Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: It took me a bit longer than usual but this chapter is just about double-sized anyway. First thing I should say is that there will NOT be any significant Deathly Hallows spoilers in here. I myself have only read about half the book. And I decided I want to finish writing this before I read the rest of it. I've read the spoilers, so don't fear spoiling anything in a review, but just for those wondering, there won't be hardly any Deathly Hallows incorporation here. Maybe I'll drop in a veiled joke for those familiar with it, but no spoilers.
And one thing I will say is that when I end a chapter on a cliffie, I'm going to definitely try and get the next chapter out within a week. (That wasn't foreshadowing at all. Ahem. Right. Moving on.)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Ginny floated down to check out the kitchen and found that it wasn't empty.
Bellatrix looked up and caught the gaze of the tentative ghost. "Hello," she greeted.
"Hi," Ginny succinctly replied.
Neither was sure what to make of the other. After an awkward silence they both began at the same time, "So…"
"Sorry," Ginny apologized first. "Go ahead."
"No, no," Bellatrix shook her head. "I'm not even sure what I was going to say but it probably would have been something dumb. Please, what were you saying?"
"Right," Ginny said knowing she too was just trying to fill the air. "I was just gonna say, sleeping with Moony, eh? How's that going?"
"Hmm," Bellatrix wondered. "I guess it's been… productive?"
"Well that's…" Ginny paused thinking most males would not take that as a sterling endorsement on their sexual prowess. She settled on finishing, "…good."
"Don't get me wrong," Bellatrix explained. "The process is pleasant."
"Pleasant," Ginny repeated.
"Pleasurable even," Bellatrix said. "That's a better description. It's just… I mean I've had sex with people that hate me before."
"Naturally," Ginny agreed thinking how limited Bellatrix's options would be if she didn't sleep with people that hate her.
Bellatrix frowned and continued, "But I guess with Remus, it's like he hates himself just as much."
"You don't mind that he's a werewolf?" Ginny inquired wondering if Bellatrix was letting her membership in the cruel and racist club expire.
Bellatrix shrugged. "I suppose I'd rather he wasn't, but so would Remus. I'm just glad my baby-daddy is someone the Lords Black like. I'll take the sperm however it comes."
"Huh," Ginny chuckled uneasily at the pun. "That's funny."
Bellatrix sighed and exasperatedly said, "You know I'm fine with you hating me for no reason, right?"
"Oh good," Ginny said in relief. "I mean I kinda felt bad, considering everybody hates you. And I didn't really want to pile on but… it is you."
Bellatrix looked closer at Ginny. "I didn't kill you, did I?"
Ginny shook her head.
"Because that might actually explain a few things."
"Nope," Ginny assured her. "You didn't kill me. I know who killed me. And Harry killed him."
"Anyone I know?" Bellatrix asked.
Ginny quickly quieted. "Don't think you ever met him."
"Alright," Bellatrix agreed recognizing the ghost's reticence. "Let's change the subject."
Ginny floated there for a moment and suggested, "Or I could just leave."
"Wait," Bellatrix pleaded. "I…"
"Yes?"
"I wanted to ask you something, and please, don't take this personally. I don't mean to offend you."
Ginny shrugged. "I already hate you."
"Good point," Bellatrix replied. "And like I said don't take this personally, but… are you, that is, I guess… Alright, I'm just going to say it. Are you a Weasley?"
Ginny harrumphed. "What's so bad about Weasleys?"
"Oh-kay," Bellatrix backed away. "That answers that question."
"Maybe there haven't been quite so many homicidal psychotic bitches in the Weasley family as in some families, but…"
"Do you not remember your mother at all?" Harry jokingly asked from the door.
Ginny turned back towards Harry. "Hey now, she wasn't… homicidal."
Harry looked at Ginny and said nothing.
"Okay there was that one time," Ginny admitted. "But that shouldn't count."
Harry looked at Ginny curiously. "Are you implying your mother was a psychotic bitch?"
"You didn't live with her through menopause."
Harry winced imagining how well Molly Weasley would have accepted that. "Point taken."
"I was just wondering because you look like a Weasley," Bellatrix explained. "And there's so damn many of you I wouldn't be surprised if your parents couldn't keep track of them all."
Harry chuckled.
Ginny frowned at Harry. "I thought you loved the Weasleys."
"With as much as he loves and as many as there are," Bellatrix retorted. "It's almost mathematically impossible for him not to have at least once or twice."
"Hey," Harry intelligently defended.
"I'm not talking about whoring himself around like a whorey whore," Ginny snapped. "This is just a phase until he comes to terms with my death."
"Really?" Bellatrix asked skeptically. She looked at Harry and asked, "Is that why you're such a slut?"
"He's not a bigger slut than me," Sirius jumped in as he walked up behind Harry.
Harry just shook his head. "We're going to get a little work done. We'll be back this afternoon. You're not going anywhere, are you?"
"I'm going to go that muggle store to buy some pregnancy tests," Bellatrix said. "But other than that, I'll be here."
"Be careful," Harry said. "Those two Death Eaters are still camping out across the street last I checked."
"Peed on them this morning," Sirius asserted.
"And while they seem content to just observe us," Harry explained pointing at himself and Sirius. "I'm not sure you're going to get extended similar kindness."
"Although," Sirius happily suggested. "If you decide that you want to die-"
"Let's go," Harry interrupted grabbing onto Sirius apparating them both away with a crack.
Bellatrix turned towards Ginny. "Looks like it's just you and me."
Ginny looked at Bellatrix curiously before she too felt a tug and was sent careening through the ether towards wherever Harry had apparated off too.
"Or just me," Bellatrix corrected to herself. She began to wonder over how quickly she was able to clear a room. She took a careful sniff of her own armpits before realizing what she was doing. "I just want anyone invisibly watching me right now to know that that wasn't what it looked like. But I won't explain it, until you reveal yourselves."
Bellatrix was a mixture of relieved and disappointed when no one came forward.
"Why wait until tonight?" Sirius said looking through his magical omnioculars. "We could probably take care of this before dinner."
Harry saw Ginny had stayed visible and tagged along. He answered, "Because he's got a mission tonight and I'd rather save the larceny until after our dinner with… them."
"Tell me again why you're robbing this guy?" Ginny asked, pretending to lay down on the edge of Harry's chair.
"Because he's a Death Eater and we've never heard of him," Sirius answered.
"What's his name?" Ginny inquired, being careful not to yell right in Harry's ear.
"Alan Weston," Harry replied.
"Never heard of him," Ginny agreed. "So why him?"
"Because we're manly men and we like challenges," Sirius assured her looking at the property with his omnioculars.
Harry flipped a twig at Sirius and explained, "Because he's got better wards here than a crappy looking place like that should have. Which to me says there's something worth stealing in there."
"I think we can call it official," Sirius announced. "No house elves and I still haven't been able to make out a painting yet."
"Did you get any fun names from your interrogation of Bella, besides of course the mysterious Alan Weston?" Ginny asked pointing towards the veiled property she couldn't see.
"Probably the most interesting one was a name I didn't get," Harry said.
