I am in shock, I have no words to express my sadness, beware of major spoilers 2x13...R&R

Owen stared at the white blinding light, unwavering, not blinking, not breathing (which was easy as he didn´t have to breath anymore) Those were going to be his last seconds on Earth. That was it, the big Bang, the last time he saved the world. Damn, he was going to miss it. Good luck he had already left a good epitaph written and that he had sent a copy to Jack´s mail months ago, after his first death, just in case. He wondered what they were going to do without him. Surely, Jack would mourn him for...a couple of hours and then he would call Martha Jones and keep on working. It was not the first time someone died in Torchwood, well, it was not even the first time he died. The day after Suzie died, Gwen was cleaning her table, ready to do her job. Owen closed his fist, angry at the idea of someone else tinkering in his autopsy room. At least it was going to be Martha, and she was brilliant, not like the past morons that were hired to be the Torchwood medic before him. Besides Martha was safe, he hated to think of another guy making jokes at Gwen and Tosh, specially now that Gwen was married, because Tosh would be his obvious choice for...no, he was not going down that path, he was not dying thinking of Tosh with another guy.

Well, that was it, so he waited for it to end. He was scared of the darkness but not as much as he had feared he would. Thanks to Tosh he had managed to calm down and now he saw things in a completely new light, which was also easy, as he was surrounded by light. Luckily he was unable to feel pain or the way his body was being disintegrated would have been a terrible agony. He closed his eyes, because although pain was not an issue, seeing how your body decomposes is not a nice experience.

Once he closed his eyes he was sure the darkness was going to swallow him but first he enjoyed a few seconds of peace, complete peace, while fragments of his life flashed in his mind. It was only the good bits, the happy moments, the day he asked Katie to marry him, the day he started to work at his first hospital, the first baby he delivered in a bus stop while the mother shouted all the obscenities she could remember, the day he realised he loved working in Torchwood, the day he went to have a few drinks with Jack and laughed for real for the first time since Katie´s death, that night dancing with Diane and her red dress, the way Gwen kissed him while they had sex in his flat, the smell and taste of Ianto´s coffe, the day he made Myfawny ate Tosh´s reports and then sweared he had not been able to prevent it from happening, then the images were faster, flashing and flashing in a rollercoaster of emotions that were affecting him more than the radiation, these were the true moments of his life, of the people that had really touched him, the moments that had been really meaningful. He knew his unbeating heart was breaking, it was just too powerful. The smell of Katie´s hair after the morning shower, the passion of Diane even when they were not in bed, the warmth of Jack´s embrace that day after he came back from being dead for days, the kindness of Ianto´s voice while he tried to make him feel better when he was struggling to accept being undead. Gwen´s smiles, always positive, the eternal optimistic, she was going to cry a lot for him. Tosh´s eternal love, it didn´t matter what he did, what he said, she was always there. Flash after flash he saw her: the day she appeared wearing a purple dress and the jealousy he felt then, the way she said "I love you" while he was holding that weird red thing after the pain he had inflicted on her, the emotions of the moment when he asked her if she still wanted a date and her response to that, the smile that brigthen her whole face when she realised that he was serious. His last words in the world had been for her, and only her. He had apologised for hurting her so many times, for being bling, for not taking the chance to go with her on a date when it was possible, for not realising that she was the one and that she was in front of him. He had not said the words but what he had tried to said when he was talking to her was not just goodbye, it was a quiet I love you. He hoped she had understood, but she was so intelligent, his Toshiko, that surely she had.

Owen felt the cold darkness enveloping his soul. He was dead, that feeling was not new, it was kind of familiar by now. He knew that once he opened his eyes, he was going to see the darkness once again. He just hope death was not around, lurking in the shadows, ready to get revenge after the hospital´s incident. Slowly, very slowly, he opened his eyes. It was weird to be thinking in physical terms, he knew he had no real body, as his had melted away in that chamber. But his mind or soul, or whatever it was, projected an image of who he was, and he moved his hands in front of him. It was nice to be able to move all fingers once again, and besides, maybe it was even better to be dead, at least he could stop worrying about breaking a bone or tearing up some flesh here and there.

He stopped moving his fingers, frozen in place. He had heard a sound, he was sure of that. God, not again. He prayed to all the gods in eternity. The last time he had died the darkness had been ready to eat him, with real teeth, and he was sure this time it was not going to be any better. But he was not ready to give up without a fight. He had defeated death once, surely he can try again.

-"Ok, look, I am sorry for being a party pooper last time we get together, I understand killing is your thing, but not mine, mate" -Owen prepared himself for the fight, fist at the ready- "come on, come here, stop lurking"

-"Owen?" -It was weak voice, a familiar one, he lowered his fists, his whole body was trembling, that could not be true, he had to be dreaming, maybe he was still in the chamber and this was a hallucination due to the radiation, or a nightmare caused by stress.

