Lily breathed heavily in and out, staring at him but not moving, James was almost concerned for her…she looked deeply perplexed, something had happened to do this to her. He would find out what it was, and find out the person who did this to her. To freak Lily Evans out like this was certainly not an easy thing to do.
"Lils – what happened to you?" He calmed his racing heart and noticed thankfully that her grip on his neck loosened. She was on the verge of tears, struggling with something inside of her, something clearly causing her much distress.
Lily cursed herself at being so weak, she could not hurt him, as much as her mind cried proceed, to hurt the hazel-eyed menace that she had hated for so long…her heart stopped her. Her heart had experienced so much trauma already associated with James and yet it did not let her to cry out the hex. Not long before, she would have had no hesitation in hexing James Potter into another dimension…but now, the memories of how he had risked his life to save him, his majestic form in the stag flooded her mind. Such beautiful memories tugged at her heartstrings. As she lowered her wand from his heart ever so slightly, her anger had not left.
"Don't you dare pretend you don't know what happened Potter…I will never forgive you" Her insides were being gnawed away by conflict, the sickening images of last night contrasted with Potter's noble and courageous deeds, which was the real him? Lily felt almost as if she did not know him well at all, why had things changed so dramatically in their 7th year?
James saw the angry splotches appear on her face and slowly but surely, bitter tears flowed down her cheeks…what had caused her to be so upset, if he didn't know better the way she was treating him, he would have thought it was something he did! Sure, he had caused many of her traumas before, when he 'accidentally' set fire to her robes, when he had spiked her Pumpkin juice with a potion that turned her hair pink for a month but this! Lily Evans seemed to be suffering extensively…James had never seen her like this, so angry and so hurt. He hated seeing her like this, he wanted to always be there for her…but no, she, Lily Evans would never need him there. The person to look after her, to love her would not be him…she would never let him.
"Why're you doing this to me Potter, why can't we just go back to what we were…?" she whispered softly, her arm bearing the wand now completely by her side. She bent down her head, "I can't bear to hex you Potter…but from now on, we're finished. No jokes Potter…we are no more" she whispered in a deathly silence so that James could barely hear what she said.
"No…Evans, tell me, talk to me, I have no idea what you're going on about!" He pleaded with her.
"If you're a man Potter, you would admit doing…what you did. You have the guts to do it then you must have the guts to take responsibility for it" Lily did not bother trying to cover her tears…they flowed freely and as she turned away from him, James felt as if he was going to lose her forever, if he let her go like this, he would never be able to go near her again. She obviously thought he had done something, something to hurt her…but he hadn't! And he needed to prove his innocence, but that was not going to be easy.
Lily sighed in defeat, James Potter certainly knew how to get to her, even she had no idea that catching him in the deed with Missy would cause her so much heartache. But ever since the beginning of the year, seeing them after the train trip had caused her discomfort, but this was certainly an overreaction. Yet she couldn't help it…there was something wrong with her, surely.
She was just about to walk away, leaving James Potter stunned back at the wall when he burst out "EVANS…listen to me, I didn't do it, whatever you think I did, I swear. I don't know what you saw or heard but I would never do anything to hurt you" Lily did not turn back.
"I've heard your excuses too many times Potter…I don't think I can let myself be tricked another time. I don't think I'll ever come to forgiving you" she said sadly.
James tried to rip himself off the wall, but found that he was caught on a splinter and as he pulled away, the white shirt covering his chest was torn, exposing his naked chest. The ripping noise made Lily turn around and what she saw caused her to be completely stunned, it caused her eyes to widen, to gasp in shock. It made her rethink her accusations towards James…it made her rethink towards last night's horrific episode.
James stood still, wondering what on earth the red-headed Lily Evans could be upto now. He took confusion at her shocked expression, and as she began to splutter, furrowing her eyebrows together at what was clearly a revelation…he smiled, she had always been the best one to confuse him, with her mood swings.
Lily goggled at James's chest, why didn't she realize it before? James's healing wounds had left large and rather nasty looking scars, a particularly nasty one diagonally across his chest, and the gash he received from fighting the werewolf on the side was healed nicely. Other cuts and bruises made themselves known also…yet recalling last night, as Missy had scratched off his garments…Lily remembered, under the light, his chest had been bare. She remembered distinctly as she recalled his sweaty form…but what did this mean? Was she only trying to fool herself to ease her pain…her mind felt as if it was going to explode.
