A/N - after several months of intense writer's block, I've temporarily given up on trying to write the exam scenario for Ino and Shino. See, I work a desk job, and have access to a computer, meaning that I can chip away during the day. Somehow, a theme that I've noticed with most crack pairings is that, well, the couple themselves appear to be quite normal compared to the quirkiness of the surrounding characters. Anyways, sorry for the delay, here is your reward for patience.
A/N edit – as it turns out, this chapter ended up being one of the longer ones in the fic, so I can no longer say that it's a small little filler chapter, since a lot is going on in this one.
Disclaimer - I do not own Naruto, or its original characters and plot. I do own, however, the maho-shoujo heroine named Rune Hunter Rena. You'll just have to read on to find out what I'm talking about, lol.
Pairs in this chapter: Shino x Ino, Neji x Tenten (anyone watch Shippuuden episode 14 yet? THEIR LOVE IS SO CANON), Akamaru x Beer
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Deep in the depths of the Earth lies an evil force that threatens the livelihood of humanity. An evil force that once was dormant for thousands and thousands of years has finally awoken, and it will take the courage and willpower of one fated middle school girl, and a small band of her friends. Granted the magical power of the sacred runes of Sarnathia, Rena Tachibana awakens as the hero fated to purify the most sinister darkness. As Rune Hunters, Rena and friends must travel to the ends of the Earth, searching for the 7 mystical Crystals of Kher Khan, in order to prevent the darkness from consuming the Earth. Along the way, they will fight monsters, grow in heart and spirit, and develop the deep bonds of their friendship, not to mention the attention of their biggest crushes!
Rune Hunter Rena: Airing Thursdays at 7:30pm on KBN, the Konoha Broadcasting Network(1).
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Side by side, we both begin trekking back towards the village, perhaps to finish off the studying that we've been half-assing for the last half-hour before Hinata showed up. The trees along the path that juts out from the entry gates sparkle in the foreground of the moonlight, forming a ethereal silhouette. Scattered rays that gently seep through the branches fall on the long flowing hair of the kunoichi to my right. Her beauty is surreal, and the way she glows in the silence of the pathway looks like something out of a maho-shojo anime that Hinata likes to watch on her days off. Not to take anything away from this tranquil moment, but regardless of the cleansing aura surrounding me, I can't help but feel confused. Confused about what exactly is happening between the two of us.
Our relationship, if I can actually call it that, is rooted in a peculiar incident involving the chasing of endangered ladybug species, resulting in the awkward moment of me and Ino accidentally kissing. However, that moment of awkwardness seemed to have felt so right, as the effects of the insect pheromone-like spray gave me (and Ino as well, I would assume) such a hot-blooded rush to give in to passion, despite not having any experience in the matters of romantic relationships, or even physical ones for that matter.
Yet, the aftermath following that incident is just so confusing. Despite the importance of that awkward first kiss, the both of us carried on like usual, as if nothing happened. To get where we were now, we had to take it one step at a time, spending several moments together, starting from small talk at the flower shop, to a few drinks together at Edenhall, to even studying together for the Jonin exams.
And now, here we are, on the way back to the flower shop. It's been such a long time since we first started spending time together, helping each other out, and now I have no idea where to go from here. Blame my inexperience with such matters if you will, but from the looks of the patient, yet apprehensive Ino walking beside me, I could guess that she feels the same way. If there was some easier way to clear up everything that has been going on. Where do we go from here?
Ino breaks the silence between us with a struggled remark, "Shino...um, can I ask you something?"
Oh shit. Here we go, this could possibly be the moment we were both waiting for. The defining point where we settle this issue once and for all. I can only respond half-heartedly with a "Hn."
"Good," she says with a tone of relief. "I've been meaning to ask you about...well..."
I look back at her with a serious face. She looks entrancing with the moon behind her, and I can't help but wonder what she thinks of me, possibly with that same moon behind her reflected in my shades. It could probably be the coolest sight in the world, and I couldn't have set it up better myself.
"...your shades. Why do you still wear them even in the evening, like right now? Don't you have problems seeing?"
