Sesshomaru slammed his paper down on his desk. Frankly he did agree that Rin was better than Izayoi and Kagome because she didn't need someone to take care of every aspect of her life, but he was frankly tired of everyone attributing his greatness to her. He was always the same, except to her of course, so where did they come off saying that she shouldn't be softening him anymore. Was spending time at the orphanage really making him that much less of a demon?
"I think that was a nice article about Rin," his father commented. "What didn't you like about it?"
"They think I'm getting pathetic."
Shuichi knew he would probably react this way. He certainly wasn't in love with Rin with such a selfish attitude like that. "They think you are becoming more like a civilian because you aren't the high and mighty demon you used to be."
Sesshomaru stood up with a huff and marched out of the room in search of Rin, who was sitting down to eat breakfast on this fine Saturday morning. As she took a bite of her egg on toast and read the paper Sesshomaru marched into the room. "I'm not going with you anymore to the orphanage," he informed her gruffly in front of his stepmother, half-brother, and sister-in-law.
"What?" Rin asked almost chocking on her breakfast. After she finished coughing up the egg that had gone down the wrong tube she asked him again, "What?"
"I'm not going to the orphanage with you again."
She held up the newspaper and pointed to the story. "But they said they were glad you were spending time with the orphans."
"They were mocking me for being a weakling because I visit orphans," he pointed out to her.
"Fine," she said slamming the paper and her hands on the table. "Don't go with me and just disappoint the children."
"They'll get over it," he thundered at her.
Rin stood up and shouted back at him, "That shows how much you know about children." She crossed her arms and huffed before continuing, "But I guess you wouldn't know that since you can't understand what they mean when they write stuff about other people. Geez, you're so selfish!"
"I'm selfish? You're the one throwing the fit instead of understanding the truth."
"Then if we're going by your sense of reasoning, I guess I shouldn't go with you anywhere anymore because it looks like you love me if I spend time with you, and loving me would make you weak. Thank the gods we're not having any children together either since you couldn't show them any love either."
"Why in the hell would I want half-demon children?" he asked her out of his anger. He had thought about having children with Rin a lot in the last few months, but the thought of having half-demon children who were considerably weaker than he truly frightened him.
Rin held back the tears wanting to escape from her eyes. "If you feel that way, fine! Why don't you find yourself a demon wife!" She ran out of the dinning room and down to her room where she locked herself in for the rest of the day until it was nearly time to leave for the orphanage.
The other three people in the room had agreed that it was best that someone accompany Rin on her trip citing that being out with the children might do Rin some good. Kagome gently rapped on the door for a few minutes until Rin opened the door for her. Her hair was a mess and her face was clearly tear stained. What Kagome didn't know was that Sesshomaru's words had cut Rin deep down because she had recently seriously considered discussing the possibility of having children with him some day.
She hadn't really noticed Sesshomaru's parenting skills until the week before. When he had first started coming with her to the orphanage he seemed so unsure of how to behave around the children, but last week she sat there observing how he was teaching the young boys sword fighting techniques. When one of the boys hit him in the knee with the stick he was using as a sword he didn't make a fuss but pretended to be mortally wounded to make the child feel like he was a victor. The old Sesshomaru would have yelled at the child instead of playing along. That was the moment she knew he would be a great father to their children.
"Inuyasha and I thought we might go with you to the orphanage today," Kagome suggested to Rin.
Rin wiped at her still wet face and complained, "I'm a mess today."
Kagome reached in and hugged Rin saying in a soothing voice, "It might do you some good to get out of here for a little bit, and the children will be disappointed not to see either of you."
"I guess you're right," Rin conceded. She pulled away from Kagome's embrace, washed her face, put her hair up in a bun, and changed clothes. "I'm ready now," she announced to the waiting couple. As they walked out to the car Rin asked Kagome, "Are you upset about what they wrote about you in the paper?"
