It's a hectic year, and wow, how the days passed! Many apologies to those waiting for the update! Here it is, finally!

Now, above anything else are the comments!

silverybluejade: thanks for reading this fic! Yup yup, me like Yashiro a lot, even in the manga/ anime! He's really funny with his inner thoughts and inspired me to do the same for the fic. Yeah, he's gonna be straight… though it feels a little pity, but well, you'll never know if there's ever a sharp turn on the story! –evil author-

hennahito-ckbc: hahahahaha yeah, don't worry, there's more to come and expect. I like this fic too and its my first BL fic so there's no way im stopping halfway! Weeeeeeee

Kuro-Himitsu: Yosh, then I really have to ganbatte! More more more… hm… more… -cries- what more?

darsh: OMG we're the same! It's been so long since I last updated I totally forgot where I last stopped and what happened in front hahahaha so I had to re-read the chapters! Aaaah only in vol 3? But I bet not you should be way behind ne? Yashiro is a great character (to bully)! –grins evilly-

:) (anonymous): hm, confessing huh? I always cannot imagine Hikaru confessing to someone, and same goes for Akira. I wonder why… but the confession, will there be one? Find out!

X Inori x: -laughs evilly- yesh, me very very evil! Ooooh im very grateful if you guys pay less attention to some of the broken grammars haha…

ChrisGirl: Hehe hope you'll enjoy this new chapter! The next chapter… hopefully I will remember to update at the end of next month… im a forgetful person, seriously sigh…

queerboywithapen: Domo arigatou! Hope you'll continue following this fic… and no worries, I'll definitely put an end to it, though I wonder when… lol

girl13: hie, thanks for your reminder! I seriously had no time for anything else but cleaning my room for the past few days. Throughout my semester, books were everywhere and all my papers and notes from past year jumbled up together. It was a real pain sorting them out… Anyway, you reminded me that it's been a looooong time since I last updated! Thanks again!

CHAPTER 17

"I like Touya."

"I see… hm… huh? Wait, WHAT! You said—you mean—you were saying that—he is that—"

"Yeah, Touya Akira."

"Bu—but but but—"

"Yes, he's a guy."

"But… but—but—but—"

"No, I am not gay."

"Then—but—"

"I only like him."

SILENCE

"Seriously, why are you so shocked when you heard I like Touya and not even a teeny weeny surprised that Waya confessed to me?"

"Because it's different!" Yashiro finally found his voice.

"How different? What's the difference?"

"Well… Waya does look like the type that needed protection from someone… you know, a little like girls and all. It isn't hard to imagine you and Waya together coz the two of you are close and it's just natural. But you and Touya are different… I mean, I'd always thought you were straight so when—"

"I am straight."

"—I knew that Waya confessed to you, I have no doubt that you will reject him. But well, now you're saying you like Touya and all that… I am just too… shocked to say anything."

"I know… but I'd liked him for a long time now. It's just that I thought perhaps this trip is a good idea to get to know him better and that we could be good friends… or perhaps closer than that…"

"I seriously can't imagine both of you together, especially when you two have totally opposite personalities."

"It's not a big deal. Ever heard of 'opposite attracts'?"

"Well worse of all is that imagine Waya found out about this… it would certainly break his heart and crush his hope."

"Which is why you MUST keep it a secret… and you'll have to keep it from Akira as well."

"What? You don't plan on confessing?"

"Come on, I don't know what he thinks of me so confessing is out of question. What if he were disgusted with a guy liking another guy? He'd avoid me for sure and when that happens, we can't even be friends!"

"But you can't keep it forever… what if he shares the same thought and feelings?" Yashiro asked.

"That's not possible…"

"You're giving up before even trying."

That really hit Hikaru hard. He despises himself for being a coward but is there any other way apart from this?

That ends the discussion and Hikaru who had been thinking hard about Yashiro's words, decided to find out Akira's feelings for him when he have the chance.

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The two boys return to their room after the discussion. Hikaru saw Ochi and Honda in his room with Akira, having a match again. Honda's eyes greet Hikaru with a wicked I-know-what-happened grin. Hikaru dismissed that grin and take it as his eyes playing tricks on him. Why would Honda do something weird like that?

"Shindo, a match with me." Honda placed his travel-pack Go on the floor, few feet away from Ochi and Akira.

"Sure." Hikaru empty his pocket and sat cross legged opposite Honda.

"Shindo, this is really unbelievable… and you kept it from us…" Honda whispered.

"What?"

"Your relationship with Yashiro!" Honda hissed.