"He counts," Sirius moaned.
Harry was enjoying Sirius' frustration and looked over at the ghost. "It appears in this world Severus Snape never joined the Death Eaters."
"What?" Ginny asked. "Really?"
"He counts," Sirius repeated.
Harry was quite amused. "Apparently, they turned him down."
Sirius went from grumbling to alert and indignant immediately. "You never mentioned that part!"
"I enjoyed it more knowing you didn't know," Harry said with a snicker. "I never even considered that the Dark Lord could say no."
Sirius was torn between staring down Harry and laughing out loud to think Severus tried to join the Death Eaters and got rejected.
"Apparently, it drove him straight to Dumbledore," Harry said. "In fairness, he was still in school at the time so Dumbledore may have just been close by."
"That's awesome," Sirius exclaimed happily.
"Well I'm glad to hear you think so," Harry said with a grin. "Because I told Lily you were hoping to talk Potions with him over dinner. She made sure that you'll get to sit next to Severus."
Sirius' face fell. "That's not even funny, Harry."
"The rumor is that when Snape heard the news, he actually smiled," Harry calmly explained. "If that's true, then you're probably his best friend."
Sirius' mouth twitched. "Okay, maybe it's a little funny."
Ginny entertained herself by poking her ghostly finger through Harry's shoulder.
Sirius acted unconcerned and asked, "You were kidding, right?"
Harry glanced at Sirius, said nothing, and turned back towards the wards of the property with a smug smile.
"Ha-ha, point made," Sirius rambled. "No Snivellus though, right? Right? Just tell me, dammit!"
Harry could not stop smiling at the mere sight of the first real home that he remembered. Since he had last seen the castle, he'd gained a new appreciation for ward work and Hogwarts was a real treat. The Hogwarts wards reminded Harry of Swiss cheese made of steel. The wards were as solid as any in the world, excusing the obvious and gigantic holes. It wasn't long before the wards were just too bright and Harry was forced to cancel his oculamagi spell.
"Hey Harry?" Sirius tried to sound jovial but the worry was apparent in his voice. "You're not going to break down and cry like a sissy, are you?"
Harry stopped walking and turned to his godfather.
"Because I mean when you become a pathetic blubbering mess and start calling her Mum-"
Harry cast a silencing charm around them and put a hand on Sirius to keep him from walking away. "Stop. Look at me, Padfoot."
Sirius turned to look at Harry. He saw how humorless Harry's expression was and suggested, "If you want to tell them the truth…"
"Do you want to tell them?" Harry asked, already knowing the answer. "This is your secret too."
Sirius paused almost afraid to be the cause of Harry's theoretical emotional distress.
"Relax. I know I've always been indifferent to telling the Potters who we are," Harry explained. "But let me reiterate what should have been abundantly clear by now. You, Sirius, mean a lot more to me than James and Lily do."
"Lily and James," Sirius softly corrected. "It sounds nicer saying her name first because she's a better person."
"Lily and James," Harry repeated with a grin, while keeping his hand on his godfather's shoulder and looking him right in the eye. "Lily and James are not my parents. My parents died a long time ago. My parents were a couple of your best friends." Harry pointed up towards the castle. "Those two people barely know you. They had to grieve for a lost baby and have since raised a couple more kids in a family that never existed in our old world. Treating them like my parents is an insult to my parents' memory."
Sirius was about to respond but Harry put up a hand to stop him.
"I highly doubt my real parents would begrudge me if I did treat this Lily and James like parents," Harry explained. "But it matters to me. And while I'd like to get to know Lily and James, they are not and never will be my parents. Nor will they ever be as important to me as my godfather, the person my parents chose to look after me in their absence."
Sirius' eyes were getting a little watery as he couldn't keep the smile off his face. "I love you, kid," Sirius exclaimed hugging Harry as tight as he had the first time he'd seen him in this world.
"I love you too," Harry said hugging Sirius back. He pulled back and looked Sirius in the eye again. "Now do us both a favor," Harry grabbed Sirius' chin to make sure he was paying complete attention to him. "Act like a fucking man, you little bitch."
Sirius pretended to be offended as Harry spun him around.
Harry slapped his godfather on the ass and said, "Besides, it looks like your new best friend is headed this way."
Sirius' eyes widened and he turned back to Harry fearfully. "Why is Snivellus walking this way? Why Harry, why?"
Harry just smiled saying nothing and canceled his silencing charm.
Severus spotted the two men ahead of him and was trying to avoid eye contact.
"Listen," Sirius explained pointing straight towards Severus Snape as he approached. "I don't know hardly anything about Potions and Harry here's a very cruel liar. I don't even like Potions."
Severus had been hoping to avoid them completely when Sirius addressed him with his absurd declarations. Severus responded in disgust, "Don't talk to me. Ever." He then veered around the two Lord Blacks and continued stalking in the direction he had been headed.
"He was just walking to the greenhouses," Harry happily said to his godfather. "Kind of an odd way for you to greet him, don't you think?"
Sirius felt as much like an idiot as he felt relief that Harry had only been joking earlier. "You're a dick."
Harry snickered. "Exactly what were you thinking when you saw that Snivellus was carrying flowers?"
"I saw my lunch flash before my eyes," Sirius answered turning to walk towards the Entrance Hall. "Oh, here they come."
Lily Potter, James Potter Jr., and Albus Dumbledore were all walking out to greet the Lords Black.
Harry stopped and whispered, "You really think wearing a Dementor's cloak would have sent the wrong message?"
"You passed out after wearing it for three minutes," Sirius reminded quietly from the corner of his mouth.
"Three and a half," Harry argued.
"Yeah," Sirius decided. "That's the wrong message. And you owe me for this."
"Greetings," Albus loudly said as the two Potters and he approached. "Lord Black and Lord Black. I'm delighted to see you accepted Professor Potter's invitation."
Harry could feel his mother's approach and tried to pretend there was nothing out of the ordinary. "Please Headmaster, for tonight, I'm Harry and he's Sirius."
Sirius noticed Harry slinking away and slapped him hard on the shoulder in a friendly gesture, while adding, "But unless you count his back, he's not really hairy. And I am rarely serious."
"Oof," Harry groaned, partly from the smack and partly from Sirius' line. "Can't you not crack a name joke, just once?"
Albus' eyes were twinkling as he added, "If it makes you feel any better, I've never been more than two-thirds bus. Further proof there really is no truth in advertising."
Jimmy, Harry, and Sirius all turned towards the Headmaster in silent disbelief.
Albus saw the looks he was receiving and how Lily seemed transfixed just at the sight of Harry. "Yes well, I believe you have already met our Head Boy, James Potter, and this is his mother, our Professor of Muggle Studies, Lily Potter."
Lily felt the monster in her chest rising up and didn't realize she was staring until Jimmy elbowed her and whispered, "Mum!"
"I'm sorry," Lily said suddenly paying attention again. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Harry, Sirius," she greeted and shook both their hands.
"You too," Sirius said, enjoying Harry's silent discomfort.
"If the stories my son has been telling me are true, Harry," Lily smiled warmly, "then I'd hate to be your mother."
