Greetings my little friends. I haven't updated for a while, for which I am very sorry, but, back to school and all that. :(

So, what shall I tell ye of the Death Eaters? (Thinks.)

I have it!

----

The Death Eaters watch a scary film

It is a well known fact among the wizarding world, that Death Eaters are evil. There is not one witch or wizard who, when asked the question, 'would Lord Voldemort rather kill some innocent muggles or eat a plate of toast and strawberry jam', they would answer the latter. They would, of course, be wrong, as nothing, according to Voldemort, beats toast and strawberry jam, but that is not the point. The point is that everyone in the wizarding world considered the Death Eaters to be evil beyound all recognition, and the Death Eaters enjoyed having that title. So they tried to maintain it as much as possible.

The Death Eaters had done some pretty evil things in their lives, involving killing and torturing muggles, trying to capture Harry Potter, making nasty phone calls, throwing crisp packets into people's gardens, making rude jokes about the Minister for Magic, and generally not being very sociable members of society.

So Voldemort knew that there was only one more thing left to do to become completely evil.

"We must watch a scary film," he announced one September evening, when the Death Eaters had nothing better to do.

"A scary film, my lord?" Dolohov asked.

"Yes," the dark lord replied. "We have a TV, do we not?"

"Yes."

"And we are evil, yes?"

"Yes."

"Then we must watch a scary film!"

"But why?" Moaned Wormtail. "I don't like scary films."

"Well tough," Voldemort rpelied sharply. "You're watching one. If I have to cellotape your eyelids open myself."

"No, no, I'll keep them open on my own," Wormtail said quickly.

"What shall we watch?" Rodolphus asked.

"You go to the shop with Wormtail and rent something," Voldemort replied. "Anything, just as long as it's scary, and bring popcorn. No salt." He added as an after thought.

Rodolphus sighed and strolled out of the room.

"Now, everyone," Voldemort said, to the remaining Death Eaters, consisting of Dolohov, Bellatrix, Lucius and Rabastan. "Grab a seat, I'll be back in a moment."

There was a scrambled as the Death Eaters saved their seats, apart from Bellatrix, who waited until everyone had sat down.

"Rodolphus is sitting there," she said, turning to Rabastan who was sitting next to her on the sofa.

Rabastan glared at her, but, nonetheless, shifted a space to the left.

Bellatrix sighed and carried on filing her nails.

"Drinks all around!" Voldemort cackled, bringing in a tray of orange juice.

"I don't like orange juice," Bellatrix sniffed. "I only drink distilled water."

"Then go and get some," Voldemort said through gritted teeth.

"Rabastan, go and get some," Bellatrix yawned. Rabastan skipped out of the room, whistling an annoying tune.

Rodolphus came back a few minutes later with a video.

"What did you get?" Voldemort asked excitedly.

"The Ring," Rodolphus replied. Wormtail went a sickly shade of green.

"Yes," he said. "It was on the front doorstep for some peculiar reason, I think someone sent it in the post."

"Smashing," Voldemort said, unfazed by the fact that this mysterious video had turned up on their front doorstep. Now turn off the lights, it's starting."

Wormtail switched off the lights and scurried back to his place, hugging a pillow. Rodolphus sat on the sofa, grabbed a handful of popcorn and the film started.

5 minutes later...

"ARRRGGGHHHH!" Wormtail screamed.

"Wormtail, it's not scary," Voldemort said.

"But-in the cupboard-ARRGGHHH!" Wormtail stammered.

Bellatrix sighed, and carried on filing her nails.

An hour and a quarter later...

Wormtail had resorted to hiding behind his pillow and his face stark white as the strange, wet, well dwelling girl crawled out of the television.

"That," Dolohov said. "Is physically impossible."

"Televisions are made of a perfectly solid substance, people cannot crawl into, out of, or through them." Rodolphus agreed.

"And if they could, they'd get stuck half way through." Bellatrix added.

"Lucky it's a wide screen, eh?" Dolohov commented.

"But she really needs to do something about her hair," Lucius pointed out casually.

"And how on earth can she see where she's going with all those split ends in front of her face?" Bellatrix asked. Lucius shrugged.

Wormtail hid again as the girl pulled the hair away from her face, she did not look terribly happy, to say the least.

"Oooh," Bellatrix groaned.

"I know," Lucius sighed wearily.

"Two words of advice for you, girl," Bellatrix said. "Fake tan."

Not that much later...

"Well, that's it," Voldemort said cheerily. "Any more popcorn left?"

"All gone," Rodolphus said. "I don't know why, either. I gave the bowl to Ra-" he turned to see his brother munching on the remains of the popcorn.

He gave them a very popcorny grin.

