Disclaimer : I don't own anything to do with Crossing Jordan
A/N : I have to mainly blame me writing a Crossing Jordan story on NCCJFAN. I downloaded an epsiode of Crossing Jordan, then started reading the stories, but when i was reading, and still reading at the moment, the stories by NCCJFAN, i just felt compelled to write, even though my NCIS story is currently finished, but sitting in my bag to be type. Lazy i know.
"After so many years, after im able to admit my feelings, hes throwing them back in my face
"After so many years, after I'm able to admit my feelings, he's throwing them back in my face. He thinks that I told him out of pity. I told him out of love. I told him that I loved him and he just said, 'screw you'. And the thing is, I can't do it anymore."
With tears in her eyes, Jordan went to the medicine cabinet and took out a number of pill bottles. She couldn't actually read what they were because of the tears, but she didn't really care. She took a number of pills from each bottle and downed them with vodka. With a piece of paper crunched up in her hand, Jordan collapsed into a deep and wanting sleep.
Garrett had called into see Woody a few hours after he had kicked Jordan out.
"Hey mate. How you feeling?"
"Better. Wish I was out of the hospital. Wish I could feel my god damn legs. Wish god had just taken me instead of letting me live" Woody said the last part quietly
"I think he had more important things installed for you to let you go" Garrett replied
"Like what?"
"Well, for one, Jordan."
"What do you mean Jordan?"
"Well, no one has gotten her to admit her feelings to anyone, and you have. She told you how she felt. She was able to open herself up to being hurt" Garrett replied
"What do you mean Garrett?"
"Well, Jordan telling you she loved you. What did you say?"
"What I thought" Woody replied
"So, where is she? I thought she would be here, happy as Larry" Garrett replied with a smile and looking around to see where Jordan was.
"She's not here. I kicked her out. I don't want her to love me out of pity" Woody replied solemnly
"Shit…..what did you say Woody?" Garrett said cautiously.
"Screw you……get out…..don't want to see you again" he replied slowly
"You idiot. If anything's happened, I'm going to kill you myself. You get all angry because she hasn't told you, she saves your life, tells you that she loves you, and you back hand her, just you……….I cant stand to be near you at the moment" Garrett said, then storms off to find Jordan.
Garrett tries to ring he mobile, and her landline. He rings the morgue and then tries Lily's to see if Jordan has been to her. Her phones are ringing out, and she hasn't been to the morgue or to see Lily. He heads straight for her apartment.
Garrett knocks on her apartment door, and when there are no answers, he opens it with a key that she gave him awhile ago in case of emergencies. He opens to door, runs through the apartment trying to find her. He found her in the bathroom, with the medicine cabinet open and a bottle of vodka on the floor.
"Not again" he said as he dials 911 and trying to find a pulse. "Yes, I need an ambulance. Pearle Street apartment, attempted suicide. Drugs and alcohol. Very weak pulse, no breathing." He said into the phone, then cutting the call so that he could administer EAR
"Don't do this Jordan, please" Garrett kept saying in between breathing into her and checking her pulse to make sure she still had one. He heard the sirens, and when he heard noises, he shouted 'in here' and let them take over, telling them everything that he knew so far. They got her breathing and stabilised and took her to the hospital, with garret riding in the back with her.
They took her straight through and Garrett called the morgue. They were going to come down when they could. Lily also contacted Eddie and let him know, and a few were going to head down and sit and wait for the outcome.
By the time the doctor came out, Garrett, Lily, Bug, Nigel, Eddie, and Matt were waiting in the waiting room for news.
"Dr. Macy" the doctor came out.
"Garrett" he said as he got up and shook the doctor's hand
"I'm Dr. West. I took care of Dr. Cavanaugh. She's obviously done a lot of damage. Alcohol and pills. And thankyou for getting the pill information for me. We've pumped her stomach, but with the amount of damage, and no breathing, she's in a coma. We won't know how long or what damage til she wakes up, if she wakes up. We don't know how long she wasn't breathing" he said
"Ok. When can I see her?"
"As soon as we get her settled into a room, I'll have a nurse come out and get you. By the way, this was found in her clenched hand. We retrieved it when we were trying to put the IVs in" the Dr. replied and walked off
Garrett looked at the paper, turned around and the gang came up to him.
"How is she?" they asked
"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill that fucking bastard" he said storming off to Woody's room. The gang didn't know who he was talking about until he started heading for the stairs, and realised, Nigel, Matt and Eddie chased after him, and Bug and Lily stayed in case the nurse came back.
Woody jumped as soon as the door was shoved open. He saw Garrett came in full force
"I'm going to kill you" Garrett said to Woody ready to punch him, but was stopped by Matt and Eddie
"What's going on?" Woody asked now frightened something happened.
"Jordan's tried to kill herself again, and this time, it was because of you. Your going to pay if something happens" Garrett said, but at hearing this, Nigel went for Woody and Matt was quick enough to stop him.
"What did you do, you ass hole?" Nigel said as Matt and Eddie led Nigel and Garrett out of the room
"Look, I don't know what he's done, but killing him or blaming him isn't going to help" Eddie said trying to calm him
"It won't make it better. It won't make Jordan better. But maybe it will make him feel the same as what Jordan did when she wanted to end it" Garrett said giving the letter to Eddie, the storming off.
