Chapter Twelve: An Overindulgence of Onomatopoeia

"I'm quite pleased with the poems this class has turned in—they were all good—but I was especially pleased with the poem written by . . ."

Several of the Hufflepuff girls blushed and crossed their fingers.

"Miss Blaise Zabini!"

Blaise's jaw dropped and Harry and Theo snickered.

"I told you I'd laugh if your poem won," Harry whispered behind his hand.

"Shut—up," Blaise said through a clenched jaw.

Theo breathed in deeply and held it, turning slightly blue as he tried to keep from interrupting Lockhart's egotistical speech. Harry hit him hard on the back and Theo snorted as his control broke somewhat.

Harry fluttered his eyelashes innocently when Theo glared at him.

Blaise rolled her eyes. "Boys, honestly."

"You know you love us," Harry grinned with a wink.

"Only a bit," she murmured as her cheeks tinted pink. She sunk down in her chair in embarrassment.

Thankfully the bell soon rang and the Slytherins filed out of the classroom quickly on their way to Transfiguration. The Hufflepuffs trailed slightly behind as they dreaded their following Potions class.

"Zabini!" Malfoy called from where he was walking behind them with Things One and Two. "What did you write about in your poem, huh? About how gallant a hero that poncy queer is?"

Harry, Blaise, and Theo spun around, Blaise's curls hitting Harry's face in the process. She ignored him as he rubbed his stung cheek. "For your information, no, I didn't. In fact, I wrote about how stupid and poncy he is. However, I have my suspicions about your poem."

Blaise turned around and continued walking as Malfoy's eyes widened at the supposed innuendo.

He glared and stomped past them, clenching his fists together angrily as he yelled to Crap and Glop. Apparently they were falling behind.

Harry grinned cheekily at Blaise and high-fived her as they walked past the Great Hall. On their way they passed a great crowd surrounding the notice board—

Wait, hold up. Great crowd surrounding the notice board? The trio quickly backtracked and tried to see what they were all staring at.

Blaise glared up at Theo, who had an advantage point from between the heads of two Gryffindors. "Read it to us short folk," she commanded.

Theo raised his eyebrow, but he complied anyway. "It says that there's to be a Dueling Club; first meeting is tonight at eight. It's open to everyone. Think we should go?"

"Dueling could come in handy. . . ." Harry admitted.

"Well, then—problem solved. We'll go! Plus, it sounds fun."

Harry and Theo sighed as Blaise dragged them along to Transfiguration.

Halfway there she realized it was Transfiguration she was skipping and whistling to.

oOoOo

It was when they arrived outside the classroom that the trio realized that McGonagall wouldn't be doing any teaching in her frozen state. But it seemed the classes hadn't been cancelled, as the door was open and a few students were already filing in. What had become their customary box of mice was sitting on the teacher's desk. They hesitantly entered the classroom.

"Ah," a pleasant voice exclaimed as they entered. "Is this everyone?"

The headmaster, it seemed, would now be teaching them Transfiguration.

"I believe so. . . ." Dumbledore hummed with a smile as he popped a lemon drop in his mouth. Noticing the students' stares, he asked politely, "Oh, does anyone else want one?"

The second year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws shook their heads as one and Dumbledore looked slightly disappointed.

"Ah, well, to Transfiguration! Now, today we will be working on turning buttons into centipedes, so if you will take out your previous notes, we will first be . . ."

oOoOo

"Oh, this is so cool," Blaise gushed as she, Harry, and Theo entered the Great Hall at eight o'clock that evening. All the House tables had been pushed aside and in its place was a centered dueling platform. Students of all ages milled around it, desperate for a good view. The chatter was deafening.

"Did the whole school come?" asked Harry as they slowly pushed their way to the front, sneering at anyone in their path.

"Probably."

Blaise huffed in exhaustion and leaned on Harry as she tried to catch her breath.

