Hello assorted freaks! Because of my rather idle nature, I have not updated any chapters for a while, and in the process I missed several rather important days. These included New Years Day, Valentines Day and St Patrick's Day.
I decided to write about New Years Day and Valentines Day next year. (Yes, I assure you I WILL still be writing next year), however one of you reviewed and told me about one of the customs on St Patrick's day, and the idea was so brilliant, so genius that I couldn't wait until next year to write about it. So I've been working my little socks off researching, and yes, there is a rather hefty bit of information and history before the actual chapter, just to help everyone understand a bit more. I didn't know anything about St Patrick's Day until researching about it. It's really interesting.
St Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland, and was born in Roman Britain. His original name was Maewyn, and was a slave for six years (presumably to the Romans?) before escaping to Gaul (modern day France), and studying Christianity in a monastery for twelve years.
During that time he changed his name to 'Patrick,' as well as realising that what he truly wanted to do was convert pagans to Christians.
He travelled to Scotland, and began trying to convert people, and his success at converting upset many Celtic Druids.
He was arrested many times, but every time he managed to escape!
He then went to Ireland for thirty years where he set up many monasteries, churches and schools which would help him convert more people to Christianity. He died on March 17th AD 461, which has been known as St Patrick's Day ever since.
Irish folklore around St Patrick's Day include the belief that Patrick raised people from the dead, and gave a sermon on a hilltop, driving all of the snakes away from Ireland. Because experts have pointed out that no snakes were ever native to Ireland, lots of people believe that the snakes in the story represent paganism.
It is also believed that Patrick used the Shamrock, (a clover like plant) to explain how the Holy Trinity (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) co-exist as different parts of the same entity.
St Patrick's day is celebrated around the world, and I was really surprised to find out just how many countries celebrated it, not just Ireland, other countries include America, Australia, all of Great Britain, Canada, Germany, Denmark, Moscow, Montserrat and Uruguay.
Traditions of the day include wearing at least one item of green clothing, wearing a shamrock, eating and drinking Irish associated food, such as Irish Soya bread, lager dyed green, green bagels, and various types of beer, and pinching people if they are not wearing green.
I hope I haven't bored anyone to death, sorry if I have! I just thought it might be a bit interesting to hear about some traditions and stuff.
Anywho, I know this is a tad late, but it is my own fault!
This chapter is for Tarquin the Proud, who came up with the ingenious idea for a St Patrick's Day chapter. Thanks, dude!
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The Death Eaters on St Patrick's Day
"My Lord, why on earth do we have to go to this celebration?" Rodolphus asked in exasperation, after hearing his master's latest announcement that they would be going to the St Patrick's Day celebrations in the Town.
"Because it is a perfect chance for family bonding," Voldemort replied, causing his minions to groan at his usual excuse to take them anywhere.
"But none of us are Irish!" Dolohov protested. "Are we?"
The Death Eaters looked at each other. Rabastan sniffed at his arm.
"No, I don't smell Irish," he said.
"You can't smell Irish, Rabastan," Rodolphus said, raising hand wearily to his forehead.
"Well it doesn't matter if you're not Irish!" Voldemort said. "You don't have to be Irish to celebrate St Patrick's Day! You know the old saying 'Everyone wants to be Irish on St Patrick's Day'."
"What if you don't," Dolohov said sulkily.
"Well you do," Voldemort replied dangerously. "All of you do. You lot had better be the happiest, most Irish people at this celebration, or I'll turn you ALL into Shamrocks."
So it was with this threat preventing any further protests, the Death Eaters piled into their mini van, and set off.
"O Paddy dear, and did ye hear the news that's goin' round? The shamrock is by law forbid to grow on Irish ground!" Rabastan sang merrily.
"How on earth does he know all of these songs?" Bellatrix asked.
"I have no idea," Rodolphus replied.
"That's the spirit, Rabastan!" Voldemort said cheerily. "You lot could learn a lesson from him."
The other four Death Eaters exchanged exasperated and slightly jealous looks as Rabastan launched whole heartedly into the second part of the verse, Voldemort singing along with him.
