Chapter Thirteen
The group slowly dispersed, two in the morning finally say Jason and Elizabeth alone. Not sure what inspired her to do something so bold, Elizabeth tilted Jason's face towards hers, her lips slowly capturing his.
The kiss started off slow and hesitant, but that underlying connection, fueled by their deep-seated emotions, transformed the kiss. His fingers twined in her hair, tilting her head a little more, allowing him to plunder her mouth more fully. Her hands raced over his back, pulling him closer.
She was panting and out of breath when he finally pulled away, her instincts demanding that she pull him closer, to not allow the moment to pass. But her mind stilled all movement, she looked morosely at Jason. Suddenly feeling very unworthy, even though there was no comparison between the two, her mind began to change what had just transpired into something else.
Quickly Elizabeth rose, and just as quickly, dashed up the stairs. Her mind racing, she burst through Jason's bedroom door and collapsed on the bed. The rational part of her mind was screaming at her, but the irrational part, while it to was screaming, was screaming something completely different. Dirty and unclean tumbled through her mind, but so did Jason's words from earlier, "I love you," she bit her lower lip, fighting the urge to run, whether it was to run back to him or out the door she couldn't be sure.
One part of her wanted nothing more than to make love to Jason, allow his love to wash her clean, but another part couldn't fathom the idea of another mans hands on her body, it was that thought that kept her rooted to the bed. With growing horror, Elizabeth wondered if she would always feel Lucky's hands on her, wondered if she ever would be able to be intimate again without feeling this hideous encompassing disgust.
And while she knew she was reacting the way any rape victim would, she couldn't remember being this terrified of intimacy after being raped before, perhaps all bets were off when it was someone you had loved.
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Jason knew he had made a big mistake, but his mind kept trying to insist that it hadn't been him, he hadn't made the first move and even though it was something he had been thinking about, he had not planned on acting on it, he knew it was too soon.
But the feeling of her lips on his, they way her body tried to mold to his. Jason mentally shook himself, thoughts like these, led to long nights and even longer showers.
He couldn't remember a single time in his life, where kissing a girl aroused him so intensely. It was like the touching of their lips, had caused an electric current to flow through his body, igniting sense's and nerve's that he had thus been unaware of.
The velvety confines of her mouth, only caused him to groan with the desire that still enflamed his soul.
"Get a grip, you can't act like a hormonal teenager every time you kiss, you have more self control than that." Jason said to himself, trying to logic himself into an easy explanation for what had just happened, but he knew no easy answer was obtainable.
Love was The factor, and while he had cared and even thought he had loved others, it paled in comparison to what he felt for Elizabeth. It would be like comparing a prize rose, which embodies perfection to a wilting tulip, bad analogy perhaps, but there was no comparison, simply because nothing could ever stand up to what he felt for her.
And while he didn't believe in placing women on pedestals, for in his experience, they always fell, Elizabeth was angelic in quality, that should he try to raise her to such a height, God would mistake her for one of his own and once again, he would be left without her. Perhaps that was selfish on his part, but he thought God had enough angels.
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Elizabeth waged her inner war, a battle she was sure, she would be wagering many more times, if not for the rest of her life. It saddened her to think that she could be spending the next fifty years contemplating those very thoughts, but it also scared her, but the strangest emotion for her was the anger she felt.
Tears were the natural outlet for anguish, but for once she didn't allow them to fall, perhaps tomorrow they would or even the next day, but after everything she had been through, and the blessing of wanting to live, she wouldn't allow them to take hold of her.
Instead of waiting for tomorrow and the strength that she knew she must find, she found a little extra for tonight. Squaring her shoulders, she slowly walked back downstairs to Jason.
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"I'm Sorry", Elizabeth said as she sat next to him.
"There is nothing to apologize for. Let's get one thing straight, right now. Okay?" Jason said.
Not sure what he planned on saying, only know she needed to hear it, she replied, "Okay."
"I can't imagine what you are going through, I can feel empathy for what you have endured, but I won't for one iota of a second, pretend to know the length that Lucky went to hurt you, perhaps in time you will need to talk about it, and I want to be here for you, but if you never want to speak about it to me, I can understand that. Telling you that I loved you, wasn't said so I could get something, I simply told you, because I couldn't imagine missing the chance to tell you what you mean to me." Jason said, pausing for a moment to realign his thoughts.
"You are a beautiful women, whether you believe that or not, is something we can work on. The fact of it all, I should have told you so much sooner. But you need to understand, you never have to apologize for how you feel, or for your actions. I was wrong, we aren't ready to take that next step, perhaps in time we will be, but you are more important than any romantic feelings. I want to help you heal, and if you allow me to, I promise to do everything in my power to do so. I'm pretty sure there are more people who feel that way, you are, for lack of a better word, infectious, people are drawn to your kindness and gentle heart. All I ask from you, is quite simple, don't feel like you have to run away, if you need space, just let me know, whatever you need, no matter how big or small, you ask. Understand?" Jason questioned, wanting to convey exactly what she meant to him, but incapable of doing so.