Hikaru stared at Honda point blank. What in the world does that mean?

"Come on, just be frank! Aren't we friends?"

"There's nothing between me and Yashiro." Hikaru answered him directly. He meant what he said.

"Don't worry, I can keep secrets! You can tell me about it…" Honda grinned wickedly again.

Ah… so that grin just now wasn't an eye trick.

"Honda, if you don't concentrate on this game I'll end it in three minutes."

"Argh! No you won't! Don't you be arrogant!" Honda yelled loudly, making the other team turn their heads from their game to see what happened.

"Hey, be a little more quiet, would you?" Ochi said with a snort.

"Yeah, sorry." Hikaru said apologetically.

The matches ended after about forty five minutes. Both Ochi and Honda finally decide it's time to go back to their room for other stuffs.

"Thanks for coming over." Hikaru said, although he's not sure whether he really meant it.

"No problem. See you at dinner tonight. Don't forget, 7pm." Honda reminded him.

"Yea, yea…" Hikaru nodded and slammed the door.

"Fuh…" it certainly is tiring.

Akira who had been observing Hikaru since this morning found him acting peculiar today.

"Is there anything wrong?"

"Huh? No… not really."

It's not such a good idea to discuss this with Akira.

"Well, if you have any problem you can always tell me about it… I'm ready to listen and help you if I can."

"Don't worry, it's not such a big problem… anyway, I will have to settle it myself." Hikaru smiled warmly. He's glad that Akira is offering to him and giving him encouragement when he needed it.

Akira smiles back. It feels great when Hikaru is looking at him… only him. Somewhere beneath his soft and calm expression, Akira is undeniably possessive. He feels jealousy and hatred swarming up his body when someone acts over-friendly or became touchy with Hikaru—regardless of their gender. He felt threatened during times like these but had never it let out got out to his face. He hid it well with his expressionless face… he definitely cannot let Hikaru find out about his feelings. What if the boy feels disgusted with him? What if they can't even be friends after his selfishness to confess? That cannot happen and Akira will do anything to avoid it from happening. Now, this current relationship as friends is the best way and they should remain like this forever…

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CRACK

Hikaru opened his room door. It's 6.50 in the evening. Time for dinner!

Next to him, he saw Yashiro and Ochi coming out from their room and few seconds later, Honda appeared with Kurata.

All of them gather together and make their way to the lift.

"Where's Waya and Isumi?" Ochi asked.

"Ah, they said they will be a little late… it doesn't matter since we are just dining in the hotel." Kurata told them.

Hikaru appeared uneasy. Yashiro shot him a sharp look. He seemed to think that Hikaru should settle this soonest possible.

Out of the corner, Yashiro felt someone staring at him…

He turned his head behind to see Honda winking at him.

WHAT!

Did he just W-I-N-K at him? And what is with that wicked wink? Does it mean anything? No, that is just a trick… that birdbrain just BLINKed his eye. Something must have flown in his eye and he tries to blink it away which looks like a wink. Isn't it?

'Ignore him…. ignore him…. ignore him… ignore him… ignore him…' Yashiro started chanting.

TING

The lift door opened and they went in. Kurata's huge body accommodates about half the space of the lift. The others were crammed uncomfortably on the other side.

TING

All of them hurried out.

"Hahaha buffet dinner!" Kurata said joyfully. He's already drooling at the food and makes his way to the buffet line.

"You guys get a seat." He ordered them.

Without wasting any time, Akira and Hikaru walked around looking for seats enough to fit eight people.

HEH.

There it goes again… Yashiro's eyes accidentally met with Honda's and that birdbrain flash him a naughty wicked grin. Yashiro's fear is taking control of him… he would not want to take any chances in 'exploring' the meaning of the grin he just saw.

"I never notice it in the beginning… it's amazing. I can't believe it either." Honda whispered excitedly to Yashiro and left with another evil grin.

Lots of thoughts are swirling in Yashiro's head. 'No… the wink, the grin… I can ignore that but what does he mean just now! Those words they can only mean one thing! All these clues he has been giving me…' Yashiro could felt his back covered with sweat.

"Does it mean that… that he… likes me!" NOOOOOOOOOOO! He felt tormented psychologically.

"This is not right. I'll have to tell him." Yashiro spoke to himself. "Yea. I have to tell him. Must tell. Must tell…" But he seems to be shaking at the idea of talking to Honda about it. Gosh, Hikaru must be suffering like him! Now he finally understood the pressure that Hikaru is feeling!

"What is Yashiro mumbling at the back?" Hikaru asked the others.