"What?" Harry blurted out before he could stop himself.
Lily kept the pleasant smile on her face as she explained, "The scars, the adventures, the danger? She must have been worried silly."
"Oh," Harry said, trying to act casual and failing. "Yeah, well she handled it pretty well considering-"
Sirius coughed and interrupted Harry, noticing Harry was sweating already.
Harry glanced at his godfather and helpfully explained with a smile, "She died when I was one."
"Oh," Lily stopped smiling and felt bad for being so insensitive.
Harry saw Lily's face fall and tried to make her feel better, "My dad too." Immediately after Harry said it, he wondered why he thought that would make her feel better.
Lily found herself pitying and sympathizing for Harry and added to the fun. "My firstborn son died."
Everyone turned to her in surprise.
Lily saw them look at her and quickly explained, "He was one as well." She belatedly realized that this was not the best way to lighten the mood.
The group of five were all exchanging looks at the awkward direction of the night's first conversation.
Sirius finally broke the silence. "I had a goldfish once."
"Sirius, stop," Harry jumped in before his godfather could get going.
"Okay," Sirius agreed not really wanting to dredge up painful memories of Goldie.
"How about a tour?" Albus said cheerfully changing the subject.
"We're not going to be eating with the students, are we?" Harry said as they all began to follow Albus. "Because I'm not big on being on display and Sirius could very well spend the whole time looking inappropriately at the seventh years."
"No," Albus chuckled, apparently unconcerned about an older man taking advantage of his students. "We'll be dining in a private chamber connected to my office. Though we are expecting James Potter and Remus and Tonks Lupin to join us when James' and Tonks' shifts end. I believe you have met them a few times. And Sarah Potter was called away with Madame Pomfrey to St. Mungos, but she may be able to join us as well."
"Oh good, James," Sirius said. "I think he's starting to warm up to me."
Jimmy made no effort to hide his derisive snort as he walked next to Harry.
Lily felt the need to defend her husband and explained, "You remind him too much of his best friend." Lily paused and observed Sirius for a couple seconds. "And now having met you, I can see the resemblance is uncanny."
"Really," Sirius said turning away to look at the castle as they slowly walked. "I hear that's pretty common among relatives."
"I suppose you do kind of look like him," Lily continued. "But I was referring to the way you carry yourself and your attitude. Sharing a name doesn't help matters either."
"Quite the co-inky-dink," Harry said pausing to look around and avoid the subject. "So this is… a hallway?"
"Yeah, tour?" Sirius said stopping to face Albus.
Albus was smiling mischievously and said, "I was going to explain to you the history of the Entrance Hall, but when you both kept walking I thought I'd see where you were leading us."
"Oops," Sirius said looking at Harry who had been also walking through Hogwarts forgetting that they weren't supposed to know their way around. "I thought I was following you."
"And I thought I was following you," Harry said nodding at Albus.
"It is always interesting the places our feet will take us," Albus assured them. "And you were quite correct. This is a hallway."
"Fascinating," Harry said looking around.
"Actually, it is an interesting story as you'll notice the shift in color here," Albus began to explain while pointing at the wall. "The stone in this section of the hallway is only about seven centuries old. Contrary to popular belief, many-"
"Oww!" Jimmy yelped out attracting everyone's attention as he rubbed the area of his arm that had been pinched by an invisible arm.
Albus had stopped and looked towards Jimmy while glancing at the others. "Is something the matter?"
"No, I…" Jimmy trailed off at the look from Harry and quickly corrected. "Sorry! I just remembered I need to talk to Harry privately about a project. And with dinner and everything, I figured I should get it out of the way now."
"Perhaps we all could be of assistance?" Albus offered.
"No," Jimmy insisted. "That's a bad idea because…" He looked to Harry for help.
Harry rolled his eyes and jumped in. "Jimmy had some research questions about the uniqueness of magic and my magic in particular. I don't want to be a sideshow freak, so I agreed to help him understand singular magical phenomena as long as we avoid specifics. You guys go on with the tour. We'll catch up."
Albus frowned. "I really would rather we-"
"Surely the Head Boy won't be getting lost," Harry interrupted. "If your unease comes from my secretive nature, just have Fawkes keep an eye on us."
Albus tilted his head down to look at Harry and the very nervous looking James Potter Jr. without the buffer of his glasses. "I am sorry to say I cannot just order Fawkes to-"
He was interrupted by the flash of fire and sudden appearance of the phoenix in question.
"Looks like the flying puppy comes when called," Harry said with a smile.
Albus looked on in surprise when his companion didn't seem to take offense. "Fawkes?"
Fawkes was staring at Harry and flew over to his shoulder, nodding at Albus.
Harry reached up a hand to pet the phoenix only to see the bird was tilting to its side, clearly lifting its leg like a puppy.
"Don't even think about it," Harry said pointing at the bird.
Fawkes put both legs down and gripped tightly, pinching Harry.
Harry winced while acting overly masculine, as if he was unaffected by a minor pinch. "Great then," Harry gasped quietly as Fawkes tightened his hold. "Jimmy, you said something about an unused classroom you picked out?"
"Yeah," Jimmy agreed with a hop in his step. "Follow me."
"We'll wait for you in the library," Lily called out towards her son.
They hurried down the corridor and around a corner. Jimmy was going to continue down towards the dungeons when Harry jerked on his arm and said, "This way."
Harry stopped and saw they were clear. "Did you bring the invisibility cloak?"
"I'm trying to go with the flow like your letter said," Jimmy explained. "But I don't have an invisibility cloak. My dad does but I can't afford one."
"He didn't give it to you?" Harry asked in shock. "That's wrong on so many levels."
Jimmy shrugged. "He seems to think I'd just use it to get into trouble."
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "But with the cloak you wouldn't get caught so it's not really trouble."
Jimmy chuckled. "I don't think Dad would go for that argument."
"Make sure no one's coming," Harry instructed as he unshrunk his satchel and pulled out his own invisibility cloak. "I just brought one, so we're going to have to huddle."
Harry still had Fawkes on his shoulder and pulled the cloak over the three of them. Jimmy inched closer but still the cloak didn't even reach their knees.
"That's not gonna work," Harry stated.
"I can be disillusioned."
"No, that's too obvious when you're running," Harry said.
Jimmy took a step back and asked, "I'm going to be running?"
Harry took a moment to think about it and shrugged. "I wouldn't rule it out."
Fawkes vanished in a burst of flame from under the cloak only to reappear right on top of it and clamp back down on Harry's shoulder. The cloak settled down almost to their ankles.
Harry looked up through the haze of the cloak at the mischievous bird and smiled. "That'll work. We'll just have to hunch a bit."
They slowly began to sneak their way down the hallway.
"Hey Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"How come Fawkes wasn't offended when you called him a flying puppy? I thought phoenixes were proud creatures."
Harry looked up at the bird on his shoulder. He explained, "Fawkes wasn't offended because he knows I like phoenixes and just said that to annoy him. And he also knows that acting like it doesn't bother him annoys me right back. But I know how much it really irritates-OWW!" Harry shrieked as the phoenix's claws dug into his shoulder.
