I really felt guilty over the long wait, which was why I told myself that by this week I MUST upload a chapter no matter what

I really felt guilty over the long wait, which was why I told myself that by this week I MUST upload a chapter no matter what. Even if I had to sleep at 3am and wake up for work at 7am tomorrow, it's all worth it. I owe you all this.

AmanumaTheGamemaster: I'm sure you had figured out in actual story what happened lol. This is not a shounen-ai/ yaoi manga to begin with. But then again, no one could deny the hint that was in the story.

Please continue to support Hidden Emotions because it's far from finished (as I think I did mention in the previous chapter lol). There's more even though this time I'm not putting a cliffhanger at the end of the chapter (haha). I have to thank all the fans for your wonderful reviews and undying support for this fic. Seriously, though I'm not winning the Oscar but I gotta say this: THIS FIC WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT IF NOT FOR YOUR SUPPORT. Thanx a million. Love ya all.

Now scroll down for the chapter. I'm cutting all grandmother stories this time.

CHAPTER 18

There was no sound in the van that it actually became eerie. No one spoke nor look at each other. The night before, Isumi had requested Ochi to exchange room with him—to which the latter didn't want—not till Isumi bribed him with a week's worth of lunch. As of now, Ochi is stuck with the self-confinement Waya while Isumi doubles the room with Yashiro.

Yashiro shot a glance at both and then sighed. He recalled his conversation with Isumi last night.

--FLASHBACK--

"Are you sure it's alright to do this?"

"I felt guilty when I saw him. I vowed to standby and be his punching bag when he needed one but I just couldn't keep my promise. It felt terrible to have betrayed his trust but it felt even worse to suppress my feelings. So I had to do this… though I understand it angered him and it confused him, I had to do it. Otherwise he will never know… he will never find out." Isumi shook his head sadly.

"There's no point in regretting now though."

"I don't regret what I have done. It wasn't what I planned to do—so there is no turning back now. I knew I lost control of my emotions but everytime he mentioned Shindo or cried for him, my heart craved for his attention. Why him and not me? Why Shindo? Am I invisible to him?"

"You are not invisible to him alright. I guess it just didn't occur to him."

"And so when will it occur to him? I may sound impatient saying this, but I have waited for a long time."

"Anyhow… is it alright to leave him alone now?" Yashiro asked concerned.

"I have to admit it wasn't easy for me to do this to him… but I want him to realize my existence. To notice and to think of me. At least I hope I can distract him from Shindo…"

"I see..."

"I know I'm selfish. I'm forcing myself into his mind. Forcing him to accept me… I don't want to be his friend anymore. I am tired of playing the best-friend role here."

"Did you ever think that things will take a worse turn? If he rejects you, then both of you…" Yashiro could not continue. He saw the motionless look on Isumi's eyes.

"Then I believe… at that time, nothing can be done. It's his choice after all. That's why I want to give him some time now… let him sort out his feelings."

There was a moment of pause when the soft sound of raindrops could be heard.

"Yashiro… can you tell me what Shindo said? I know you did not confess to Shindo but… why was he so mad at Honda?"

Yashiro took a bottle of mineral water and handed it to Isumi.

"… Maa, as long as you keep it from Shindo I believe I can tell you."

"You have my promise."

"It's nothing big actually… we only talked about Waya's confession. It's rather obvious that he only treats Waya as a friend. Then Shindo told me something he considered as a 'secret'…"

"Secret?"

"In his opinion… (but I knew that from the beginning, Yashiro thought)… Shindo said you have feelings for Waya."

Isumi choke on his drink.

"You mean Shindo knew about it?"

"Yea well… it was a wild guess. Maybe it was his good observation… I don't know how he came up with something like that (it was quite obvious actually) but he thought of pairing you and Waya up."

"Pairing us up?" Isumi asked in disbelieve.

"Yea… he was saying that you and Waya are actually very compatible. You can take care of Waya and succumb to his needs…"

"But… but…"

"Aaaaarh, that Shindo is such a log head sometimes. Don't mind him. He was angry at Honda because he doesn't want others to find out about it since it's between you and Waya. He was worried that Honda might have overheard what he said about pairing both of you up."

