KSSST...

BWIP!

(Snake.) "This is Snake... Otacon, do you read me?"

(Otacon.) "This is Otacon, I read you loud and clear Snake."

(Snake.) "It's been a long time, Otacon. It's good to hear your voice again."

(Otacon.) "Uh, Snake?"

(Snake.) "I also missed you, sweet lady Nicotine. Aaahhh..."

(Otacon.) "Snake?"

(Snake.) "Sweet sweet carcinogens... I can feel my lungs hardening already."

(Otacon.) "SNAAAAAKE!"

(Snake.) "!"

(Raiden.) "Oh great... Snake must've died again..."

(Meryl.) "Again? That's the fourth time today. Was he trying to teacup those guys again?"

(Raiden.) "That's TEABAG. And no, I think he gave up on that after you shot him in the ass."

(Meryl.) "I was aiming for the grunt's head."

(Raiden.) "Oh, you were aiming for a head alright."

(Meryl.) "What? Was that some sort of sexist, ch-"

(Snake.) "I'm not dead!"

(Raiden.) "!"

(Meryl.) "!"

(Otacon.) "As I was saying... It's only been about a minute since we last spoke Snake."

(Snake.) "Really? It felt more like... One year, eleven months, eight days, seven hours and fif-"

(Otacon.) "Alright! I get it!"

(Meryl.) "Where would you get a weird number like that Snake?"

(Raiden.) "That's what it says on the memory card."

(Meryl.) "What? Memory card?"

(Otacon.) "Now that's just being stupid."

(Snake.) "Oh really? Ok Otacon, switch over to the data save frequency."

(Otacon.) "What? Why?"

(Raiden.) "I think I know where he's going with this..."

(Meryl.) "?"

(Snake.) "Just do it."

(Otacon.) "Fine."

BWIP!

(Otacon/Save.) "Happy now?"

(Snake.) "Now save the data."

... Ding!

(Otacon/Save.) "Now what was this supposed to prove?"

(Raiden.) "Uhh, Snake?"

(Snake.) "Now, check the last saved date on the memory card."

(Raiden.) "Snake?"

(Otacon/Save.) "It's today's date."

(Snake.) "Huh?"

(Raiden.) "Tch..."

(Otacon.) "Really Snake, what are you trying to prove?"

(Snake.) "I don't get it, it should've said-"

(Raiden.) "Snake?"

(Snake.) "-The date of the last saved game."

(Raiden.) "Snake?"

(Otacon.) "Yes, and that's today."

(Snake.) "But I ju-"

(Raiden.) "SNA-"

(Meryl.) "We ALREADY did that joke!"

(Snake) "!"

(Otacon.) "!"

(Raiden.) "What?"

(Meryl.) "The Game Over/Continue screen joke. We did that one."

(Raiden.) "Oh, that you can remember?"

(Meryl.) "Huh?"

(Raiden.) "But you have no idea what a memory card is?"

(Snake.) "..."

(Otacon.) "Snake?"

(Meryl.) "I don-"

(Snake.) "I'm staying out of this one."

(Otacon.) "Good call."

(Raiden.) "You SUCK at breaking the fourth wall!"

(Meryl.) "WHAT?!"

-

(Liquid.) "For the love of God! We've been standing here behind this bloody door for two bloody years now! We could've stolen this damn thing and wiped out several third-world countries before LUNCH! How the bloody hell can three buffoons and a nerd waste so much bloody time?! They're just STANDING there!"

(Ocelot.) "Zzzz..."

(Liquid.) "?"