In an attempt to leave the Common Room but the Fat Lady having received charming instructions from Sirius Black, Lily Evans crashed into the back of the painting and promptly slumped onto the floor when the Fat Lady apologized saying she just can't refuse a charming young man's request.
"Oh Miss. Evans…just a few more hours in there with Mr. Potter, it won't be so bad, by then I'm sure all your problems will have worked out" She said amused. Young people were always like this, they turned the pettiest things into the biggest dramatic scene.
Lily placed her head on her arms which lay on her knees curled upto her body, she just needed to be alone to think…to ponder over everything that had happened. To discover what was wrong with her, and to fix it. She did not notice that with a plod, James Potter rested his body next to hers, taking the same position as her.
"Can you tell me what happened, Tiger? Maybe we can work this out together" James spoke softly and laid a gentle hand on her arm, he needed to take things slowly, they needed to work everything out together, so many things needed them to cooperate.
As she looked up into his carefree eyes hidden behind his frames, Lily Evans was at a loss for words…how could she trust this man in front of her when all he had been was an immature prankster with no aspirations? As she fell further into the hazel pools of his eyes, Lily found she could not look away, his gaze was mesmerizing her and drying her tears, everything was too confusing to comprehend. Sometimes she felt James Potter understood her and would risk everything for her yet other times, she felt as if his infatuation with her was purely physical, something that was not special. She had always felt that James Potter only claimed to love her because she wouldn't bow to him at will, but now, there was something stirring inside of her, could she have been wrong to judge him?
Almost as if she was caught in a trance, Lily opened her mouth "Last night, Potter…" she hastily broke off their eye contact and squeezed her eyes shut as the painful memories rolled back into her mind like the plague. Her voice suddenly turning hoarse, Lily found she could not continue…as she concentrated on the scars visible on his chest, she made up her mind in a split second, last night's James Potter had been an imposter, for what reason or who did it she did not know. But her instincts told her that the real James Potter, the one sitting in front of him would not fake the incident…he would be courageous enough to admit to something if he did it.
With those thoughts, Lily managed a weak smile "I'm sorry Potter…I've just been having some tough time, I don't even know why, but I'm not angry at you anymore! Let's just leave those nasty incidents in the past"
The tension between the two teenagers seemed to have miraculously lifted, after a few moments silence, James had returned back to his quirky self "I always knew you weren't the best anger manager…besides that's why I like you, your spontaneous mood swings and abrupt emotional…dysfunctions have always made you stand out"
His words somehow warmed Lily's insides, she didn't know if he was just saying them to make her feel flattered, but there was sincerity in them that she couldn't place…what she knew that after this incident, the simple nemesis relationship they shared no longer existed. Something much more complicated had arisen, their relationship was going into murky waters…and this uncertainty made Lily cringe, because Lily Evans hated uncertainty to hang over her life.
"I don't know what Dumbledore's playing at, arranging Slughorn to devise some Love Potion plan…and what he said! I don't think we should believe a single word. I've know you since the beginning of Hogwarts Evans…and I know you wouldn't ever fall in love with me" James glanced down at her nervously and forced a laugh. Secretly, he wanted Lily to deny his words, to tell him that he was wrong…that Dumbledore had been right about everything, but of course, she being Lily Evans –
"Yeah Professor Dumbledore's words are completely ludicrous, the Love Potion…something must have just glitched" Although she said it confidently, Lily felt that even she was starting to doubt those words, her mind at a complete loss to her current situation, she sighed and decided the best way to meet her problems was avoiding them…yes she would sleep them off. Then, she would confront them much later.
As Lily and James sat in a somewhat awkward silence, trapped in the common room, both were unsure of how to communicate with each other…their minds racing to everything that had happened in what had been a hectic year, both realized that possibly, these string of events were only a beginning. A beginning to something magical.
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"Halloween Ball 2 days man!" the whole school was buzzing with the excitement of something big that was coming up. The air was thick with anticipation, matching that of just before a crucial Quidditch match yet this time, without any House rivalry. Aeroplane notes were zooming everywhere, some asking others to the Ball, one read
Dearest Helen,
I would kill to take you to the Ball…I really would. Meet me 11 tonight at the Astronomy Tower for more information.