"No… I am grateful that he thought of that but… but did he reject Waya because of me?"

"… … … Isumi, don't think that Shindo is such a generous person. Try asking him to give Touya away."

"Huh?" Isumi blinked his eyes twice.

"… ahahaha, nothing… I mean, um, try asking him whether he would do the same for Touya." (A/N: If Hikaru finds out, you are dead, Yashiro)

"What?" Isumi is confused. Did he misheard of Yashiro is just not making any sense right now?

"Nothing. Just ignore what I said." Yashiro is covered in sweat. A slip of tongue can cause many bad things to happen. "I was just blabbering."

"What about Waya? He misunderstood you… aren't you going to explain?" Isumi proceeded.

"Yeah I wish I could clear this misunderstanding as well, but seems like he won't listen to me at all… so basically I can't do anything. I guess I'll just have to go with the flow." Yashiro replied, glad that Isumi changed the topic and did not take in what he accidentally let slip.

--END OF FLASHBACK--

"Ah… I don't drink tea in the morning…" Hikaru grumbled after he took a sip of the brown tea.

"Serves you right. Who asked you to be late? You are lucky that there's tea left." Ochi said.

"Sigh…"

"I'll… I'll exchange with you… if you don't mind." Akira held out his orange juice that Ochi had specially reserved for him.

Ochi gave Hikaru a deadly glare.

"Ah? Um… Thanks." Hikaru exchanged his tea for Akira's juice, ignoring an-extremely-annoyed Ochi.

Both of them blushed a little. Akira's heart did a happy flip. This might be his second kiss—well, to drink from Hikaru's cup.

SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT!

That is the sentence playing in everyone's mind. What happened between the two of them?

Yashiro and Waya eyed both of them closely. But no words were exchanged till the group reaches Ki-In.

Matches started and ended (A/N: yea, too lazy to elaborate further. Pleases forgive me. Gomenasai…). Finally it's lunch time…

"I'm not going for lunch. This morning's breakfast was filling… that sandwich was huge…" Hikaru said when the others were about to leave the Ki-In.

"I… um…"

"Touya-kun, you have to come with us. Otherwise, who's going to help us order the food?" Kurata said.

"Hai…" Akira answered quietly. He wanted to stay back with Hikaru, and perhaps when the right atmosphere is there—he could ask about last night.

The others walked out while Hikaru remained seated at the same spot he duelled the Chinese kishi few minutes ago.

"Hikaru."

Hikaru looked up. It's Waya. He ran back to the Ki-In.

"… Aren't you going for lunch?" Hikaru asked awkwardly.

"I need to know your answer." Waya said in a stiff voice. He is not letting Hikaru escape this easily.

Hikaru diverted his eyes. He's not ready to say it. He's never ready for this sort of situation. But he had to put an end to it.

"Waya, would you sit down?"

Waya sat opposite him.

Hikaru smiled. Waya's heart skipped a beat.

"Waya, do you remember the first time we met?"

"Yeah… from the moment I saw you, I knew that you will join us as insei. I can't quite understand the reason why but there's this special feeling…" Waya replied softly.

"And in the Ki-In, you were the one whom I am closest to. You introduced me to your sensei… and both you and Isumi brought me to other Ki centre to play against adults… life back then was so much fun."

"Yea…" Waya nodded solemnly. It's a reminiscence of memories.

"Waya… you are my best friend. No matter what I do, you are always there to support and encourage me. I did not know when your feelings have changed but I hope we can remain the same way we used to be."

"My feelings for you never changed… from the first moment our eyes met till today…" Waya said sadly. He felt that his voice had became smaller… and something is stuck in his throat.

"But still… I am very sorry; I can't accept your feelings."

Waya had his head hung low. He dared not look into Hikaru's eyes. Tears were brimming… it hurts. It hurts although he told himself to be prepared. But somehow—weirdly, it doesn't hurt as much as he thought it would.

"You are missing something… something very important."

"I… what?" Waya looked up in confusion when he found his voice.

"Didn't you realize who was the one who encouraged you when you were down? That one person that you run to when you were in trouble? … the only one that you could trust your problems with? The person you thought about and cared for without realizing? The ultimate person who's always by your side no matter what? … … it's not me, is it?" Hikaru spoke softy.

