A/N: I know it's been awhile, but I've been busy and I've been trying to finish some fics up. Well, here it is…finally. (sweatdrops) And I realized I was spelling his name wrong…(sweatdrops again) Well, at least I fixed it in this chappie…

Disclaimer: I do not own GX.

Chapter 4: Heart

Alexis sat outside Sartorius' office, feeling anxious. For the fifteenth time that day, she straightened her white skirt and tried to ignore the rising hurt inside her. As much as it frightened her to see him, she knew it must be done. She had no other choice.

After a moment or so, the door opened and a boy stepped out. Ignoring her, he walked down the hall, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Nibbling on her lip apprehensively, she took a deep breath and entered the study.

"Master?"

"Yes, what is it?" He looked up from his paperwork.

Taking another deep breath, she wrung her hands and said, "I need to speak with you, that is, if you have the time."

"Of course I do. I always have time for you, Alexis." Standing, he slanted the blinds just enough so that anyone who might be spying wouldn't be able to see the room's occupants. He then gestured for her to take a seat.

Gladly, she seated herself, and straightened her skirt again. "Master, I apologize for my behavior last night. I was upset…"

"As I can well imagine." He sighed, sitting behind his cherry desk and propping his chin in his hand, as though in pained thought. "And I apologize for treating you in such a manner. One should not behave towards a lady like that."

A slight pink graced the blonde's cheeks. "It's all right, Master, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago, actually, although it was difficult."

Sartorius nodded understandingly, his face creased in worry. "I know, my dear child. But I never mean to hurt you. It happens sometimes; one can always lose control, however, one cannot always gain it."

Alexis' brow furrowed in frustration. "But, shouldn't you, of all people, have mastered control? If you don't mind me asking."

"Not at all. After all, it is human nature--something we must all learn to overcome. It's never easy, as you well know. And you will never completely be able to handle it properly. However, you can learn to hold back some. Although, there are those moments…"

"Of course," She agreed, "But I just wanted you to know that I do not think ill of you for it. I cannot. You are my master…in more than one way." She gazed upon him tenderly.

He was unable to suppress a blush. "Alexis, you flatter me."

"It's not meant to be flattery." She told him, rising to her feet and tentatively stepping over to him, "I mean every word I say."

He looked directly into her eyes, entranced. She reached a trembling hand up to his face, and touched his cheek as though it were fragile. Just as gently, he placed his hand over hers, and rubbed it. Her eyes held him captive, making him feel more enchanted than anything he'd encountered. No, not even the Light could have a hold on him so powerful. He loved her more than his own being, his own existence.

"Alexis, I…"

"What?" She asked quizzically, seeming more innocent than before.

"I love you."

She stared up at him, unable to believe what he'd just said. "What?"

"I said, I love you." He took her hand in his and kissed it, causing her to blush.

"M-master…"

"Don't be afraid, my dearest Alexis, I love you with all my being."

Regaining her composure, she stared up into his eyes and murmured, "Whereas I doubted myself at first, now I can be certain of this truth; I love you too."
"Oh, Alexis…" Sartorius touched her cheek again, brushing her golden hair out of her eyes. "In that case, do you forgive me for all that I've done?"

"Of course," She whispered, leaning her face closer to his.

"Thank you," He whispered, tilting his head.

Automatically, his arms snaked around her waist. She, as well, embraced him as their lips met in their first shared kiss. They stood still in the middle of the room, softly kissing for some time. Before either had had their fill, there was an abrupt rap on the door.

"Master Sartorius," came Chazz's voice, "Might I be granted permission to enter?"

"You may." He replied, releasing Alexis.

Feeling suddenly weakened, she fell back onto a chair. She held her head, slightly dizzy. What could be making her feel this way? Was this what it felt like to be in love?

Chazz glanced at her, then bowed to Sartorius. "Master, I believe that Jaden is getting out of hand."

Sartorius scowled. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he won't stop rallying against us. He's constantly dueling our members and driving them from the cause. Just a moment ago, he dueled fourteen of our highest ranking members. All lost the duel…and their salvation."

