"What the hell's a 'Lunar Gladiator Battle'?" Carl asked.
"I will tell you what it is," Ignignot replied. "It is a battle to the death between competitors."
"And the rules are: there are no rules," Err added.
"Yes, and the last man standing will be crowned the Ultimate Moon Master," Ignignot said.
"It's pretty much the highest frickin' honor you can get."
"Well, what do I have to do to win?" Carl asked.
"It's simple really; you, the shake, and the meat man fight each other until one is left standing," Ignignot stated.
"I don't give a crap about those two," Carl stated. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I do wanna beat the hell outta them, but why the hell can't I fight you two, since you're the ones who stole my stuff?"
"That's because this is too barbaric and uncivilized for us to participate in," Ignignot stated.
"Yeah, and we're more advanced than you; so, suck on that, fat man."
"Hold on," Meatwad said. "I ain't gettin' into no fight if Frylock says it's not okay."
"That's another thing Frylock told me to do," Shake said. "He said that if we were to enter some sort of fighting competition, we could."
"Well, alright then, as long as Frylock said it was okay."
"In fact, he said that if Meatwad doesn't enter a fighting competition, if challenged to one, that I was supposed to beat you with a metal pipe until you did."
"Shoot, I don't wanna get hit on the head with a metal pipe again; I'm still recovering from the time I was told to go to the store and didn't because my shows were on."
"As I was saying," Ignignot continued, "the Ultimate Moon Master is the highest honor you can get on the moon."
"Only three people have received that honor," Err added.
"Well, who were they?" Meatwad asked.
"The first was known by the name of Neil Armstrong," Ignignot said.
"Hey, isn't he that jazz player?" Meatwad asked.
"No, you idiot, he's the bicyclist who got nut cancer," Shake said.
"You are both wrong," Ignignot said, "He was the first man from Earth to walk on the moon. Once he stepped down, we immediately challenged him to a Lunar Gladiator Battle. He won it with ease and he became known from that day on as 'Neil Moonstrong' because he was strong…and he was on the moon."
"And the flag was flapping because the moon was still shaking from his epic battle," Err added.
"So, who else did you challenge?" Carl inquired.
"You may know the second as Jackie Moon," Ignignot stated.
"Yeah, the basketball player," Err said.
"No way!" Shake exclaimed. "The Jackie Moon?"
"Exactly, before then he was known as Jackie Munigowski and no one would take him seriously with such a name," Ignignot said.
"When we first challenged him, I was like, 'What kind of name is Munigowski anyway?'" Err said.
"After his battle we inspired him to play basketball and write his hit single."
"Who was the third, then?" Shake asked.
The Mooninites were silent for a while before Ignignot asked, "The third what?"
"You know, the third Ultimate Moon Master," Meatwad said.
"There was no third," Ignignot said.
"But you said there was," Shake said.
"That's right; you did," Err added.
"Well why would I say that when there was only two?"
"Because you're dumb," Err said. "This is more embarrassing than the time you asked that girl to give you a lube job."
"Well, how was I supposed to know that it was non-sexual? Usually verbs that are joined with the word 'job' are sexual."
"I had the same problem last week," Carl added.
"Enough of this boring talk!" Ignignot exclaimed.
"Yeah, you're boring us!" Err also exclaimed.
"But weren't you the ones telling us this stuff?" Meatwad inquired.
"Silence, you will not tell us who was supposed to be telling you stuff or not!" Ignignot yelled. "For we must head to the moon for the Lunar Gladiator Battle."
The five of them headed towards the Mooninite's spaceship, got inside, and headed toward the moon, ready to engage, and watch, the upcoming battle.