"I didn't know Potter was an automated head-prop. . . ." Theo smirked.

Blaise righted herself instantly and glared at Theo. "Bastard."

"That really wounds me, Blaise. I'm hurt." Theo placed his hand above his heart dramatically and feigned a sigh.

"Oh, I've got many more insults up my sleeve, you centaurian man-hag!"

"What . . . the hell . . . ?"

Harry sighed and had just planned on ignoring the argument (insult-fest) when the volume of the Great Hall's noise greatened tenfold, bringing his attention to the dueling platform.

"Oh, no!" he moaned.

Theo and Blaise soon forgot their argument when they noticed what he was staring at.

Gilderoy Lockhart.

And to think that Blaise had been looking forward to this. . . .

They all gasped and Blaise whimpered when they saw the next person to get on the platform.

Severus Snape.

"We'll never make it out of here alive," Theo whispered in shocked terror.

Harry and Blaise gulped.

Lockhart waved an egotistical wand in a call for silence and called, "Gather 'round, gather 'round! Can everyone hear me? Can you all see me? Excellent!"

"I wish I couldn't hear the git. . . ." Blaise murmured, causing Harry to snort.

"Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all in case you ever need to defend yourselves, as I myself have done on countless occasions—for full details see my published works."

"Sure, I'll do that as soon as I've died and gone to hell," sneered a smirking Blaise.

Harry clutched his stomach as he tried not to make any noise while laughing insanely.

"Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape! He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you young ones to worry—you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"

"I don't know who I would rather have live," Theo said thoughtfully.

"It would be great if they finished each other off. . . ." Blaise said wishfully.

Snape's upper lip was curling treacherously. Harry wondered why Lockhart was still smiling, but then again, the "Defense" teacher was a bit thick.

Lockhart and Snape turned to face each other and bowed; well, Lockhart did, at least, with much twirling of his hands—Snape just jerked his head with an evil gleam in his eyes. They then raised their wands like swords in front of them.

"As you see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position," Lockhart told the hushed crowd. "On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course."

Snape bared his teeth in a silent growl.

"I wouldn't bet on that," Harry muttered, who had long since calmed down. He turned to Blaise. "I'd wager that Snape has Lockhart down in less than a minute."

"I bet in the first five seconds. How much?"

"Five Galleons."

"You're on."

Theo shook his head at his . . . friends' . . . antics.

"One—two—three—"

Both of them swung their wands above their heads and pointed them at their opponent; Snape cried: "Expelliarmus!" There was a dazzling flash of scarlet light and Lockhart was blasted off his feet: He flew backward and smashed into a wall with a sickening THUMP.

"I win," Blaise grinned, holding out her hand for her rightful fortune of five Galleons. "Pay up."

"Not really, since I bet it would be in less than a minute. I call a draw, and since I have all the money anyway, I'll give you two Galleons and eight Sickles, 'kay?"

Blaise added it up for a second before nodding. "Okay, cough up!"

Harry coughed and wheezed jokingly.

"You know what I mean!"

Harry chuckled before handing her the money.

Malfoy and most of the other Slytherins were cheering, and even Theo was grinning. Blaise turned to Harry with a weird gleam in her eyes. "What do you want to bet Lockhart has to go to the hospital wing to get his back fixed?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm not betting you again! It's my money, and you'll know I'll give you anything you ask for anyway."

Blaise pouted and Theo doubled over in laughter.

"Anything, Potter?"

"Shut up!" said Harry as he turned tomato red.

Lockhart was now getting unsteadily to his feet. His hat had fallen off and his wavy hair was standing on end.

"Aw . . . now poor, wee wittle Wockhart will have to go fix his hair," Blaise mocked.

"Well, there you have it!" the ponce said, tottering back onto the platform. "That was a Disarming Charm—as you see, I've lost my wand—ah, thank you, Miss Patil—yes, an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind me saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy—however, I felt it would be instructive to let them see. . . ."