Sartorius shook his head. "It's sad to think some people cannot understand the immense power of the Light. Those ignorant ones must be stopped. I shall be on it shortly, unless you believe you can handle it. Are you up for the challenge?"

Chazz nodded. "I always am, Master."

Sartorius smiled. "Excellent. In that case, I hope you would go ahead with the matter. You are dismissed."

Chazz bowed respectfully once more then walked out, brushing past Alexis as he exited.

Sartorius sat down and gazed out the window in silent contemplation. He drummed his fingers on the edge of his desk, his amethyst eyes perceiving nothing. Deep within his mind, a battle for his soul was occurring. His head began to throb as his alter ego returned.

"Why must you send him on a mission so futile?"

"Silence yourself." He chuckled softly at the prospect. "It is the only way in which I may gain control again. If he can be freed, perhaps he can show Jaden the danger…perhaps he can save me."

"Nothing can help you now. It is your destiny. Haven't you always trusted in the pulls of fate? Haven't you always built you life around it, made it part of your ideals?"

"I shall partake in this foolish expenditure no more."

"As you wish. You might say such a thing, but I can assure you that you'll soon regret having said those words. Defiance is not an option. You have no choice. It is I who have control of your body."

"I suppose that could be a problem." Sartorius muttered, then smiled, "But it seems as though I have control over my mind. And is it not believed by many that the mind overpowers the body? After all, the brain sends signals to the body in order to command it. Even if the body is weak, will can overpower that. And you shall soon find that I will gain the upper hand."

"Not if I do not give you the chance. Watch yourself; you cannot predict all."

He breathed a sigh of relief as it drifted into the shadows of his mind. Although it had excused itself from his presence, he still felt troubled. All was not well. He knew he could not overpower the Light. Feeling more troubled and despairing greatly, he sighed.

"He won't survive."

Alexis raised her head, startled. "What do you mean?"

"He won't survive that duel. I have foreseen it."

She bit her lip. "Then why'd you send him out there?"

"It is his destiny." He murmured sadly, straightening his papers, "And who are we to question the pulls of fate?" He felt all the more hopeless as he heard himself spewing out the lies the Light had fed him; that which had sustained him so long had become deadly.

Shifting uneasily, she asked, "What shall become of him?"

He failed to answer, only continued to stare down at the desktop. "Sometimes," He muttered, rather detached, "Destiny works in strange ways. It can take a turn for the better. It can take a turn for the worse. It can misguide us and lead us off the path. However, even if one knows his destiny he can do nothing to stop it."

Alexis furrowed her brow. "Master, you're not making much sense."

"You know what you must do to her. How many times have a told you? How many times will it take for you to learn that I have control--I am you, Sartorius, this is what you've become!"

Sartorius massaged his temples, frowning deeply. "Peace!" He shouted, "Leave me be…"

Alexis quickly got to her feet. "I'm sorry, Master, I'll leave."

Before he could protest, she stepped out and shut the door. He sighed heavily. "Must all my thoughts be so bitter and full of darkness? Oh, but if only I had a bit of righteousness within; what a man should that make me! How is it, then, that walking in the Light makes one so cold and isolated? What paradox has been created by my existence? Why should I, one of the elite in the favor of the Light, be kept perpetually in darkness? Oh, if only I had the ability to answer my own questions. Alas, that would make me a man."

---------------------------------------

Alexis sat on a rock by the beach, watching the waves lap up on the shore. Sighing, she brushed her golden hair out of her face and hugged herself for warmth. Why must she feel this way? Why must she so desperately yearn for he who had ruined her? After all, she was in an insubordinate position, and yes, it was right for him to abuse his authority. But why must it be him? He wasn't exactly the most attractive man either, especially not unclothed. However, something deep inside him captivated her and preserved her hope. She certainly wished they could be together. Sighing again, she looked up at the stars in the night sky.

"Why have you led me down such a treacherous path?" She whispered, her voice trembling. "Why must I be so miserable? Why do I have to live without the one I care for the most? After all, he cares not for me. Why should he, anyway? There is no reason that I should be of any importance other than to the Society. But there, that's another question. What is the purpose of the Society? What good will we do the world if we're simply floating around, upholding a false gospel, so to speak? We don't really take action. It's all emptiness! That being said, what is my true purpose?"

