That afternoon I decided to get out of the house and get some exercise. I knew Erik would have told me to take it easy, so I went for a brisk walk around the estate grounds. Since I was not completely worn out by the time I got back inside, I did as many sit-ups as I could manage before collapsing into a warm bath.
"I've really got to get a bigger tub," I said aloud, as I climbed out of the bathtub and dried myself off. I decided that first thing Monday morning I would go in search of an extra-long bathtub.
As I began to dress, I started to wonder how the evening would turn out. I really liked Elise, but in a completely platonic sort of way. Pretending to pretending to be her beau, or lover as she put it, made me nervous. We had to put on a good enough act to get Matthew to believe that we were a couple, and I knew that meant close contact and possibly even a kiss. This may sound odd, but I really did not want to have to kiss her. She is attractive, witty, and has a great sense of humor, but I am not physically attracted to her at all. The thought of having to kiss her on the lips reminded me of having to kiss my cousin. I shuddered as I put on my dress coat.
"I'll do what I have to do, she is my friend, after all," I told myself. "This should be interesting…"
I headed downstairs to wait for Elise to get off duty.
After about fifteen minutes, Elise appeared at the bottom of the stairs. She was wearing a maroon evening dress, complete with a small string of pearls and matching earrings. Her dress was not nearly as expensive as any of Christine's, but its simplicity suited her well. Her dark blonde hair was done up in a fancy chignon, with several loose tendrils framing her face. It was no wonder Matthew was attracted to her, but I, on the other hand, still didn't feel anything.
She walked apprehensively into the room.
"Good evening," I said, giving her a bow.
"Hello," she said, smiling shyly.
There were several moments of awkward silence.
"Um, Raoul?" she said finally.
"Yes?"
"I was thinking, and I know you agreed to go along with this, but you could still change your mind. I mean, if it's too uncomfortable," she said, fiddling with her necklace.
"I don't mind…are you uncomfortable with this?" I asked.
"Well, no…I mean, not exactly. I was just thinking about it and like I said earlier, you're a great guy, it's just…" she shifted her eyes downward.
"You're not physically attracted to me." I finished.
"Oh you're perfectly handsome, but…"
"I know exactly what you mean. You're quite beautiful, but I think we'd make better friends than anything else."
"Oh good, I'm glad you agree!" she exclaimed, looking very relieved. "I was thinking about it earlier and kissing you would be like kissing my brother or something!"
"I was thinking that kissing you would be like kissing my cousin," I replied after laughing heartily.
"But we might have to, you know," she said, cringing. "Matthew is the 'I won't believe it until I see it,' type, so we're going to have to pretend to really like each other."
"I was thinking as much, but only if it's the last resort, agreed?" I asked, extending my right hand.
"Agreed," she said as she firmly shook my hand.
We talked and laughed for about a half hour, when Pauline, Elise's roommate appeared in the room.
"Well, what's this?" Pauline asked, eyeing both of us warily.
"Oh…well, I invited Elise to dinner to thank her for doing some personal errands for me this morning," I replied nervously.
Pauline gave Elise the eye of death, and marched angrily out of the room.
"Oh no…" Elise moaned. "Now she's really going to hate me. I don't know why, but she's never liked me."
"Why not?" I asked.
Before Elise could answer, the doorbell rang.
"That would be Matthew," Elise said. She grudgingly got up and headed toward the front door. We had decided that she would try to get rid of him on her own, and if necessary, I would make an appearance.
"Good evening, my darling," I heard Matthew say. His voice sounded somewhat dull and boring. I could tell just by his voice that he was not the right man for Elise – she needed someone with excitement and passion in his voice.
"Hello Matthew," Elise replied emotionlessly.
"Well aren't you going to invite me inside? Or are you prepared to go out? You look great, I might add."
"Matthew, how many times must I tell you that I'm not interested? Besides, I already have a date for the evening."
"I know you do, that's why I am here," Matthew said, trying to sound exciting.
"No, I'm not going out with you; I'm going out with Raoul."
"Raoul de Chagny? Please, Elise, I'm not falling for that one. You may as well say you're courting the King of England."