"Not really," Kagome admitted. "It's one guy's opinion. Too bad Sesshomaru can't see that." Rin gave her a weak smile and they got into the limo.
Once at the orphanage the children ran up to Rin and asked where Sesshomaru was. "He couldn't come this week," she explained to them. "But I brought a couple of people with me." She pointed at Inuyasha and said, "This is Sesshomaru's brother, Inuyasha. And this is Inuyasha's wife, Kagome," she said pointing at Kagome. "They wanted to come see you today." The children gathered around the new visitors and started dragging them off to show them around their home.
After spending nearly half a day there Kagome was ready to adopt a child who Inuyasha didn't particularly care for. His name was Shippo, and he was a fox demon. At the age of 8 he was quite a handful because he knew exactly what to say to push Inuyasha's buttons, but he was also very bright and observant. So without any hesitation and only a five minute phone conversation with Shuichi the papers were signed.
The next morning Rin got up and went shopping with Kagome and Sango to look for clothes for Shippo. As they walked Rin talked to Kagome about her problem with Sesshomaru. "I'm wondering if I should even stay. I'm sure Shuichi will give me a divorce if I ask for it since he understands all that I'm going through."
"Are you sure you want to divorce him?" Kagome asked Rin hoping that it was just her over reacting to Sesshomaru like he often does with everything. She had noticed how Sesshomaru's manners had rubbed off on Rin in the same way hers had rubbed off on him. "He was just upset and was running his mouth off to make himself feel good. If you spend a couple more days angry at him he'll come back to you pleading for you to forgive him."
Rin picked through a rack of shirts looking for Shippo's size. The store they went to was well designed in that it had a place for the children to sit and watch TV or play on a slide while the parents shopped for them. "I think he meant it. I really do think he doesn't want half-demon children. And as long as he is with me, he can't have them. But he has to have an heir to the throne, so it's only a matter of time before he gets rid of me for another woman like Shuichi did with Miku. And if I stay with him any longer it will hurt me more to see him leave later on than it does now." The tears started to well up in her eyes, but with people all over the place she couldn't let others know.
Sango put her hand on Rin's shoulder and asked her, "Do you think you're in love with him?" Rin couldn't say anything because she knew her voice would crack so she looked down at the ground and nodded her head. Sango pulled Rin into a hug while Kagome rubbed one of her hands on Rin's back. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. This is supposed to be a joyous time for you, and he's not making it any easier."
The sound of a child running brought their attention back to their surroundings. Kagome looked down to see Shippo standing there. "I'm hungry," he complained.
Rin wiped away the tears with her back turned towards Shippo so he couldn't see it. Kagome squat down to his eye level and said, "Give us just five more minutes and then we can go."
"Okay," he said running away. Kagome gathered everything they had picked out, a good two weeks worth of outfits, and paid for them.
The lady at the counter looked at Kagome and gave her this look like she was trying to figure out where she had seen Kagome before. But Kagome was not nearly as much in the papers since a couple of weeks after her wedding, so the woman didn't seem to notice who she was. Rin and Sango had been trying to get Shippo away from the TV and had succeed just as Kagome was needing people to help her hold the bags. As the woman spotted Rin she called out, "Oh my gods, it's Lady Rin!" The other women in the store looked in Rin's direction. Immediately she, Kagome, and Sango started running with Shippo tucked under Kagome's arm. They managed to hide around a corner of the building as the mob went running past them.
"That was close," Sango breathed out heavily. "Maybe we should go back to your home for lunch."
"Good idea," Kagome agreed.
Rin whined, "It's not fair! I can't go anywhere without being mobbed!"
"I guess that's just part of life when you're famous," Kagome reminded her a little hurt that they had recognized Rin but not her.
"But I don't want to be famous." Before any more words could be said the mob came running back and this time spotted them, so they had to take off running for the car.
