Chapter 3: Fallen Embers

A/N: I'm pulling little parts from the commercial for next weeks episode and making it fit my story. Meredith has just found out that Addison is "pregnant" and that she has lost Derek all over again.

A patient once told me that every time something good happens to a person, two bad things happen to another person. So when something good happens to you, it's your fault that those bad things happen to another human being, and karma gets pissed off and makes you it's next victim. If you had asked me before last night, I would have told you that my patient was all doped up on morphine, and was just talking crazy...but then two bad things happened to me. The love of my life told me that he was having a baby with another woman, and I slept with one of my best friends, because I felt like crap.

Everyone was looking at Meredith as she walked towards the elevator. She knew it was because everyone had found out she had slept with George, and that it she had used him. She didn't think she could feel guiltier until she the elevator doors opened, revealing Derek. She stepped in and stood in silence until the door closed.

"Meredith..."

"Derek, I did something really stupid, and I'm pretty sure that I've lost all of my friends because of it," she said trying to keep back her tears.

"You'll still have me."

"I slept with George last night."

She saw the look of shock and betrayal in his eyes.

"Oh."

"No! You don't get to give me that look! We are not together...you are having a baby! It was a mistake sleeping with George...but you can't give me that look. You of all people...I never gave you that look.

"I know. Everything is such a mess. How did we get here?"

"I have absolutely no idea Dr. Shepard."

"Why did you just call me that? There's no one else in this elevator."

"I think I need to get used to calling you that from now on."

"Please don't do that..." Derek looked at her with deep sincerity, and leaned in to kiss her. The softness of her supple lips made his pulse race. He brought his hand up to her hair, and slid it through. Meredith allowed this sweet kiss to go on for about three seconds, before pulling away.

"We can't do this...you can't keep pulling me along..."

"Tell me what I can do to fix this. I can barely survive without you."

"There is nothing that you can do...you had sex with Addison, and now she's pregnant."

"Oh my God. I'm such an idiot."

"What?"

"I have to go," he replied, as the elevator doors opened. He left her wondering what was going on.

"Just how stupid do you think I am Addison?"

"What do you mean?" She asked puzzled.

"You must have counted on my shock and surprise to overlook the fact that we've never slept together!"

"Of course we've slept together!"

"Not since you came to Seattle we haven't."

"The night that Meredith gave us the dog, we slept together."

"We did not, so if you are pregnant...then you must be cheating on me again."

"Derek..."

"Well? Are you pregnant or not?"

"I'm not pregnant. I just said that so you wouldn't go back to Meredith. I knew that you were going to leave me, so I made it up. I'm so sorry."

"You know that's probably the only thing we have in common...the ability to say I'm so sorry, but not the ability to own up to our mistakes. Well my mistake was staying with you. I may have lost the love of my life all over again, because of you. I won't be home tonight, and the next time I do come home, I don't want you to be there."

"Derek, please...don't say that."

"What you are Addison...doesn't even matter anymore...just go."

"Derek!"

"Good bye Addison," Derek said as he walked away looking for Meredith.

Meredith was about to tell a young wife that her husband died on the operating table, and she contemplated the death of her relationship. She knew that it was hardly anything in comparison, but at the same time she couldn't stop thinking about it. He left her so abruptly. Was Addison lying? Maybe she wasn't pregnant. She laughed at that silly thought, but hoping deep in her soul that it was true. If there was even the tiniest chance that she could have her life back, she wanted it.

"Mrs. Monroe? Do you remember me? I'm Meredith Grey...I assisted on your husband's case."

"Umm, yeah...you're the one who looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders."

"Mrs. Monroe, I have to tell you that..."

"He died...I know."

"But...how? Who told you?"

"I just knew. When you find your soul mate, and something happens to that person, a silent alarm goes off in your heart. It's like half of you is dying, and that hurts a lot."

"I am so sorry."

"Thank you."

He saw here leaving the waiting room. He stopped in his tracks, to ponder the moment. Was he really going to be able to be with Meredith?

"Mer," Derek called out in front of everyone in the hallway.

"I asked you not to call me that Dr. Shepard," she responded bluntly.

"It was all a lie. I knew it had to be...because I never did anything to make it possible. I just was too caught up in the moment to remember that."

"You mean...you never?" She asked as the tears swelled in her eyes. Derek moved closer to her and replied,

"I couldn't. It wasn't you."

"My heart hurts so much. I don't know if it can be repaired."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing that I am an amazing surgeon."

"You can't leave me again. Because every time you leave..."

"Half of me dies too."

"How did you know I was about to say that?"

"Soul mates share a special connection Mer."

Without hesitation she embraced him in the middle of the hallway, and allowed him to kiss her in front of everyone.

"I think we've defeated fate. Or maybe karma..."

"Well, all I care is that you are in my arms again, and I am never going to let you go."

"Well I have rounds to finish, so you kind of have to let me go."

"Oh, right. Okay, yeah...work. That thing we do."

"Meet me tonight at my place...we need to catch up for lost time."

"I'll see you tonight." He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead and rushed away.

Later that night, when Meredith got home, she found a note on the table.

Meredith,

Apparently I was wrong. I think that my impression of you was clouded, and that I allowed myself to be stupid enough to think that you cared. I'm sorry that I put you on this pedestal, because it certainly was not my intention. I think it's best for everyone, including myself, if I leave. I've packed up my stuff, and well I guess I'll be seeing you.

p.s. I heard that you and McDreamy are back together. I hope that you are finally happy. I'm just sorry that I couldn't help you.

-George

"What have I done?"

A patient of mine once said that karma gets pissed off when something good happens to you. I'm starting to think that he really was all drugged up on morphine, because the bad things that happen to me are completely my doing. Maybe karma doesn't exist...maybe we are set on self-destruct, and we do this to ourselves.