A/N: Okay, I was not happy with the first version of Chapter 10, so I did a little editing/rewrite. Enjoy!

Chapter 10: Confrontation

By time Johnny made it home, he was exhausted. He didn't even eat his free meal from Kelly's – he gave it to his driver. Trevor tried to corner him when he entered the mansion, but Johnny ignored him and went straight up to his room and passed out. Unfortunately, sleep was not his friend again this night. He had another nightmare of Lulu being hurt. This time, instead of being shot, she had been kidnapped and put on one of his boats that was receiving a shipment. His enemies then blew up the boat with her on it. He woke up in a sweat, heart racing. There would be no rest for the weary.

When he made his way down to the office, Trevor finally cornered Johnny and read him the riot act. He really didn't pay much attention to Trevor while he ranted… his mind was on his bad dreams versus what Georgie had told him.

"Staying out all night? A little irresponsible."

"What's this about getting in a brawl? I tell you to stay away from that girl and your fighting over her?"

"… nobody is going to want to do business with someone so out of control…"

"You can't keep doing whatever you want! You're running the business now…"

"Your father would kill you if he saw how you were slowly destroying this organization."

"You have to make this your priority!"

Finally Johnny sighed and said, "Are you finished reaming me yet?"

"John," Trevor responded, voice soothing, "I'm just trying to look out for your well being and the well being of this organization."

"Are you sure you're not just trying to make sure I don't make you look bad?"

"It's not about me, John, it's about you. I'm just here to help you ease into the business. But you have to learn responsibility."

"And you have to learn to follow my orders."

"Of course, John," he replied with a false smile. "After all, you are the new boss."

"Right," Johnny said, eyeing Trevor suspiciously. Every day, he became more certain that Trevor was up to something. But he didn't know what yet. "Anything else you need or are we done here?'

"Ah, I have some business to take care of in Manhattan today. I'm going to be gone until late tonight – actually, I probably won't be back until morning. You know how to reach me if you need me."

"I know, and I won't."

After Trevor left, Johnny finally relaxed – as much as he could with all that was on his mind. Over the next few hours, he tried to get some semblance of work done, but he was just too distracted to accomplish much. Finally, his phone vibrated and he decided to take a break and check who it was.

1 New Message

Lulu

Johnny sighed. This was the third time she messaged him – once last night, once this morning and now. She wanted to know how he was doing, and each message she sent sounded increasingly angrier than the one before. That could be because he hadn't answered her yet. And he wasn't going to – not until he could figure out what to do about her. Johnny took a deep breath and went back to work.

Lulu was furious. Johnny hadn't answered any of her messages asking how he was doing. She knew he was trying to push her out of his life, but seriously? It was kind of her fault he was hurt in the first place – she just wanted to make sure he was okay. Not to mention she was a little aggravated that he hadn't bothered to check on her. And asking a nurse about her condition didn't count. It was impersonal. And she didn't care he was trying to push her away or if she was being childish – but Lulu thought she at least deserved a phone call or response.

All Lulu wanted was for Johnny to give in to his attraction to her. Stop thinking that something bad was going to happen. Logan already proved that danger doesn't always have ties to the mob. She just wanted him to hold her and tell her things were going to be okay.

After everything that happened – Logan and Maxie, the Black and White Ball, her father and the break-up with Logan yesterday – she was barely holding it together. And who was the one who came to her rescue each time? Johnny. And then who would flip like a switch and run away right after? Johnny. And she was getting sick of this game.

So now, instead of worrying about how to get Johnny to come to his senses, she was pissed off and itching for a fight. And she was going to get one.

