A/N: Could it be? An update already? Sure as hell is. I'd like to thank you guys, for the awesome reviews of the last chapter. If you're happy, than I'm happy! I know, that sounds like a slogan, from one of those crappy carsalesmen who end up totally ripping you off … anywayz, offtopic. I hope you'll like this chap too and obviously hope you'll keep on bringing the great reviews. Enjoy the read and see you next time!
"Can you believe he actually said that?"
One sentence and my mind went blank. I had more worries than Hazel's obsessing over Jimmy's every move. I can't believe some people can be this superficial. Who am I kidding? I am one of those people. Thinking that the right make-up, outfit and boyfriend will magically result in the right life. I judged enough people over their poor appearances. Over their so-called lack of fashion-sense. Their freakish behaviour. In class we'd always preach, that it wasn't right to judge a book by its cover. Yet we'd do it all the time. The worst thing is, that we're totally conscious about it. And we keep on doing it. As if it's absolutely normal. Oh yeah, I judged. I still judge, and I'll probably will never stop. But at least this time, I'm willing to work on it.
And all it took me, was one mystic persona. Countlessly judged, namely by me. Why? She wasn't like, us. She wasn't like me. And it's true, she wasn't. She was better than me. She is better than me.
" …Anyway, I'm so over him."
Was she still talking? Damn. See, this would be a perfect time to judge her. But I'm stronger than that. I just need to fight the urge to do so. But she's so damn … Calm down, Paige! Think peaceful sea. Think birds chirping in the free nature. Talking about nature, what the hell was Cause girl wearing today? Damn it Paige, no judging remember? Ok think .. think Alex.
Hmm, Alex. Yeah, I liked that thought. She finally opened up to me last Friday. The first words were the hardest, but once those were out, there was no stopping her anymore. So much pain, so much grief, all cramped up in one person. One life. My heart ached, after her confessions. It isn't fair that she has to endure what she's enduring. It's not fair that her pain can't and won't be undone. And still it happened, and it will keep on happening. I judged this girl. I judged a dramatic, yet beautiful book, by it's pale cover. I felt disgusted. And I still do. I judged and I'll probably keep on judging. But I'll work on it. Damn well, I'll work on it.
There she was. In the corner at the back of the caf'. Poking her food. Her face had cleared up a bit. You could barely see the remains of the painful event she had to suffer. The physical remains weren't apparent. But the emotional strain was still there. It was always in her eyes. That soreness, that pain. You could read her story through those two orbs. It was always there. I just never seemed to notice. Just like the rest in this school. Alex, was the lonely heartless badass. The rebel without a cause. She was that to me too. But not anymore.
It wasn't even the confessions that changed my perception of her. Or our poetic night-out. No. It was the moment, that her lips touched mine. Every wall she'd put up fell that very moment. Every secret she had, was shared through that one kiss. That moment I discovered the real Alex. I keep wondering. Was I really oblivious to who kissed me that moment? Did I really not realise at that very point that, the mystery person was Alex? Maybe I did. Maybe I always knew who the real Alex was, and I just didn't want to face the truth. Maybe.
" .. And I'm just thinking: how could I ever been with him?"
God. Talk much? Relax, Paige. Remember: no judging.
"Um, that's great hun. I'm gonna go to Alex for a sec."
"God, you're taking that poetry-assignment way to serious. You know Kwan likes to exaggerate." She said while rolling her eyes.
"I'm not going for the poetry-assignment." I countered dead-serious.
"Than why the hell, do you voluntary want to go and to talk to that?" She asked disgusted.
"She has a name." I responded irritated.
"Yeah, trailer-trash." She snorted.
"You say that one more time, and I swear I'll make your life a living hell." I threatened her in an icy voice.
"What the hell's wrong with you? First you break-up with Spinner for no reason and now you're dissing me in favour of that." She argued dramatically.
"Alex. I'm dissing you in favour of Alex. And yes I am. And if you want it to stop, than end the hating-charade cause it's getting old. You can start hanging with me again when you're done growing up." I said as I left her behind, completely speechless.
I headed for Alex's table, as she was still picking her food. I quietly sat down across of her. She was still fascinated by the continents of her meal when I startled her with my voice.
"Found anything alive, yet." I asked.
"Huh." She said confused, as she looked up from her plate.
"In your food. I'm pretty sure, whatever's in it isn't dead, yet." I snickered.
"Oh. Yeah, Degrassi isn't really known for it's fine cuisine." She said while arching her brows.
The picking-and-stare-at-your-food-fest continued as I tried to keep the conversation going.
"You left early Saturday. I woke up and I had to ponder whether your visit was real or only happened in my dream." I said while gawking through the large window behind Alex.
"What convinced you that it was real?"
"The sheets still had your scent on it." I said, while fixating my gaze back on her.
Back to staring at the food. Okay, this scene was slowly becoming the definition of awkward.
"I'm sorry I left. I just didn't want you to get in trouble." She said, trying to explain her sudden departure.
"Alex, that's bullshit and you know it. I already told you that my parents are barely around the house." I countered slightly agitated.
Silence. She looked back down and seemed genuinely lost for words.
"Look, I meant what I said Friday. But you have to trust me. You can't let me in for a moment, and then completely shut me off again." I clarified more calmly this time.
"I wasn't planning on shutting you off." She said sincerely as she met my stare.
"Good, cause I wasn't planning on letting you shutting me off." I smiled.
"Princess is persistent." She sniggered.
"Always." I smirked.
"Thank you." She said from under her breath.
"For what?" I asked curiously.
"For caring … I guess."
"Well, that isn't too hard." I smiled truthfully.
She nodded shyly and handed me a sly smile, when I continued my statement.
" … When you're not being a diva anyway." I sneered.
"Cause, I'm the one who acts like a diva?" She chuckled disbelievingly.
"Yeah! You could really learn a lot from a true, sweet and humble person. Say someone like me." I smiled innocently.
She laughed at my attempted innocence, and threw an untouched baby-carrot at me.
"Ew! Don't do that. That thing might just bite me." I said, while throwing the offending vegetable back at her.
"Come with me tonight." She said after a few quiet moments.
"Where too?" I asked, surprised at the invitation.
"Just a place I tend to go to, once and awhile." She answered cryptically.
"I don't know …" I said warily.
"Do you trust me?" she asked.
"Yes." I answered firmly, without a moment of hesitation.
"Than what's the problem?"
"There isn't any." I smiled.
"Good." She said while mirroring my smile. "I'll come by at 7 at your place. And don't worry, I'll knock this time." She winked as she stood up and left me alone with her seven-course-meal.
Was this a … date? I mean where the hell is she taking me? Oh for God's sake, this could be Mc D's she talking about. Or maybe, she wasn't. Maybe she was going to sway me a little further in that whirlwind of hers. For the first time in my life, I don't mind being lost. Cause I was lost in her.
I, Paige Michalchuck, was willing to change. I was willing to dump my so-called boyfriend, to diss my side-kick, to stop being superficial and to stop judging. I wish I could say, I was doing it for me. That I was doing it because I came to my own realisation that I was wrong. But I couldn't. I was doing it for her. I was doing for that dark-haired enigma, that I was solving little by little every single day.