-"Owen?"

-"Tosh?"- Owen asked, his mouth dry by the fear of hearing her answer and knowing that this was not a dream.

-"Owen!" -She appeared, her lovely face pale and scared, she was wearing her purple dress and ran to him,instinctly he opened his arms and she embraced him. He closed his arms around her little body and felt her trembling against his chest -"I thought I would never see you again! I thought I was going to be alone, after all you and Suzie told me about death...I feared this moment, I was sure I was going to be alone, trapped in the dark, like in a cell or something...I..."

-"Tosh, wait, Tosh" -Owen tried to speak but she kept on talking, so he raised his voice angrily- "God, Tosh! While you were alive it was hard to make you say more than two words but now you are dead it is impossible to keep you quiet!"

-"Sorry, Owen" -She lowered her gaze, still in his arms- "It is just that I am so happy to see you, you can´t imagine how much."

-"Tosh, I am glad to see you too, babe" -He crushed her against his chest to make sure it was really her- "Don´t get me wrong, but ...What the hell are you doing here? You should be alive, you were okay, just the arm..."

Tosh avoided his gaze, then he realised the truth.

-"A machine malfunction" -He said- "You lied. Why?"

-"I wanted to save you, I needed you to be focused. In the end, I wasn´t able to do it."-She cried, hiding her face in his t-shirt- "Besides, you were so far away, I was alone, it was useless to tell you that I have been shot".

-"Shot? Where?" -Owen asked, she moved aside a little bit and pointed towards her stomach. Owen grinded his teeth- "A shot wound in the stomach? That means bleeding to death and pain, so much pain. And I was shouting, shouting mad, Tosh, you should have said something."

-"That is okay now, Owen" -She smiled- "I died talking to you, that is all that matters"

Owen kissed her forehead. He was shaking just as badly as she was.

-"Who did it?" -Owen asked- "Who killed you?"

- "Jack´s brother" -Tosh spitted the words.

-"Bastard" -Owen was beyond furious. He kissed her forehead again and then rested his face next to hers.

They remained like that for a moment, in silence, gathering strength together. Then, suddenly, Tosh moved her head and looked at him.

-"What? What is it?" - Owen asked

-"I left a message in my computer log, in case I died"- She explained- "It will play if Ianto tries to log me off as dead."

-"Really? You are a genius" -He smiled at her- "What does it say? Is it something scandalous? Do you confess your girlie crush on Jack or something like that? Why are you trembling again? What is in that video?"

-"I thank Jack for saving me" -Tosh saw in Owen´s eyes that he had no idea of what she was talking- "Long story, but I promise that I will tell you one day, after all now we have eternity ahead. I also, well, I..."

-"What?"- Owen was curious.

-"I confessed my love for..."- Tosh continued, Owen leaned a bit closer to her- " for you."

-"Well, that would probably come as a shock to them" -Owen laughed- "I am sure not one of them had any idea of you being in love with me"

-"Don´t laugh, it is weird" -Tosh replied angry- "We are dead and you are making fun of me"

-"Good things never change" -Owen smiled at her- "I am so happy that you are here. I am sorry that you are dead and I will kill the bastard that killed you once he comes here, but right now, I am so happy you are with me."

Tosh kissed his cheek, he touched her face, tenderly, with slow and delicate movements.

-"Have you got any other relatives or friends that might be here?" -Tosh asked, deep down she feared the answer, something inside her was telling her that Diane might be dead already and that could a disaster for her.

-"One important person from my past has been dead for a long while now" -Owen said, thinking of Katie. It seemed so far away now, the presence of Tosh in his arms was all that matter- "But I am sure she has found her way around here. I am not leaving you Tosh, not now that I have finally opened up my eyes. I won´t make the same mistake again, Toshiko, this time I will be with you".

He kissed her and although he knew they were both dead and that those weren´t their real bodies, he enjoyed feeling her lips and tasting her. She was the light that kept him sane while he was undead and now he was going to be the one that saved her from the dark. She laughed and he stopped the kiss.

- "Am I so bad?" - Owen asked teasing her- "Girls used to like it, even you used to like my kisses, but maybe I was better while I was alive."

- "No, it is not that" -She kissed him in the lips, smiling- "I was thinking that now that we are gone, Torchwood is going to be a disaster. The system will never work properly, maybe they have the alien morgue code but not the alien translator´s password or the codes for the rift surveillance or..."

Owen kissed her and laughed with her.

-"I won´t let you wander out of my sight. Who knows? Maybe Jack finds a third glove and brings you back to life just for a few more codes" -Owen let her rest her head on his shoulder- "I won´t let them take you away from me."