Beauty is Only Skin Deep
Chapter 6
The following Sunday, the Dukes picked up Maddie early in the morning and headed together to the morning services at the church. As they were coming out afterwards, County Commissioner Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane were standing down at the base of the steps, waiting for Lulu, Boss' wife and Rosco's sister. Boss was chomping on the cigar that was in his mouth when he saw the Dukes and Maddie leaving.
"Rosco, there's the Dukes," he said as he pointed them out with his cigar. "They've been awful quiet these last few days."
"Come ta think of it, they have been, haven't they?" Rosco agreed.
"Wonder what they're up to?" Boss mumbled as his scowl grew. He then spotted the strange woman with them. "Rosco, who's that girl walking with them?"
"That must be the new girl that Enos was tellin' me about," Rosco said, smiling at the fact that he knew something that Boss didn't. "Uh, I believe her name is Madeline Weiss."
"New girl? What new girl?" Boss asked, still not knowing who she is.
"The new girl that moved ta Hazzard a few weeks ago," Rosco supplied.
Boss' scowl deepened. "A few weeks ago? And how is it that I don't know anything about her?"
"Oh well, that's because there isn't much ta tell. Ya see, accordin' ta Enos, who got the news from Daisy, that girl bought and moved inta the ole Miller place and she's in the process of fixin' it up, kew kew."
"Bought the Miller place? How? She didn't come to my bank for a mortgage loan."
"Well from what Maybell told me, she paid cash."
"Cash? Just where does she work?"
"Ms. Tizdale told me that she works at a law firm in Capitol City."
"Boss' cigar moved up and down as his jaw twitched in concentration. "Is she a lawyer?"
"Not accordin' ta Enos, she ain't. She just works for them."
"Which law firm?"
"I don't rightly know."
"Now how can someone who isn't a lawyer be able to afford accommodations such as a house like that and pay cash on top of it to boot?"
"Well, maybe she's rich or has come into some money," Rosco suggested.
The wheels in Boss' head were spinning and spinning fast. "No…if she had money I would know about it by now," he said as he continued to think. "Something funny is going on here, Rosco, and I want to know about it."
"What kind of funny?" Rosco asked in confusion.
"I'm not sure, but for someone to move into my town, buy a house with cash, and is now hanging around them Dukes, that tells me that something fishy is going on and I want to know what it is."
"How ya gonna do that?"
"Just watch," Boss exclaimed as he started heading towards the Dukes and Maddie.
"Well, well, well, look who's here," Boss said in his most sickly sweet voice. "The whole Duke clan." Turning, he forced a look of surprise on his face when he saw Maddie standing there. "Now who is this lovely creature?" he asked as he bowed slightly at his target.
"What is it that ya want, JD?" Jesse asked gruffly, already knowing that he was up to something.
"My, my Jesse. Is that anyway to treat one of your oldest friends, especially in front of a stranger too?" Boss asked with a look of shock on his face.
"JD we ain't been friends for a long time now, so again I ask, what are ya up ta?"
"Why I just came over to introduce myself to the lovely young lady here is all," Boss answered with a look of innocence on his face.
Maddie looked over at Bo and Luke and could see that they were also suspicious of the man in white. She remembered what the family had told her about the small man and she turned back with a smile on her face. "Why my name is Madeline Weiss and you must be County Commissioner Boss Hogg?"
"That's right I am," Boss cooed back.
"Oh yes, I've heard so much about you," Maddie continued.
"All good I hope?"
"Oh you can't imagine the things I've heard about you," she said as she quickly winked at the rest of the group.
"I just heard that you moved into the county and well I just wanted to let you know that if you need anything like say, a loan, to make sure and see me. My bank would be very happy to help you."
"That's very kind of you, Mr. Hogg, but I think that it would be safer if my money stayed where it is now and that is in the Capitol City Bank."
"Wha…" Boss croaked out.
"You see, I take a high interest in my money and I found out your bank doesn't…give interest that is," she smiled sweetly. "And about that loan? I do believe that charging five times the rate that everyone else does might make some very interesting reading to one or possibly two of the lawyers in my law firm. They're always looking for good corruption cases."
