Godot strode purposefully through the wooden double doors leading into the courtroom, slamming them both open with excessive force as he did so.
Ramona raised her eyebrows, but trailed behind him silently, casting her eyes around the courtroom as she did so. The gallery was jammed full of solemn spectators, the judge was sitting at his bench and the defense had yet to arrive.
Godot stopped behind the prosecutor's bench, leaning forward across it casually. Ramona took her place next to him.
The judge raised his eyebrows. "Oh, it's good to see you early to the trial Mr. Godot."
Godot smirked, sipping his coffee. "The prosecution is always early your honor."
"Uh, no, normally your late…aren't you?" The easily confused judge scratched his head.
Godot shook his head. "No, I'm always early. You're obviously thinking of another attorney."
The judge frowned. "But you--"
"Always early your honor." Godot said forcefully. "You're probably thinking of Mr. Trite."
"Oh. I suppose I am. Well, commendable behavior, always being early. I should reprimand Mr. Trite, er, Mr. Wright on his continual Tardiness."
Godot smiled. "You do that your honor."
Then the judge spied Ramona standing beside him. "Oh ho ho ho! Who do we have here?"
"My new assistant." Godot said shortly.
"Well, it's a pleasure to have a fresh addition to the courtroom miss--?"
"Ramona Karsten your honor." She said in a sweet voice. Godot frowned at her change of tone and turned to look at her. He was surprised to see that in the minute or so since he'd last looked at her, she'd somehow managed to pull her long hair into two piggy tails, making her appear even younger than she was. "It's such a great honor to be in the same room as such a revered judge as yourself! Why, my law professor said we'd be lucky if we even got to see you, and her I am, being blessed enough to watch you handle your proceedings." She said in a breathless, awe inspired voice. And then Godot was even more shocked to see her dip into a graceful curtsy. It was a perfect curtsy, even though she was only wearing blue jeans and a tight, black polo.
The judge was also surprised, his face showing as much, but then he broke into a wide grin. "Ho ho ho ho! Well aren't you just cute as a bug's ear! You say your professor speaks highly of me?"
Ramona nodded; her big, blue eyes wide with sincerity and feeling. "Oh yes your honor! He tells all of us on a daily basis that we could only hope to have a fraction of the sense of justice you display!"
Godot covered his open mouth with his hand, glancing quickly at the judge who was actually blushing. He spoke to Ramona from behind his hand. "For the love of coffee, Ramona, please tell me you're faking this."
Ramona was grinning wide enough to show all of her straight teeth and her dimples shown shamelessly. She spoke out of the corner of her mouth, barely moving her lips. "I have no clue who this judge is, Mr. Godot. Never heard of him in my life. However, I am in several drama classes currently. I had you buying it too, didn't I?"
"Ha…! I'm beginning to feel even better about my decision."
The judge was still smiling happily at his new 'admirer'. "Well, young lady, it sounds--" Whatever the judge had been about to say was cut short buy the arrival of the defense.
He was a small, wiry man in a white button up shirt and ill fitting black trousers. He had a mop of red hair lacking in any form of style and thick, wire rimmed glasses. His features were slightly pointed like a rat. He took his place at the defense's bench, placing his overly flashy brief case on the table.
Ramona frowned slightly, not recognizing him. "Who's he?" She whispered to Godot.
Godot smiled at the mans entrance. "That would be one Edgar Zachariah Out. We'll have no problem with him."
Out spoke in a high pitched voice. "The defense is--"
The judge was glaring down at him angrily and he interrupted him. "Mr. Out, I'm in the middle of a conversation! Show respect in my courtroom or I will penalize you!" He glowered at him a moment longer and then turned back to Ramona, his smile back in place. "As I was saying Miss Ka--"
"But your honor! It's time to start the trial!" The defense attorney shouted, angry at being brushed off. As much as he appeared to be lacking in common sense, at least Out seemed to be blessed with good reflexes. If the speed with which he dropped behind his bench to avoid the projectile coffee mug flying at him was any way to judge, that is.
The ceramic cup hit the wall behind him, showering coffee and broken pieces all over his head and shoulders.
