I sat there staring at her for a long time.
"That doesn't make any sense…"
"Why not?" she turned to me, her head cocked to one side.
"Because I don't remember any of that. I don't remember this place, I don't remember a fight, I don't remember!"
"Did you really think you would…?"
That made me stop. "What…?"
"Did you really think that by me telling you all of this that you would just suddenly remember everything? That all the puzzle pieces would just fit into place and you would remember who you were? To be honest I'm happy you can't remember all the horrific stuff; what would it do to your baby if you could remember all of it? You'd go crazy! You'd probably end up forcing a miscarriage or something." She stood up.
"You never told me how you knew all of this… Why we had been best friends…" I mumbled.
NyghtFyre sat down again and huffed. "Well it isn't much of a story…" She began.
"my family and I didn't live in a village… for all I know I'm the only druid for hundreds maybe thousands of miles… Maybe the only one left even…
"My mother died before I could remember… She died when I was really young. My dad raised me, and I guess you could say he raised a little hell seeker." She smiled a little.
"Anyway… My dad knew your dad real well, ever since they were young. You see… Your dad and my dad had been… well I don't know the real term for it… but it's like being permanently connected to the person. You know when they're happy, when they're sad, even when they're hurt. You can share your life energy with them if you find them before they die and you always come when they call."
"Does it work both ways…?" I asked.
"No… Only one way… You see… The gods and goddesses of your village are able to bond someone to them; almost like a slave…"
"And that's what my dad did to your dad?"
"well… Sort of… he did bind my dad to him, but he never treated my dad like a servant; or anything lower than himself. They had been best friends always.
"Anyway… when you were born, before I had been born, my dad offered to bind his first child to you. At first your dad refused, said he didn't want to make a servant of my dad's child; that he already felt bad that his dad was bound. But as you got older and started to be picked on he started to think that maybe if he did, that you would have at least one friend. By the time that your dad started to think that I had been born.
"In the beginning I just came over and visited; it was really nice. Your mother treated me just like I was her own daughter and since I had never had a mother in my life it was really something special.
"As we started to become friends your dad asked my dad if his offer was still good and told him how you were being picked on, and that he felt that you really needed a friend.
"When my dad found out he said that he would be happy to do it, and since we were already close friends he didn't see anything wrong with it. So we were bound to each other.
"At first you really hated the idea; you felt that it made me lower than you, like a servant. You asked your dad to take it off, only to find out it couldn't. You never once treated me lower than you, and you always stood up for me when the kids of your village would pick on me, even if that meant being picked on more yourself.
"We were best friends; we never stopped being friends even after the terrible incident with your family, or even when my father died. We stuck to each other more than ever after that. Though we drifted apart; I got my own family and ended up moving further away, we stayed in touch and you met my family before… everything else happened"
I stared up at her; I couldn't believe some of it.
We were bound to each other? Really…?
Is that even possible…?
She stood up and stretched. "I think we better head home, it's getting late. I'll bet the boys are hungry!" She laughed; turning herself into the huge bird from before.
As I climbed onto her back I looked around the ruined village once more.
Home… It never sounded like such a sad word until this moment…
After dinner I sat in my room, staring down that the items gathered from the village.
The two boxes sat unopened still while the sword and the teddy bear had been placed next to the nightstand.
I picked up the larger box and opened it.
A photo album, a jewelry box, a broken china doll… All of it seemed completely useless…
I sighed and sat back, staring up at the ceiling.
It would be night soon… and not long after that the boys would be asleep… This time Yuske won't be in the way… I made sure he was sharing the room the Kurama is using.
I lay back, rolling onto my side and closed my eyes.
Soon… Soon I'll see that's hidden in that room…
I smelled spices again… The smell of spices were all around me… I smelled a fire… The smoky smell of burned wood… I could smell the pine now too… The smoky smell of the fine and the spices washed over my senses… It smelled so good…
The smell… I know this smell… It's the smell of a person…
"Wake up…" someone murmurs in my ear.
"You need to remember…"
But… what if it's bad…?
"Everyone has bad memories… it's your job to remember the good ones…"
…I'm afraid…
I felt the person touch my cheek. "It's okay to be afraid… I'm right here… I love you…"
They were leaving… I could feel them walking away from me…
Don't go!!
I wanted to scream to make them stay. But my lips wouldn't part, my body wouldn't move.
"Don't forget me… Remember that I love you Moon… I will always love you…"
They were gone… They weren't there anymore…
My eyes opened slowly, my lashes weighted down by the tears that ran across my cheeks.
They were gone… The person that was in my room… They're gone…
I curled into a ball and cried. I cried and cried and cried… I cried until I couldn't cry anymore.
As the tears subsided I sat up and wiped the wet streaks away from my cheeks. I grabbed the flashlight and opened the door to my room.