Once at home Kagome gave the bags to a couple of maids to have them take the pants to the tailors to have a hole cut out for Shippo's tail. Lunch had been served already, so the ladies and Shippo sat down to the leftovers while Izayoi chose to sit there and talk with them. Izayoi was more than joyful to spend time with her first grandchild, even if he was adopted.
"Maybe you should come live with me and Miroku for a little while until you guys figure this all out," Sango suggested out of the blue. "They say absence makes the heart grow fonder."
Izayoi's attention immediately snapped to Rin. "I don't know," Rin answered her.
"But if you are seriously thinking about asking for a divorce, maybe it is best that you get out now," Kagome then suggested.
Izayoi finally had to ask, "What did I miss?"
Rin banged her head against the table and let it lie there as Kagome explained, "You saw how Sesshomaru reacted to Rin yesterday. So Rin's afraid that he really meant that he only wants full demon children and he's going to divorce her one day to be with a demon woman who can give him full demon children."
Concern for Rin washed over Izayoi. "I'm sure he would never do that," she tried to explain to Rin. "I know he doesn't always understand what happened between his parents and between his father and I, but he has vowed since he was a child that he would never get divorced to be with someone else."
A moan escaped Rin's lips and echoes off of the table. "That means he's only with me because he doesn't want to look like a liar."
Kagome whispered to Izayoi putting her hand up to the side of her mouth closest to Rin, "She's in love with him and he hasn't told her about his feelings yet."
Rin pointed out to Kagome, "I can still hear you!" She lifted her head and said to them, "It was all a mistake in the first place, and I made the unfortunate choice to think he's more than he really is. He's still the same cold, human-hating person he was when we first met."
"That's not true," Izayoi contradicted her. "He's a completely different person now than he was then. Before he met you he wouldn't give up nearly a half a day once a week to spend time with anyone."
"He didn't want to originally. It was all Shuichi's idea." She put her head back down on the table and felt the tears welling up again. Damn her stupid tears!
Sango sat there unsure as to what to say. She had Miroku had their own set of problems, but she was sure that even when he did flirt with other women that he didn't really want to be with any of them. In his mind she was the only one he wanted to catch. "Please just stay with me for a couple of nights so you can get a better hold of the situation. Being here isn't going to help any if you are trying too hard to avoid each other." Rin knew her friend had a point so she agreed.
As the ladies helped Rin pack enough clothes for a month Shippo ran to the study to find Inuyasha. "Dad, can I do something with you?"
"Where's your mother?" Inuyasha asked fully knowing that he would rather be doing anything but work except that Sesshomaru was riding him pretty hard about slacking off lately.
"She's helping Aunt Rin pack her clothes up."
Sesshomaru, who had been trying to do everything he could to ignore Inuyasha today because of all of the ranting and raving about Kagome adopting Shippo, suddenly paid attention to the scene unfolding in front of him. "Why is Aunt Rin packing?" he asked Shippo.
Inuyasha watched carefully to see what Sesshomaru would do in case he might in his anger hurt Shippo. "Mom says that Aunt Rin loves you but you don't want children with her. Aunt Rin said something about a divorce." Shippo turned to Inuyasha and asked, "What's a divorce?"
As Inuyasha tried to explain to Shippo about divorce Sesshomaru was heading down the hallway towards his bedroom. As soon as he opened the door the chattering stop. Sitting on the bed was Rin with tears streaking down her face while the other ladies were standing around throwing clothes into an open suitcase. Izayoi asked the other two women who didn't belong in the conversation to accompany her to the study to talk with Shuichi. Before they left the room Sango whispered to Rin, "I'll be outside in case you need someone to protect you." Rin nodded her head just slightly to show that she understood.
Sango shut the door behind her leaving a seething Sesshomaru alone with the upset Rin. "You want a divorce?"
"I don't know," she said to him without even looking at him. If she had looked at him she would have seen the sadness his face expressed. His tone showed his anger, but his body language clearly showed that he was sad and frightened.
"When were you going to tell me?"