I picture myself responding to that question by falling down to the floor. In only 4 or 5 frames. Like in those animes that Hinata likes to watch on her days off.
"I don't know," I respond, "It's always been like that for me. I'm just really comfortable with them on. I can still see a reasonable amount even if it's dark."
"Buy why do you like wearing them? It's like you're trying to hide your eyes from everyone."
When she says 'everyone', I immediately think that she actually means 'me'. I try to reason with her.
"Well, it's not like I'm hiding them or anything. If you want, I'll take them off for you sometime."
Ino perks up a little bit with a smile. It's not the ultimate romantic confrontation that I had expected, but I'm a little glad that she's happier. I don't think I've told her that my shades are there mostly due to light sensitivity. Since they're always on during the day, I often forget that I'm still wearing them when the evening comes. Only when I go to bed that I realize that they're still on. I would take them off, and place them beside my bed on a dark brown, maple side table that my sister crafted for me for my most recent birthday.
I really appreciated her gesture, since prior to having a night table, I would leave my shades on the floor overnight, and then accidentally step on them the next morning. All those times where I would be late to training sessions would actually be due to me running frantically (and retardedly, mind you) to the drug store to pick up a new pair. The pharmacists who work there are probably the only people other than my immediate family that know what my eyes really look like.
"Even before you started visiting the shop a lot," Ino interrupts, "I've always wondered what you look like behind those specs."
I nod politely, and she smiles again. When eventually reach the gates, we are welcomed by an unexpected group.
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"KANPAIIIII!!!!!" says Choji, as he clangs his glass with Kiba's. Between the both of them, there must have been at least 3 pitchers of beer downed since the moment my team and Ino's sat down at this particular cafe. It's not as homely or sophisticated as Edenhall, but has a grassroots charm to it that seemed to have won the favour of the two drunkenly raging Chunin. It also begs the question why a cafe would serve a lot of alcohol in the first place. I'd rather not know, and from the bored look on Ino's face, she probably doesn't either.
Akamaru isn't missing in on the drunken action, however. He's happily licking anything that overflows from Kiba's glass. Thanks to Choji's horrendous pouring ability, there seems to have been enough spilt beer to make Akamaru at this moment quite disoriented, but very energetic.
Meanwhile, Shikamaru is quietly taking a drag out of his cigarette. A little bit grossed out by the jolliness of the drunken duo, he's quite content to just take a few puffs for the sake of his own relaxation and de-stressing before the big day. All members of Kurenai's team as well as Asuma's team have been selected this year for Jonin examination, which probably explains why we're all here in the first place.
If something seems to be missing from this picture, it would probably be Hinata trying to be the voice of reason in trying to get Kiba to settle down and not to take too many drinks, and even restraining Akamaru from his monkey-see-monkey-do alcoholism. However, as awkward as Hinata has been around me and Ino lately, she appears in front of our table in a cosplay of her favourite maho-shojo character, Rune Hunter Rena. My raven-haired friend is clad in an elaborate ensemble, consisting of rusty-red combat boots, plain white knee-high socks with the Rune Hunter insignia down the sides, a pleated dark red skirt with gold lining, an elegant cream blouse with a frilly silk collar, topped with a green-haired wig with a vintage tiara that looks like it was excavated from some high-profile place in the depths of the jungle.
"Is there anything else you need, Kiba-kun? Some snacks, perhaps?" she asks.
"No HICthanks, H-H-Hina-channnnnn!!!!" Kiba grumbles, as he swigs the rest of his drink, previously filled only halfway, the rest of the glass loaded in suds.
Apparently, while I have been fraternizing with Ino, Hinata has gone and gotten herself a job as a waitress at a cosplay cafe, to make money to pay for her anniversary present for Naruto. I can't say I don't approve. Hinata is willing to do anything for Naruto, even if it means having to serve drunkards like Kiba and Choji. The things people will do for love, I guess. Makes me wonder what I'd be willing to do for Ino.