Snape very obviously minded Lockhart saying so. He looked quite murderous. Maybe Lockhart even noticed this, as he said, "Enough demonstrating! I'm going to come amongst you now and put you all into pairs. Professor Snape, if you'd like to help me—"

Snape swooped down to his Slytherins and swiftly started pairing them up. His smirk grew feral as he rounded on Harry and Blaise.

"I think it's time to split up the Slytherin Sweethearts," he sneered.

Blaise put on a thoughtful expression and then nodded. "I like that name!"

Both Snape and Harry stared at her as if she was mental.

"Potter, get with Malfoy. Zabini—Parkinson. And you, Nott . . . get with Boot."

Blaise groaned as Parkinson sauntered over, her pug face scrunched up in disgust. Harry sighed and went over to where Malfoy was.

"Take out your wands and bow!"

Harry and Malfoy barely inclined their heads.

"On the count of three! One—two—"

"Stupefy!" Malfoy yelled, not waiting until the count of three.

Harry quickly dodged the Stunning Spell and retaliated with a sharp Rictusempra.

Malfoy sunk to the floor giggling insanely but soon looked up, glared, and sprouted out between giggles, "Tarantellegra!"

"I said disarm only!" Lockhart yelled over the ruckus at about the time Harry's legs started a ferocious tap dance.

Snape waved his wand and Malfoy stopped giggling; Harry's feet stopped tapping. He took a minute to assess the damage around the room.

Theo, who had been working with Terry Boot, had spelled the Ravenclaw's hair neon pink (at this Harry chuckled) and had suffered not a scratch himself.

However . . .

"How dare you flirt with my Drakie, you bitch!" Parkinson shrieked, cracking the windows slightly.

"Why would I flirt with that bleach-haired bastard when I have a boyfriend?" snarled Blaise. "I don't even hang out with that ferret-faced son of a boot-licker!"

Parkinson screeched and jumped at Blaise, intent on clawing her eyes out.

"That's quite enough!"

Everyone abruptly stopped whatever dilemma they were in. Hermione whimpered and touched her neck gingerly where Millicent Bulstrode had had her in a head-lock.

"Perhaps we should start with a student demonstration. Uh . . . Granger and Bulstrode, come here!"

"I think not, Lockhart," Snape said quietly. "By the end of the . . . duel . . . we would be sending Miss Granger's remains to the morgue. How about Potter and Malfoy?"

Lockhart shifted nervously on his feet before nodding. "Yes, yes—that will do."

Malfoy smirked and Harry glared as they stepped up to the raised platform. Snape pulled Malfoy to him and started whispering in the boy's ear, causing Malfoy's smirk to widen.

"You know what you're doing, Harry?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Harry spat sarcastically.

"Yesss, ssurely Harry Potter will know what he'sss doing," Sneak hissed from Harry's sleeve, making the human jump. He hadn't known Sneak was with him. "You do know what you're doing, right, Harry?"

"I thought you went back into hiding?" Harry hissed as Snape and Lockhart backed away, trying to keep from moving his mouth.

"It isss hiding if you don't know I'm here."

"Okay, bow!" commanded Lockhart. Harry and Malfoy, again, barely inclined their heads. They then turned and walked the required number of paces away. The Slytherins turned again and positioned their wands.

"On three! One—two—three—"

Yet again, Malfoy didn't wait for the count of three. He swished his wand in an intricate pattern and cried, "Serpensortia!"

Instead of a jet of light, a huge serpent with opal black scales shot out of Malfoy's wand, hissing and bearing its fangs threateningly. And then, before Harry could stop him, Sneak shot out of his hiding place in Harry's pocket to issue his own threatening hiss to the serpent at least sixty times his size.

"Back off from my Harry, you overssized flobberworm!"

"Why should I, you filthy garden ssnake?"

"Because I am Sneak, the great ssnake-god!"