"Shut it, Out!" Godot barked, his arm still extended from his throw. "The judge is in the middle of a conversation! Show respect in his courtroom or I will penalize you!" He emphasized by slamming his fist on the table, causing Ramona to jump slightly.
The defense attorney pulled himself to his feet, looking frightened. "Objection." He said weakly.
"Overruled!" The judge said sternly. "Thank you Mr. Godot. Very commendable."
Godot grinned wolfishly at Out, who already looked as if he was going to cry.
"So, Miss Karsten," The judge continued as if nothing had happened. "I would very much like to know the name of this professor who so reveres me." He chuckled. "I do believe I'll give him an honorable mention or two in my next thesis."
"Professor Johnson," Godot whispered helpfully, realizing that she wasn't going to have a name for her fictional professor. "Lexington, Schmitt, Fink."
Ramona blushed and giggled girlishly. "Uh, well sir, I'm just so twitterpated at actually meeting you that his name seems to have completely slipped my mind." More dimples. "I barely remembered my own name your honor."
The judge chuckled. "Twitterpated, you say?"
Smiling, Ramona curtsied again.
"What a lovely young lady." The judge said.
"Um, excuse me your honor, but could we please start the trial?" Out asked nervously, flinching when Godot shifted his weight slightly.
The judge directed a dark look at the cowering lawyer. "Yes, I suppose we can begin. But let it be said that you are not earning the defense any favors by attempting to rush things."
"But I'm not rushing things! It's five minutes past the designated time." Out defended, extracting an over sized gold pocket watch from his briefcase.
"Patience is a virtue, Out." Godot reprimanded with a frown, holding one finger up to his forehead.
Out glared angrily across the room at the prosecutor's bench. As if on cue, Ramona adopted a scared look, causing the judge to gasp angrily.
"Mr. Out! Do refrain from intimidating young women in my court room!"
"I wasn't, but it, I was glaring at--"
"You're walking on thin ice Mr. Out. Please control yourself." The judge said angrily.
Ramona covered her laugh with a hand to her mouth. She glanced up at Godot, expecting to see one of his many different smiles, but was instead met with an odd, solemn frown.
Godot had thought Ramona's little act had been humorous when she'd gotten the judge so easily wrapped around her finger, but just then when she'd used it to make the defense look bad he had been reminded far too much of another girl, in another trial in another world. In no way did he think Ramona was at all like her, but that trick she'd just used was much too familiar. He forced a smile and looked over at her. "Alright, you should probably lay off a little."
She caught the off tone with which he said this, and she immediately dropped the façade. "Oh, I'm really sorry Mr. Godot," She apologized, pulling the hair ties out of her hair and shaking her head to send the thick mane tumbling across her shoulders. "I get carried away sometimes. I'm sorry."
"That's okay Ramona. No harm done. In fact, you really set the defense on its toes. Good job."
She, too, forced a smile. "Thanks. Do you want to tell me where to go to make your coffee? I wouldn't want you to suffer from caffeine withdrawals."
Godot smiled sincerely now. "That's a good work ethic you've got. I like that. That small door directly behind us leads straight into the prosecutors lounge. You should be familiar enough with that room by now, I hear you spend a lot of time in there trying to get dates." He teased, setting a lighter mood.
Her eyes sparkled. "Very funny. Do you want me to go now?"
He shook his head. "No, wait until the opening statements are over. Then go."
She nodded and then frowned slightly. "Wait, if that door leads straight into the prosecutor's lounge, then why'd we come in through the main doors?"
"Ha…! I always like to make a big entrance."
"I guess I should have known."
"Okay, let's hear your opening statements and then get started." The judge said.
Mr. Out puffed out his chest and put his hands on his hips, trying to look more impressive. "It is the defenses belief that the charges placed against Mr. Wine are heinous fabrications and I intend to prove, without a doubt, his innocence."
The judge nodded. "Very good. Mr. Godot?"
Godot straightened up, taking a deep breath. He rested his index finger against the top rim of his visor, looking thoughtful. Ramona prepared herself to finally hear a bit of his genius.
Finally, he spoke. "The cop's guilty; prosecution's going to prove it…" He looked up at the judge and smirked. "That's all."
