Disclaimer – I do not own the Naruto franchise or its original story and plot. I own a Shonen Jump that was included in my Anime North '05 package. No Naruto in it though :(
Notes – pairings in this chapter: Shino/Ino, Asuma/Kurenai, Gai/Icha Icha Paradise (lol)
---
"Courting rituals are mutually exclusive. When a male/female pair selects each other as potential mates, their courting is unimpeded by other members of the same species. In fact, it has been confirmed that multiple pairs in the same vicinity during courtship will often cooperate, increasing the potential reproductive success of each individual by at least 400 percent." – Mating Rituals of S. saffronica
---
I immediately question my decision to seek advice from Kurenai-sensei. It's like I'm crossing a fine line that won't let me cross back. I suddenly feel like the most humiliated shinobi in all of Fire Country.
I try to shrug off my embarrassment, continuing on with my self-training without mentioning a word to Kiba and the others. As I leave, they still have those looks on their faces from before.
While training, I begin to notice that my skills are improving slowly and steadily. As a bug-user, I'm required to release chakra in small, even doses throughout my body, so that the kikaichu can feed. Each time one attempts to increase the number of bugs that he or she can host, it requires an increasingly greater amount of chakra release. As a result, bug-users tend to have unrivalled chakra control. As of today, my kikaichu limit increases a little bit further. I'm relieved that I'm not slowing down any time soon.
I don't want to use a gourd to hold my bugs like that Gaara kid does with his sand. Those things look rather troublesome to carry around all the time. Determined not to head down this path, I continue doing exercises in chakra control for the rest of the afternoon.
Training ends earlier for me as predicted, since I end up consuming most of my chakra. I have to leave a little bit remaining for the kikaichu to feed on for the rest of the day. I'm fatigued from trying to control so much chakra at once, and it will only get worse when I try to release chakra later on to the increased number of kikaichu under my skin. It's a tough job, but the power they provide is spectacular.
I begin to walk home, leaving Kiba and Hinata at the training grounds, still sparing with each other. Even though it's only training, I notice the intensity of their battle. The two of them have shown such great improvement, easily surpassing me in overall skill.
In a way, I'm jealous. Since the first Chunin exam we took together, it was me who impressed the others with convincing wins in the preliminary match. Even fighting Kankuro after the sound invasion, despite being poisoned, at least his defeat was guaranteed thanks to the reconnaissance abilities of my bugs.
I feel embarrassed that they're able to catch up to me so easily. It's like hitting puberty early. Being the tallest kid in class is noteworthy only for a while, until the others start hitting growth spurts as well. Afterwards, the heights of all the students are practically the same, and not a single person seems to stand out anymore.
It's been awhile; I could definitely use another growth spurt.
Thankfully, there's always Kurenai-sensei. She's always pushing my limits, and I'm glad she's there to push us three to do our best. However, she seems to give the worst dating advice. By not being able to speak to anyone else about the matter, by default she also gives the best dating advice.
This alone is enough for me to accept her deal.
"Kurenai-sensei," I call out to her before I head back home on my own, "I'll accept your help. I'll do anything you say."
"Ok!" she proclaims with victorious cheer, "We'll try our best, Shino-kun! Just make sure you're available for me whenever I need a favour; I'll help you out with your girl trouble in return!"
With that comment, she turned back towards the others. It sounds like she's using me for some twisted personal scheme, but I trust her intentions. I turn around to walk home.
"OH! And by the way!" She says, "Make sure you're always presentable! You have to be ready at any time to go on a blind date!"
Oddly enough, this doesn't surprise me. I want Ino to notice me, yet I don't know how. Like the shinobi who wants to break a stone, he must learn to break wood. Maybe Kurenai-sensei is assigning me to some sort of date training. It's logical, and it might just work.
I mean, how bad could it be?
She adds, "don't worry! As long as I don't accidentally set you up with your secret person of interest, it should be fine! See you tomorrow!"