The serpent imitated a human look that could only be described as raising an eyebrow . . . if snakes had eyebrows. . . .

"You don't look like the mighty Ugobungi to me," the serpent spat condescendingly.

"That isss because I am in dissguisse; hiding, if you will, from my mate-goddessss, Makalamari." It was only a little white lie. . . .

The whole school was staring in shock at the two conversing snakes, each of them wondering about something different. Harry Potter had a snake? Were snakes even allowed at Hogwarts? Why was Malfoy doing such a dangerous spell anyway?

Snape was wondering something else entirely. Why the hell was Potter doubled over in laughter at that spell? Was it because his snake (by the looks of it) was about to get eaten alive by Malfoy's creation? For some reason, the hook-nosed man didn't think so. However. . . .

At first Harry had been in shock. The fact that Sneak (who was at least—if not more than—sixty times smaller than that serpent) was back-talking and spouting lies was nothing short of phenomenal. And . . . who were Ugobungi and Makalamari?

So, forgetting there was a huge crowd of students who would probably hear his hissing and make him an outcast (more than he already was, of course), he asked.

If snakes had eyelids, the two serpents would have blinked stupidly before answering his question.

"They are the great ssnake-gods!" the two fighting snakes answered him . . . at the same time. Sneak and the serpent turned to bare their fangs at the other. The mystery serpent's fangs were considerably larger and scarier-looking.

It was at this point that Harry realized the whole school was gaping at him, Snape and Lockhart included. Snape slowly took out his wand and vanished the mystery serpent, and Lockhart chuckled nervously.

"Um . . . hi?" Harry said with a wave, grinning hesitantly at his school-mates.

"Potter," spat Snape, holding Sneak up. "Is this your snake?"

"Of coursse I am Harry'sss ssnake, imbecile!"

Harry let out a nervous laugh. "Er . . . yeah?"

"Are you not going to claim me, filthy human?"

"Of course I'll claim you, Sneak! You're my best snake-friend!" Harry hissed at Sneak's injured tone.

Snape's eyes widened, and he began looking at Harry as if he were seeing him for the first time. His onyx eyes then narrowed, seeing the reactions of the crowd. Everyone was whispering:

Harry's eyes widened. 'Oops.'

"Did you hear what he said?"

"He was speaking Parseltongue!"

"I always knew that Potter boy was a Dark wizard. . . ."

"I think it's kinda cool—"

"Mr. Potter, I think you and your friends should be heading to the common room," said Snape quietly, handing Sneak to the shocked and pale Slytherin.

"Thanks."

Harry went over to where Blaise and Theo were standing, and they left the hall as a united group. No one said a word until they had got to the empty boys' dormitories.

"You speak Parsel?" Theo asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I knew I could speak to snakes, because of Sneak, but I only found out it had a name when Hermione brought it up over lunch one day," Harry explained. Seeing Theo's clueless look, he added, "You were in the library working on that Herbology essay then."

Theo's mouth formed an 'O' of realization.

"I only found out last year when Snape brought us here. Sneak was threatening Mrs. Norris for taking his lunch and I heard Harry whispering to him," Blaise said in Harry's defense.

"Are you okay with it?" questioned Harry.

"Of course I'm okay with it! It makes sense; you're in Slytherin! You might even be related to Salazar Slytherin himself! Plus, it's pretty cool having a friend that can speak to our own personal mascot."

Harry breathed out a sigh of relief. He had been wondering how Theo would take this strange but cool ability of his.

"So Sneak is our mascot?" Blaise said.

"Of course! None of the other Slytherins have snakes that I know of."

Blaise grinned and ran her hand over Sneak's scales, making him release a hiss that could only be described as a purr. "You like that, huh? Sneak the Slytherin Snake."

"I ssure do."