A few hours later, he still barely got done half of what he should have, his head was pounding and his knee was throbbing. Johnny hadn't taken any of his prescription; he wasn't fond of taking drugs, even medicine – especially ones that had a tendency for addiction, like Percocet. But at this point, the pain was getting almost unbearable, and he broke down and took it. The minute he swallowed the water and pill, his stomach rumbled. Almost in shock, Johnny realized he hadn't eaten anything since the day before yesterday. Between the nightmare yesterday morning, throwing up afterwards, the brawl with Logan and then spending the day at the hospital, all he had was the cup of coffee from Kelly's. He looked at his watch – it was already 7:00pm. The whole day had flown by again and he felt like he had accomplished nothing – work related or personal. He sighed and decided to forget about everything for the rest of the night. Before he could pick up the phone to ring the kitchen for some dinner, one of the guards knocked on the door and poked his head in the room.

"Boss?"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Lulu Spencer here to see you."

Well there goes my appetite again. "Tell her I'm not taking any visitors today."

The guard went back into the hall to relay the message. He heard Lulu's muffled voice getting more agitated. Then he heard a very loud non-feminine voice groan – and then silence. Next, the door swung wide open and Lulu stormed towards the desk.

"Not taking any visitors today, huh? Want to make a bet?" Her face was flashing with fury; to Johnny she looked beautiful showing such passion. But he was still so mixed up, he tried to push that thought to the back of his mind.

He peeked around her to see his guard crumpled on the floor, groaning and holding a very sensitive area. He looked back to Lulu and said, "Did you have to castrate Tommy?"

She shrugged. "When he told me you weren't seeing anyone, I didn't care. I was going to see you anyway. He got in my way."

Johnny tried hard to keep from laughing. Tommy was 6'5" and 250lbs and he was brought down by a 5'3", 120lb. slip of a girl. Maybe he should look into new guards… He cleared his throat and picked up the phone. "Yeah, Pete, I need some help with Tommy downstairs… No, I need someone to help him to one of the guest rooms. And bring an icepack." He hung up and looked at Lulu. "So what was so incredibly important that you had to see me so badly?"

"So, you go visit Georgie and see how she's doing, but you completely ignore me? And you couldn't bother yourself with letting me know how you are? I had to hear it second hand?"

Okay, so she was pissed. And her attitude put Johnny directly in "push-away-mode". "What's the matter, Lulu, jealous?"

"No. Just annoyed that you couldn't be bothered to make sure I was okay. Especially when I waited around all day just to make sure you were!"

"A nurse updated me on your condition. There was no need to see you. As a matter of fact, I thought I told you – "

"Yeah, keep away, it's not safe, blah, blah, blah. You know, you're starting to sound like a broken record."

"Well maybe if you listened to me, I wouldn't have to repeat myself so much!"

"And maybe if you got your head out of your ass and realized what was right in front of you, you wouldn't be so uptight all the time!"

Jesus Christ, Johnny thought. I need a drink to deal with this. He got up slowly and limped towards the bar off the side of the desk.

"What are you doing," Lulu exclaimed. "Where are your crutches?"

"I'm only moving like a foot. Calm down." He put some ice in a glass, poured himself 3 fingers of scotch and went to take a sip – only to have the glass snatched out of his hand a second later. "What the hell?"

Lulu grabbed the bottle from the bar, too. "What painkillers did Robin give you?"

Johnny sighed. He seemed to do that a lot when it came to her. "Lulu –"

"What painkillers did Robin give you," she repeated.

"Percocet."

"Did you take any today?"

"A little while ago."

"And you were going to drink and use oxycodone? Smart, Johnny, real smart."

He flushed at her condescending tone. "I already had a mother once, Lulu. I don't need another."

"I'm not trying to be your mother. I'm trying to understand why you're not using your brain. Mixing alcohol and narcotics is not smart! Do you want to kill yourself?"

"If you don't shut up, I just might want to."

They glared at each other for a minute before Lulu put the drinks down and threw up her hands. "You know what? Do whatever you want. Live, die, be a cripple – I don't care." She turned away to leave.

"Wait," Johnny said, grabbing her arm uninjured to prevent her flight. "Hold on one second."

"Are you taking lessons from Logan," she snarled. "Let go of me!" She jerked her arm out of his grasp. Already being off balance from only being able to use one leg, Johnny pitched forward when she pulled away. He fell into the desk, smashing his injured knee along the side. He blanched and crumbled to the floor.