"I don't know. Maybe when you finally noticed months from now that I'm not here anymore." She touched one of her shirts that was half in the suitcase and half out. The material was soft and comforting under her fingers. "It was bound to happen eventually. One day you would have left me for a demon."
He walked up to her and grabbed her by the shoulders hoping to make her look him in the face. "Why would you think I would take a demon into my bed if I'm still married to you?"
"Because your father left your mother for another woman." At this point she looked up at him, but the anger in his voice was now showing in his face. The last thing he wanted people to do was compare him to his father in regards to marriage. "And because I can't give you what you need."
"What do I need?" He drew out the word 'need'.
"An heir. A full blooded demon heir. And all I can give you is a half-demon."
"I was going to fix that."
Rin pulled away from his grasp and got off of the bed from the other side to keep him away from her. If he held her to him again she might just collapse into his embrace. "You can't fix something like that unless you were planning on creating a full demon child with someone while expecting me to just watch you screw someone else!" The anger inside of her rose. They had fought before, but she had never been this truly mad at him.
"I wasn't going to be with someone else. There is a special jewel out there called the Shikon no Tama that the finder can make a wish on. I was going to turn you into a demon."
"What kind of an idea is that? Turning me into something else all for the sake of your pride?"
"You don't understand, Rin. I have to have a demon heir because a half-demon heir will not have the same powers needed to fight. We've been rather peaceful these past four years, but at any time we're bound to have the enemy marching into the country again."
Rin calmed down and realized something. "Then it is better that I leave you. If it's for the safety of the country..."
"But you can be that demon woman," he protested.
"No. I will never be the demon woman you want me to be. Once I lose my humaness I can't be the loving person I am. I've seen what demon blood does to a half-demon. Inuyasha becomes a killing machine when his demon blood goes unchecked. If I become a demon then there is no bounds to what I will do to you and possibly to everyone in your family."
"We can't guarantee that."
"Do you really want to test that? Besides, if you loved me like a husband should, then you wouldn't want to change me." She had him cornered now. If he tried to tell her that he loved her he would have to see that she was right, but if he didn't love her she would walk away. He didn't say a word because he didn't know what to say. Anymore his emotions were too hard to decipher. He had never felt this way about anyone before, so he didn't know how to name it. "That's what I thought," she said angrily. She opened the door to reveal Sango waiting outside with her Hiraikotsu in hand and Shuichi standing nearby. "I'm ready to go as soon as people help me with my luggage."
The two waiting people both went into the room and picked up the bags all the while trying to avoid the defeated demon standing right next to the bed. When Rin had left with Sango, Shuichi came back to find Sesshomaru had not moved. "You better start thinking of a way to make this up to her because just apologizing isn't going to be enough this time." He couldn't see the defeated look on Sesshomaru's face, but the way his son was standing there with shoulders hunched spoke a thousand words.
"I don't think there is a way to make this better. She won't become a demon, and I can't live without demon children." His voice came out slowly and broke towards the end of the speech.
"You are a fool if you love her and don't chase after her! Sometimes there are more important things than conquest." Sometimes Shuichi thought he failed as a father since Sesshomaru often demonstrated a lack in common sense and emotional control. This was one such time.
"I have to go find that jewel," Sesshomaru said determined.
"Have you not heard a word that Rin said to you? She's right, she won't be the same if you make her a demon. Just give up and learn to love her for what she is!" Sesshomaru would have none of it. He was bound and determined to carry out his plan and get things to the way he wanted them to be. As he walked past his father Shuichi called out to him, "I will disinherit you if you leave."
Sesshomaru turned around to face him and pointed out, "Inuyasha is not equipped to take over. We all know that."
"He has better control over his emotions and his actions than you do at this moment." Sesshomaru continued walking down the hallway so Shuichi yelled after him, "Then I wash my hands of you. You are no longer my son from this day forward." Yet that would do nothing to stop Sesshomaru from making the choice he had made.