"But…but…"
"What's the matter, JD?" Jesse chuckled with glee. "Ya look as white as your suit there."
"Well I see that you've already corrupted this sweet, innocent girl," Boss accused.
"Oh, I was already corrupted as you say, before I met the Dukes, sir," she grinned. "I make sure I do my homework before choosing a financial institution and since it is more convenient, if not more profitable, I prefer to stay with my current bank. Good day, Mr. Hogg." Turning away from the stout, little man, she bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud as she walked away, followed by a shocked but amused family.
Seeing that he was basically dismissed, Boss turned and headed back towards Rosco. "What did ya find out, Boss?"
"I found out that I got a dipstick for a sheriff is what I found out," Boss answered and he stormed past.
"Ijit. What happened?" Rosco queried as he followed.
"She made a fool out of me, Rosco and nobody does that to me, not even your fat sister, my wife Lulu."
"Ooh, that's not good. What are ya gonna do, little, fat buddy?"
"Well first, I ain't your little, fat buddy. Second, you're gonna find out anything you can on that girl…what's her name?"
"Uh, Madeline Weiss."
"Right. You're gonna find out anything you can about Ms. Madeline Weiss and I want you to place her under surveillance. Is that understood?"
"Well what do I look for?"
"Anything that will tell me what she's up to," Boss ordered. "She claims that she got a loan from the Capitol City Bank so that should be easy enough to check on. But if she did pay cash for that house like you say, then she must be up to something and most likely something illegal."
"And you want in."
"And I want in."
"Anything ya say, Boss. Me and Flash will start first thing tomorrow morning."
"Wrong."
"Wrong?"
"You will start first thing right now," Boss commanded.
"Just what I said, Flash and I will start right now."
"Good. Now get going and find me something on her."
"I'm gone," Rosco said as he turned and headed towards his patrol car.
01 01 01 01
Meanwhile, back at the General and Dixie, the gang was having a good laugh at the way Maddie handle ole Boss. "Sugar, ya were wonderful. I don't think I've seen Boss Hogg that flustered before."
"And that part about your law firm being interested in his bank was a classic," Luke grinned back. "Girl, I sure am glad ta be on your side."
"Why thank you," Maddie answered as she took a bow. "Now, I hope that you are all hungry. I have dinner waiting for us for when we get back to my place."
"Ya bet," Bo piped in, a wide smile on his face.
"You're always hungry, Bo," Daisy teased. "Do ya need any help once we get there?"
"Nope. Basically, everything is ready. All I need to do is bake some rolls and take the roast out, and then we can eat," Maddie smiled.
"Well let's go then," Jesse ordered as he herded the kids to the cars.
An hour later, the Duke clan was back at Maddie's house, sitting at the table as Maddie placed the roast on the table, along with the potatoes, rolls, gravy, and green beans. "Hope you're prepared for a little northern cooking," Maddie grinned as she sat down.
"If it tastes as good as it looks, I'm sure we're all gonna be happy," Daisy smiled as they bowed their heads and listened to Jesse say grace. Plates were soon filled with food and the conversation quickly turned to how wonderful everything tasted.
"Darlin', ya cook like this all the time and I'll be over every night," Bo said over a mouthful of food.
"And that's after he's had supper with us," Luke joked. "But I agree with Bo. This is really good."
"Why thank you," Maddie blushed slightly at the compliment. "I'll have to introduce you to some of my family's favorites later on. "There's nothing like good old fashion Polish and German food."
"And we'll have ta introduce ya ta some ole fashion southern cookin' as well," Jesse grinned back.
"You're on," Maddie said with a smile.
As the small family was eating, Rosco came sneaking up the driveway on foot, carrying Flash of course, and trying to find out just who this Madeline Weiss was. After seeing that the General Lee and Dixie were parked in the driveway behind Maddie's station wagon, he quickly made his way over to the barn and peered through the window. His eyes opened wide in surprise as he saw all the machines standing there and since he had no clue as to their purpose, he immediately formed the wrong assumption.