-
The battered mini van spluttered to a stop a few minutes later, and the Death Eaters piled out in a hurry, before one of them strangled Rabastan, who had been singing relentlessly all the way there.
Voldemort shut the door and looked about him at the street. The first thing that he noticed was that it was very green indeed.
The entire street was decorated with green banners, green lights and greenly bedecked houses, even the people were wearing green.
In fact, everyone was wearing green.
The Death Eaters felt a tad self conscious as they made their way hesitantly into the street, the only ones dressed in anything but a disgustingly shamrock shade of green.
Voldemort, however, did not seem to feel as though he should be intimidated by muggles, however eccentric their outfits may be. He glanced in disdain at a bearded muggle dressed as a leprechaun.
So the Dark Lord led his minions down the street, as they went along, causing people to stop and stare. They would have stared anyway, of course. The Death Eaters were wearing black robes, which, according to muggles, was not something that 'ordinary' people would wear. However to be wearing black robes on St Patrick's Day was an entirely different matter.
By the time the Death Eaters had reached the other end of the street, the entire crowd was fixing them with a silent stare.
"What?" Voldemort snapped at them.
The bearded man who was dressed as a leprechaun stepped forwards.
"Why aren't you wearing green?" He asked.
"Why should I?" Voldemort asked haughtily.
"It's St Patrick's Day today," the bearded man replied. "All folks wear green today."
"Well we don't," the Dark Lord replied defiantly.
The bearded man shook his head.
"In that case," he said. "We'll have to pinch you."
Voldemort gave the bearded man his most disgusted look.
"You are not pinching us," he said firmly as the crowd began to advance on them.
"I think they are, my Lord," Dolohov said, as the Death Eaters backed away.
"RUN!" Rodolphus cried as the crowd dashed towards them.
The Death Eaters didn't need telling twice, they turned around and ran.
Skidding around the corner of the street, the Death Eaters practically flew past other green clad muggles, who decided to join in the mob pursuing them.
If it had been a slightly less dire situation, Voldemort would have found his dignity feeling much more wounded at being chased through the streets of the town by muggles dressed in green.
However it was a dire situation, a very dire situation, and therefore Voldemort felt nothing but utter terror as he and his minions whipped around another corner and ducked into an alleyway.
"What do we do?" Dolohov asked as the crowd swept past.
Voldemort tried his hardest now to show how frightened he was, and instead managed to keep his face relatively straight as he replied.
"It is quite obvious," he said. "That these muggles will not listen to reason, and I myself don't particularly want to get pinched to death."
"We should just kill them and run," Bellatrix said.
"We're off duty," Voldemort replied. "It's a public holiday. No killing on holidays! No, we should be more cunning than that, much more cunning," an evil grin spread across Voldemort's face, and his minions faces fell as they realised that he had just had another idea.
-
"You know, I'm not entirely sure these are going to be terribly good disguises, my Lord," Rodolphus said sceptically, glancing disdainfully at the grinning plastic leprechaun masks.
"Have you got any better ideas?" Voldemort snapped, turning his bemasked face to his minion.
"No!" Rodolphus replied, backing away from the grinning mask. "This idea's fine."
The Death Eaters had somehow found their way onto a St Patrick's Day carnival float, which was standing in one corner of the street, waiting to be driven around the town amidst cheering muggles.
In the driver's compartment, the Death Eaters were hunting for suitable disguises to hide themselves from the obsessive muggles.
"Hurry up, Rabastan!" Voldemort hissed to his minion, who was attempting to put the mask on back to front. "Oh, someone show him how to do it. The driver will be back soon."
Rodolphus turned around to help his brother, and in the process his hand knocked the keys which the driver had left in the engine whilst he went to get a green iced bun from one of the stalls. The engine revved into life, and all of the Death Eaters jumped.
"Turn it off you fools!" Voldemort cried.
"I don't know how to drive a lorry!" Rodolphus said, starting to panic.
"Ooh, how about I pull this?" Rabastan suggested, reaching towards the handbrake.
