Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto Franchise, or its original characters and plots. I wish I had an issue of shojo beat magazine. Those are so much cooler than cosmo!
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"Near the end of the courtship ritual, the Female initiates a sequential mating invitation by emitting distinct chirping calls. The male accepts the invitation by making calls of its own. These calls gradually increase in loudness for the purposes of elevating their reproductive hormones." - Mating Rituals of S. saffronica
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"NO!" She slams her palm onto the Hokage's Desk. "I can't allow that! He deserves this more than I do!"
Tsunade-sama's mood isn't any better than Ino's. When two females go at it with each other when they're moody, it gets ugly real fast. I witness it all the time between my mom and sister.
"How dare you take that tone, you brat!" snaps Tsunade-sama. "He has no choice! He has to finish his mission before the Jonin written exam starts, or else he can't participate!"
We were in her office discussing our eligibility to take the Jonin exams. Obviously, I'm glad that Ino cares about me, since she openly objected to me not being able to go with an incomplete mission. But that's also probably because she was still asleep when we entered the office. But it's probably because Tsunade-sama had to wake her up by yelling at her and then hitting her on the head with a novelty-sized fan, and Ino's just trying to get on her bad side.
There's throwing of objects. That's my cue to leave the room. A lamp hits me in the back of the head on the way out.
"Sorry Shino-Kun! It's Tsunade-baka's fault!"
"TSUNADE-BAKA?!?!? GRRRR!!!!"
Further girlish grunting ensues. Their eyes are wide-open and glaring, eyebrows angled downwards in defiance of the other person. It's not a side I'd like to see from Ino, and having Sakura pass by me on the way out probably won't help either.
I zone myself out while sitting in a chair in an empty hallway outside the Godaime's office. I try to block out the words "forehead girl" and "Ino-pig," shouted out blatantly. I try to nonchalantly dodge objects that crash through the wall, but it's hard to evade a 20-inch computer monitor.
"Sakura-baka!" Tsunade yells. "We just got that monitor last week! How am I going to keep track of all the mission reports!?"
"Use your books like you always did, lazy obaa-chan!"
They bicker, bicker, and bicker again even louder. Damn them, I could be using this time to finish my mission. I haven't checked on the bugs in days. Are all girls like this? I'm beginning to regret my decision to like her so much. Sigh, what a drag. If I become her "happily ever after", I'll have to put up with that for the rest of my life. There's nothing fairy tale about that, that's for sure. Nonetheless, she's still sticking up for me, which is always a good thing.
"I've had enough!" Tsunade scolds. "Sakura! You're going to pay for all the damage!"
"WHAT!?!" Sakura protests.
"HA HA!" Ino-chan laughs, rejoicing. "You lose, forehead-girl!"
"Ino! You're not off the hook either!" Yells Tsunade-sama. "Since you insist that Shino be allowed to take the exam, I'm assigning you to his mission as well. You have to finish the mission, pass or fail, or you don't get to go to the exam."
Oh crap. Ino's going to punish me later. It might not be too bad, depending on the "punishment" she gives me.
"SHINO-PERVERT!! STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS MORNING!!" – on forehead: inner-Shino
Inner-self syndrome. I probably got it from Ino. How inconvenient.
She storms out without saying another word. She forcefully drags me out of the building along with her, my feet literally scraping against the gravel as we enter the street. She walks all the way to the flower shop before she realizes that she's pulling me by the back of my collar.
"Oh. Sorry, I didn't realize." She says. "Why didn't you say anything when I grabbed you on the way out?"
I don't give a reason. I really didn't mind her having to drag me all the way back to the shop. In a way, it's an indirect version of holding hands. How sad!
She trails off on her own, taking her rampage out on the wall behind the shop. Within a few seconds, the wall is already a crater, and her intensity is unyielding. I really don't want her to stop, so I try to think of things to calm her down.
"Hey, I'm sorry this had to happen to you." I say to her, empathetically. "It's my fault. Do you want to talk about it?"
She continues to flail away.
"Um, if there's anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask." I remark with a grin. She gives no response.
This is pretty bad. I don't think she's even hearing a word I say. If I don't do anything soon, she'll make a hole right through the wall.