Her words are reassuring. I sense a little bit of hope rising within; I suddenly feel like visiting my "secret person of interest."
---
"Irashiai!" Ino-chan exclaims. "Welcome again, Shino-kun!"
"Ah. Good morning Ino-chan. How are you today?"
"I'm great as usual! I'm beginning to like the little guys more and more each day!"
"That's good. I'll go take a look at them if that's alright with you."
"Sure! They're doin' really well, ne!"
I look around for them. It's been like this for the past week. Each day, they get closer and closer towards courtship success. I can feel the same regarding Ino. She always seems to perk up a bit whenever I stop by each morning. We'd have the same conversational greetings, but after my routine check-up with the saffronica, I'd feel comfortable enough to talk to her.
Recently, she's been more comfortable as well, to the extent that she doesn't even seem to mention anything from the first day the bugs settled in. Maybe it's a good time to ask her on a date? Since that's probably the appropriate thing to do when you want to express interest in someone? It makes plenty of sense, but I question my readiness for such an endeavour.
Worst of all, I haven't done any "dating training" yet. Kurenai-sensei hasn't approached me at all about the matter since she gave that talk a while back. Some help she is…
I've been waiting long enough. I have the perfect excuse to speak to her and ask her out. I calmly approach the counter after checking up on the saffronica. I gather up all my breath, and ignore all negative notions that this is a bad idea.
"Um…I-Ino," I blurt out without thinking, "I-I uh j-ust wanted to s-say thanks for um, well, k-k-keeping the bugs here…"
Shit. All I have to do now is twiddle my index fingers together, and all of a sudden I'd be talking like Hinata.
'Snap out of it!' I think to myself. I've survived fatal situations in combat; I'm sure that I'd socially survive against a fellow shinobi.
"Ahem," I clear my throat, "what I meant to say was, I'd like to make it up to you by treating you to lunch or dinner later today."
She touches her cheek with her index finger as she quietly thinks for a moment. The brief silence is absolutely agonizing.
"It's a kind offer," Ino replies, "and I'd happily accept…"
YES! She's practically saying yes! But…
"…But I'm busy today. I have work until 6, and then I have a date tonight. Maybe next week, ne?"
"Uh, sure," I respond, "I'm free anytime."
I didn't hear what I think I heard, did I? She has a date today? That probably means she's already the object of interest of someone else! This just can't be! I didn't even get a chance to start liking her seriously, and she's already rejected me! This pretty much sucks. I'm rather embarrassed now, and I excuse myself afterwards, saying that I have to go and train. I try to leave as quickly as possible without looking defeated.
I remember to pull the door open on the way out.
---
Of course, I'm not training as I said to Ino. It was just an excuse to get out of there. After walking around thinking about what I just did back there, I end up sitting down at a tree by a bridge overlooking the main river running through Konoha. I notice that Sakura and Naruto are there, probably waiting for Kakashi to show up. I pass by inconspicuously; I'm in no mood to talk to them, or anyone for that matter.
The only thing I can think about right now is that she's already taken.
Dammit! Why did she not tell me earlier? I could have saved myself from embarrassment. Her alluringly cheerful nature does nothing but lead me on further and further until I just go crazy enough to ask a closet-nympho like Kurenai-sensei for girl advice. Dammit, I should have just followed her advice, and wait until she was ready to guide me through intricacies like this.
I can't find a good place to sit down and relax. The sun is almost gone, and the crimson sky embraces Konoha with unforgiving warmth. I still can't stop thinking about her. She's definitely getting to me more than expected. Maybe I do like her. Maybe I should just stop before I'm led on further. Mating season is almost over; maybe I can just stop going to the flower shop, and report the mission as a failure.
Maybe I can seek further advice from Kurenai-sensei, who seems to be running towards me with a look of worry on her face.
"Shino-kun! I've been looking all over for you! I found you a date!"