"You've got a point, there, Lex," Came a voice.

Startled, she jumped, then turned to see Chazz.

He said nothing for a moment, only seated himself comfortably beside her on the rock.

"You've been pondering the meaning of this life too?" She asked.

"Of course." His charcoal eyes glistened in the moonlight. "There's too many questions the Society leaves unanswered. I honestly don't know what we're trying to accomplish. Yeah, I know he tells us that we must 'save the world' or 'spread the Light' or something like that, but is it really anything more than a political game he's playing? By using a sort of religion as an excuse, he's manipulating us to do his dirty work for him. It's a psychological trick, really."

She bristled. "And how do you suppose this is true?"

He glanced over at her cynical expression. "I'm not saying it is true. I'm simply speculating. I don't know really what's going on, but I do know it's more than we're being told."

"There's a lot that you don't know." She whispered, looking down at the sand.

His gaze fell on her once more, only this time he did not look away. "What did he do to you?"

She was silent.

"What did he do?" Chazz grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. His expression was angry and concerned, his shoulders hunched in indignation.

She wasn't sure how to answer. Everything that had happened had been so confusing. What was she expected to say?

"I swear, if he hurt you…I'll kill him!" Chazz snapped.

"Why? He's our master!" Alexis gasped.

"Alexis, it doesn't matter. If anyone dares to hurt you, I will avenge you to assure it never happens again." He told her, scowling, "You're my top priority, not the Society. But don't let anyone know that. I'd put you above the Society, even my very life, any day!"

She averted her eyes from his. "You'd even keep it from Master Sartorius?" She asked bitterly.

"He's not in charge of everything! What, do you want to be under a dictatorship? Trust me, I know all about that. Look, I'm rich. I've been there before, my brothers are still there…don't think I don't know about the power hungry."

"So, what does that mean," She asked, her voice faltering, feeling divided between loyalty and confusion, "that you're going to leave the Society?"

He hesitated a moment before responding. "No."

"Then why condemn it so?"

"I…don't know. Maybe the same reason you do."

Feeling suddenly outraged, she grasped his shoulders in a vice like grip, speaking through her teeth. "You know nothing about my life or my reasons."

He remained silent, stunned by her reaction.

"You don't know anything. You don't know what I've been through. Nor will you ever I suppose."
"Well, if you'll just tell me, maybe I can help you."

She took several deep breaths then leaned her forehead against his chest, still grasping his shoulders. "I'm not ready." She hesitated a moment, then continued. "I'll tell you when I am, Ok?"

"Ok…" He agreed, uncertain of this. "If you need to call me…"

"I won't need to call you." She said coldly as he rose. "I can take care of myself."

He only responded by muttering a curt good bye. She turned back towards the ocean, breathing hard. Then, biting her lip, she allowed the silver drops to fall. She had held it in so long.

-------------------------------------------

When Alexis returned to her dorm, she found a note attached to the door. Curiously, she pulled it off and opened it. A silver, heart shaped pendant fell out. Blushing, she picked it up and read the note.

"Dearest Alexis,

My sincerest apologies for all that has occurred over the last couple of days. I never meant for you to get hurt, neither did I want you to leave earlier. All I wanted to do was tell you I was sorry. Please understand that I've had a lot of pressure on me. All I want to do is tell you, I love you, Alexis.

Love,

Sartorius."

Alexis folded the note up and put it in her jacket. Then, she slipped the delicate pendant around her neck. As she stepped into her darkened room, she whispered to herself, "And I love you too, Master, no matter how wrong you are."

She shut the door, deciding that despite his philosophies being false, she would stay with him the entire way. Nothing in the world could tear her from his side, or the Society's. She was at his disposal.

A/N: Finally finished with the chappie! YES! It took me an entire WEEK!!! AND IT'S STILL CRAP! XD Well, I'll try to update as much as possible. Until next time.