Signed,
Your Yellow Tulip [you know who I am
"Wow these are almost scary! I would be completely creeped out if I was Helen" Sirius jeered at the note that Peter had found on the floor. As The Marauders strolled down the Hallway, many eager groups of girls turned their heads and self consciously fixed up their outer appearances, but only Peter goggled unashamedly at some of the more…revealing ones. After news had gotten out that Sirius and Brittany had taken some time out to cool off, it was as if Christmas had come early, Sirius Black could now be sought after again. Of course, during his brief relationship with Brittany, some girls had tried flirting with him, but 2 landed in the Hospital Wing while the other…well the other was too embarrassed to show her face ever again. After some nasty incidents, most girls learned that Brittany Davies was not the one to be messed with…especially when it came to Sirius Black.
However, most of the school was still suspicious to their strange relationship, but as Brittany began associating herself again with other guys and vice versa, the two were beginning to enjoy the single life again. "So Prongs, Moony…it's Ball time and all of us are dateless, it's a sad day for the Marauders" Sirius flicked his hair back, ignoring the sighs that floated around him.
"Hurry up Peter!" Remus yelled behind him as he noticed Peter was goggling at a 6th year blonde's rather large bust who seemed not to notice, but stared at disdain towards Peter's drooling.
"You know how it is Padfoot, I can basically say that I've got women sorted, except for Evans" James grimaced "And unfortunately, she's the only one I want to go with to the Ball"
"What the hell's wrong with you Prongs? You've been moping around for the past week saying how you don't think Evans could ever love you…how you were doomed. What happened anyway after I locked you guys in the Common Room?" Sirius chuckled "It's for your own good, man…I knew you'd go rushing up there if something happened to Poms"
"Yeah, good one Padfoot, you know I'll get you back for that one right" James slapped him hard on the back, but it was a friendly gesture and an empty threat…well, Sirius was hoping anyway.
"And Moony my man! It's full moon the night of the Halloween dance…let's do some party man" Sirius lowered his voice just so that James and Remus could hear, with Peter trotting along behind them with his stumpy legs.
Remus shifted uneasily on his feet…the dance was approaching and he had been disturbed by this for the past weeks, he knew it was probably the last chance he would have with Eva…to tell her that he did not deserve her and that he would only hurt her. She would understand that it was for her own good, falling in love with a werewolf would only bring endless heartache and sorrow.
"Anyway, so what's happening anyway between you and Lily?" Remus shoved his thoughts aside and concentrated on James.
"Yeah" agreed Sirius who was eyeing 2 brunette Ravenclaws who winked at him and licked their lips giggling like maniacs to each other. "You've been so secretive about her Prongs…hey do you reckon I can get one of them tonight?" Sirius who was clearly distracted was left behind as Remus and James strolled ahead, shaking their heads in disgust.
"I think something happened to her Moony, she's always so depressed these days, can't meet my eyes, avoids me in the Common Room. In fact over the past couple of days I don't think I've ever seen her"
"Tough break…perhaps she's confused about Dumbledore's words as well, or maybe something more sinister occurred. Well I've got a free period, catch you later, try to take it easy…" Remus, muttering something else about the indivisibility cloak having disappeared, strolled towards the Library, his hands buried under books.
James sighed as he approached the Dungeons for his Potions lesson, this was soon turning out to be the worst year at Hogwarts, and Potions was starting to become one of his most disliked classes. He quickly slid into his usual seat at the back hoping he could just take a small snooze there without anyone noticing…but luck was against him –
"Ah Mr. Potter" Slughorn acknowledging him with a beaming smile and rather red cheeks "I'm happy to tell you and Lily that you have achieved top marks with the Love Potion, excellent measurements of all the ingredients and you even remembered to add a dash of newt powder! Well done to the both of you"
The Slytherins on the other side of the room burst out in outrage and as James smirked, he was not surprised to see Snape blubbering with fury, his pale face even ghostlier than usual as he sneered at James.
"That will be my final verdict" As Slughorn tried to hush his class he bent down to shake Lily's hand "If only you were a Slytherin Lily…you're a born potion maker, just like me!" he whispered down at her, causing her to blush a little.