"Oh, and what about you guys?" Hinata chimes, "Ino-chan, Shino-kun, are you guys sure you don't want anything? Maybe sundae for two perhaps?"
Ino's eyes widen suddenly. "OF COURSE NOT! I mean, why would we want to share a sundae together!? HAHAHAHA YOU'RE SO SILLY, HINATA!!"
Confused, Hinata responds, "But, aren't you and Shino-"
"DOING A MISSION TOGETHER?! YES WE ARE, LOL!" Ino says, blushing slightly. And yes, she actually DID say 'lol'. If anybody cares, she pronounces it as "lawl" instead of actually spelling it out.
"What a liar." Shikamaru says in a disgruntled tone. "It's so obvious they're going out. She's always talking about him during training, and we even saw them having a romantic moonlight stroll outside the village. Ino's such a bad liar, it's such a drag!"
Ino, unlike her previous embarrassed reaction from Asuma-sensei, is less subtle with her violent response. She takes one of the wide plastic straws from the table, and thrusts it right onto Shikamaru's hand, which rests unknowingly in front of him on the table. The straw digs so deep, I swear it could have gone right through.
"OMIGOD WTF!!" Shikamaru reacts. If anybody cares, he spells it out, 'w-t-f'.
"I'M NOT LYING! THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN US! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GO ON A ROMANTIC WALK WITH TEMARI BECAUSE SHE'S SUCH A BUTCH, AND YOU'RE TOTALLY WHIPPED!"
It's true. Temari is definitely the man in the relationship.
"Oh please," Shikamaru says, gingerly rubbing the back of his nearly straw-impaled palm, "all girls are such a drag anyways. As for you, you're not even denying what I'm saying."
"Th-that's not true!" Ino responds desperately, looking at the rest of the Chunins at the cafe booth, who have suddenly begun listening in on this bickering. "Aren't I right Shino? That we're not involved with each other or anything?!?"
She's giving me a puppy-eyed look, as if she wants me to play along. Sigh. There's really no point in trying to say no, since she'll definitely get mad at me if I respond otherwise. I don't want to look like a loser either, since it'll make me look like I can't land a great gal like her. In such situations, there's only one response that a guy like me could ever get away with when it comes to intense situations.
"Hn."
"See? He agrees with me! End of story!"
Classic stoic style. Shino wins again. Man, I should probably teach a class with Sasuke.
"Well, um, ok." Hinata says, somewhat disappointed. "If anyone needs me, I'll be polishing glasses in the kitchen. Just give a yell if you need anything, seems like nobody else is coming in tonight.
Childish bickering continue between Shikamaru and Ino, while Kiba and Choji proceed to singing songs about heroes coming back, although the way they're going about it, it sounds more like rapping than singing(1). I seem to be the fifth wheel here, but I can't seem to escape from this celebration to go home and sleep. All of a sudden an unexpected couple walk in through the door.
"OH BABY PLEASE! NOT THERE! YOU KNOW MY EARS ARE SENSITIVE HAHAHA!"
Tenten and Neji stumble into the cafe in the most inconspicuous manner. They've been sneaking around together for the past few months, and have been the subject of intense gossip around the other Chunin. This accidental display of affection confirms everyone's suspicions
"Oh, crap!" Neji remarks, "I guess they've found us out, ne, Tenjii?"
"I guess so, Neji-sama!"
What bothers me is that they're not distraught at all by being found out. Maybe Ino could follow their example. If she considers me as something important to her at all.
"I guess we can't really hide it then, might as well sit down beside these guys, and relax before the big exam! ne, Tenjii?"
"Hai, Neji-sama!" Tenten pecks him on the cheek, and takes a seat at the booth adjacent to ours. Neji follows suit, but is interrupted by a sudden near-vital punch to the face.
Rock Lee flies out of obscurity into a flashy pose while in mid-contact with Neji's jaw. "EXPLOSIVE ENTRY!"
"Lee-san! What are you doing here!?!" Tenten asks, more concerned about being found out by Lee, rather than her romantic fling, now ironically flung to the floor.
