AN: This is the first TRYAN 'sex' scene. Little eyes probably won't catch it, but it's vital to the storyline. I actually depressed myself while writing this, but I don't think it's necessarily angst. If you have a problem with bodily fluids, you have been warned. They are mentioned plentifully in this chapter.

Senior Year – Chapter Five: Try-outs

We walk into the gym together and look about ourselves. There appear to be about 15 other guys to fill 28 roster spots. I don't think I'll have an upset Ryan on my hands. He might make second-string but at least he'll make the team. We head into the locker room and get changed within the allotted time. I didn't figure that we were quick, but we only took five minutes. I just can't wait to grapple with my Platinum Prince.

I gaze towards the door and 11 more guys, including my dad, file in. "Okay, guys! We have 28 trying out and 28 positions. Come weigh in and we'll start." That's Dad for you. All business, all the time.

Ryan was really upset. He weighed in at 144 pounds. I wouldn't have guessed he had it in him, but those hidden muscles would throw off someone's guess, huh?

"There's already two guys signed up for the 140-145 class. I have to beat both of them to get the spot." He seems really discouraged and it breaks my heart. I weigh in and ask my dad if they can re-weigh Ry. He agrees because I see that I'm the only one in my weight class (145-152). I run and get Ry a candy bar and he weighs at 145. I get to grapple the hunk and his eyes brighten upon hearing the bittersweet news.

Try-outs have been seemingly uneventful but for Ryan and me, it's anything but. I pin him to the mat and he squirms. That's when I feel it. Ry's got a hard-on!! My mind is screaming at me. His eyes go wide and he knows that I know. He throws me off of him and runs into the locker room. I instinctually run after him.

I find him cowering in the showers in the fetal position. "Ry, it's not that bad." I really have no idea what I'm doing here. I don't know what to say or what to do.

He looks at my face. His eyes are red from crying and his flushed cheeks are wet from what I can only guess are tears. "Not that bad? I've kept to myself whenever we're near each other. But you still found out."

I sit next to him and grab his hand. He's trembling. I want to just pull him into my arms and tell him everything, but I still can't. God damn it Troy!! Stop being such a fucking coward! "Ry, it's natural. We have so many nerves down there and coupling that with being a hormone-filled teenage boy, it's bound to happen."

He hangs his head and starts crying again. "No, Troy. It happened because it was you. For the first time since I've realized I was gay, you were touching me forcefully and we were working a goal. My mind tried telling me that you were falling for me and it would only be a matter of time until we had what Eddie and Chris share."

I stare back dumbfounded. Words escape me and I'm paralytic. There's so much I want to say, to do even. But I can't. I wish I could bitch-slap myself and face up to the love of my life, but I can't. He just continues to cry and I let him. I never leave, but when he takes his hand back, I let him.

We hear the rest of the team coming into the room and he stands hurriedly. He dashes into the closet where the equipment is kept and I casually follow. "Seriously Bolton. Leave me be."

I pull him into a hug. He struggles but I subdue him. "I can't fathom what's happened today. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm your friend and I want to help you come to terms. Please, let me comfort you. I loosen my hold and I feel him move again. I figure he's trying to get away and I decide that I'll let him this time. He frees his arms and forcedly wraps them around my waist. He holds on for dear life and I resume my hold on him.

I feel my singlet soak with his tears and tell him that I need to adjust my stance because my knee's locking up. He backs away and I sit on the concrete. He promptly sits next to me and reaches for my embrace again. I hold him until the lights in the locker room are turned off. I grunt lightly and he shushes me. "Please, just one more moment. I can't deal with all of this yet. I just need my friend to keep me from reality for just one more minute."

I pull him onto my lap whispering, "You take as long as you want. There's no rush, but my shift's over. I would like you to meet Raul. He'll take care of you from here on out."

I scramble off the floor and grab the sombrero my dad always wears for Crazy Hat Day. I return and Ryan's sobbing again. In an awful broken-English Spanglish accent I get his attention. "Hola my friend! I am Raul. I'm here to making the pain say 'bye'." He looked at me and let out a sorrowful chortle. I quickly sit back down and it's almost as if I've never left. "Ryan, I don't want to rush you, but my dad's locking up his office. If you want a ride, we need to vamoose."

He lets go and I stand upright. I offer my hand and he accepts it. "Donc, allons-y!" He runs out of the closet and my knees go weak once more. Why does it have to be French?

Once I get dressed, Ry's waiting for me in the gym. "We missed him. Looks like we're walking." He doesn't look to enthused at the prospect of further exercise, or is it the choice in company that makes his face sour?

We walk briskly, considering it probably only 50 degrees (Fahrenheit) out. We move in an awkward silence, but he doesn't object when I reach for his hand. We pass my street and he turns to me sternly when I don't part from him. "I can get there by myself Bolton! I don't need and babysitter just because I cried. Go home!"

I'm almost too scared of this Ryan to cry. Almost is the operative word. "But Ry –" I start, but he marches off in a huff. The worst part was he doesn't even glance back at me. That's the moment I feel my heart break. It hurts so much that I vomit onto the sidewalk, in front of some children playing. They all start to cry and run into their house. It looks like a good idea, so I do the same.

HSM – SY TRYAN HSM – SY

"Where the hell did you go?" My dad exclaims as soon as the door's shut. "You scared me half to death when I couldn't find you and you didn't answer your phone!" I just give him a cross look and run upstairs. I slam the door to my room. I didn't mean to, but it happened nonetheless. For the first time in my life, I cry myself to sleep.

AN (2): If you don't speak French, Ryan's line, "Donc, allons-y" translates roughly into "Well, let's go then." I think I'm going to post chapters with the French within the dialogue and translated at the bottom much like this. REVIEW!!