"Shh," Jimmy said from Harry's other side. "Someone's coming."
Two young girls came walking around the corner and stopped at the sight of a mysteriously floating phoenix.
Harry tapped Jimmy on the shoulder and they slowly continued walking down the hall towards the two girls.
"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" The first girl asked her friend in glasses.
The second girl with glasses took off her spectacles and wiped them clean on her robe. She put her glasses back on. "Phoenixes are birds. Of course they can fly."
"Yeah but usually they have to flap their wings!"
The girl with glasses squinted at the approaching creature. "That is odd."
Harry and Jimmy silently walked right past the two girls who were just staring at Fawkes in fascination. The girls felt special knowing how few people were lucky enough to see a phoenix floating so close.
Harry held up his finger telling Jimmy to be quiet. As soon as they were past the girls and Fawkes' back was facing them, Harry loudly intoned, "There's a lot you don't know about phoenixes."
"Ahh!" the first girl shrieked in fright as she began to run down the hall.
"They speak English!" the one in glasses exclaimed chasing after her friend. "And in a surprisingly deep voice!"
"Ahh!" was her friend's only response.
Harry was holding onto Jimmy who was cracking up next to him. He could feel Fawkes amusement as well. "Come on. Don't get the giggles on me."
They managed to make their way to down to the second floor girls' bathroom that was widely known to be haunted.
"Your adventure for me is to sneak into the girls' bathroom?" Jimmy asked worriedly. He indignantly added, "And not even one of the high traffic ones?"
"Shh," Harry said. "I don't particularly want to talk to Myrtle so keep it down."
Once they were in the room Harry cast a locking charm on the door, ensuring privacy. He gave Fawkes a brief warning and whipped the invisibility cloak off. "No," Harry explained after double-checking that the bathroom was empty. "I thought I'd take you somewhere legendary. And you know, hopefully not get either of us killed."
"Legendary?" Jimmy perked up. He watched Harry reach down to a sink and hiss in parseltongue at it. Jimmy's voice cracked a little as he asked, "Killed?"
Harry took a step back and smiled as the sinks began shifting to reveal a huge pipe. "This, my friend, is the entrance to Salazar Slytherin's Chamber of Secrets."
"A girls' bathroom?" Jimmy repeated incredulously.
Harry shrugged. "I'm not one to judge, but I figure there's a story behind it."
Jimmy walked up to the edge and saw no end to the pipe in the darkness.
Harry looked down the hole and explained, "It's a test of faith. It looks like a never-ending hole, and anything you test it with will act as if it's a hole," Harry added when Jimmy tossed an old bar of soap into the pipe.
"But if you have faith that the platform is there, and you take a full step right on to it, it's there." Harry saw Jimmy getting focused and held up a hand to stop him. "Don't step on the platform until you're sure."
Jimmy took another deep breath and looked straight at Harry, refusing to even look down the pipe when he stepped forward.
Harry was going to remember for a long time the face that Jimmy made when he tumbled head first down the pipe. He listened for Jimmy's shrieking to reach the end. He looked at Fawkes, "You want to ride with me?"
Fawkes shook his head.
"Didn't think so," Harry said. He shut his mouth and squeezed his nose as he slid down the massive pipe.
He let his body sway with the motions as he slipped down the dusty, grimy pipe. Listening carefully and remembering the fall, Harry held his arms out and slowed himself down just as he reached the bottom. He managed to gracefully land on his feet right in the middle of his first step forward.
Harry grinned brightly. "Didn't have enough faith, did you?"
"There never was a platform, was there?" Jimmy said in resignation.
"Certainly not with that attitude."
Jimmy cast a cleansing charm on Harry without prompting. "I gotta say, as secret chambers go, so far, I'm unimpressed."
"We got a few pipes to walk through," Harry said drawing his wand and taking the lead. "And do me a favor."
"Yeah?"
"If you see anything moving, close your eyes, and go fetal. Alright?"
Jimmy had been walking with Harry and stopped right where he was. "Excuse me?"
"As a favor to me," Harry urged.
Jimmy quickly thought back to what he knew of Salazar's not so mythical chamber. "Isn't this chamber supposed to house a monster of some sort? And I know some words can get twisted through time but monster is a pretty clear one."
Harry reluctantly nodded. "Hence the close your eyes and go fetal."
"What are we doing down here anyway?"
"Well…" Harry admitted. "I kinda don't think the monster is here. And I figured I'd just take a peek and see if it is."
"We're here looking for the monster?"
Harry turned back at Jimmy and nodded, pointing to the side.
Jimmy moved away from the door while Harry hissed another parseltongue password. Jimmy verbally agreed, "Closing my eyes and going fetal sounds like a pretty good plan."
"Hey Fawkes?" Harry called out as the phoenix flew up. "Keep an eye on the kid, would you?"
"I'm not a kid," Jimmy argued. As Harry walked through the circular serpent like door, Jimmy turned to the phoenix and whispered, "Anything happens and you get me out of there. If I die, it's your fault."
Jimmy hurried to catch up with Fawkes hanging on to him. "I'm not a kid, Harry."
"You do realize you're Head Boy at a school for children?"
Jimmy silently pouted.
"Relax Jimmy," Harry said as he spotted an old decaying massive shed skin. "I call you a kid the same way I call Fawkes a…"
"A flying puppy?"
"I used that one already," Harry paused still thinking about it. He snapped his fingers in success, "An Augurey with a combustion problem."
Jimmy winced, "Oww Fawkes. Redirect that anger at him not me. Him." Jimmy almost tripped and looked to the ground. "What is this? Some kind of fungal growth?"
Harry glanced at his unofficial brother.
"It covers almost this entire pipe," Jimmy stated as he bent down to break a piece of it off. "And it doesn't tear at all."
"It's not a fungus," Harry assured him. "You don't recognize this?"
"Its texture looks like a repeating pattern."
"It's skin, Jimmy."
"Skin?" Jimmy repeated doubtfully. "No way. This thing is thick and huge. Not even the largest Horntail gets this size. And usually only snakes…" Jimmy trailed off taking a step back. He looked all the way down the pipe in both directions realizing just how big the faux fungal growth was. "Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"You wouldn't really put my life in danger, right?"
"Of course not."
"So this isn't the shed skin of basilisk big enough to use us as toothpicks, right?"
Harry paused before answering, "I wouldn't really put your life in danger."
"Harry."
"Besides, basilisks can't use toothpicks. They have no arms."
"This one might! It's probably big enough to have evolved."
"Don't be silly," Harry said getting to the last door before the main chamber. "But don't forget that 'close your eyes and go fetal' plan either."
"You're supposed to be assuring me and comforting me. Not scaring me."
Harry stepped into the main chamber and saw the rows and rows of carved serpents. "Sure thing, kid."
Jimmy held his tongue while Fawkes gripped him tighter. "I get it, Fawkes. I'm pretending it doesn't bother me." He looked down the hall at all the carved snakes. "Whoa."