Lily dared not meet James's eyes, in fact, learning that she and him had earned top marks for the Love Potion had not made her as gleeful as good marks usually would have. She could picture his arrogant smirk, she could even feel his eyes boring into the back of her head…Lily gnashed her teeth, no matter how hard she tried the last few days her mind was clogged up with rather unwanted images of James Potter.
"Well class the Halloween Ball is coming up and I know you're all excited" a bubbling Slughorn continued "I know that I will be dressed in my best dress robes and dance the night away, so today we are going to brew the Cleansing Potion, you see, it will assist you with the Hangover we will all undoubtedly have after the dance. It also has a soothing scent and taste, minty if I recall correctly so that we will all be fresh as a daisy the next day" Slughorn had begun dividing them into pairs and as usual, James was stuck with a weedy Gryffindor boy whose name he always forgot.
"Oh James, I'm so happy were working together again, I'm so excited about the dance you know…I've never been good at it and I've decided to ask Ada, you know the Gryffindor chaser, oh God I've been a whole nervous wreck all week…"
"Yeah, that's great errr C – " James said lazily
"Stefan…yeah, it is isn't it" he stared dreamily into space causing James to roll his eyes.
"Well good luck with that, how about you start cutting up the roots" Stefan nodded eagerly as he went to work.
As James looked bored around the room, he felt a shiver go down his spine as Snape, who was across the room from him, conjured the most spiteful look as he was busily scribbling at his Potions book…a look that made James Potter feel very very uneasy. To make the great James Potter feel uneasy was something that was very difficult.
After the class, James was about to stroll back to the Heads Room and sleep the afternoon away when a small tap on his shoulder made him stop in his tracks. To his surprise and somewhat amusement, he saw Lily's petite frame standing quite a few feet away from him, her face almost beetroot red. 'Wow' he thought, she must have had something really important to say because to make Lily approach him was definitely a first. She certainly did not look as if she wanted to be anywhere near him let alone talk to him. In fact, her nervousness made him feel more relaxed, it was as if she was a first year asking directions to the Herbology house or something.
"Yeah, what is it Evans…you got a temperature or something?" James took a step forward, but then reconsidered and stood back to where he was.
"ProfessorSlughorntoldmewehavetodance" she mumbled quickly, her head looking down.
James didn't even reply to that, but raised his eyebrow but after realizing that she couldn't hear him, he bent down and whispered
"What was that, Evans…you say you want to go the Ball with me?" He smirked.
"In your dreams Potter…Professor Slughorn just told me after class that I had to tell you that we have to commence the Halloween Ball because…well, because we're Head Boy and Head Girl" Lily yelled, not loudly but enough to cause James Potter to step back from her in bewilderment yet also caused him to congratulate his newfound luck.
This whole dancing thing could completely work to his advantage.
"Well, that's really unfortunate isn't it?" As he faked a disappointed look, he strolled off slowly, leaving Lily behind, steaming with anger, so angry that she could not even muster up a comeback. And that was a first for her.
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A/N: Welllllllll, I tried to lighten the situation up in the end as it was kind of too angsty...and I don't like writing angst because I end up feeling depressed and sorry for myself! I promise the Ball next chapter…and probably a slice of werewolf/Animagus action kekekekeke!!
Hope you're all enjoying the recent turn of events.
Dearest,
WhiteCamellia: You know what I've realized? You're always first to review my chapter, whenever I post you're always there! You must be as crazy about fanfics as I am kekekeke. Thanx again for allll your comments!!
Featherfinger: Wow what a long string of reviews kekekeke…thanks for reviewing all the earlier chapters and for taking the time to read! All your feedback was really uplifting as I feel that my writing has really interested people! Thanxx !
GiddyGirlie: Hmmm…rollercoaster eh? What a good comparison! Hope these recent happenings were to your liking. Any feedback/criticism I'd love to hear…you've been a great help to me!
Thestralwhisperer: Kekekee…I've always been a big one on cliffhangers be they big or small…but there wasn't too much violent action in this chapter, hope you weren't disappointed. BUT…maybe something will come out next chapter winx!!
Any reviews would be much appreciated
glares REVIEW!
Just kidding,
Purebliss90