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The Death Eaters do some spring cleaning

"Oh I do love the spring!" Lord Voldemort sighed, flinging open his curtains that morning. It was a beautiful day and he felt that a nice relaxing day of world domination planning and kicking Wormtail was in order.

He pulled on his usual black robes and walked out into the corridor. He listened carefully and couldn't hear anything, which was odd. He walked over to Lucius Malfoy's room, pushed open the door and Lucius gave a squeal of fright as his master burst in.

"Lucius, why aren't you up and dressed?" Voldemort asked.

"It's Sunday my lord," Lucius said. "You always let us have an extra hour in bed."

"Do I now?" Voldemort asked. "Well that's about to change, Snape's usually downstairs making my breakfast."

"Snape's at Hogwarts, my lord," Lucius replied. "It's the school year."

"Is it," Voldemort said, in the air of someone who really couldn't care less. "So who else has decided to take off?"

"I'm leaving today sir," Lucius replied. "Rookwood and I have to work at the ministry, and Karkaroff left on Tuesday."

"What about the others?" Voldemort asked.

"Well Bellatrix said something about a spa getaway," Lucius continued. "Crabbe and Goyle had to go home on Wednesday to get their sons new robes, Macnair had an emergency work call out yesterday, Barty had to go home so his father wouldn't get suspicious, and Dolohov hasn't appeared from his wardrobe for days."

"So I'm stuck with…" Voldemort said.

"Wormtail, Rabastan and Rodolphus," Lucius replied. "Lucky you." And with that he fell back to sleep.

Voldemort, muttering crossly to himself, decided that it would be a perfect opportunity for some spring cleaning, so banged on three of his minions doors, thrust an array of cleaning utensils at them including a mop, a broom, a feather duster and several bottles of cleaning liquid.

"What's this?" Rodolphus asked drowsily.

"You're going to clean every inch of this house," Voldemort said. "Polish every spoon, dust every picture, and clean the mirrors until you can see your own faces in them!"

"But why us?" Rabastan moaned.

"Because no one else is here," the dark lord replied. "And this house could do with a good spring cleaning."

"You mean," Wormtail said, hardly believing his ears. "That Barty's gone?"

"Yes Wormtail," Voldemort replied. "Barty's gone."

"Yes! WAHOO!" Wormtail cried, dropping his broom and dancing around in joy.

"Don't be so happy," Voldemort said; who hated it when his minions were happy about anything. "He'll be back tomorrow; his Dad's going on a work holiday." Wormtail's face fell.

"So get to work!" Voldemort cried, the three of them jumped and got to work at once. Wormtail polished the silverware, Rodolphus dusted the floors and Rabastan cleaned the mirrors. By the time they were finished, they trailed downstairs to find Voldemort eating pancakes in the kitchen.

"We've finished." Rodolphus announced, collapsing into a chair.

"Have you done the bedrooms?" Voldemort asked.

"No," Rabastan said.

"Then do it!" Voldemort cried. "Rodolphus, you do Dolohov's, Rabastan, you do Snape's, and Wormtail, you do Barty's."

"NOOOOO!" Wormtail cried.

"Less yelling, more cleaning Wormtail," Voldemort said calmly. "Now go!"

The three of them stomped back upstairs again to tidy their comrade's bedrooms.

Rabastan peered nervously into Snape's bedroom. It was very dark; he stumbled over to the window and opened the veils, curtains, blackout blinds, slat blinds and shutters. Fifteen minutes later when he had opened all of the various light blocking obstacles, there was still no light.

"Lumos maxima," Rabastan sighed wearily, the room filled with light and he realised that Snape had built a brick wall where the window should have been. He stared at it in awe, tripped over a pile of school books and crashed into the chest of drawers.

Meanwhile, Rodolphus was tidying Dolohov's bedroom. He walked over to his wardrobe and peered inside. Why the wardrobe, you ask? Well, his curiosity got the better of him when he saw the trail of snow leading from the door to the wardrobe. He stepped in, looked in confusion at a pink dress hanging in there, and was drawn towards a light at the back of the wardrobe. He stepped out into a snowy forest; a strange man with horns and hooves was standing nearby holding a large pile of presents.

"Hello sir," the strange man said. "Can I help you?"

Rodolphus started at him for a moment, and then ran screaming out of the bedroom.

Meanwhile, Wormtail was turning the door handle of Barty's room nervously. Being one of the youngest Death Eaters, Barty was often pulling stupid practical jokes, mostly aimed at Wormtail. He pushed open the door, and froze, nothing happened.

He stepped into the room tentatively, brandishing the feather duster like a weapon, and then did freeze, he had seen…the owls.

Barty had a very odd obsession with owls, and kept them in his room. Whenever he felt like annoying someone, he let them fly around the house generally making pests of themselves.

"Nice owls," Wormtail said nervously. "Good owls. Stay owls."

However the owls seem to have been given instructions not to listen to anyone apart from Barty because with one simultaneous swoop they flew in a flock past Wormtail and into the corridor, knocking over everything in the way, wrecking all of their careful cleaning and soaring off down the stairs.

At that moment, Rodolphus came screaming out of Dolohov's room, Rabastan stumbled out of Snape's room and Wormtail stood in the doorway, staring after the owls.

"Quick!" Rabastan cried. "After them!" Not even bothering to ask Rodolphus what had happened, he ran off down the stairs followed by Wormtail and Rodolphus. They were met by Voldemort at the bottom of the stairs, who fixed them with a murderous glare, his robes were ripped and torn and he looked furious.

"Whoever let the owls out of Barty's room," he said dangerously. "Will wish they had never been born."

"It was Wormtail!" Rabastan and Rodolphus cried. Wormtail glared at them.

"Come here, Wormtail," Voldemort said, but suddenly the door burst open.

"Hello my lord," Barty said. "Dad went on holiday early; I just had to imperius the elf …what happened here?" He looked around.

"Your owls happened to swoop through the house destroying everything," Voldemort replied. Wormtail smirked at Barty, glad that he would get into trouble at last.

Barty saw Wormtail and understood what had happened.

"Didn't you see the sign, though, on the door?" He asked slowly, smirking back at Wormtail.

"What sign, Wormtail?" Voldemort asked, spinning round to face his minion.

"I didn't see any sign, my lord," Wormtail said truthfully.

"Don't lie to the Dark Lord," Barty said. "There WAS a sign, it warned people about the owls."

"Is this true, Wormtail?" Voldemort asked, but Wormtail was just staring, open mouthed at Barty, astonished that even he would have the nerve to lie to Voldemort.

"Perfectly true, my lord," Barty replied, without a trace of guilt.

"In which case," Voldemort said. "Wormtail, I order you to tidy the entire house top to bottom. Now!"

Wormtail, grumbling crossly, picked up a broom and stomped up the stairs. He hated that guy.

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Hello friends, foes, followers and freaks. I am Red Gnome. And thank you for reviewing! Those of you who are thinking, 'That Barty, he gets away with everything.' Don't be so sure, because in the next episode, the others get their revenge! Coming soon!