"I know," Harry softly said, looking around for any signs of recent life. "A lot of work for something he didn't want anyone else to see."
"This really is the Chamber of Secrets," Jimmy said walking up to one of the hooded snake statues.
"And that really was a basilisk skin, so keep it down," Harry said approaching the giant bust of Salazar himself. Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he hissed, "Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four. Open your giant gaping maw, you bloated arrogant blowhard."
Jimmy was unable to contain the girlish shriek he let out when the mouth of the giant head started to open. He sprinted away to hide around the nearest statue, closed his eyes, and assumed a fetal position.
Harry saw Jimmy dash around the corner and glanced into the opening of Slytherin's mouth. He quickly decided he'd seen enough.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god," Harry started chanting as he sprinted past where Jimmy was peeking between his fingers. "Run! Go! Green light!"
Jimmy shot to his feet and was sprinting with everything he had until he finally caught up with Harry, who turned to him and said, "Red light!" Harry skidded to a stop as Jimmy kept running.
Jimmy slowed down and turned around in confusion. He saw Harry leaning forward catching his breath. "What… what…"
"You've never played red light, green light?"
"What?"
"Just wanted to see if you were faster than me," Harry panted out. "You definitely are when you're scared, that's for sure."
"No monster?"
Harry shook his head. "Nah. It's gone. There's a layer of dust everywhere. It hasn't been here for years."
"Are you sure?" Jimmy asked carefully peering around Harry.
"Yup," Harry said. "I saw a spider in Salazar's giant nostril as it rose. No spider would be anywhere near a basilisk."
"Oh," Jimmy said, a little disappointed. "Is that it?"
"That's it."
"Huh," Jimmy said. "I was expecting more."
"Yeah, sorry about that," Harry agreed leading the way back out of the chamber. "Next time, near death. That's a promise."
Jimmy was beginning to feel the adrenaline leave his system and wasn't so sure how he felt about that promise. "You said something about payment?"
"Only the most valuable goods for this particular institution," Harry said. "Two bottles of firewhiskey and the last three issues of Pumpin' Kin."
Jimmy snickered as he stepped over the giant shed skin. He cast a pair of severing charms and grabbed himself a single scale as a souvenir. "I'll take the firewhiskey. You can keep the magazines."
"Are you sure?" Harry asked skeptically. "A male your age should never turn down porn. That's just unhealthy. If saucy pureblooded cousins aren't your thing-"
"It's not that."
"You know there's blokes in there too," Harry explained. "I don't need to know nothing."
"Stop eyeing me Harry and no," Jimmy confidently ordered. "I don't need them because I got a subscription. There's a guy at the post office who forwards that stuff for a galleon."
Harry felt those brotherly feelings of pride stirring inside him. "Good work, kid. Good work." They reached the entrance again and Harry looked up. "You mind giving us a lift, Fawkes?"
Fawkes condescendingly glared at Harry.
"I've got a broom in case you were feeling moody," Harry explained. "I wasn't using you or forcing you to be our flying flaming mule."
Fawkes chirped and lifted Jimmy up into the air. Harry grabbed on as the phoenix flew them up and out of the tunnel.
Harry passed Jimmy the two shrunken bottles of firewhiskey and decided to forego the invisibility cloak. "Tell no one about this, got it?"
"I got it," Jimmy said confidently as they exited Myrtle's haunted bathroom. They'd walked about ten seconds before Fawkes hopped off Jimmy and onto Harry's shoulder.
Jimmy tentatively requested, "Can I… can I ask you something, Harry?"
"Sure," Harry said taking a right towards the library.
"Do you have the hots for my mum? Because it's never gonna happen."
Harry stumbled but regained his composure. "Good god, no. There is no chance in hell that would ever happen."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jimmy asked. "She's a very lovely witch."
"Stop and think about what you're arguing," Harry said patting him on the back to assure him. "Trust me. I'm as attracted to your mum as you are."
"Okay," Jimmy accepted, "creepy but okay. So then why the hell did you get that lovesick drooling idiot look when you met her? And why did she get it too?"
Harry got the feeling he was pretty much cementing his own special place in hell. "What can I say? It's not like I can turn this sex appeal off like a light. This body just looks good whether I want it to or not."
Jimmy cringed. "I'm sorry I asked."
The pair of young men and the phoenix walked back into the library and found the rest of their group.
"And this is the library," Jimmy instructed waving towards the stacks pretending to be a tour guide.
"What do you call these strange box shaped things?" Harry inquired.
"Those are called books."
"Books," Harry repeated. "I've heard of those."
"Harry," Sirius pleadingly greeted. "You missed some absolutely enchanting stories."
"Lord Harry Black," Albus introduced. "I would like you to meet my Deputy Headmistress, Professor of Transfiguration, Minerva McGonagall."
"Pleasure," Harry said shaking his old Head of House's hand.
"Sirius was asking some interesting questions about animagi forms," Minerva said shaking his hand.
"Purely hypothetical, of course," Harry said.
"I was just telling him about the common misconception that animagi forms are restricted to the animal world," Minerva stated.
"I keep telling Sirius his form is probably a brick."
"Hypothetically," Sirius added.
"Hypothetically," Harry agreed.
Minerva shook her head in amusement. "I have not heard of inanimate objects ever being an innate form, but there have been numerous insects and a few other magical entities that have taken the place of a more traditional form."
"Well I was thinking of a real shiny brick," Harry explained as if it would make a difference.
"Speaking of food," Sirius said, "we about ready for dinner?" Sirius nodded to Harry and added, "I informed them that we had plans later this evening and would have to leave by nine."
"Bricks make you think of food?" Jimmy asked when it seemed no one else was going to.
Sirius just nodded. "Dementors too."
Harry nodded in understanding. "Yeah, Sirius' cooking is really bad."
"Why don't we head to my office and wait for the rest of our guests," Albus suggested. "I believe the Lupins and Mr. Potter are due any moment now."
"I cannot believe you!" Harry shouted at James Potter.
"No, no," James insisted. "You're not listening to me."
"Oh I hear the words coming out of your mouth, they just don't make any sense," Harry retorted.
"I can prove it to you," James argued, unaware his voice was getting louder.
"Gentlemen, please," Albus interjected trying to calm the two men down.
"Oh you think you can prove it?" Harry said looking his father up and down. "Even at your age?"
"Alright, that's it," James snapped throwing his napkin down and getting up. "Let's go. You and me. Right now."
"No!" Lily shouted over the two men. "We're trying to have a nice dinner here."
"Sorry, honey," James said dropping his head in respect.
"See?" Harry triumphantly exclaimed. "Even your wife knows the Hawkshead is an inherently flawed defensive formation."
"If the other team is doing any kind of looping," James continued in spite of Lily's protests, "then there's no way a Ploy is getting past and it eats up Parkin's Pincers like nobody's business."
Sirius sighed. He knew Harry and James were very different people. He knew Harry would rub James the wrong way just as he had rubbed James the wrong way. And yet even still, two very different men could always find common ground arguing about Quidditch.
Rather than risk losing Harry, Sirius knew how to nip this discussion in the bud. "Personally, I like Quodpot better."