"I've been following you two secretly enjoying your springtimes of youth!" Lee nonchalantly replies. "Watching you profess your love in front of these fellow Chunin makes me squeal in absolute youthful explosive energy, and I just wanted to celebrate with the rest of you!"
I hear Ino from the corner of my peripheral vision, muttering to herself 'ugh, how long is this nonsense going to last?' I hear ya Ino. All of this is a bit much for me as well.
While Neji, Lee, and Tenten settle themselves into their booth, Shikamaru continues to tend to his palmar injuries, while Akamaru is passed out on the floor, and the beer brothers are now incoherently yelling at each other about what the best H-game is. The words "critical regions" pop up in the conversation, and somehow, I picture the bit of skin that Hinata's costume shows between her knee-high socks and her skirt. Immediately, I picture Ino wearing the same costume.
My nose starts to bleed. Everyone is staring at me. Even Ino. Especially Ino.
"Shino," Ino points out, "you're bleeding."
Crap! Embarrassing! Once again, I have to find a way to get out of this with some sort of dignity. I once again dip into my imaginary bag labelled 'awesomesauce' and pull the most stoic response possible.
"Aa." I stand up, and proceed to the washroom.
Sasuke would be so proud of me.
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I rinse my hands, and turn off the sink with a paper towel from the dispenser on the wall. The washroom is surprisingly pleasing to the eye. Neutral colours painted onto the walls, a fine red marble design on the countertop of the sinks, and the most incredibly moe pictures of anime girls painted onto the bathroom stalls. Of course, they're painted on the outside, because Kami-sama knows what the effects are if they were drawn on the inside. I would think that guys would take MUCH longer to go number two if that were to happen...
With that thought, I all of a sudden need to go number two. Annoyed at having to wash my hands already, I proceed to open one of the stalls, and lay some paper on the seat. I'm about to go, but all of a sudden, I hear the door swinging open, and a lot of giggling.
"Neji baby, not in here! Someone will see us!"
"No worries hun, everyone's gone home, and it's just the two of us now."
"Well, ok. Even if it's just for a few minutes, tee hee hee!!"
Oh my god. So gross.
"Neji hun, do you think I was the hottest babe there tonight?"
"Of course babe! Well, Hinata doesn't really count, and Ino…well, did you notice how Ino was like, you know..."
"Yeah, she was totally staring at Shino the whole time!"
"It kinda reminds me of the two of us ne, Tenjii?"
"Yeah, before we first started dating secretly."
"Seems like Shino is hesitant to make his move."
"Agreed baby. Nobody will ever be as brave as you, confessing to me like that!"
"Well, you WERE in the ladies washroom, kekeke!"
"Seems like a certain Hyuuga wants to glomp around for a bit, relive some good memories!"
Despite what I just heard about Ino, I stop listening, I plug my ears, lift my feet, and try to hold it in as to not get noticed. The pair breaks into the stall next to me, and tussles around the walls, trying to get into a comfortable position. KAMI-SAMA NO! NOT BESIDE ME! WHY ME?!?
Intense giggling and commotion continue in the adjacent stall for the next three minutes, three of the most ridiculous minutes of trying to hold it in my life. I've even had easier times holding it in during missions.
"Oh Neji-sama!"
"Oh Tenjiii!"
Forehead protectors fall to the floor. They're about to engage the nasty, when someone breaks through the door of the washroom.
"OH CRAP I GOTTA BARF!" says a voice, which I recognize as Kiba's.
The unnamed figure busts down the door next to me, and proceeds to vomit into the toilet in front of the two lovebirds.
"OH MY GOD! GROSS!!!" Tenten screams.
I can't help but laugh hysterically. But in doing so, I accidentally let go
"OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT SMELL!" Kiba screams.
Ha, despite my embarrassment, I can't help but imagine that with Kiba's nose, he got totally owned big time.
Naruto would be so proud of me.
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(1) KBN also means "killed by noob." I'm just wondering how many people picked that up, lol.
(2) This is a reference to the Naruto Shippuuden OP01, "Heroes Come Back"..