Lulu gasped and flew to his side. "Johnny! Oh my god, are you okay? I'm sorry!"

He gritted his teeth against the pain and nausea. "Help me up and over to the couch."

Very carefully, Lulu looped his arm around her neck and gently helped Johnny to his feet. They slowly moved across the room, Johnny dragging his bad leg behind him as to not put any weight on it. When she got him settled on the couch, she placed pillows under his knee and foot to keep it raised. "You need ice. Where's the kitchen?"

"Down the hall to the right."

"I'll be right back."

Johnny didn't do anything while she was gone except to concentrate on not vomiting from the pain. He didn't even notice Lulu come back into the room until he felt her roll up his pant leg. She took off the brace and ace bandage that was wrapped around his knee and gasped when she saw it. It was swollen and a lovely shade of blue and purple. "Oh, Johnny. I'm sorry. This is all my fault." She carefully laid the ice pack on his knee.

"Stop it," he snapped. "It's not your fault. It's Logan's fault. He should have never touched you."

They sat in silence for a few moments. Finally, Lulu broke the stillness. "Johnny," she said softly, "why can't we have a conversation without arguing anymore?"

"Because we both want different things and we're both too stubborn to give in to the other person's wishes."

"That's where you're wrong. We both want the same thing."

"What's that?"

"Each other."

"No, I want you to be safe."

"Drop the act, Johnny. You care about me. What was it you said? 'The rest of my life is garbage, but when you're around… I don't want to lose you.' That's what you told me."

"Exactly. Which is why I want you to be safe! And staying away from me – "

She shut him up by leaning forward and kissing him. It was slow and sweet and unlike either of their previous kisses. Her hands cupped his face and his hand reached up and curled in her hair. After a minute they broke apart, both a little out of breath and glassy eyed. Johnny didn't even notice the pain in his knee anymore.

"I don't want to lose you either," Lulu said. "That's why I keep fighting with you. That's why we keep arguing."

"Lulu, what do you want to hear? That I've had nightmares of you being shot to death in my arms and being blown up because of me?"

Her heart ached at that admission. That's why he was trying so hard to keep his distance. "Those are only dreams. Your fears are being projected into crazy nightmares that are not going to happen! You need to stop worrying about what 'could' happen and worry about what's right in front of you."

"What's right in front of me is someone who's going to get hurt as a result of my life."

Lulu was getting nowhere. She was going about this the wrong way. What she needed to do was to get through to him that she could handle the danger – she'd already been though much worse.

"Okay, so answer me this, Johnny. Is me staying away from you going to protect me the next time there's a deadly epidemic running through town?"

He looked at her like she was crazy. "Have you been watching too much 'House' or something?"

Lulu just looked at him.

"Oh come on, Lulu! What's the chance of that ever happening? A million to one?"

"Well, guess who pulled those odds a year and a half ago."

"What are you talking about?"

"My father came back from one of his trips with a present: a deadly virus called encephalitis. They didn't find an antidote right away and few people died. I was almost one of them. Could you have protected me from that?"

"That's a highly unusual and extreme case." Johnny wasn't budging.

"Okay," she replied, not ready to give up yet, "take this example then. I was accidentally kidnapped by Lorenzo Alcazar. Accidentally! I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I still got kidnapped by a rival mob family. And, in order to make sure I didn't talk, the order was given to kill me."

"So?"

"'So'," she repeated. "I was kidnapped by the mob, not because of Sonny and certainly not because of you. It comes with the territory of living in Port Charles."

"And since living in Port Charles is so perilous, you don't need my life adding extra danger to yours."

Now it was her turn to sigh. "Johnny, I've been kidnapped and shot at long before I ever met you. Even if you were out of my life, it would still happen. My dad is a schemer, and I'm friends with the Corinthos/Morgan organization. Do you really think life is going to be all roses for me?"

Johnny's resolve was finally beginning to crumble. Lulu was making some valid points. But he wasn't ready to give up the fight just yet.