I really did not like Matthew. I knew Elise was right, and the only way to get him to go away was for me to rescue her. Inhaling deeply, and marched into the front hall.
"Elise, my dear, you look positively stunning," I said, taking her by the hand and twirling her around.
"Thank you, Raoul" she said, with a huge smile spreading across her face.
"And who might you be monsieur?" I asked, turning to face Matthew.
"I am Elise's date for the evening," he said firmly.
Before I replied to his bold statement, I studied him for a moment. He was a shorter man; I doubted he was even six feet tall. He had sandy blonde hair that was in desperate need of a trim, a large nose, and his cheeks and forehead were riddled with acne. He did not look at all like someone Elise would have ever been attracted to in the first place.
"I believe you are mistaken, monsieur," I said, wrapping my arm around Elise's slender waist.
"I don't believe this," Matthew said suspiciously. "Why would you be courting one of your staff members?"
"Elise is a charming young lady," I replied simply.
I felt Elise nudge me gently in the ribs.
"I don't want to be late for our reservation," Elise said quickly. "Wait here, darling, while I go fetch our coats."
This was it; we really had to prove to Matthew that we were a couple. Elise had just said the code we made up. We decided that she'd only say it if she felt it was absolutely necessary for me to kiss her.
"Of course dear," I said. I pulled her close to me and kissed her firmly on the lips.
Nothing; there was no spark, no sudden attraction. Quickly, I prayed that she didn't feel anything either. She pulled away gently and sauntered off to get our coats.
I glanced back at Matthew, who was speechless for the first time since Elise had opened the door.
"Monsieur, I would appreciate it if you would remove yourself from the premises," I said coldly. "Since Elise clearly has no interest in you, I suggest you leave her be or I will forced to take action to ensure you stay off my property," I snarled, moving toward him.
I hated to admit it, but I had learned a thing or two about being hostile from both Erik and Christine. I was never good at telling one off, but I remembered how Erik had threatened me to stay away from Christine. I also remembered the coldness in Christine's voice as she told me she would never trust me again.
Between the kiss and my unfriendliness, Matthew had clearly gotten the message. He backed away from the doorstep.
"I'm sorry…I-I honestly didn't know…tell Elise I said goodbye," he nearly tripped over himself as he hastily headed back toward his waiting carriage.
I closed the door and waited for Elise to come back.
"We did it!" I exclaimed as she returned.
"Really? He's really gone?" she asked eagerly, running to the window.
Upon seeing his carriage disappearing into the night, Elise squealed in delight. She turned around and tackled me with a giant hug. Her enthusiasm was contagious; I picked her up and swung her around and laughed.
"Thank you so much!" she cried, as I put her down. "This really is something to celebrate."
"Absolutely," I replied, as I put on my coat.
I decided to take Elise to Les Elysees du Vernet, a stylish restaurant in the heart of Paris. The restaurant is classy but not at all pretentious, and I knew she would appreciate that.
Upon our arrival I ordered two glasses of celebratory wine. The waiter tried his best to convince me to order an entire bottle, but I assured him that the two glasses would suit us perfectly. I had promised Elise that things would not get out of hand tonight, and I planned on keeping that promise.
Due to the medium-priced entrees, I knew I was not likely to see anyone of a higher-society that I might know. It's not that I was ashamed of being out with Elise, but I knew rumors would spread quickly and I did not want to give Elise a bad reputation.
"This place is very nice," Elise said, taking in the atmosphere.
"I hoped you would like it here. Order anything you like – it's my treat," I said, gesturing to the menu. "I highly recommend the rack of lamb, the meat falls right off the bone."
"Ohh…everything looks so delicious," she replied excitedly. After she carefully read a description of each entrée, she decisively announced, "I will have the veal marsala."
"A fine choice," I replied. "I just can never get past that rack of lamb when I come here."
After the waiter returned with our glasses of wine and took our orders, Elise raised her glass and made a toast.
"To getting rid of Matthew!"
"To getting rid of Matthew," I cheered.
"Oh, and to making new friends," she said, smiling at me.
"I'll drink to that," I said, and took another gulp.