"God knows. He's a weirdo." Ochi answered. Without another word, Yashiro left the restaurant.

Hikaru felt Honda grinning at him. Sigh… this idiot.

"Honda, will you stop that?" Hikaru said.

"Ah? Stop what?" Everyone divert their attention to Honda. His expression changed.

"Stop that grinning. It's making me uncomfortable. It makes me think that you have a crush on me every time you do that."

Akira and Ochi spilt their drink.

"Ha? Don't make fun of me, Shindo. You know well what it means…"

"I know what you are thinking but you got it wrong." Hikaru took a sip from his goblet.

"Huh? Wrong?"

Ochi and Akira stared at both of them with puzzlement.

"What is it?" Akira asked Hikaru.

"Don't ask me. I have no idea where he got that theory from."

"I heard and saw with my own eyes! You and Yashiro in the coffee hou—"

THUMP

Hikaru stood up and slammed the table with his water goblet. Water spilt on the table.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT!" Hikaru is raging with fire.

"I— I…" Honda looked down, embarrassed. He knew it wasn't right to eavesdrop on their conversation but he was too curious. He couldn't stop himself so he sat at the table beside them which had been separated by a thin divider. The divider's top reaches his shoulder but its good enough. He thought it was a great piece of news he heard… it never crossed his mind that Hikaru would be this angry.

Yashiro who just returned from the washroom panicked. What's wrong? What's with the dark atmosphere at their table?

"Oi…" Yashiro called out to Hikaru who is standing with anger. He saw Hikaru clenched his fist.

"Did it occur to you that sometimes others need privacy?" Hikaru continued, ignoring Yashiro.

Silence.

"I am sorry… I really didn't mean it…"

"Eavesdropping on us and yet you said you don't mean it. How can I believe you?"

"Sorry Shindo. I was… I was just curious." Honda is on the verge of tears. Though he might not look so, he's sensitive on the inside. With some guilt now.

"Were you there the whole time?" Hikaru asked while biting his lip. It's a sign he is trying to control his anger.

"No… I … I just heard Yashiro confess to you… that's all… and then I left…"

Hikaru let go a small sigh. Akira and Ochi had a huge shocked expression on their face. Yashiro ran over to Honda.

"You heard us?"

"I… I'm sorry! I… I didn't do it on purpose…"

Yashiro sighed. "It's not what you thought. I did not confess to Hikaru… that was actually… well, something else."

Hikaru did not answer nor look at them. He merely walked away. On his way out, he banged into Isumi and Waya who are on their way to the restaurant.

"Ah… gomen…" Hikaru apologized. He shifted his gaze uncomfortably.

"You finished?" Isumi asked, seeing Hikaru walking towards the lift.

"Ah, no. Maybe later." And he walked away.

Waya stole a peek at Hikaru. Something must have happened. Hikaru looked unhappy… and a little upset.

Back at the dining table…

"Waya, Isumi. That was slow."

"Yea… thought I'll have a short nap…" Waya said solemnly.

"Then? What's with Shindo?" Isumi asked as he took the seat that was originally Hikaru's.

"Something happened. And I'll say Honda is to be blamed." Ochi joined them with his food.

"You can consider yourself lucky for not listening further. Otherwise I can't guarantee he can pull himself together." Yashiro took a large gulp of water. That was a close shave.

"What is it?" Honda asked. "Why is he so angry about it?"

"Honda, there's something called 'privacy' although I don't know whether it exist in your dictionary or not." Yashiro said.

"What's so secrecy between the two of you? It's a relationship after all, isn't it?" Honda questioned Yashiro further.

All of them on the table looked at Yashiro.

"No! That is not what we talked about—"

"But I heard it, your confession to Hikaru—"

"It's not a confession! It's a—"

"Yashiro. I thought I could trust you but I was wrong." Waya stood up and left.

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"Eh? What happened here?" Kurata asked. He was sitting at the nearby table with two new friends whom he just made. The two guests happened to be Japanese as well and all three have been happily discussing food. He just dropped by to check things out with the kids when he saw only five of them there.

"Where's Shindo and Waya?" he asked when no one gave him a response.

"Um… they went back to their room." Akira said awkwardly. What is with everyone today?

"Have they eaten?" Kurata proceed to ask.

"I guess not…" Yashiro whispered.

"Hm… make sure they eat! It's such a waste to eat so little on a buffet dinner! I'm going to chat with my friends over there. You guys enjoy your meal and hey, don't waste any food. Eat as much as you can!" Kurata left and joined his new friends on the other table.