I had to go… I couldn't forget…
Down the stairs and into the room… everything was easy tonight.
With the door shut behind me I flipped on the flashlight and moved the beam around the room.
Here goes nothing…
After what felt like an eternity and hundreds of boxes later I remembered nothing…
Not…A…Damn…Thing…
You've got to be kidding…
There were boxes of clothing that would have fit a nine year old… clothing for a man and a woman; those probably belonged to my parents…
There were boxes of knick-knacks, of jewelry that belonged to the older woman, of dolls that had to be the little girl's, boxes of dishes and decorations.
All of the boxes belonged to a family that no longer existed…
None of this would help me…
Sighing I moved to the next box.
'Hiei's memories'
I pulled it open…
…Nothing…
Nothing reminded me of anything… NOTHING!!
I was so frustrated I wanted to throw the flashlight across the room.
I couldn't remember ANYTHING.
Why couldn't I remember…? Why was it so difficult to trudge up any of the memories…? Why…
There was a small box next to the one I was looking at; I picked it up.
When I pulled back the lid the flashlight shown off the silk material folded inside.
It was cream, and there was a sun and a moon on it. I touched it.
Someone wanted me to where this… It was for a special occasion…
Who gave it to me…? What was the occasion…? Why is it so important…?
God damn it!!
I threw the flashlight this time, it landed with a thunk. Then another thunk followed…
Shit… I hope no one heard that…
I ran over to where the beam of light was emanating from and found a sword had fallen over.
This one wasn't mine… mine was still in my own… Who did this one belong to…?
I picked it up and placed it gently in my lap. It was plain… just a plain black sheath with a plain black handle wrapped in black leather. There wasn't anything special about it.
I stood up and pulled it from it's sheath.
Oh god… what have I done…
Blood sprayed my face suddenly. I looked up.
"H…Hiei…?" I stuttered.
"I told you to move didn't I…?" He even managed to smile.
The objects holding him up pulled free of his body and he fell to the floor.
"Hiei!!" I cried as I fell down next to him.
"Don't die… Oh god Hiei, don't die…" I cried. Tears filled my eyes as I cradled his head in my lap.
"I'm… Sorry…"
"Oh god… Hiei… Oh please… Don't leave me…" I pulled open the kimono I was wearing, my chest was wrapped so no one could see anything, and I laid his hand against my stomach.
"You're going to be a daddy Hiei…" I smiled, tears falling down my face. "I wanted to tell you after the tournament so that you wouldn't worry about me…" I choked and leaned over him. "Oh please… Please don't die…" I whispered as I kissed his lips softly.
"I'm… I'm so happy… that I found you… again… Please… Live for me… and for the baby… I… I love you Moon…"
"I love you too… I love you so much…"
The audience had gone silent by now, everyone was listening to us; the announcer stood behind us holding her mike, everyone had heard everything…
"Hiei…?" I whispered.
No response…
"Hiei…?"
"Hiei?"
"Hiei" I was starting to go crazy.
He wasn't answering. Oh god he wasn't answering.
"Hiei…!" I cried this time.
"Hiei!"
"HIEI!!" I screamed. "HIEI!! Oh god!! Oh please!! NO!!"…
"HIEI!!"
My hand trembled as I held onto the sword.
No more… Please no more…
What made me go crazy…? Why couldn't Hiei stop me…?
And then I was back… I was in my own body… I wanted to do this… I wanted to kill them… I wanted them to suffer just like I was suffering.
"Moon! Don't do it!" Someone yelled from behind me.
That was just it… I wanted to… I could still feel Hiei's blood on my face and on my stomach… I wanted them to pay…
My knees hit the ground; tears ran down my face… Oh god… Hiei…
Someone… Please… help me!!
I lifted Hiei's sword gently and smiled sadly at his pale form. "I love you… We'll be together again… just wait and see…" tears blinded me as turned to face the twins.
"I summon the power of the gods!" I began. A dull ache formed in both my arms.
"I command you to answer the one true goddess of the sky. Descended from the night and the day, come to me now!" the pain grew; I knew I wasn't going to last this…
"I summon you Sky dragon and Darkness dragon! COME FORTH AND DO MY BIDDING!!"
Suddenly Zephayx stood beside me on my right and Hiei's dragon of darkness stood on my left.
I struggled to stay upright as I forced the power down my arms and into each dragon as I touched them.
"Kill them…" The dragons attacked.
I stumbled over to Hiei and collapsed.
Tears slid down my face… I was dyeing… I knew it… there was no turning back now…
I grasped Hiei's hand. "I'll be with you soon…"
Someone was screaming… I could hear someone screaming and someone else pounding on the door…
It was me… I was screaming… I was screaming and crying and gripping the sword that had belonged to him…
Hiei was dead… and I was the reason he died…