"I have a question," Elise said, putting down her glass. "What did you mean by your toast last night? 'To finding yourself?'"
"It has a lot to do with Christine…" I answered softly.
Elise's quizzical expression softened a bit, and she gestured her hand as though she wanted me to continue.
"I may as well start from the beginning," I said with a heavy sigh. I sat back in my chair and began my tale.
"Christine and I used to be the best of friends as children. We were inseparable – we used to camp in her father's attic, have picnics on the beach, explore the woods…we did everything together. I used to think that I would end up marrying her. When I was fourteen my brother and I went on an expedition to Spain, but I kept writing to Christine and thought of her every day. When I returned to France, I searched everywhere for her, and finally found that she was in the corps de ballet at the Paris Opera. Naturally, I offered to patronize the opera so I could see Christine. My God what a beautiful woman she had become! I had never dreamed of how gorgeous she would be as an adult. When I first approached her she said something about her music teacher, but being the stubborn ox that I know I am, I continued to pursue her. I actually thought I was getting somewhere, for she allowed me to court her for several months and when I proposed to her I was too blind to see that she wasn't really in love with me; she was trying to distance herself from Erik, her overzealous music teacher."
The waiter could not have picked a better time to bring out our meal. I was getting a bit emotional, and needed to take a rest before I finished the story. Elise seemed to understand, for she did not prod me to continue once the waiter had left. Instead, she eagerly picked up her silverware and began to eat. We both ate in silence for several moments before I began to speak again.
"I'm sorry for the pause; I just needed to organize my thoughts."
"I don't mind," she answered, after swallowing a mouthful of food. "I know this must be hard for you. Take your time."
Her sweet smile put me at ease. I knew she wasn't going to judge me, so I continued.
"I should have known that Christine and I weren't meant to be when she told me she wanted a secret engagement. If she truly loved me, why would she want to hide our love? I figured that Erik had threatened her, so I came up with a plan to get Erik out of the picture completely. Christine begged me not to go through with the plan, but I didn't give her much of a choice. In the end, though, my plan backfired when I gave Christine an ultimatum. She chose to be with Erik over me. Foolishly, I convinced myself that she was being brainwashed and I tried to talk her out of it. Erik pretty much threatened to end my life then and there if I did not leave, so I left, but I was determined to get Christine back."
"He threatened your life?" Elise gasped, brining her napkin to her mouth in horror. "What sort of man does such a terrible thing?"
"Erik is no ordinary man…" I didn't want to lie to her, so I made her promise not to tell anyone else what I was about to say.
"Raoul, I promise," she said solemnly, and leaned in closer to hear me better.
"I am sure you have heard tales about the Phantom that haunts the Paris Opera."
"Oh yes," she replied, nodding her head eagerly.
"Remember, this must remain between us…Erik and the Phantom are one and the same."
I watched as her eyes grew wide with surprise. She gestured frantically for me to continue.
"I knew Erik would make good on his threat, so I left immediately. I was not necessarily afraid of him because he was the famous Opera Ghost, I was afraid because he had taken the woman I loved away from me and I feared I would never see her again."
"Still, though, he shouldn't have threatened you. Although I guess that's what ghosts do," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "So what happened after you left?"
"Our final showdown had taken place in a graveyard, so I hid out of sight and waited for Erik and Christine to leave so I could follow them. Erik must have anticipated this, for multiple carriages exited the graveyard simultaneously, and I never figured out which one carried Erik and Christine. I don't know what I would have done had I actually been able to follow them. I tried to find where they lived, but I failed miserably. I knew it was somewhere under the opera, but I could never get past the image of Joseph Buquet hanging from a noose out of my head, so I never ventured below ground. Oh, I'm sorry," I said, noticing the look of disgust on Elise's face. "I guess corpses aren't an appropriate subject for the dinner table."
"Not really, but continue," she replied after taking a sip of water.
"Anyway, about three weeks after Christine rejected me, I ran into her. She was leaving her old flat, and of course I jumped to the conclusion that she had left Erik and would be returning to me. It was a slap in the face when she told me that she and Erik had been married and she was turning the keys to her flat over to the new owner."