The Death Eaters, as you by now know, are extremely unlucky. 'Extremely' being an understatement. But their luck is not helped by having a fellow minion of darkness with an IQ that matches one of a teaspoon, and it was that wizard who, ignoring the resounding cries of: "Noooo!" from his fellow Death Eaters, pulled up the handbrake.
And the bad luck of the Death Eaters showed itself in its full coloured glory, as the lorry was parked facing down a rather steep hill. And so it was, that the carnival float, adorned with large plastic shamrocks and paintings of cheerful leprechauns, went whizzing down the hill at a rate which broke the speed limits of most European countries.
"STOP THE DAMNED THING!" Voldemort yelled, subconsciously hitting Wormtail violently over the head with a leprechaun bobble head which had fallen off the dashboard into his lap.
"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!" Dolohov cried desperately.
"WATCH OUT!" Bellatrix yelled, as the float went careering towards a house at a sharp bend in the road.
Dolohov made a manic grab for the steering wheel, and swerved sharply to the left, just catching a green St Patrick's Day banner on the wing mirror, which tore off the house and streamed beside them like a vibrant green flying snake.
The muggles in the streets stopped and stared in wonderment as the carnival float, piloted by several people in leprechaun masks went cannoning through the streets.
One old man looked at the event schedule and turned to his friend.
"This must be Lucky Larry and his Lunatic Leprechauns," he said, reading off the list of events.
The street cheered at this announcement, and clapped the carnival float as it sped uncontrollably through the streets.
Meanwhile, there was disagreement in the driver's compartment.
"I'LL drive!" Dolohov said, who had got the hang of steering but not speed control.
"No, I'LL drive!" Rodolphus added.
"I'LL DRIVE AND NO MORE ARGUMENTS!" Voldemort shouted, climbing over Wormtail to shove Dolohov out of the way and grab the steering wheel.
Voldemort slammed his foot down on the brake, and the carnival float came to a sudden stop, sending the Death Eaters lurching forwards and crashing into each other in a small heap in the driver's compartment.
By this time, the crowd of muggles had gathered in front of the carnival float, clapping and cheering.
Voldemort and his minions climbed shakily out of the driver's compartment, and breathed a sigh of relief as their feet touched the firm and unmoving ground.
However Voldemort was just about ready to jump back into the vehicle of death as he saw the muggle dressed as a leprechaun come forward.
"No pinching!" Voldemort cried. "We're wearing green!" He gestured the masks.
"Oh, I can see that very well," the bearded muggle said. "But we have another rule which is for our own safety, really."
"And what might that be?" Voldemort asked.
"You are sentenced to being pinched on St Patrick's Day, if you are guilty of any of the following," the muggle continued. "Not wearing a green article of clothing or object on your person… and driving without seatbelts."
The crowd grinned manically at them, as the Death Eaters backed against the carnival float.
"Surely we can come to some understanding," Voldemort said shakily to the advancing crowd. "Is there any way we could get out of this?"
The bearded muggle stopped to think for a moment, and then he spoke.
"Actually," he said "Yes there is something, if my memory serves me. You must be able to sing 'The Wearing of the Green'."
The Death Eater's faces fell, apart from one.
Rabastan beamed.
"I can sing it!" He cried, and launched joyfully into the last verse. "When laws can stop the blades of grass from growin' as they grow, and when the leaves in summer-time their colour dare not show, then I will change the colour too I wear in my caubeen, but till that day, please God, I'll stick to the Wearin' o' the Green."
The crowd had joined him somewhere in the second line, and they all finished the song together, cheering loudly and tossing their hats into the air.
The bearded muggle grinned.
"Well, we don't have to pinch you," he said to Rabastan. "But as for your companions… where are they?"
The crowd turned, just in time to see Voldemort and the Death Eaters, minus Rabastan, tearing off down the hill, leprechaun masks tossed defiantly on the road behind them.
"AFTER THEM!" The bearded muggle yelled cheerily. The crowd cheered, and raced after the fleeing wizards.
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Sorry if that chapter was a tad short and rubbish. I haven't written in a while, but I shall try not to leave such a big gap next time. Sorry! XD
Anywho, next chapter coming soon! (I promise!)