James stifled a gasp and looked right at Sirius, narrowing his eyes. "You would."
"Don't listen to him," Harry assured the others at dinner. "He doesn't like Quodpot better. He just doesn't want us talking about Quidditch."
"Thank you, Sirius," Lily said. "I'll have to remember that one."
Sirius saw Remus and Tonks were both enjoying his frustration. He figured he'd try and stir the pot some. "So Remus, how do you like working with the Weasley twins?" Sirius turned towards James as he explained, "You know, making a career of jokes and pranks."
Remus was amused as he looked between the two and answered. "It's actually very similar to any standard retail outlet. Fred and George have shrewd business acumen to go with their imaginations."
James looked inordinately pleased when that answer made Sirius frown.
"But it definitely is a lot more fun," Remus continued and saw Sirius grinning while James frowned. "And I've had some input on a few new ideas and a few improvements on old ideas that the twins have taken and run with. So keep your eyes out for the Moony line of mischief making."
Lily smiled and shook her head at her youngest son. "Something tells me you'll have some of his first products."
Jimmy didn't feel like mentioning that he frequently snuck out to Hogsmeade to visit Remus at work and just smiled innocently.
"Nothing I should be worried about I hope," Albus said looking towards Remus.
Remus shook his head. "Of course not, Headmaster. There's not a single one that's against the school rules."
"Yet," Tonks added as she finished off her chicken.
Albus gave up on subtlety and asked, "And what of our other guests? Were you a couple of merry pranksters in your youth? Something tells me if you two went to school together, you got into more than a small amount of trouble."
Harry turned to Sirius. "As much as you might like to think you look that young," Harry grinned. "I think it's that I look that old."
Sirius swatted at Harry's head and explained to Albus, "Believe it or not, I've got better than a decade on ickle Harrikins here and, yes I dabbled into the pranking arts a time or two."
"A decade, really?" James asked, knowing Albus was fishing for information. "So are you cousins or brothers? How are you related?"
Harry saw Sirius glance at him and answered with a grin, "I think brothers sounds pretty fitting, considering the family magic sees us both as Lords. And to answer your question, Albus, no. I wasn't big on pranking although I like to think I caused my fair share of havoc in school."
Tonks began to choke on her water and Remus had to pat her on the back as she coughed.
"An understatement, perhaps," Albus said. "You know in his day, James here was quite the prankster."
James Potter this time began to choke on his drink. Sirius could not have been smiling wider if he tried.
"Oh yes," Albus continued watching both Harry and Sirius very closely. "James, Remus, and your cousin of the same name, Sirius, were quite the troublemakers."
"Really?" Sirius said turning towards James. "I'd love to hear about them. I've gotten some stories about Sirius from Remus, but I'd imagine as Headmaster you'd offer a unique perspective."
"We don't need to go down that road," James interceded.
"Oh but we want to," Sirius replied with a sickeningly sweet smile.
"Harry," Jimmy whispered. "Harry," he tried again as he poked Harry in the side.
Harry snapped out of his momentary daze and turned to the Head Boy. "Hmm?"
"You were staring again," Jimmy explained.
"I was not," Harry whispered back despite knowing he had been. He leaned back as Lily Potter leaned forward across the table towards him.
"Can I talk to you?" Lily asked softly. "Privately?"
Harry glanced over to see James was cringing while Albus was recounting an old prank of the Marauders. He motioned to Sirius that he was going to step out, before he answered Lily. "Yeah, sure."
Lily stood and set her napkin down. "If you'll excuse us for just a moment."
Harry shrugged indicating he wasn't sure what this was about and followed her out of the chamber and into the Headmaster's office.
"Two things," Lily began.
Harry looked at all the portraits pretending to be snoozing and interrupted her. "You mind if we go for a walk or something? I always feel like I'm in trouble with fifty or so old Headmasters watching me."
Lily saw the portraits all turn away or huff, despite pretending to be asleep. "Yeah, I know what you mean." She led him out the office and down the stairs. "Two things," she began again. "First is… I'm not sure how to put this delicately so I'm just going to say it. Are you trying to bewitch me?"
Harry winced having expected this. "Nope. Not trying to bewitch you. Why do you ask?"
Lily led them down towards an empty classroom that had a view of the lake. She walked over to the open window where she could feel the evening breeze. "I don't know. But you stir up all kinds of strange feelings inside me."
Harry knew he was risking becoming a target for indoor lightning but still said, "You're a married woman, Mrs. Potter."
Lily frowned in irritation. "I didn't mean it like that."
Harry continued wincing inwardly and asked, "How did you mean it then?"
Lily sighed and looked out the window. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. I've seen the way you act and you're feeling it too."
"I'm not sure what you're-"
"A mother knows these things," Lily interrupted him, not noticing Harry's brief look of fear. "Raise a couple of kids and your bullshit detector will get finely honed."
Harry quickly tried to mask his emotions when he realized Lily was speaking of her two children.
"This thing," Lily said motioning between herself and Harry. "That you obviously don't want to talk about. You know what it is?"
Harry was keeping his distance from her, hoping it would mute the effects. "I, uhh, I may have a theory."
Lily looked at Harry. "Would you care to share this theory?"
"I'd rather not."
"Tell me your theory."
"Okay," Harry conceded. "Well," Harry knew she wasn't his mother, but it still felt wrong outright lying to her. He was just hoping to not set off her bullshit detector. "I think it means… you're a really good parent."
"What?" Lily asked in confusion.
Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. "It means you're very in touch with your maternal instincts or extrasensory perception. You're very affectionate, caring, and understanding."
"I'm a married woman, Lord Black," Lily interrupted with a grin.
"Right," Harry said feeling perfectly comfortable, just merely drowning in surreal guilt. "It's this study… that I read… in some healer's office."
"Who?"
"Vandelay," Harry answered immediately. "Art Vandelay."
Lily nodded, storing the name in her memory. "I've never heard of Healer Vandelay."
"Oh he's not the… It wasn't his office, I mean." Harry was making nervous hand gestures. "He did the study that I read. And it was his research on magical bonds that… led to my theory."
"I'm listening," Lily urged.
"I don't remember the exact wording," Harry continued. "But the gist was that whenever a magical mother gives birth to a magical baby, the bonds of gestation remain in a unique magical connection."
"Uh-huh," Lily nodded.
"Yeah," Harry said, finally accepting that he'd lied so much today that it really shouldn't matter if he lied for the rest of the night. "It's how witches know exactly what their babies need, when to feed them, all of that… it's just a big magical umbilical cord."
"Really," Lily asked skeptically.
"Yup," Harry said. "But it's invisible. Undetectable even." Harry was nodding more than was healthy. "Invisible and undetectable."
"A great big invisible-"
"And undetectable," Harry added in with a smile.
"And undetectable… magical umbilical cord."
Harry nodded.
Lily briefly thought back to her first baby that was taken from her and tried to imagine what he would look like if he were still alive today. She was attempting to reconcile the image in her head with the young man across from her but she was unable. "Do you think I'm your mother?"