"Why Jason? Why would you shackle yourself to someone like me, you are offering me a world, a relationship, I'm not sure I deserve. I love you, I hope you know that, I was a fool for never believing in it." Elizabeth said, shaking her head sadly.
"You didn't ask for this, you are the victim, no matter what Lucky did, it was wrong. But perhaps it is even more wrong, because he claimed to love you, the boy he used to be, loved you without thought. This Lucky, I don't think he has the capacity for love." Jason replied, gently squeezing her hand.
"Jason, you need to put a guard on Audrey's house. Lucky said he would kill her if I ever spoke to anyone about this. She's the only one who ever saw anything of worth in me, well in my family at least, I can't allow something to happen to her, not because of me." Elizabeth said, fear tinting her voice.
"Don't worry, Sonny put Renaldo on guard detail at Audrey's house. As soon as you went missing this morning. Whatever Lucky has planned, will not happen, my men and I will not allow it." Jason replied, hoping to relieve some of her worry.
"You do know, that you are way to good for me, right? How is it, you always know what to say and when to say it?" Elizabeth asked, raising an eyebrow, a look of scrutiny settling upon her face.
"I listen." Jason said, thinking that said all that needed to be said about it. Besides, he didn't feel comfortable with all the praise.
Elizabeth smiled sweetly up at him, then scooted closer, laying her head on his lap, she closed her eyes. Allowing the comforting arms of sleep to enclose around her and knowing that she wouldn't be bombarded with frightening nightmares. Her white knight was present and would chase them away. And while that logic didn't really make any sense, whatsoever, it was something she was happy to believe in, because even in sleep, she knew Jason would watch over her.
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Marco, Francis and Emanuel met their friends back at the hotel. Deciding against a campout, especially after everything they had been through. Although they were the first to admit, they had it easy, Elizabeth, she was going to have a rough go of it.
"What do you think about the job offer?" Emanuel asked a little dubiously.
"I think it could have great possibilities, but I don't think Jason's boss or friend, likes us. I don't know if I believe they are just in the coffee business, considering, the stories we have heard, especially since coming here, but we can't be sure what is true or not, we will just have to wait and see." Francis said.
"Why are you guys all jazzed about working for Mr. Corinthos, you know you are liable to end up dead, doing something crazy like that." April said, staring at her brother with great disdain.
"April, put a lid on it. They are nice guys, besides, you wouldn't understand it, it's a guy thing." Emanuel said, glowering openly at his sister.
Marco had thus far been quiet, perhaps thinking some obscure thoughts, ones in which he didn't care to share, which was starting to annoy the woman beside him.
"Marco, are you planning on spending the rest of the night in reflective silence or do you plan on talking at some point?" Julia asked. "Perhaps you would like to retire to bed and give me a massage."
Knowing he was going to lose this fight, even before it began, he surrendered and replied, "A massage sounds great, think you are up to giving me one?" Marco raised his eyebrow's suggestively before walking out of the room. Julia hot on his heels, he arms crossed over her ample breasts.
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Jason was beginning to crap up, his legs were stretched out, but his back was twisted at such an angle that he was having shooting pains racing up and down his back. Nevertheless he didn't move, Elizabeth had fallen so quickly into sleep and had remained so, for quite some time now, he was loathe to awaken her, just for his own comfort.
Devising a plan, he wondered the easiest way to maneuver himself, without jostling her overly. Sadly, all ideas left him with the same answer, he couldn't. Houdini would have found it difficult to crack this predicament.
Finally after twenty minutes of interior debate, Jason realized he didn't have a choice, not really anyway, if he wanted to be able to move tomorrow, he was going to have to change positions.
Gently slipping his hands beneath her head, he lifted, while squirming out from beneath her. He laid her head back down, then proceeded to pace around the living room, trying to work feeling back into his body.
Cursing his stupidity, Jason slipped his arms beneath her and carried her up the stairs, she would be much more comfortable in his bed. He would once again forgo the bed and sleep in the chair. One thing he understood, they were either going to have to get a second bed, or he was going to need to start sleeping on the couch. Many more nights in that hard, unforgiving chair was going to cost him more than a restful nights sleep.
She groaned in her sleep, then spoke something that Jason could not understand, he puzzled over it for a few moments, then discarded the idea, if it was important, he would find out at some point.
He allowed his eyes to close after he allowed himself to drink in the sight of her sleeping, hoping the peaceful look that graced Elizabeth face, would remain the rest of the night. Unsure if sleep was really something he should be doing, he nonetheless gave himself over to it. So much stress, that's what he could blame his sleepiness on.
Before he finally made it over the last precipice and into sleep, he heard her mumble again, three simple words, but words that sped up his heart, 'I love you.' Matching her tone, he mumbled back, "Love you too, goodnight my love, sleep well."
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I know this chapter is late and rather short, but life does tend to get in the way every once in awhile, that being the case here. Hopefully, tomorrow will see things returning to normal and I can once again devote more of my time to this story and my other one. Thank you again for all your kind words, as always they inspire me to be a better writer. (Big Hugs)