Eat? None of them have the appetite now.

"Yashiro. You know the situation well… tell us what happened." Isumi pleaded.

"… I am sorry. I can't." Yashiro said apologetically.

"But things have turned sour! Aren't you going to do something about it?" Honda stared at him.

"There's nothing I can do… and there isn't anything you guys can do about it."

"I'm going up." Isumi left. He needed to check on Waya. He can feel it. That boy needs him desperately.

Isumi disappeared and Akira stood up.

"I'm going back to my room." Yashiro followed him.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Waya…?"

Isumi opened the door but it was dark inside.

Isumi could make out a figure squinting on the floor, beside the bed.

"Waya…" Isumi's heart aches to see him in this condition.

"Isumi!" Waya turned and hugged him tightly. He's crying.

"What—"Isumi started but couldn't speak further. The warmth of Waya's body gave him some sort of consolation. He strokes the boy's hair with one of his hand.

"It's alright… don't worry…"

"I have lost everything!" Waya spoke between tears. "I confessed to Hikaru although I knew it's still early! I knew he treats me like a friend and nothing more but yet I… I can't help it!"

Isumi did not know how to respond. He felt a knife stabbed right through his chest. The pain is indescribable and unbearable.

"I felt so lonely! I told Yashiro about it because I trust him but he … he confessed to Hikaru! I HATE HIM! I am such a failure! I lost Hikaru and now betrayed by a person whom I regard as a friend!"

Waya's sobbing continues.

"You are not alone, Waya… you still have me here with you."

Waya looked up. This is the first time he noticed that Isumi is always by his side no matter what. Isumi. Isumi... his best friend, Isumi.

They parted. Isumi wiped away Waya's tears.

"This hand of mine will wipe away all your tears. This shoulder of mine will be yours whenever you needed them … and this (he took Waya's left hand and press it to his heart) will be yours forever."

Waya looked at him in awe. He cannot believe he's hearing these words from Isumi! This is something he wished Hikaru would say to him in reality. But… is Isumi for real?

There is no hesitation in Isumi's eyes. He knew his heart well and he's serious.

"Aha… ahahahaha… Isumi, you are good at joking…" Waya faked a laugh.

"I am serious, Waya. I really like you. Since the first day I met you…" Isumi blushed a little but no doubt his expression is serious. He looked at Waya with earnest, sincere eyes.

Waya avoided his eyes, diverting his attention elsewhere.

"Sorry, Isumi… I … I… it's just that this is too sudden and I am confused and—"

"I understand… Don't worry about it." Isumi smiled. "I just want you to know how I feel about you… and most importantly, I will wait for you…" Isumi opened the door and left.

Waya's legs became weak. He sat kneeling on the floor. He could feel his heart beating fast… what is this feeling? Isumi never made him feel this nervous before. The ISUMI he knew never made his heart race. ISUMI had never showed him such an expression and the same ISUMI who is his best friend never said those words, never made him feel so… loved and important before… Waya burst into tears. He is so lost and confused now. Why did things have to turn out this way?

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Hikaru stood beside the window. It's raining. The cool sensation of the window comforts him. Hikaru pressed his hands on the window pane. The rain feels so near yet he can neither reach nor touch it. This is the same way he felt about Akira. Every time he thought he understands Akira well or is a step closer to him, that boy pulls away and they are back at square one.

Due to Akira's resistance (which is actually shyness… he never meant to pull away from Hikaru), he decided it's best for them to be friends. He did not want to lose Akira's friendship… and that is why he never reveals his true feelings to the black hair boy.

CRACK

The room door opened.

Akira can see Hikaru standing near the window. He did not know what to do or say. Although his heart tells him to hug the boy… he can't bring himself to do it.

"Aren't you hungry? I brought you some sushi and dessert."

Without turning his head, Hikaru answered, "No thanks. I'm not hungry. "

SILENCE

"If there's anything bothering you, you can tell it to me."

"I wish I could…" Hikaru whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing… I'm fine."

No words were exchanged between them. Akira then switched on the television and stared blankly at the screen. His mind wandered off somewhere.

Finally, after a long and awkward silence, Hikaru moved to the bathroom. After taking a bath, he scrambled to his side of the bed and lied down. Akira wanted to ask, shake and share all his troubles so badly but he knew… if Hikaru refused to tell him, there's nothing he could do. Perhaps it's better to leave him alone for now.

