A Darkness That Torments You

She woke up after days and days of slumbering. The moment her eyes opened, she glanced down at her body. She wasn't dressed, and any wounds that she had recieved that night were either healed or scarred.

Nora felt absolutely numb inside. She wasn't quite sure what kind of feeling she was experiencing. Sorrow? Misery? Anger? Everything blanked out as she sat up on her bed, her head hanging, her black hair falling into her face as covered her eyes with one hand. She knew this wasn't her fault. She didn't ask for any of this. But why... why did she feel so ashamed of herself?

Maybe that wasn't her real feelings... maybe she was confused. She was having a hard time focusing and thinking clearly. Why would she feel ashamed? That she couldn't beat him off of her? That she couldn't escape, or run faster... or maybe she was ashamed that she didn't run when she first met him. Every instinct and fiber of her being told her to run and she ignored it. Now he had her here... he tortured and raped her... things that could have been avoided if she had just run away...

So stupid. So, so stupid...

Nora rose to her feet, pushing her hair behind her shoulders as she proceeded to the bathroom. She walked by a rather large mirror and stopped to examine herself. Those scars on her looked so ugly, and just looking at them reminded her of the pain she went through to get them. Her hands went to her face next, tracing the scars across her eye and cheek. She remembered those claws ripping through the skin... and... oh God, why did he have to do this to her? As if it was bad enough that he cut and mutilated every inch of her body to the point where she would never be able to wear shorts, skirts, or tanktops again, now he had to mutilate her face as well?

She would never be beautiful again. Nora was never a particularly pretty girl, but anything looked better then the way she looked now.

She made it into the bathroom, drew a bath and climbed into the water. She made it as hot as she could manage, whimpering slightly as the hot water stung at her skin. She brought her knees to her chest, pouring the water over her thighs and arms as her head hung. She had no desire to stay clean. Perhaps sitting in hot water was a way of punishing herself... she hated herself for everything that had happened. Hated herself for not being able to avoid the whole thing...

Nora lowered her head onto her knees and cried. They were quiet sobs, still not wanting him to hear her. Everything was lost, wasn't it? Her dreams of going to that school, the future she wanted to make for herself, let alone the life that she had been living before all of this... God, she hated him for doing this to her. Taking everything away from her... if he was Sparda and he said this whole situation was neccessary, forcing her into having his children so they could save the world... but why did he have to pick her? Didn't he see how young she was? Didn't he realize how much going to that school meant to her? Why couldn't he find someone else, a pretty blonde girl with fair skin, like Nevan had been?

She didn't want to have babies... she didn't want to be a mother...

When the water had cooled down, she stepped out of the tub and moved out of the bathroom, passing that mirror again. She looked at her ugly face and body and that anger and hate within her just multiplied. Her hands shook and her body trembled and using every bit of strength within her, she punched that mirror and felt relief when she saw it shatter. She watched it, not wanting it to miraculously go back to the way it used to be, like the chair had been. When it didn't, she collapsed infront of the fireplace, still naked. There were clothes laid out on her bed, but she didn't want anything from him. She grabbed the dress and threw it into the fireplace, glaring hard as it burned and burst into flames and ashes.

She watched it burn for the longest of times before she realized that she was no longer alone in the room. She felt his presence, heard his footsteps approaching her, but did not turn to look at him. She was shaking, that anger never leaving her for a second.

"Nora..."

His voice was tinted with something. Concern or caution? She wasn't sure. It could have been both for all she knew. Concern for what he did to her sounded ridiculous, when it was evident that he enjoyed mutilating her. Caution seemed more rational, considering that she was ready to attack at any moment. He saw her naked by the fire, looked to the bed and saw that the clothes were gone. He knew he had laid them out for her... but when he looked at the fireplace and saw the remains of the dress up in flames, he just sighed.

"I did what was best for the world and I have no regrets." he said to her. She was still shaking. "I know you will not forgive me... and I wish it had not been neccessary.."

She didn't speak to him. Silent treatment...

"At first I thought I would be disappointed with a non-virgin... but I enjoyed myself. I'm sure your lover before me was satisfied as well..."

I'm not your lover... she thought to herself. He was trying to get her to speak, wasn't he? Or at least look at him. She would deny him both.

"Rape is nothing to my kind, Nora... this is how we mate. If you were a devil, you would be mine." he explained, walking closer to her. "I don't understand why you haven't submitted. Normally I would take you again..."

Still nothing. Did he truly want to take her again? She would fight every time. He might take her a thousand times over but she would still fight him. Hopefully in the process he'd finally realize that she was too much trouble and let her go... or kill her. One or the other...

Nora closed her eyes. She was thinking nonsense. He wasn't going to let her die, nor would he let her go. She continued to think back to that night, remembering all the gruesome details. The rituals, the rape... she remembered it clearly as if it was happening again. And now she was probably pregnant... with his children. She never intended on having babies in her lifetime, and if she did, she wanted it to be with someone she loved. And she would never, ever love this monster.

She wanted to throw herself into the fire. Kill herself. Kill the monsters inside of her. Get away from him forever... but he wouldn't let that happen. She knew, deep down she knew that if she even attempted to commit suicide, he would be on it in a second. Put the flames out before she hit them, catch her before she fell, make the water vaporize before she could drown herself...

"Nora..."

Still nothing. She was still shaking. He moved closer, kneeling down beside her and putting his hands on her shoulders. The very moment he touched her, she lashed out, not at him, but towards the fire. Ignoring the flames and the smell of her burning skin, she grabbed one of the burning logs, whipped around and smashed it against the side of his face. He yelped slightly (in surprise, not in pain) as the log broke over his face. Nora was on her feet, yelling and growling at her burning hand and watching as the wound began to close and seal up. Any burns that were on his face had healed as well, and he looked right at her.

"Don't..." she hissed. "Touch... me..."

He looked hurt. He hated how vicious she looked. So much anger and rage, burning inside of her. She reminded him of a caged animal... an abused one. Part of him wanted to grab her by her black hair and smash her onto the floor, but the other part wanted to hold her, give her some comfort, take away all of that rage that he had put there.

"I don't want you to be alone like this." he explained, reaching out to her. "I dont' want your rage to fester and manifest within you."

"Get out of here. Now." she growled.

When he didn't, she went on another tirade. She picked up the nearest chair and threw it at him, which he caught with very little effort. That was followed up by her breaking, then throwing a small table at him as well. She grabbed pillows off of her bed, threw them at him even though they wouldn't cause any damage. Sparda was backing away, proceeding towards the door when he saw that she was ready to pick up another log to throw at him as well. His eyes widened and he lifted up his arms.

"Don't do that to yourself." he growled. "I will leave you... and come back when you are calm."

"Don't come back at all!" she hollered, grabbing one of the shards from the shattered mirror and throwing it at him. He ducked under it and sighed.

He stepped out of the room without a word, sighed again when he heard a loud THUD crash against the door, making sure he was leaving. He heard her sobbing as he left, and his head lowered.

"She is strong... and stubborn..." he said to himself. "Nora... I'm sorry that it had to be you..."