Harry laughed at Sneak's reaction and Blaise and Theo's confused looks. "Don't worry 'bout it. I'm going to bed before Malfoy can come in here and disrupt the air with his hair gel fumes and Chanel #666."

oOoOo

Sneak hadn't planned on that . . . episode . . . with that conjured snake at the dueling club. In fact, he had just been set to watch his human kick that blonde ferret's arse when he thought he saw the snake threaten Harry. That had made him react.

Sneak wasn't kidding when he said he was going into hiding. That snake-chicken hybrid chick really creeped him out, with her freezing thing and how she could just look at you and kill you.

That really scared him.

To think that that thing was going out and Petrifying people just because she could. . . . The possibilities and prospects for the future weren't that high with her around.

And then he had to go reveal himself when that serpent had attacked his human! Even with the snake-chicken hybrid . . . chick.

Did he have any sense of self-preservation left?

The answer: No. . . .

What if the snake-chicken started attacking friends of Harry's or (God forbid) Harry and Blaise?

Sneak was doomed.

oOoOo

Mandy sighed as she turned down yet another corridor. After the 'face off of the serpents,' as she had jokingly dubbed it, Mandy had wanted to speak to Harry. But Blaise and Theo had dragged him off to the Slytherin common room, and Mandy hadn't the slightly clue where that was, except that it was located in the dungeons.

She released another sigh as she turned again, and then eeped when she felt something ice-cold surround her for a moment. As the chill wore off she heard a slight chuckle and she jumped.

"Don't fret, child."

Mandy looked up, straight into the not-so-colorful eyes of the Grey Lady, her House ghost.

"Sorry, Lady. I wasn't watching—"

"I know, but what are you doing wandering the halls at night? With all that's been going on, you should be safe in your dormitory."

"Yes, but I couldn't sleep. I'm worried."

"Oh?"

"It's a friend of mine, in Slytherin."

"It wouldn't happen to be the co-leader of the New Marauders, would it?" The Lady raised her transparent eyebrows.

Mandy blushed. "How did you know?"

"The Baron won't stop talking about them," the Lady said with a slight smile.

"Oh," Mandy muttered. And then a thought came to her. "The New Marauders?"

"It's what all the ghosts have been calling them." The Lady smiled. "And I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise."

Mandy mock-glared and chuckled slightly. "Okay, I won't ask."

All of a sudden the Grey Lady went rigid and turned her head slightly; apparently she heard something that Mandy's own sensitive human ears couldn't pick up.

"Get out of here," the Lady commanded.

"What? Why?"

"There's something terrible lurking. It doesn't have a choice in the matter, but the consequences for us will not be good."

"What?!"

Before she could leave, Mandy heard something she could hear, and upon instinct, they both turned around to the noise.

It was one of those moments in time where you don't know how to react, and the sight they saw induced this. One moment the wall was dark grey, slightly pebbled stone, and the next, they could see right through it; they saw straight into the wall, into the pipes, and if they had managed to look beyond, they would have seen every other corridor and what everyone was doing in each House dormitory or common room.

But they never got that far, for their eyes (the transparent Lady's and Mandy's own sea-green ones, shielded by the Lady as they were) locked upon a pair of big, great, yellow eyes, and the last looks on their faces before they froze were ones of pure shock and horror.

oOoOo

Authoress's Note: Okay, some of you may be wondering why I'm not keeping the basilisk that much of a mystery. The answer: because it's not. Everyone reading this story has read the Harry Potter books and they all know there's a basilisk down in a chamber that Harry has to get rid of. It's not mysterious, so there's no reason to be. But I do have something else planned... :D

As a "gift" to my 100th reviewer (or just any reviewer, if you're not sure), leave a realistic first and last name (nothing like Luna or Hermione or anything else from HP) and I'll give you a mention in the next chapter. Examples: Lila White, Chris Taylor. Just pick something normal, and I'll mention you as a student.

Even if you're not my 100th reviewer, I'll mention the name you give anyway, either in chapter thirteen or fourteen!