"Huh?" I ask with a confused tone of voice, "what do you mean, Kurenai-sensei?"
"Yeah!" she pants, as she stops in front of me, "get that look of disappointment off your face, and get ready! Your date is in 10 minutes!"
Talk about last-minute. I don't think I have a choice, because without waiting for my response, she grabs me by my elbow, and pulls me towards the dumpling shop across the street from where I'm sitting.
Could things get any worse?
---
"I'm sorry Shino-kun for making this seem last-minute." Kurenai-sensei says.
"Last-minute?" I respond, sitting down at a small table at the restaurant, Kurenai sitting beside me. That's an understatement."
"Yeah, I know, Shino-kun. But trust me! Your date will be here soon! Just remember to be yourself, and I'll be happy to help you out if you're in trouble!"
I feel reassured somewhat, but the confusion of it all is more troublesome than I can handle. I don't know what Kurenai-sensei means by being 'helping out' if the date goes downhill. Is she planning to supervise our date or something? That's absurd, I'm not a kid anymore, and I don't think my date would appreciate it either.
Regardless, It might help me with not needlessly obsessing over Ino.
"Get ready," she says, as she looks in the direction of the entrance to the dumpling shop. The look of anticipation on her face is more apparent than mine. It concerns me.
"Um, by the way, Kurenai-sensei," I casually mention, "Why are you still here anyways?"
"Oh, I didn't tell you yet?" she responds, "This is a double-date."
"WHAT?!" I yell, almost loud enough to attract all the patrons inside the restaurant.
"SHH!" She scolds sharply, "They're here!"
I flinch from her remark. Slightly subdued, I watch the door open.
As the two walk through the door, I shift my sunglasses and rub my eyes from underneath. I can't believe what I'm seeing.
It's Asuma, and Ino is with him.
---
All four of us are sitting at the table quietly, and Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei are staring contently into each other's eyes. I can't help but feel for Ino, who's quivering beside Asuma-sensei, probably because she's been 'found out.' I can't blame her. She's on a blind date with someone who she earlier rejected because she had to go to this said date.
The following thought hits home. I'm on a date with Ino.
Sitting across from me is this girl, hair tied back like normal, but the way she has those bangs hanging over her face is a lot more attractive under the dim lighting of the restaurant. She's wearing her usual purple shinobi ensemble, but instead, she's using fishnet-type wrappings around her arms. It's sleek and sexy, and it really brings out her figure.
The waiter walks up to our table and hands the menus. I immediately hide myself beside my own menu and protest to Kurenai-sensei.
"Why are Asuma-sensei and Ino-chan here?" I whisper behind my menu, "Why are THEY our dates?"
She lowers her voce and responds, "I asked Asuma-san out for some dumplings, and he said yes. He's actually quite shy about tonight, so I convinced him that he could invite Ino for a double date with you so he wouldn't be alone. He's a really sweet guy. If you tell anyone about tonight, I will tell Kiba and Hinata about you and Ino going out on a date! HA! So be nice to Ino, and have fun! Dinner's on us senseis tonight!"
A wise shinobi knows when he's losing and when to give up. For me, this is perhaps the worst defeat that I've ever conceded. Likewise, I can see over my menu just enough to notice Ino also hiding behind her menu, and silently arguing with Asuma-sensei. Give him hell, Ino. The both of us got screwed tonight.
After brief discussion and agreement amongst the four of us, Kurenai-sensei gives our orders to the waiter. He takes my makeshift screen away along with the other menus. While waiting for our food to arrive, the proceeding dialogue is mostly amongst Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei. Ino elects not to speak except when responding to questions asked by Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei. I do the same, except I leave out further elaboration, and favour simple one-word answers like 'yes,' 'no,' and 'I'm not sure.'
I appear nonchalant to the others; inside I'm dying for some food. This date has been all Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei. I haven't gotten any opportunities to talk to Ino tonight, and at the rate we're going, I probably won't talk to her at all. Could this be any worse?