The judge nodded again as if this kind of opening statement from the prosecution was normal.
Godot turned to the frowning Ramona. "What's wrong? Not what you expected?" He smirked at her, too.
She laughed quietly. "No, not really. I guess I need to stop expecting anything from you though. I think you're right about the caffeine making you unpredictable."
He grinned at her crookedly. "Speaking of which…"
"Oh, right. The coffee. Sorry." She turned to go, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.
"Oh, and Ramona?"
"Um, yes? What is it?"
He smiled. "Hurry back, you don't want to miss this."
The door clicked shut behind her.
Out cleared his throat. "Your honor, the defense would like to establish at this time that the defendant has a solid alibi for the time of the murder."
"Ah, yes, the poker party he was at. Are there any witnesses that saw him at this party?" The judge questioned.
Out gave a smarmy smile. "Yes, in fact I would like to call him to testify right now your honor."
"The prosecution has no objections." Godot said, smiling at Out. "This should be amusing."
"Alright then, I suppose lets bring him in."
A handsome, tall man who appeared to be somewhere in his mid twenties was escorted to the witness stand by the bailiff. He wore a plaid button up shirt with a pack of either cigarettes or cards tucked into one of the rolled up sleeves. He had a pair of sunglasses resting on top of his head, blending in with his wavy, black hair. He grinned with all his perfectly white, straight teeth wide enough that you could even see his molars.
"Witness, please state your name and occupation." Out told him.
He grinned wider. "Why, I'd be loving to tell y'all. The name's Benjamin Lion, the job's a lumber jack."
"Yes, lumber jack, excellent." Mr. Out was still smiling widely, obviously he felt he had quite the surprise up his sleeve. "Now, would you please tell the court how you knew the defendant, Mr. Ian S. Wine?"
"Sure! Ya see, my pa and his pa were friends way back when. We's known each other sense we were in diapers!"
"Now, would you please tell the court what--"
"Ha…! It's good to see you bringing in objective, impartial witnesses, Out." Godot interrupted. "Someone who's known the defendant his entire life would have no reason to lie to cover for him, would they?"
Out turned slightly pale. "Objection! That's pure assumption!"
"Objection sustained. We will hear the witness out." The judge said.
Mr. Out gave Godot a smug look. "As I was saying, Mr. Lion, will you please tell us what your friend Mr. Wine was doing night before last around nine o'clock?"
The witness removed the package of cards from his sleeve and began playing idly with them, bridging them and shuffling them. "Funny ya should ask 'bout that particular time. See, right around 8:45 or so, Ian won the biggest pot of the whole night! To commemorate the event, we done took a snapshot of it!"
"A snapshot? Do you have any proof of the time it was taken?" The judge asked curiously, not at all bothered by the fact that this bit of evidence hadn't been officially announced beforehand, which was the common procedure.
Lion smiled like a shark. "Why, funny thing. See, this here is the picture," He tossed a Polaroid up to the judge. "And if you'll look closely, in the background there's my TV. Ya see, we took that there picture during the evening news. Why, you can even see the clock behind that good lookin' reporter. 8:45 on the dot."
The judge examined the picture with surprise. "Well, what do you know! That is the evening news!"
"May I see the picture, your honor?" Godot asked simply.
"Certainly!" The judge handed the snapshot to the bailiff, who delivered it to Godot.
One glance at the picture, and Godot was grinning again.
"What does the prosecution think about this new evidence?" The judge asked.
Godot leaned casually on his desk. "When you make a pot of coffee, if you put a great amount of water in the machine and not enough coffee grounds, what do you get?"
The judge blinked. "Um, I fail to see the relevancy of this question, but I suppose you get watered down coffee…right?"
Godot smirked. "Exactly your honor. And that's all this evidence is. Watered down and bland!"
Out drew back in momentary shock, Lion's eyes went wide and his teeth clenched. Then they both composed themselves. "I'd like to see you prove that it's a fake, Mr. Godot." Out said, trying to force a confident smile. It only ended up making him look slightly sick.
"I'll do just that Out." Godot turned his head to the side. "Right after I get my coffee, that is."