"So, tell me again why I have to stay in my room?" Meatwad inquired while standing in his room talking to Master Shake.
"Because, Carl has a lady friend and I was thinking about, you know, showing her around the neighborhood," Shake said, "Mostly in Frylock's room."
"I thought Frylock said that we weren't supposed to go into his room while he was away," Meatwad said.
"That's funny," Shake said, "Because he told me that, while he was at his nerdy science expo thing, I was in charge and that I could use his room for anything I wanted to do. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna invite Carl's friend over so that I can get laid."
"Still, why do I have to be in here again?"
"Because, when she comes over, she'll see you and say, 'Oh, God; is that a disgusting blob of crap?' and she'll think that this place is unsanitary and she'll run away."
"Yeah, but, this place is already unsanitary. I mean, there's still dishes in the sink that haven't been cleaned and the remains have crusted over them, the trash hasn't been emptied in over three days, and some pancakes got spilled on the chair so now they have ants all over them. I try to clean up, but I think I just make it worse."
"Well of course you do, Meatwad. I mean, everything you touch turns to crap."
"I would still be unsanitary, even without me."
"Yes, but without you, it would be less sanitary and maybe she'd be happy," Shake said as he started towards the living room. "Anyway, I'm gonna go bring that woman over so stay in there and don't touch anything."
Ignignot and Err jumped through the window and Ignignot said, "You'll do no such thing."
"And what, pray tell, gives you the right to say that?" Shake inquired.
"Because we chased her off," Err stated.
"That is right," said Ignignot, "because we are the C-blockers."
"Yeah, and the 'C' stands for cock," Err added.
"Yeah, I already knew that," Shake said.
"Yes, Err, he already knew that."
"Well, I was just saying it just in case he didn't know that; I mean geez."
"But he already knew, so stop saying things that people already know."
Meatwad rolled out, saw the Mooninites and asked, "Did Frylock say you could have friends over?"
"Meatwad, I told you to stay in that room!" Shake exclaimed. "And since you didn't listen to me, I missed my opportunity to get laid. How's that feel, knowing that you kept your roommate from getting laid?"
"Frankly, I'm okay with that."
"We are going to have a backyard party," Ignignot said.
"Yeah, it's gonna be a rager," Err added, "We've got all this food, and beer, and porn."
"Where did you get that?" Shake asked.
"We certainly didn't steal it from your neighbor if that's what you're thinking," Err said.
"Quiet, Err; we have always had this stuff, you don't need to know where we obtained it or who we obtained it from."
"That's fine with me," Meatwad said. "Hey, I know where we could have this party."
The four of them went to Carl's backyard for the picnic. They set up the barbeque and Shake was in the pool when he said, "This is the best idea you have ever come up with, Meatwad."
"Yeah, I do have good ideas sometimes," Meatwad said.
"Hey, look at this," Carl said as he came out the backdoor. "Look who returned to the scene of the frickin' crime."
"I didn't do it!" Meatwad exclaimed.
"I didn't mean to," Shake added. "It was dark out and I thought it was the bathroom.
"That's not what I frickin' mean!" Carl exclaimed. "Hey, what the hell are you talking about?"
"What are you talking about?" Shake asked.
"So you're the one who took a crap in my bushes!"
"Greetings, fat man," Ignignot said.
"How's it going, fatty?" Err asked.
"Eh, it's going good," Carl sarcastically said. "Until you bastards stole all my food, beer, and porn!"
"You can't prove it," Err stated.
"Yeah, you got any proof to back up this asinine statement?" Ignignot asked.
Err chuckled and said, "You said 'ass'."
"Yeah, I got your frickin' proof," Carl said. "It's right frickin' here in my frickin' backyard."
"You know what you should do Carl?" Shake said. "You should do a song where you ask all these people to give you their food. You could call yourself, 'Sir Fat Ass'. You can write a song called 'For the Single, Middle-Aged, Balding Fat Man who wears Sweats… and Flip-flops."
"Ooh, don't forget the hair," Meatwad said.
"Yeah, and who's hairy and watches aerobic videos all day and, even though he watches aerobic videos, doesn't look like he's dropped a single pound."
"Are you quite done?" Carl asked.
"Yeah, I'm done."
"Although, that title is a bit too long," Meatwad said. "I don't think it could catch on."
"Enough already," Carl said. "What am I gonna do about my stuff."
"There's only one way to settle this," Ignignot said. "And that is through…the Lunar Gladiator Battle."