"Oh Raoul," Elise said, reaching out to squeeze my hand in a sisterly kind of way.
"That was the night before you and I first met."
"You mean when you screamed at me for opening the drapes?"
"Yes, now maybe you can understand why I was so upset."
"I thought it also had something to do with all the brandy you had consumed," she said, chuckling.
"That was also a part of it," I conceded. "After that night I did my best to try to put Christine out of my head. I started riding, and little by little the pain of loosing her began to lessen. I never thought I would be able to accept the fact that she was with Erik. I have to confess - I did something very stupid three days ago, however. I saw Christine and followed her home. Don't look at me like that, I just couldn't help myself," I said, noticing her raised eyebrows.
"I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. If I were that obsessed with someone I probably would have followed them, too."
"Obsessed!" I objected. "I wasn't obsessed I was just…"
"You were what?" she prodded.
"Just because we're friends doesn't give you the right to call me obsessed!"
"All right then, I take it back. But if you weren't obsessed, what were you?"
My mind went blank. Maybe she was right, maybe I was obsessed. It sure sounded better than crazy, insane, or mad.
"Fine, I was obsessed," I muttered bitterly. "Do you want me to finish the story, or not?"
"Yes, but don't get your knickers in a bunch about it. I already apologized for calling you obsessed." I could tell she wanted to add "but I was right" at the end of her sentence, and even though she was right, I'm glad she didn't say it.
I didn't know how to tell her the next part. I knew even someone as carefree and non-judgmental as Elise would have a slight problem with my voyeurism, so I decided to leave that part of the story out.
"I had to swim across a nearly-frozen lake to get to the house, and I ended up passing out in the bushes. Erik found me and for some miraculous reason nursed me back to health. He showed me far more hospitality than Christine did. While I was there I saw them interact as husband and wife, and I realized that they were truly meant to be together. I also realized that maybe I wasn't in love with Christine, maybe I just wanted to have a woman by my side and Christine seemed like the easiest choice. I never treated her like a grown woman; I treated her like the little girl I used to be best friends with. I became at peace with the situation, and I stupidly told Christine to forgive me."
"Wait, you told her to forgive you?" Elise interrupted. "Take this little piece of advice, Raoul. Women aren't fond of being told what to do. I know this is a male-dominated society and women are not seen as equals, but we are humans and deserve to be treated with a little bit of respect."
"I know," I sighed. "Erik said something similar."
"Really? I am gaining more respect for the Opera Ghost. First he takes you in and nurses you back to health, and then he stands up for women? I think he made up for threatening your life."
"Anyway," I said, clearing my throat, "your original question was about the meaning of the toast I made last night. Before I left, Christine told me that she may never trust me and that maybe someday we'd be friends again. Then she said I need to forget about her and get to know myself. That's why I toasted 'to finding yourself,' because that's what I need to do."
"It all makes sense now," Elise said after a moment. "I think you're toast was very appropriate for the both of us."
"For both of us?"
"Yes," she said, casting her eyes downward. "I wouldn't mind finding myself, either."
"What do you mean?"
"Let's face it, being a maid isn't exactly a woman's dream job. I also pictured myself doing something glamorous or exciting."
"Like what?"
"I always wanted to dance. I took lessons right up until my family moved to Paris two years ago. I haven't danced since; my mother got a job at an estate and had me help her, which led me to the job at your home. I know it's been a few years, but I'm sure with the proper training I could pick up right where I left off."
"You may have something there," I said, stroking my clean-shaven chin. "I do still patronize the opera, you know. Perhaps I could talk to Madame Giry, she is always looking for promising young dancers."
"You would really do that for me?" she exclaimed.
"Of course I would."
"This calls for a celebration! I am going to have the biggest dessert this place can make!"
"Sounds fine with me," I said, looking for our waiter.
"I'd better eat it now because soon I'll have to start watching my weight so I can fit into gorgeous ballet costumes," she said excitedly.
I waived down our waiter and told him to bring out the two largest pieces of chocolate cake he could find.
Elise picked up her glass of water and raised it in the air.
"To finding ourselves, together," she said cheerfully.