Out of nowhere, I hear a friendly "Yo." It's Kakashi-sensei. Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-sensei look slightly disturbed by his experience. Kurenai-sensei is the first to speak.
"K-K-Kakashi! What are you doing here?" she asks, laughing weakly afterwards.
"Nothing much," Kakashi-sensei responds, "Just taking my students out for some dumplings. But of course, I'm more interested in asking you the same question."
"This isn't what you think it is, Kakashi-san!" Asuma-sensei interjects. "We're just doing the same as you, taking our students out for some dumplings!"
"Then why aren't they all here?" Kakashi responds, "It's just Shino-kun and Ino-kun."
You can't see much of his facial expressions behind his covering, but his raised eyebrows clearly indicate that he's smiling.
"um…um…" Kurenai breaks the silence, "We're accompanying them. They're on a date!"
Ino's eyes widen so much she begins to scare me. She's totally freaking out.
"WAIT A SECOND!" Ino protests, "WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON A DOUBLE-"
I hear a loud bump from under the table.
"-ITTAI!!" Ino yelps, "Dammit Asuma-sensei, what was that for?"
"Oh, sorry Ino!" Asuma-sensei responds innocently, "I was trying to uncross my legs, but I seem to have hit yours by accident!" He laughs even more uncomfortably than Kurenai-sensei.
Poor Ino. In some way, I'm concerned for her potential bruise. Asuma is quite strong, from what I recall. As much as I resent his accusations, I'm too afraid of him to protest.
Meanwhile, Kakashi is smiling adamantly at our table, probably a little too much.
Suddenly, I sense intent to harm. It's coming from somewhere that I can't determine. Everyone's too distracted to notice, and I'm not fast enough to warn everyone.
"DYNAMIC ENTRY!!!"
A flying kick to Kakashi's face knocks him to the ground, orange book flying into the air from his hand onto Gai-sensei's. Gai-sensei then lands on his feet, orange book in his hand.
"YOSH! I've gotten my hands on Kakashi's source of youthful energy! It is a clear victory for Maito Gai's now-exploding youth!"
Maito Gai? More like mighty gay. He observes the cover of the orange book. The glossy finish of the cover indicates that it's new.
"Sugoi! So Kakashi enjoys the Icha Icha Paradise series! And he has the exploding youth to buy the newest edition with extra scenes! I wonder what it's like!"
With Kakashi subdued on the floor under Gai-sensei's boot, he begins to read a passage out loud.
"The attendant of the flower store protested loudly at the wild actions of her patron. The entomologist ignored her and continued to chase his target: a rare beetle. He frantically ran back and forth in a ludicrous fashion: it didn't disturb the attendant at all. As she stared at the absurd display of insectophilia, she couldn't help but feel a shiver down her spine. She wanted him, and shortly her wish would be granted.
He clumsily fell over a rack of seed packets, and with sustained momentum, collided with the florist. Their lips brushed with each other, and with a great burst of passion, she tried to press herself at him, but the impact made them collapse into a suggestive position on the floor. The florist, straddled on top, let go of all her inhibitions and began to lean down on him and kiss him furiously. Her passionate moans echoed loudly as her body bore down tight against his on the floor of the shop. The intense heat of the moment defied coldness of the tiles on which they lay…"
It sounds too familiar.
A florist. An "entomologist" chasing a bug. A collision. A kiss. Jiraiya, you bastard!
The waiter arrives at our table with a medium-sized basket full of steamed dumplings. "Here's your food," he says with a smirk on his face, "oh, would you like to order more? Seems like you have more company."
"No thanks," I say, "I think I just lost my appetite."
---
Author's Notes
Wow, that was a long one! I'm sorry for the slight delay, but I've been busy with school. Of course, expect the updates to be only weekly instead of "4 chapters in 5 days", lol. R&R!!!