The Long Way Down Chapter 10, a supernatural fanfic

A/N – Again I'm advising that this chapter may contain graphic images and references to self-harm.

I would like to say a big THANK YOU to my Beta buttercupgalaxy.

They stayed like that for a while, before Dean felt Sam moving away from him. Sam sat back from his brother, wiping his face with his sleeve, and began to laugh. Dean looked at his brother, confused.

"What's so funny man?" Dean asked, wondering if maybe Sam was having some sort of psychotic meltdown or something.

"Dude, so much for your "no chick flick moments" I didn't think you did the sharing and caring thing." Sam said sarcastically. Looking at Dean, he realised that his brother wasn't laughing; he was looking him dead in the eyes as he began to speak.

"Sam, don't you ever think for a moment that if you need to talk to me, about anything, and I mean anything, that you can't come to me. I'll always be here for you Sammy, and yeah, I know I can be an ass sometimes so much so that you've feel that you can't come to me, but you can Sam." The sincere look in his brother's eyes had Sam feeling his breath being forced from his lungs.

"I'm sorry Dean, I just I….." Sam begun

"It's ok Sam. Really it is. I told you already, we are going to get through this, together. The first thing we are going to do is get some food into you and then you're going to lie down and get some rest while I take a look at your arms."

"Dean, I'm not hungry. Maybe I'll just get some rest." Sam said as he moved to get up from the bed but Dean put his hand out to stop him.

"No Sam, you are coming downstairs with me now, having some of whatever it is that Bobby is cooking and then you can lie down. I'm not taking no for an answer." Taking a deep breath as he saw Sam about to try and talk his way out of it, Dean continued and affectively cut him off.

"I know you're having trouble eating, all I'm asking for is that you have something small to eat and then you can lie down. Please Sam, just try."

Sam nodded his head and moved off the bed, heading downstairs leaving his brother to follow in his wake.

Bobby had almost finished cooking the soup he was preparing, knowing that Sam would need something nutritious but needed something that wouldn't be too heavy for the boys' stomach. He heard footsteps on the stairs as the boys came down the stairs, turning to them he noticed that Dean seemed a little less tense, while Sam still looked nervous, he seemed to be a little more relaxed than he had earlier.

"Well Bobby, whatcha got for us?" Dean asked as he went to the stove, picking up a spoon along the way and went to dip it into the soup.

"Get out of it." Booby said as he swiped at Dean before he had a chance to reach his goal.

"Ow, I only wanted to make sure that it was edible before we gave it to Sammy." Dean said, a smirk coming to his face. Moving to the press he grabbed a glass and proceeded to pour orange juice for his brother. Making sure that Sam wasn't looking, he slipped two sleeping tablets into the drink, ensuring that they had fully dissolved before passing to his brother.

He hated to have to drug his brother and didn't like the idea of Sam using sleeping tablets to sleep, but Dean knew that Sam needed to get some rest if he was going to get better and this was the best he could come up with.

The three of them sat in silence as Bobby and Dean continuously exchanged glances as Sam quietly drank his soup. Half way through the bowl, Sam began to yawn; by the time he was two thirds through he was nearly falling into it.

"Hey Sammy, I think it's time to get you to bed. Come on Sasquatch." Putting his hands on Sam's arms he lifted him out of the chair, and slowly manoeuvred his brother back up the stairs to the bedroom.

"I'm going to have a look at your arms ok Sammy, just going to clean and bandage them alright?" Watching as Sam slowly nodded his head, Dean was unsure that his brother was even aware of what was going on. Moving quickly, Dean grabbed the first aid kit, and sitting down on the bed beside his brother he began slowly lifting the sleeves of his brother's shirt, grimacing at the oozing cuts on both his brothers arms.

Taking out the disinfectant, he slowly began cleaning and bandaging the wounds on Sam's arms. After he was satisfied that he had cleaned the wounds and prevented the possibility of any infections setting in, he got off the bed, put away the first aid kit and pulled the blanket up around his brother. Putting the bottle of sleeping tablets back into the first aid kit, he moved back to his brother once more, pushing the hair out of Sam's face.

"Sleep well little brother, sweet dreams," With that Dean quietly left the room.

Going back down stairs to Bobby, Dean gladly accepted the beer that was being handed to him. Sitting down, taking a long mouthful, he turned to face Bobby, noticing that the older hunter looking at him curiously.

"What?"

"Do you think it was wise to give Sam, sleeping tablets? I take it by the way you sneaked them into the glass that your brother didn't realise that he was being drugged?"

"Don't say it like that Bobby, the kid needs his rest. He's not going to get better if he is suffering from sleep deprivation, it'll only make him more depressed. I'm not happy giving them to him, you know how Dad felt about them but in this case I think it's the lesser of two evils. I mean seriously Bobby, you didn't hear what he was saying up there, the stuff that is going on in his head would put any man in the ground and I'm not going to let that happen."

"It was that bad?" Bobby asked, a worried expression on his face.

"It was worse than I imagined, he's a mess. I always knew that Sam was different to me and Dad, more innocent and naïve, to be honest more emotional than us but I guess I forgot how hard I found it to deal with it."

"Well you and your brother are definitely chalk and cheese." Bobby said, a smile coming to his face.

Sam had been vaguely aware of his brother being in the room and the sting of the disinfectant on his arms as he felt the pull of sleep. It wasn't long though before he was back in the apartment that he shared with Jess, lying on that bed, staring at that ceiling and watching the women he loved burn alive in front of his very eyes.

Waking with a start, Sam got out of bed on unsteady legs. The guilt and desperation that now surrounded him since waking had his legs acting as if on autopilot, without realising it he was standing in the bathroom. Then he heard Dean's voice in his head, telling him that they would get through this together. He knew that what he was doing wasn't working; he wasn't feeling better so maybe it was time to open up and let Dean help him.

Heading downstairs to find his brother, he tried to mentally prepare himself to speak to his Dean, needing the reassurance of his big brother more than anything right now. As he approached the living room door, he heard Bobby and Dean talking. He was about to enter the room, when he felt himself beginning to sway, as he put his hand on the wall to steady himself, he felt his world fall apart as he heard their conversation.

"Well you and your brother are definitely chalk and cheese." Bobby said, a smile coming to his face.

Feeling that he couldn't breath, Sam turned on unsteady legs and headed back upstairs. Tears coming to his eyes, Sam told himself to stop it, this was what Dean was talking about when he said that he was emotional. He needed to remove the burden from his brother; he needed to pull himself together. He couldn't think straight and he felt so tired but with the nightmares haunting him he knew he wouldn't sleep. Deciding that there was only one thing for it he moved to the first aid kit, finding that box of sleeping tablets removed the lid and dry swallowed a couple of tablets. Forgetting to put the bottle back in the bag, he moved unsteadily back to the bed. Lying down he vowed to himself that he would prove Dean wrong. He would show him that he was able to take care of himself. Once he got proper nights sleep it would all seem better in the morning.

If only Dean had realised that his brother had been outside the door when he spoke. If only Sam had remained for a moment longer he would have heard Dean continue his conversation with Bobby.

"But I wouldn't change the kid for anything in the world. He wouldn't be my geeky little brother Sammy and I love him the way he is. Sure we're different but it would be fairly boring if we were both the same." Dean said, a smile coming to his face.

"I can't believe you can call him little and keep a straight face." Bobby said as they both began to laugh.

If only Sam knew that his brother had already given him sleeping tablets to try and ensure that he got the rest he needed. If only Dean realised that his geeky little brother was upstairs in his bed unbeknownst to everyone, including himself, having accidentally overdosed on sleeping tablets?

Tbc

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