"Ooh, ooh, we got her now, Flash," Rosco chuckled. "Just look at all that stuff in there. She must be doin' somethin' illegal with all that equipment." Flash just yawned in reply. Moving over to the house, he quietly as possible made his way over to the first window he saw, which just happened to be the kitchen window. As he stood up on his tiptoes to see into the window, Maddie, who was at the sink filling it with soapy water, happened to look out that same window…and screamed. Rosco's eyes widened in fear and he back pedaled, tripping over a small bench and falling onto his backside but still holding tightly onto Flash.
Bo and Luke were right by Maddie's side as she pointed out at the window. Without a thought, the two of them were out the door and ready to tackle whoever it was that was outside the window. They both stopped and laughed when they saw Rosco trying his best to get up with Flash still in his arms. Jesse, Daisy, and Maddie were suddenly behind the boys and looked at the fallen sheriff.
"Rosco, what are ya doin'?" Bo asked as he and Luke walked over and helped the man stand up.
"Uh, uh, Flash and me, see," Rosco began, "we thought that we saw someone sneakin' around here so we came ta investigate."
"Rosco, the only one sneakin' around here is you," Luke said as he dusted the sheriff off.
"We're not sneakin'," Rosco protested.
"Then where's your car?" Bo asked.
"Uh, my car?"
"Yeah, your car."
"It's uh, it's hidden so that the guy sneakin' around here wouldn't spot it. That way Flash and me could cuff him and stuff him."
"We're not buyin' it, Rosco," Luke said in a warning voice.
"You're not?"
"Nope."
"Oh well…it's the truth," Rosco said, shifting Flash in his arms. "Otherwise, why would I be out here?"
"Because Boss Hogg sent ya," Bo smiled back.
Rosco's eyes widened as he tried to think his way out of the situation. Maddie stood behind Jesse trying not to laugh at the man's failed attempt. Taking pity on the mumbling, stumbling man, she came around and stood in front of him. "Sheriff, are you all right? You didn't hurt yourself did you?" she innocently asked. "I'm afraid you startled me when I saw you peeking through my window. Is your dog okay? She didn't get hurt did she?" Maddie kept bombarding Rosco with question after question, as she swiped her hand down his sleeves, removing the dirt and dust, confusing him further.
"Now just wait one cotton pickin' minute!" Rosco shouted as he took a step back from Maddie. "Or I'll have ta arrest ya for assultin' an officer of the law."
Maddie stood there for a moment staring back at Rosco, her hands going to her hips, and a fire forming in her eyes. "Then I guess you'll just have to arrest yourself as well," Maddie said as she poked the lawman's shoulder.
Confusion covered Rosco's face once again. "Arrest myself? What fer?"
"For trespassing and searching my property without a search warrant," Maddie smiled back. "Both quite illegal mind you."
"Ijit. I…I wasn't searchin' your property," Rosco answered in his own defense. "I already done told ya that I was after a very suspicious lookin' character."
"Rosco, the only suspicious lookin' character around here is you," Jesse replied, coming up next to Maddie. "And since ya have no warrant, I suggest ya better leave before we call the state police and report ya as a peepin' Tom." Rosco looked at the family and grumbled about no respect for the law as he and Flash headed back to the hidden patrol car.
"Tell me, is all the local law like him?" Maddie asked as she watched Rosco drive off.
"Well there is Enos, he's as honest as they come but just as naïve," Jesse grinned.
"Best way ta take care of Enos is ta sick Daisy on him," Bo chuckled.
"Bo Duke!" Daisy yelled as she slapped the ducking man.
"Bo's only tellin' the truth there, Daisy," Luke laughed; glad it was his cousin that was receiving Daisy's wrath instead of him. "One look at ya and he's a puddle of jello."
"Well he doesn't have ta make it sound like I'm sort of she devil," Daisy glared.
"You're not?" Bo joked as he moved out of range.
"Bo Duke, you're terrible," Daisy shouted.
"Now ya two stop it," Jesse ordered. "I can still take ya over my knee if need be."
"Yes sir," his kids answered.
"Now, let's get back in the house and start in on those pies that Maddie baked."
"Yes sir," they all shouted back enthusiastically.