"So what do you think a serial killer running around town is? Or having to worry about Logan? Whether he's going to go psycho if we bump into each other again? Or a million other things that could happen to me just because of life in general? Stop making excuses, Johnny."

"That sounds like something Georgie told me earlier."

"Spinelli calls her 'Wise Georgie' for a reason, you know," she replied, a hopeful smile gracing her features. She paused for a minute. "Don't you want a family, Johnny," Lulu asked suddenly.

"What," he asked, taken off guard by the extremely personal question.

"A family. Wife, children, etc. Do you want one of your own?"

"That's a loaded question. I would love to have a family someday. I just don't know if it's possible."

"So you're going to give that all up. Waking up next to the person you love every day. Missing a child's first steps and words. Missing the excitement of Christmas morning with little children rushing to open presents. Never having anyone to confide your dreams and fears to."

Johnny turned his face away. He did want a family… badly. He wanted to give them what he didn't have – a loving father. A mother. Happiness and comfort. This was a subject that hit him harder than he ever thought it would. He couldn't reply to Lulu's statement – if he opened his mouth, he just might start crying.

Johnny's silence was deafening. Her eyes filled with tears and she fought to breathe. Suddenly, the fight left her and she felt exhausted and defeated. There was nothing that she, Carly or Georgie could do or say. Johnny was determined to keep her away and that was that. "Okay," she said, standing up. "Take care of your knee." She walked towards the door to leave.

He turned back around to watch her depart. There was something off about her now, though. This wasn't the walk of a strong, confident woman; it was the walk of a broken little girl. He did that to her. He broke her. The person walking out of his office was not Lulu Spencer. It was an empty shell. Like he was. He had nothing in this life but the business and Lulu. And he was learning that she was the more important of the two. Lulu made him feel alive when she was around. She was the only bright spot in his universe, and he just snuffed out that star. It killed Johnny that he caused this transformation.

A new resolve came over him. Things were going to change. He was going to change. He wanted to feel alive all the time. He wanted Lulu. He didn't want to be an empty shell the rest of his life. Johnny wasn't going to deny himself any longer. Ignoring the pain in his knee (and his crutches), he launched off the couch and rushed after her – half limping, half dragging his leg behind him.

"Lulu! Lulu, wait!"

She was almost to the front door when she heard Johnny calling her. She wiped the tears off her cheeks. "What," she said, not turning around.

Now Johnny was at a loss for words. What did he say to her now? "I'm starving. Would you come to dinner with me?"

She turned around, confused. "What? Wait – Johnny where are your crutches," she asked, rushing over to help him keep his balance.

"I was in a hurry," he replied with a smirk. "So, dinner?"

Lulu eyed him warily. "Why? You actually want to be seen in public with me? Aren't you afraid I may be taken out by a sniper," she said bitterly.

He shut her up by kissing her. When he broke away, he laid his forehead against hers and said quietly, "I remember pulling a gun on Logan because he made you cry. Now I made you cry."

More tears streamed down her cheeks. "Yeah, well…"

Johnny wiped them away with his thumbs. "As 'Wise Georgie' once told me, I have to stop living my life according to 'what ifs'." He smiled, a real genuine smile. It felt like a weight had been lifted from him shoulders. He was so worried about keeping Lulu safe and pushing her away, he couldn't let himself have what he really wanted. "Otherwise, I'll wind up alone and miserable and as crazy as my old man. Her words not mine."

Lulu gave a small smile. "Wise Georgie."

"We're taking a big risk, you know, especially you."

"Risk?"

"The risk of being together despite who I am."

She put her hand on his cheek. "You're worth it."

He turned his head to kiss her palm. "You think that much of me? Despite everything?"

"Everything you've done has been for my best interest. Whether or not I agree with it is a different story, but you always fought for what you believed in. How could I not think the world of you?"

Johnny felt it hard to breathe. He never felt like this before. Someone having this level of trust in him. It was overwhelming. "All I've done is try to push you away. What good could I have possibly done to deserve you?"

"You always do what's right, Johnny," she said simply and leaned down to kiss him again.