Harry shook his head vigorously. "No, no. You misunderstand. I wasn't saying my great big invisible undetectable magical umbilical cord is connected to you. The point was… I mean…Part of Vandelay's study was on how that bond deteriorates through time. He had a section that I found especially interesting on how orphans, separated from their parents at a young age, get that link severed, and for that reason it doesn't deteriorate."
"Okay," Lily said, following this strange explanation.
"This is how many good parents, or mothers who have been mothers many times over, can just sense or spot an orphan."
Lily nodded finding herself agreeing with this.
"I've been an orphan since I was one, so I've got this invisible magical umbilical cord flying and flailing all around me."
"Is this like your arms thing?"
"Kind of," Harry nodded. "But no. The arm thing is unique to me as far as I know. Orphans everywhere are just spraying invisible undetectable… orphan juice… all around them."
Lily put a hand on Harry to stop him. "Do you need a hug?"
Harry was immensely grateful that she seemed to be buying this and was going to say no when his mouth opened and out came, "Okay."
Harry sighed happily as Lily wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. He knew he didn't deserve this considering the crock of shit he was feeding her, but he wasn't going to pass on the opportunity.
Lily didn't mind the foreign entity furiously writhing inside her so much and sat back in the windowsill. "So I'm just a really good parent?"
Harry felt happy that he'd stolen a hug and got right back into his lies. "Well yes and no."
"Hmm?"
"Discussing my theory out loud just now," Harry continued. "I've been refining it some. And I realized that severing the invisible and undetectable magical umbilical cord would go both ways."
"Oh," Lily said realizing where Harry was going.
Harry nodded. "And since you lost your son when he was so young and the bond was strong, you've got one flying and flailing around too. Spraying your own… juice."
Lily's face saddened as she was once again reminded of the child she lost.
"And I'm guessing having Sarah and Jimmy helped settle it down some, but it'll probably always be there to some degree looking for… Harry."
Lily looked over at Harry with tears in her eyes. "So you do feel it as well."
Harry bit his lip and thought he'd mix in some truth. "I doubt what I feel is the same thing you do, but yeah, I feel it."
"What does it feel like to you?" Lily asked earnestly.
Harry took a deep breath and admitted, "Whenever you're near, or when I see you, I can't help but to think about my own mother. And the life with her that I missed out on."
"Oh you poor thing," Lily said getting up and opening her arms. "Give me another hug."
"Okay," Harry softly agreed, embracing his near mother once more.
Lily let out a pleased sigh and wiped her eyes dry. "Come on. We should get back before they send out a search party."
Harry got up and followed her out of the classroom and back towards the Headmaster's office. "You said there were two things?"
"Hmm?"
"At the start, you said there were two things. What was the second?"
"Oh," Lily said with a mischievous smile. "The other was that you have something in your teeth. Go like this." She made a show of rubbing her front top incisors.
Harry did as she asked.
"You got it," Lily agreed and resumed her walk towards the gargoyle guarding the stairs. She stood the side and waved Harry on the revolving staircase first. She followed behind him and just before Harry entered the side dining chamber Lily stopped him. "Oh and Harry?"
Harry stopped and turned to Lily.
"Someday," Lily said with a firm nod. "I want the truth." She patted Harry on the cheek and walked back into the dining area. "Sorry about that. Have we missed dessert?"
Harry walked back in and took his seat in between Sirius and Jimmy.
"Everything okay?" Sirius asked looking at Harry.
Harry couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Yup." He turned towards the other guests and asked, "What are we talking about?"
"James here," Remus happily summarized, "was telling us all about how close he is to nabbing the Death Eater Bandits."
"Really?" Harry drew out the word in exaggeration. "I've read about them in the paper. What can you tell me?"
James rolled his eyes. "The Daily Prophet has been practically declaring them heroes, as if being the target of a burglar was proof that the victim is a Death Eater."
"Not true?" Harry asked curiously.
James shrugged. "From what I can tell, it's very possible they have all been Death Eaters. But the ones we'd ask are all conveniently out of town and often their neighbors, servants, or wives are the ones who report the robberies."
"And you think you may be close to catching the Bandits? Or is it Bandit? How many are there?"
"The wand signatures are all over the place and those are never unique enough to catch someone, but we think there are at least two different people," James said. "And Albus, I didn't mention this to you, but I think the Bandits might have been in our home."
"Godric's Hollow?" Albus asked curiously. "Did they take anything?"
James shook his head. "That's just it. Nothing was taken but they left the family safe wide open, like a warning."
"Hey!" Jimmy perked up. "I got punished for that."
"No, you argued your way out of punishment," Lily corrected.
Jimmy frowned. "Well you made me feel guilty about it."
James shook his head and explained, "My belief is that they broke in, opened the safe, and then… something happened. Something that angered them about Death Eaters or maybe they'd thought I was a Death Eater and suddenly realized I wasn't. Either way, it had to have been a Potter who opened that safe or else someone with a lot of talent for breaking into things."
"Can't it be both?" Tonks said mischievously.
"You know we should probably get going," Sirius said loudly.
"Yes, we should," Harry agreed standing up quickly. "Thank you all for a lovely dinner."
"I'm sorry Sarah wasn't able to join us," Lily said. "We should do this again some time."
"Our schedules can be pretty hectic," Harry responded in an effort to avoid answering.
"I need a quick word with you," Tonks said waving them away.
"Thanks again," Sirius said as he followed Harry and Tonks out the side chamber.
Tonks waited until they were away from the portraits and whispered into Harry's ear, "I think the Unspeakables know something. They didn't even care that all of the leads I followed on the mysterious large breasted blonde woman were dead ends. It's like they knew they would be."
"You think you're going to get into trouble?" Harry whispered back and looked at her curiously.
Tonks shrugged off his concern. "Just giving my Lords a heads up."
Harry and Sirius said their goodbyes to Tonks and walked the path down to Hogsmeade, aiming for the Hog's Head.
"Did you come through on your side of the bet?" Harry asked.
"Of course," Sirius replied, glancing briefly behind him and pulling out a small device from his pocket. "I nicked this thing off his shelf."
Harry looked at the small contraption. "You stole his Put-Outer?"
Sirius frowned and looked at the little clicker. "I thought it was called a Deluminator."
"Don't be facetious."
"Well what did you snag, oh high and mighty one?"
Harry reached into a hidden pocket and pulled out a ratty hat. "This."
Sirius looked at it in shock. "The Sorting Hat! You stole the Sorting Hat?"
"You think he'll notice?"
"You can't steal the Sorting Hat. That's just… no. Uh-uh. Foul. Against the rules."
Harry laughed and vanished the hat. "Relax. I was kidding. I didn't steal the Sorting Hat, but I'm not going to pull out what I did grab."
"Well then you lose," Sirius triumphantly announced.
"Here," Harry said, pulling open a hidden flap. "This is what I actually grabbed."
A muffled voice could be heard coming from a portrait that had been crammed into a tight space. "This is illegal! You won't get away with this!"
"You stole a portrait?" Sirius asked semi-impressed.
"Phineas Nigellus portrait to be exact," Harry said. "And I replaced it with an identical empty frame."
