Notice to you all: Anyone who has tried to PM me in the last six months and hasn't got a reply, it isn't because I'm being frightfully rude and ignoring you, it's simply because I haven't received ANY notification emails from fanfiction whatsoever since November last year, that includes PMs and review alerts.

However now I have changed my email address, it's working again, and I should receive PMs now without any trouble.

Sorry if any of you thought I was ignoring you!

Anyway, on with the chapter.

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Lord Voldemort holds a memorial service

Thump.

A solar powered water balloon catapult was dropped into a hole in the ground.

Thump.

A couple of fake wands fell in beside it.

Thump.

In went a Fanged Frisbee, shortly followed by some dung bombs, a water gun, a clockwork mouse, a rubber spider and a rather bedraggled, stunned owl.

Dolohov tossed the owl in by its feet, before stepping back, grim faced.

The Death Eaters were gathered in the back garden, holding a small memorial service for Barty. The minute the contents of the letter Snape had sent to them had sunk in, they apparated back home at once.

Needless to say they were in shock.

Barty had been captured, and Snape had sent them a letter shortly afterwards to say that the Minister had confirmed that his Dementor companion had given Barty the Dementor's Kiss.

And they all knew what that meant.

So he wasn't exactly, dead, but he wasn't exactly alive either.

Either way, he might as well have been dead, and they were now holding a small service in memory of his soul.

It had been Rodolphus's idea to ceremoniously burn all of Barty's practical joking equipment at the bottom of the garden.

As the last item hit the earth, Voldemort stepped forwards and cleared his throat.

"We are gathered here today," he said. "To remember the soul of a valued companion, loyal Death Eater, and a faithful friend," there was a pause. "Bartemius Crouch Junior was one of the more colourful characters in our group," he continued. "If the house was quiet for too long, he would be certain to do something to liven the day up, like setting the kitchen on fire, or throwing Wormtail off the roof in a sleeping bag stuffed full of pillows to see if he would bounce."

Wormtail winced, and rubbed his head unconsciously.

"I don't think," Voldemort carried on. "That there is a single one among us here today who could say honestly that they won't miss Barty."

Rabastan blew his nose loudly, Rodolphus wiped his eyes, Dolohov was sobbing loudly into Snape's shoulder, and even Bellatrix looked a little upset.

"And as we say goodbye to his soul," Voldemort said, voice shaking. "By the ceremonial burning of his possessions, we shall take a moments silence to remember him, and all of the good times we shared together."

Rodolphus and Dolohov took a burning torch each and walked over to the pile of stuff, solemnly setting it all on fire, and then walking away.

There was a silence, and then something very strange happened.

The Death Eaters were gazing pensively into the flames, when something came walking towards them through the smoke which was now filling the garden.

They stared in amazement and shock as the figure came closer, and they all recognised who it was.

"All right?" Barty said casually, sauntering over to the Death Eaters, who were staring at him, open mouthed and pale faced. He gave them an odd look, before glancing at the fire. "What're you burning then?" He asked. There was silence, no one said a word. "Err… are you lot all right?" Barty asked.

"C-Crouch?" Voldemort said at last.

"Yeeess…" Barty nodded slowly. "What's wrong?"

"But you had your soul sucked out!" Wormtail protested, sounding a little annoyed.

"It's a ghost!" Rabastan cried. "It's Barty's ghost!"

Barty raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"It's not a ghost, Rabastan," Rodolphus said. "The Dementor's Kiss doesn't kill you."

"If I might interrupt…" Snape said, looking at Barty as though he had just started speaking fluent Japanese. "The Minister for Magic told us personally that Crouch had been well and truly de-souled."

"Did he?" Barty said, looking puzzled. "Well I can't imagine why he said that. I escaped, with an invisibility cloak. Thanks to those Weasley twins."

Snape looked rather taken aback.

"Well it seems that those meddlesome Weasleys are good for something after all." He commented.

"Good for something?" Barty said, looking even more surprised. "I thought you lot couldn't care less if I had my soul sucked out or not."

"Care?" Dolohov said. "We were devastated a moment ago!"

"Aww," Barty said, flushing crimson as the Death Eaters swarmed around him for a group hug. "Well I didn't much fancy snogging a Dementor myself, to be honest."

After the mass hugging had finished, Barty looked questioningly at the fire.

"So what are you burning?" He asked.

There was an awkward silence.

"Well…" Rodolphus said. "We thought you were gone, and so we decided to… burn all your stuff."

"WHAT!" Barty cried. "All of it?"

"Err… yeah."

Barty looked about ready to rant on, but then he stopped.

"Does that include the Filibuster Fireworks?" He asked slowly.

"Yes," Rabastan said proudly. "I put them in myself."

"RABASTAN!" The others chorused in furious exasperation.

"You clot Rabastan!" Rodolphus glared, hitting his brother upside the head.

Bellatrix was thinking logically.

"Well," she said. "I think we should try and put the fire out, before-"

There was an ominous crackling sound from inside the burning pile, and the Death Eaters stared in horror.

"MINIONS… RUN!!" Lord Voldemort cried.

They didn't need telling twice, the Death Eaters stumbled as fast as they could away from the bonfire, as large brightly coloured fireworks, screeching and exploding noisily, flew around the garden.

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Yay! I love writing these SO much!

And if you haven't read the little bit before the chapter, please do so now, it's important.

Thank you. XD

Red Gnome