I can't think of any way to calm an angry girl down. I have limited experience with dealing with similar situations. I'm only familiar with shy, subdued girls like Hinata, and girls like her never had mood swings as violent as this. She just likes to occupy herself with shojo manga. I don't think Ino would enjoy the same thing, but theoretically it just might work! I have no other choice, do I?
There's a convenience store next door to the shop. I quickly run over there. I barge right through the door, with a look of intense panic on my face.
"I NEED A GIRLY MAGAZINE!"
Not the best way to greet a shopkeeper, but I'm desperate. I can't really Ino down any other way. I have to get her attention in any way possible.
"Oh really? Then here's something all girls your age would enjoy."
He hands me an issue of Modern Kunoichi magazine. I leaf through the first few pages. Ads upon ads of perfumes, clothes, and a bunch of bishonen models. Not bad! I'll take it! I pay the cost, and get the heck outta there before Ino notices I'm gone.
I wave the issue of Modern Kunoichi in front of her, above her mercilessly pounding arms. She immediately ceases her pounding. The look on her face is irresistibly endearing. I didn't really think that all girls were obsessed with this sort of thing. Luckily she hadn't bought the new issue yet.
"WOW SHINO-KUN!" She says, overjoyed. "IT'S THE MAY ISSUE!"
She snags the magazine from my unsuspecting fingers, and runs inside and settles on a high-rise stool in front of the register. She peruses with genuine interest, and becomes even more self-absorbed into her reading. She continues to ignore me when I ask if she's alright or not, but her smile indicates that her mood has changed for the better.
Girls are so weird sometimes. Thank goodness they're cute enough to get away with it.
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After about 10 minutes, she flips the last page of the book, and then sighs to herself in relief as she finally puts down the book.
"Best. Issue. Ever." She states intently, as she looks at me for the first time today.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"How did you know that I loved reading MK?" she asks.
"I had a feeling."
That's a lie. I similarly let out a subtle sigh of relief.
"So anyways," Ino says, "How much time do we have before the Jonin exams? 2 days? It's hardly enough to finish and study for the written at the same time. Here's my solution. You're going to study with me at the flower shop until the Jonin exams come. We can monitor the bugs' progress while we prepare for the exam, just in case we're able to complete it."
I nod. "Maybe we can think of a way to get them to start mating."
She shakes her head agreeably. "You think of something. I'll be back with some books that we can study with."
I concur. She makes a determined fist, and exits the storeroom through a back door that leads to a stairwell. I guess she lives upstairs. It only makes sense. She's very determined to finish this and pass the Jonin exam. I am to, but in a way, I'm also determined to win her affection. My Jonin exam is in 2 days, but right now, I feel like I'm taking a test in romance.
And I don't plan on failing either of them.
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She still hasn't come back. How many books does she plan on bringing down? I don't know what to do momentarily except wait. I look around for the two bugs, but they're hidden somewhere. There's chirping, but due to the emptiness of the store, it's heard mostly as an echo, and it makes one think that he or she knows where it's coming from, but hides as cunningly to his or her discontent. I don't want to disturb them, but I'm optimistic that things are going smoothly. It just needs to be a bit smoother so I can finish the damn mission.
Chirp Chirp.
And Ino still isn't here. It's an eerie mood. There is no sound other than the bugs'.
Tick Tock.
There's the sound of the clock too. It's only 2 in the afternoon. By the time it becomes 2 in the afternoon again, I have to finish the mission. By the time it becomes 2 in the afternoon again afterwards, I have to take the Jonin exam. Somewhere in between, I have to tell Ino that I love her.
Yeah, I do. I think I inwardly decided somewhere during the magazine purchase, or maybe after, when she called me Shino-kun.
Chirp Chirp. Tick Tock.
Dammit, If only I could find out if she feels anything about me. There's gotta be a sign! How can I tell? I just hope it's not body language. Pounding someone's face in isn't the best way to tell him your feelings. I sigh; I hope there's a sign somewhere in this store, or at least some way to find what she's thinking.
I glance over the rims of my shades, and lay my eyes on a just-read magazine. Modern Kunoichi. The girl on the cover looks kinda like Sakura Haruno. I smile. This is my ticket to the inner workings of a trendy female shinobi like Ino. I leaf through the first few pages.
