Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters

And so it went on for days, Sam would force himself to eat as Dean watched on feeling guiltier with each bite his brother took. The nightmares were still a regular feature but as with their father's reprimand Sam now tried to control the scream that usually came with his wakening, moving from the bed to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

The first night it happened Dean was about to get up to check on his brother. He was starting to worry as Sam had been in there for just over an hour and he was pretty sure that he had heard sobbing earlier. The decision was made for him as the bathroom door opened and his brother emerged, Dean doing his best to pretend that he was asleep.

It was then that Dean realised that they had started to play a game; Sam would pretend that he was fine; that he was back eating and sleeping and Dean would pretend that he thought that the nightmares had gone away.

But at least Dean had one glimmer of hope to hold onto, as much as Sam was struggling; at least he was eating again and sure he couldn't help feeling guilty watching his brother force himself to swallow but it was for his brothers own good. Well that was until he accidentally overheard Sam getting sick in the bathroom. At first he thought that maybe Sam was coming down with something but when it happened a second and a third time Dean had to admit to himself that Sam's deception over the nightmares continued through to what he was eating or not to put it more accurately.

Now he was at a loss what to do, how to help his brother and for the life of him he didn't know when it had happened. Sure there were the two years when Sam was at Stanford, but when he came back into his life he had been able to comfort Sam and they had connected again, but now Dean didn't know what to do.

Since Jess's death, Sam had become so consumed with the hunt that Dean was scared with the physical shape his brother he would end up getting himself killed. He knew that he couldn't confront Sam, look how well that had gone down last time, but he couldn't risk going on a hunt now.

Looking up at his brother now, he saw Sam hunched over the laptop, the faint blue and white glow hi-lighting his brothers pale face which were in stark contrast with the dark bags under his eyes. Laying his head back against the pillow, he closed his eyes, hoping to figure out some way to help his brother.

SN

Sam would have had to be blind not to notice that his brother's constant stares and sad, almost sympathetic glances and he fought hard not to let his emotions over take him. There were times when all he wanted to do was release his emotions and tell Dean everything, how he dreams of Jessica dying almost every night, how he had had the dreams of her death for days before she had actually died. But as soon as that thought entered his head, it would be quickly replaced by the words of his father telling him to grow up.

He knew they were just nightmares, that they couldn't hurt him and that they weren't real. But the truth was that they had been once, and every night he watched his girlfriend burn, every night he would see the look of betrayal on her face. How could he not have warned her, he should have been able to save her.

It scared him to think of what Dean's reaction would be if he told him the truth, that he was some kinda psychic freak? He didn't even know how he felt, let alone deal with the possibility of loosing his older brother.

Sam knew that Dean was worried and he was working hard to show his brother that he was ok. He had finally been able to get control of his nightmares just as he had when he was younger – sure he couldn't stop them but at least now he had regained his ability to have control of the release from his subconscious.

Trying to eat was turning out to be a little more difficult. It wasn't that he didn't want to eat or that he wasn't hungry, it was just that everything that he ate tasted like sawdust and once he took a bite his stomach would begin to churn. He had begun to continue to eat even thought the taste on his pallet was pretty much unbearable but he hadn't got control of his stomach and within half an hour of eating he was paying homage to the porcelain God.

As he searched the internet for their next hunt he looked across at Dean who seemed to be sleeping peacefully on his bed, suddenly he felt envious of his brother, he was so tired, all he wanted was a few hours of uninterrupted slept but he knew he didn't deserve it, he had let Jessica die and if never having a peaceful sleep again was his punishment well then he would just have to deal with it.

He knew he had to be careful though, cause if Dean knew that he was still having nightmares and not keeping his food down then he had no doubt that his brother would take him out of the hunt and that was something that Sam could not afford to let happen.

SN

It came to Dean like an epiphany, and Sam had always told him that he did his best thinking when he was using the bathroom. He knew what he had to do to help his brother; he couldn't believe that he hadn't thought of it before. Sam needed help and needed to get away from the hunt for a while. Dean needed help, and when it came to his brother he would never be too proud to seek it when Sam's life was at stake.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw that his brother had fallen asleep at the table, laptop still open in front of him. Dean picked up his phone and silently slipped outside the motel room door, looking back to ensure that his brother was still asleep as he closed over the door.

Flipping down through his list of contacts he finally settled on the person he was looking for, knowing that although it was after midnight the call would be answered and sure enough on the second ring he heard a gruff voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hello"

"Hey Bobby, it's Dean, I need your help."