KSSST...

Bwip.

(Snake.) "Ok, enough improv humor. Time to crack open this door, and deal with Revolver Snake."

(Meryl.) "Who?"

(Raiden.) "Don't you mean Liquid Ocelot?"

(Snake.) "Now that just sounds stupid. Who'd be afraid of a small jungle cat made of water?"

(Meryl.) "Of course it's stupid, Blondie came up with it."

(Raiden.) "Shut up Butch. It makes more sense than his."

(Meryl.) "Water cat makes more sense?"

(Snake.) "Face it, I'm an expert at everything."

(Raiden.) "Oh yeah? Then go ahead, Mr. Expert at everything. Explain away."

(Snake.) "A gun that shoots Snakes."

(Raiden.) "..."

(Meryl.) "..."

(Snake.) "What?"

(Raiden.) "A gun..."

(Meryl.) "That shoots..."

(Snake.) "Snakes."

(Raiden.) "Yeah... No."

(Meryl.) "I'm with Blondie on this one. It just sounds stupid now."

(Raiden.) "Thanks, Butch."

(Meryl.) "Go die in a hole."

(Raiden.) "Like that's the first time you've offered your services to a guy before."

(Meryl.) "Why don't you just go off and die you fu-"

(Snake.) "It makes perfect sense. It's the most terrifying weapon in the world."

(Meryl.) "That's just stupid. Snakes aren't that scary."

(Snake.) "Yes I am."

(Raiden.) "No they're n- wait. What?"

(Snake.) "You heard me."

(Meryl.) "..."

(Raiden.) "Let me get this straight. You're talking about a gun."

(Snake.) "Mmhmm."

(Raiden.) "That shoots out copies of you?"

(Snake.) "Yup."

(Meryl.) "..."

(Raiden.) "I take it back, that's terrifying."

(Snake.) "Isn't it? I could take over the world with a few pulls of my index finger."

(Meryl.) "...Mmmm..."

(Raiden.) "Does that mean I wouldn't have to pay rent?"

(Snake.) "Nope."

(Raiden.) "Nice."

(Snake.) "You'll need that money to afford your weekly Snake-Tax."

(Raiden.) "I don't care, I- wait. What?"

(Meryl.) "Mmmm..."

(Snake.) "Weekly Snake-Tax."

(Raiden.) "What the hell is that supposed to be?"

(Snake.) "The tax I charge you schmucks for using up all my air."

(Raiden.) "I take it back. It's a stupid weapon."

(Snake.) "Stupidly awesome."

(Raiden.) "In your new world, is awesome the new way to say stupid?"

(Snake.) "I'm also charging a Raiden-Tax."

(Meryl.) "Mmmm..."

(Raiden.) "Let me guess, the tax for being me."

(Snake.) "Nope. The tax for not kicking your ass on a daily basis."

(Raiden.) "... I hate you."

(Snake.) "And with good reason."

(Meryl.) "MMMMM!"

(Snake.) "!"

(Raiden.) "!"

(Meryl.) "Uh..."

(Raiden.) "What the hell are you doing?"

(Meryl.) "Uh..."

(Raiden.) "With your pants around your-"

(Meryl.) "!"

(Snake.) "Don't stop on my account."

(Raiden.) "?"

(Otacon.) "Ok, I paused the torrent download. I can get season one of Heroes later. Wha'd I miss?"

(Meryl.) "Uh..."

(Snake.) "Meryl's all wet."

(Raiden.) "I want nothing to do with this next scene."

(Otacon.) "Well, it's not like it's the first time."

(Meryl.) "!"

(Raiden.) "I can hear the angry e-mails piling up now."

(Snake.) "And photo requests."

(Meryl.) "SHUUUUT UUUPP!"

(Otacon.) "?"

-

(Liquid.) "I'll die of old age at this rate! It took them over a year to get down a single hallway, at this rate, it'll be six months before they get through that door!"

(Ocelot.) "... Uh-huh..."

(Liquid.) "What- what are you doing there?"

(Ocelot.) "Backing up the security camera feed from the hallway."

(Liquid.) "!"