As he lied on the bed, his mind started working. What should he do now? It's really tough to reject Waya although he knew that it is something unavoidable. Hikaru let out a small sigh. Then the projector in his mind started to playback the scene in the restaurant. How he had shouted at Honda in anger. How he had tried so hard to restrain himself from hitting Honda and how hard he tried to cool himself down. Lucky thing that Honda did not listen further to their conversation or he knew he would be out of control. He knew he'll act wild and that his body no longer takes command from his mind. Oh god, why is this happening here? Perhaps coming to China was a bad choice after all…

He tried to close his eyes and sleep after Akira turned off the lights but it proves impossible. Whenever he closes his eyes, images of Waya, Akira, Isumi, Honda and Yashiro appears in his mind like a slide show. Hikaru tossed and turned. He can't sleep and he can't stop thinking.

CLICK

The lights are on. Akira sat on the bed looking at him.

"I don't think you are going to sleep in this condition tonight."

"Of course I am. You have a problem with that?" Hikaru answered irritatingly.

"It's obvious that you have a problem that you can't solve. Why don't you spill it out and see whether I can help you figure a way out?"

"I don't need your help."

"…I know. But I don't want to see you all confused and lost. As a friend, I hope I can help you."

A friend? Hikaru bit his lip bitterly. Yea, we are just friends after all…

"I'm fine, friend." Hikaru turned to the opposite side.

"Hikaru." Why is he mad? Akira could not understand.

"Hikaru, speak to me… don't pretend to sleep." Akira shook his body and pulled his shirt. "Wake up… Shindo Hikaru." and Akira continued to shake him.

Then suddenly Hikaru sat up and pulled Akira close to him then kissed him. Everything happened so fast that Akira did not have time to react. He was dumbfounded.

Both stared into each other's eyes when they parted.

"That will quiet you down." Hikaru pulled his blanket and sleep.

Akira blushed furiously. He is still in a state of shock and ecstasy. His heart is thumping madly now like a hammer knocking on the wall. That was a real kiss! Not something he used to fantasize about and it's his first kiss too!

"Hi… Hikaru…" Akira called his name softly.

Hikaru did not answer. Is he asleep?

"Hikaru?" Akira called out again. No answer.

"Um… night. Sleep well." Akira said without knowing whether Hikaru is still awake or already dozed off.

But Akira is giddy with happiness and he felt a gush of excitement in reciting Hikaru's name. He wanted to say it again and again. Hikaru… Hikaru… Hikaru… the light of his life. The light that leads him out of the dark tunnel… Akira had never been happier in his whole life. This wonderful feeling… he could not tell where it comes from and he can't describe it in words.

Finally he turned off the lights and tried to doze off, not realizing that the silly boy next to him is blushing madly under the cover. He too, was excited and the fact that Akira did not blurt any words that showed his disgust, anger or disapprove of what he'd done makes him happier. His heart flutters and holding on to this feeling, Hikaru slowly doze off…

----------------------------------------------------------------

Akira and Hikaru woke up with a start.

DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG

The sound of doorbell woke them.

"Gosh, will someone get that?" Hikaru asked irritatingly. He didn't get enough sleep last night.

"Yea… I'll get it…" Akira mumbled in between yawn.

"O-HA-YO!" Kurata shouted in a red face.

"Ah, Kurata-san… Morning…"

"Morning you said? Look at the time!!! It's already eleven!!! Didn't I tell you all last night to wait at the lobby at ten in the morning? Both of you are an hour late! We are supposed to go Ki-In today! I thought that you might be a little late so all of us waited for both of you… 10.10, 10.15, 10.30…Yashiro came up and ring several times, he went down and told us there's no answer. So finally I went up here to get the two of you but no matter how many times I pressed the doorbell no one opens it! Touya, I thought you are a responsible person! I can't believe both of you overslept, what have you two been doing!" Kurata was certainly mad.

"I… I am very sorry, Kurata-san…" Akira had his head hung low. He couldn't sleep last night after the kiss… it was too sudden but exciting at the same time.

"Sorry, Kurata-san… it was my fault, not Touya's. I made him play Go with me till the wee hours because I can't sleep."

"Shindo, you shouldn't pull others into trouble. If you can't sleep, figure out something else next time! Now both of you hurry up and get changed. I'll get them to pack your breakfast. You'll eat them on the way." Kurata said and left.

------------------OWARI--------------------

A/N: hehe I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who reviewed and stayed with the updates. I have had a tough semester (now on holidays) and well, basically escaping reality for now… so enjoy and do voice out your feelings, thoughts and opinions regarding this fic!

Oh yeah, if there's time I would probably update a new chappie around late next month or January! Do look forward to it!