I found love years ago. I just didn't know how to express it in words or actions. I thought just saying the truth, saying I loved him would make both myself and him happy. I thought he loved me. I thought he wanted to be with me. But, he doesn't. Just another person I love walk out on me. First my mum, then my dad, and the person I loved more than either. How can you say you love someone, and be so cruel to them? All I know is that know he doesn't want me, I have no one. No family. There is no place for me anywhere. Not he's heart. Not he's life. And not this world. I can't go on knowing he's in it, and doesn't love me like I love him. I always have and always will love you.
As Eddie read out the letter, they grew more furious. She had finally let go and bared all, and it was thrown in her face, so, she had just let go altogether. They walked down and were able to go into Jordan's room. They sat vigil all night, Lily having time to call Paul from St Inez, asking him that although what she did was a sin, if her could still pray for her. He did knowing what must have driven her to this, but also as a friend. As morning came around, and she still had not awakened, they all left except for Garrett. He stayed until afternoon when Lily came in.
There was a rotation on Jordan between the people in the morgue and the Boston PD. They made sure that someone was always with Jordan, talking to her, praying for her, letting her know that she is loved and wanted.
3 weeks later, Woody was out of the hospital and into rehab. No one from the morgue was talking to him. His fellow officers were only courteous towards him. Garret got a called from the hospital
"Dr. Macy. This is Dr. West"
"Is it Jordan? Has she woken?" Garrett quickly asked
"No, she hasn't. But I have some news. I was wondering if you wanted to come down and talk with me."
"Yes, I'll be there within half an hour" Garrett replied already standing and getting his things ready. He ran out telling Lily that he was heading to the hospital because the doc has news and that he will call with the results.
"Dr. West"
"Dr. Macy"
"What's the news?"
"We did tests this morning. Jordan's brain is perfectly fine. Actually, everything is perfectly fine"
"Then how come she isn't waking up?"
"I think it's the will to live. I mean, she was brought here in the first place because of suicide?"
"Yeah. She's done it once before. She pulled through then. Why not know?"
"Has something happened that might have triggered it?"
"Actually, yes. I know exactly. I had to do with the letter you found. You see" Garrett continued leading Dr. West to a seat and continued "Jordan's had a rough life. Her mother was murder when she was young. Jordan found the body. Her father was a cop, so, she's grown up being independent and cautious. After a couple of bad relationships, she hasn't let anybody in. the past year, her father has left to god knows where, and can't find him, and the man that she had loved for years has broken her heart. She had finally been able to open up to him fearing she was losing him, only for him to turn around and throw it in her face. I think that was the last straw for her. She's usually a strong person, but when it comes to her heart, she's quite weak" Garrett explained
"Well, that's tough. But I think that the only way she's either going to wake up, or finally let go, is to 'face' her attacker. She needs to hear this man voice. Whether she wakes or let's go, is up to her. I think either way, it will give closure to her, and to her friends" Dr. West explained.
"Ok. I'll get everyone down her tonight, to be with her, and then get the guy in tomorrow morning. I want everyone to say goodbye, just in case" Garrett replied sadly.
"Seely" Eddie said walking over to Matt "just heard from Lily. Garrett wants us all down at the hospital tonight. Doc said that she's fine, but hasn't the will to live. Doc wants her to 'face' the attacker" Eddie said nodding towards Woody who was secretly overhearing "he said it would probably be better to say our goodbyes tonight in case she decides to let go" Eddie explained sadly
"What does that mean" Matt replied
"It means that garrets going to get Woody to talk to her tomorrow, and then its up to her whether she wants to live or go"
"Ok. I'll be there tonight, but I'm also going to be there tomorrow too. Even if I'm not allowed in the room, I want to be close by" he said
"You, me and the morgue all" Eddie replied with a small smile.
At the hospital that night, everyone was saying there goodbyes. They all comforted each other; they talked about the good times, and the bad. The thing Jordan has done to help them all, and to piss them off as well. They especially talked about all the times that Jordan made them laugh, whether it was to make them feel good, or even a joke, or just being her sweet self.
The nurses allowed them all the stay as long as they wanted. They had all come to love them all. Wanting to get the young lady to wake up. They knew that they all loved her in some way. They also knew what was going to happen in the morning. It was do or die, figuritively speaking.
"Don't blame me if she dies. I want her alive just as much as you all" he said and he left the group outside the room, knowing full well, that if she does die, he would be blamed, by them and by himself.
Woody walked slowly up to her side, and sat down in the chair next to the bed.
"Jordan. I know you're there. I'm sorry for what I said. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. And I'm sorry for dismissing you're feelings like that. I was upset and angry. I love you Jordan. I always have loved you, and always will. Please wake up. I need you and want you. I can't live my life without you there" Woody said with tears, leaning up and kissing her softly on the forehead, then a soft lingering kiss on the lips.
It was then he felt her lips slowly move
"I loved you Woody. I've always loved you. You broke my heart, and I can never forgive you for that…………………………..
Hope you liked it...
Please R & R
A/N : I know that I didn't end it, thats because it hasn't. I'm doing something I've never done before, and thats have two endings. They should be up in a couple of hours.