"You mean…"
Harry nodded. "We get a little loyalty out of him, transfer him into a different frame, one that's linked to the one currently hanging in Dumbledore's office, and we'll have our own personal spy into the heart of Hogwarts."
"And not bound by the usual Headmaster portrait rules," Sirius agreed. "That's good. But mine was still better."
"Your Put-Outer?"
"It's a Deluminator!"
"Fine," Harry sighed. "Since I'm better than you at everything else, I suppose I can be humbler and let you pretend you won this time. I'll buy drinks."
"Thank you," Sirius agreed. "Besides, you didn't have to listen to the unabridged history of the suit of armor near the owlery. Twenty minutes on a suit of armor!"
They walked into the Hog's Head and waved at Gin behind the bar. "Don't get too drunk," Harry whispered. "We've got work to do tonight."
Harry looked back towards the small ash wand on the other side of the ward set. "Dammit."
"We'll get it on the way back," Sirius assured him.
"I know," Harry agreed. "Give me your unicorn hair wand. It's better than nothing."
"Okay," Sirius agreed handing it over. "But it doesn't like you."
"No wands like me," Harry grumbled.
"Well maybe if you hadn't overloaded and exploded your first one…"
"Shut up," Harry said. "And flood the next anchor."
Sirius bent down to one knee and funneled his magic into the stone. The wards flared up to life and Harry used several magical arms with ward stones to open a hole big enough to step through.
"So Remus says the Parselcrotch shirts are selling more than all our other shirts combined," Sirius said calmly making conversation as Harry climbed through the hole.
Harry pulled his ward hole over towards Sirius and let him step through. "You've got to let that go. There's no shame in being worse than me at something."
Sirius frowned as he let the funneling stop and Harry pulled his ward hole back with him.
"Or everything I guess when you really think about it," Harry said as they turned towards the next ward set.
"No one likes a braggart," Sirius grumbled raising his wand to the wards.
"Wait!" Harry stopped him. "Look closer. There's two there."
Sirius squinted. "Can we do both at once?"
Harry considered it and said, "It'll be easier to do them separately."
"Can you make us some space?"
Harry shook his head. "Nope. They're linked in multiple spots." Harry aimed Sirius' wand at himself and thought better of it. "You shrink me. Your wand doesn't like me that much."
Sirius cast a shrinking charm on Harry first and then himself. The small gap between the two linked wards was now plenty of space for their relative size.
"Can you lift the first one?" Sirius asked getting closer to the ward.
"Yup," Harry said pulling out his ward-jack. He slid the metal slat through and began to pump it up and down. The edge of the ward lifted out of the ground and was slowly ratcheted up. "Second one won't stop animagi."
"Can we lift it?" Sirius asked as he slid under the first ward's edge and stopped across from the next.
Harry crawled under the edge and spun the ward-jack around. He let the first ward fall and withdrew the ward-jack. He looked closer at the next one. "Not from this side."
"That's what I figured," Sirius said. "And I'm not sure I can carry the jack through."
"Stick it in a bubble," Harry said. "Your wand too."
"I transform with my wand," Sirius argued.
"I know you can," Harry said. "But better safe than sorry."
"Alright," Sirius said accepting the magic-muting ball with the expanded space inside. He stripped off all of his magical possessions and loaded them and the ward-jack into the ball. With a pop, Sirius had transformed into his dog form and picked up the sealed magic-muting bubble in his mouth. He glanced up at Harry, saw his godson nod, and trotted straight through the ward. Right as he crossed it, the ward flared to life momentarily.
"Whoa," Harry said.
Sirius dropped the bubble from the other side and transformed back. "What was that? Did it trigger?"
Harry shook his head. "No, it didn't trigger but something reacted."
"Are we screwed?" Sirius asked warily.
"I… I don't think so," Harry slowly answered. "But let's take a moment here. Do you see anything from your side?"
Sirius opened up the bubble and withdrew his wand and the jack. He charmed his omnioculars and peered through them. "It looks standard from this side."
Harry frowned. "Yeah, same here. Which worries me."
"Want me to try and jack it?"
"No," Harry said. "Not yet. There's more to this ward than meets the eye which means we need to be careful."
"You know this would be so much easier if you just learned the animagus transformation."
"Good thinking, Padfoot. Let me go grab a book and start studying right now."
Sirius looked closer at the ward. "No anchor stone, right?"
"Right."
"And it didn't react to me, only the bubble right?"
"Mmm-hmm."
Sirius saw Harry was thinking deeply and left him to it.
After a minute or two of silence, Harry asked, "Any ideas?"
Sirius looked at Harry and gulped in surprise. "Uhh… Harry?"
"What?" Harry said. He then noticed Sirius looked smaller. "Why are you shrinking?"
Sirius shook his head. "I'm not shrinking, Harry. You're getting bigger."
"What?" Harry said noticing the wards behind him and in front of him were much closer. "Ah crap. Why didn't you cast a stronger shrinking charm?"
"I cast a fine shrinking charm," Sirius defended. "You were the one who said we shouldn't take Norton's."
"Albus would've spotted it right away," Harry said. He stood up straighter as the two ward walls began to close in on him. "And we've got more pressing issues right now."
"Alright I'm jacking it," Sirius said moving for the ward-jack.
Harry feared what that might do to the ward but was running out of options. He tried to cast a shrinking charm on himself with Sirius' wand. He shrunk slightly, but the excess magic flared from the wand dangerously nearly triggering both wards. "Okay do it. But do it quick."
Sirius slid the ward-jack right through and began to ratchet as fast as he could. "Dammit, Harry. Stop growing."
"Hurry," Harry pleaded using his invisible arms to put slight pressure on both sides of the rapidly approaching wards.
Sirius huffed. "Those wards aren't fatal, right?"
Harry sighed as he was now forced straight up and lacked the room to even turn around. "They both look like lockdown, but this one in front we know is a wild card."
"Fuck," Sirius swore knowing that lockdown would mean they could easily be trapped inside the wards. "That's as high as the jack will go. Apparition, portkey, anything?"
"No, those wards are all solid. Dammit," Harry swore as he felt both wards pushing on his back and front. "If I even bend my knees, we'll probably get locked in."
"Do something!"
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," Harry pleaded as the wards pushed tighter as the shrinking charm on him continued to slowly wear off. He was now more than three times as tall as Sirius.
"Fuck, fuck," Sirius was chanting as he saw the wards pushing and bending around Harry's growing form.
"Ahh," Harry groaned under the weight.
"Ahh!" Sirius was shouting with him. "Just… just… I don't know."
"I can't," Harry whispered unable to fight the wards pull. He grunted, kept his eyes closed, and silently pleaded for help.
Sirius raised his wand, prepared to simply obliterate every ward around them. "Shield yourself with your arms!"
"They're all that's been keeping the wards off me so far. I can't even move them," Harry wheezed. "I just…"
"Hang on," Sirius said looking around wildly. He finally decided to aim off to the side of Harry and focused his thoughts on the mysterious ward. "Avada Ke-"
And then it happened.