'Table of Contents.' Nothing. I turn the page.
'Combat-Worthy Hair: Be a chic shinobi!' No thanks. I turn the page.
2-page ad, 'Godaime's Choice Vodka.' I love that stuff. I turn the page.
'More than Just a Weapon: 10 Fashionable Ways to use your Kunai.' I'll read that later. I turn the page.
Half-page ad, 'Icha Icha Paradise: special edition'. I shudder. I turn the page.
Below the ad, 'Ask Kashi-sensei: Romance advice.' This might work. I read the passage.
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Dear Kashi-sensei,
I'm in love with a boy who is obsessed with insects, but I'm scared to death by them! I even tried getting over my fear by offering to look after some of his bugs at work, but I get so edgy that I can't even do my job properly! Help me, onegaii!!
Blonde and Bug-phobic 3
Dear B&B,
I think it's very strong of you to try and get over your fears for him. But sometimes it's a bad thing to try to force changes on yourself. You need to let him see you for the way you are. Just be yourself, and he'll definitely notice your better qualities. As for compatibility issues, I don't even see any. If anything, you can use it to your advantage! For example, when you're on a date, and he shows you his bugs, you have an excuse to cling onto his arm like you're watching a horror movie! It's an easy way to be more intimate with him! I hope this advice helps, because you're definitely in love with him to be willing to face your fears!
Kashi
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I hear an Ino-pitched yelp from across the room. I put down the magazine and turn my head in her direction. I sigh inwardly. She's trapped in an aisle that is blocked by the saffronica. She waits patiently, but uneasily for them to pass by her completely. As the mates hide amongst the floral displays on the next shelf, she takes a breath of relief, and continues to walk towards me with the study materials.
She stops behind the counter, and lays 2 books on top of the magazine that I was reading.
"You don't like reading that kind of stuff, do you?" She says, nervously. She blushes.
I subtly lower my head into my collar to hide my slightly warmed cheeks.
"I don't. Too many advertisements."
"Oh. Okay, that's good then."
She smiles, relieved, probably thinking that I didn't read the magazine. She slides one of the books towards me. It's entitled, The Way of the Shinobi, by Shodai Hokage (1).
"Wait a minute." I say. "Isn't it supposed to be the Shodai Hokage? The founder of Konoha?"
"Yes," Ino replies, "it's a good philosophy book. Just reading it will get you mentally and emotionally prepared for the test."
I see. It's not really study material, but something to read while waiting for the bugs to finish doing their thing.
"Does it have anything useful pertaining to the written test?"
"Nope. You're a smart guy, I'm sure you'll pass the written." Ino lowers her voice slightly, and looks down at the Modern Kunoichi. "I just figure, maybe if I read it with you, I could become more confident in myself."
She lets out a smile. It's extremely subtle, but I see a slight glimmer in her eyes when she raises her head to face me. She's blonde, and she's definitely afraid of bugs. Is she the one who wrote that letter? Am I that guy she's in love in, who's obsessed with bugs? I'm not that obsessed with bugs. Okay, fine. I am. Does that mean that the article was about Ino and I?
I could scare her, and test the theory out, but I think that's just mean. Maybe I can help her get over her fear of bugs? That's something I'm definitely willing to do.
I pump my fist with positive determination. "I hope for the same thing. Don't let me down, ne?"
She smiles, gives me half a wink, and gives a 'nice guy' thumbs up.
"I won't, I guarantee it! If we help each other out, we'll pass for sure! It's the way of the shinobi!"
The chirping becomes noticeably louder, breaking the brief silence that followed her 'nice guy' speech.
They're almost ready to pair up for good. Somehow, I feel the same way. I just hope she does too.
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Author's notes
YEAH! Finally done the chapter. I already have the rest of the story planned out, but filling in the details of each event takes a lot more words than I originally envisioned. I'm doing a lot of research into how to get the best writing style for the very last event. So while I'm preparing for the ending, I have time to do a lot of stuff with the plot leading up to it. So expect a few more chapters like this to lead up to the finale! Let me know what you think! Reviews fill me with good writing chakra! LoL!
Preview summary for the next chapter:
Shino has an all-night study date with Ino!