"Anyway," Voldemort said. "I'm going to turn in, you lot-"

They all froze, and turned around slowly in their chairs. Wormtail gave a whimper and dived in between Rodolphus and Rabastan.

For, in the middle of Voldemort's sentence, the phone had rung.

Ring ring.

"I suppose," Dolohov gulped. "One of us b-better answer it."

"It won't stop ringing," Bellatrix agreed.

"Must crank her phone bill up a mile." Rabastan commented.

"I'll answer it," Rodolphus offered valiantly, getting up and walking over to the phone.

He picked up the reciever and held it to his ear.

"H-hello?"

"Seven days," whispered the voice at the other end.

"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!"

Rodolphus slammed the phone down at once.

"Was it her?" Voldemort asked, trying to sound casual, but his voice getting caught in his throat.

"Yes," Rodolphus gulped.

"You wonder what kind of creepy waterproof phone she uses anyway," Rabastan said, trembling.

"Hang on," his brother interrupted. "That didn't sound like a girls voice."

"Do redial," Voldemort said, suddenly very suspicious.

Rodolphus pressed the redial button, put it on speaker phone so that the others could hear and listened to it ring.

"Hello?" Said a voice at the other end.

"Hello," Rodolphus said uncertainly. "Er, not meaning to be rude or anything, but we have reason to believe that you prank called me and my friends just now."

There were a series of whispers on the other end of the phone.

"Let me talk to them," someone said on the other end.

"Don't be ridiculous," the person holding the reciever said. "As if you could hold it."

"Shut up," came the second embarrassed voice.

"Look," Rodolphus said. "Sorry to interrupt, but did you prank call us?"

There was silence.

"Maybe."

"Well who are you, anyway? And how did you get our number? And how did you know we were watching that film?"

"Well, you see," said the voice on the other end. "Somebody thought it might be a good idea to post this video to that banker's house-"

"It was an accident!"

"Yeah, sure..." the first voice said sarcastically. "I have no clue how you did the wrapping up, though."

There was a large thump and it sounded as if the second voice had jumped on the first voice in anger, and a violent fight was now going on.

There was another voice, a woman's.

"Er, they can't talk to you right now," it said in an american accent. "They're fighting. Sorry. Pull them apart, Flo! One of them's going to get hurt!"

"Exactly!" Came another female voice.

"But he has an advantage!" The first voice called, muffled.

"I could beat you with two hooks tied behind my back!" The second voice said.

"Could not!"

"Could!"

"Couldn't!"

"Could!"

"Couldn't!"

"C-"

Rodolphus put the phone down. There was silence.

He turned to face the others, who were looking rather astonished.

"Well," Rodolphus coughed. "That, erm, that solves that then, eh?"

"I give up," Voldemort sighed wearily. "I'm off to bed."

"There aren't even any bankers living here!" Lucius cried.

Wormtail turned the other way to hide his prominently crimson face.

He had recognised those voices. And they would pay for putting him through that terrifying film. Just as soon as he apparated back to america, they would be sorry.

Meanwhile, several thousand miles away...

"Now I hope you both realise that your behaviour was out of line," one of the white faced women said. "Isn't that right, Flo?"

The other white faced woman nodded.

"And we want you to apologise at once." She added.

"F-for what?" Asked the bald man with the long nose, aka, the first voice. The second voice, aka, Fernald, was sitting on a chair next to him, looking rather shamefaced.

"For being naughty little boys," Flo said. "And we'll be telling the Boss about this when he gets back.

"It was his idea." Fernald said.

There was silence.

"I'm sorry?" Flo asked.

"You better go and ask him about it, eh?" The other said, nudging her sister with a wink.

"Oh, be quiet," Flo blushed. "I think we better forget this."

"Yup," Fernald nodded.

There was silence, and then he spoke again.

"Forget what?"

----

Yeas, my first real fic crossover. How did you like it? Was it good? Was it bad? Was it ugly? I'm hoping that more of you will read my Series of Unfortunate Events fic after meeting some of the characters in this chapter. You don't particularly need to know the plotline, although sometimes it helps. Even if you've just seen the film, or even if you've never heard anything about it, it's a bundle of giggles. I'm planning another crossover nearer Christmas. More info nearer the time.

I was forced to watch 'The Ring' at my friends house in year seven, and was scared out of my wits. It was damn scary, to say the least, and I spent most of the time doing a Wormtail and hiding behind my pillow. Three years on and I have named my guinea pigs Wilfrid and Dusty after characters in Brambley Hedge, because when I read Brambley Hedge, I didn't have any more 'Ring related' nightmares.

But hey, the best way to get over your fears of something, I find, is to have a chuckle at it, whether it be a scary film, your Great Aunt, or a plate of brussel sprouts. So, happy giggling dudes, and don't forget to glance at my SOUE fic. I need more reviews!

Peace out,

Reddy.