When Waya did not react, he continued "Perhaps deep down inside you could feel it… but you deny your true feelings because you thought you liked me. You pushed 'his' existence aside and centers your feelings for me."

Waya looked at Hikaru with wide eyes. Is it true? How come he didn't notice it?

"Does it hurt?" Hikaru asked, pointing to his chest.

"Yes…"

"Compare to losing him… I believe it doesn't hurt as much."

There were tears in Waya's eyes. He couldn't believe it… he actually can't imagine life without Isumi. Isumi always accepted him no matter who he is or whatever he does. Isumi never threw tantrum at him, never ever get mad at him no matter how absurd he got. Why does it take so long for him to realize that he, Waya can't go on if he loses Isumi?

Waya finally understood… he was attracted by Hikaru's personality and Go. But… Hikaru is not the one he wanted to be together with. Their relationship might not last long even if Hikaru agreed to go out with him—simply because the one he longed for, is not Hikaru!

Hikaru patted Waya's head and smiled in relieve. The boy finally understood his own feelings… there's no hesitation and confusion in his eyes now.

Waya wiped away his tears. He's tired of shedding tears.

"Hikaru, thank you… without you, I really don't know what to do." He smiled.

"I am glad that you have come to a verdict after going through so much!"

"Yeah! It was funny to think that I actually liked a silly guy like you!"

"What! That was mean! I'm not silly…" Hikaru pouted his lip in a childish manner and pretended to be angry.

"Hora! You are acting like a child!" Waya laughed.

"Ha? You are the childish one! All of us have to tolerate your ridiculous and unreasonable request sometimes!"

"RIDICULOUS AND UNREASONA—"

"Hoi!" Yashiro's voice stopped their bickering.

"Ne? What happened?" Honda asked. He thought that Hikaru and Waya are not on speaking terms.

"He (He) is so immature." Waya and Hikaru spoke in unison while their fingers pointed at each other.

"What did you say!" Both of them said in unison again.

"Hahahahaha!" Yashiro laughed. This is followed by Waya and Hikaru's laughter.

"What is so funny?" Kurata walked over to their table. Everyone else shook their head. The rest couldn't understand—but nevertheless—were glad that things had finally gotten back to track.

chiisai to yuujyo…

--OWARI (j/k)--

Waya: Oi, baka author, are you going to end it this way?

Yuii-chan: you can erase the 'baka'… no, it's not finished yet Waya dear. Don't you remember you have not answered Isumi yet?

Isumi: It doesn't matter as long as Waya realized his true feelings for me blush

Yuii-chan: Don't start acting lovey-dovey in front of me now…

Hikaru: What about us?

Yuii-chan: I am coming to that… Hikaru, your ever changing attitude is driving Akira crazy. But he still keeps it up and decides to confess.

Hikaru: Huh? Really? Where's my script? What am I supposed to say?

Yuii-chan: That is the tough part. You don't speak a word… you act with all your emotions and feelings. Express yourself! You must look as though you are struggling through something torturous… or like suffering from some sort of disease that you can't speak of… and put that good looking face of yours into good use! Use those watery eyes of yours—

Hikaru: This is not a stage drama. Will you quit it?

Akira: Please continue to support us. More romance in the upcoming chapter!

Yuii-chan: I haven't finished my sentence #!#& Anyway, please continue reading the rest of the chapter!

--continue--

"Argh! I hate this!! Why are we moving to Guangdong!?" Waya complaint.

"Didn't you know that we'll only be staying in Beijing for only a week?" Ochi asked.

"NO! So why are we moving?"

"That was the original plan. There's a famous Ki-In in Guangdong that is rumored to have born a few outstanding Kishi. That is why we are going there."

"How did you know?" Isumi asked while carrying his bag. There's a lot of commotion in the airport.

"I asked Kurata-san yesterday. That was what he told me."

Talking about yesterday… Waya stole a glance at Isumi. After they returned from the Ki-In, he asked Isumi to move back to their room. Isumi was surprised but took that as a positive sign. Things had returned to normal and Akira is happy that Hikaru is acting like himself again. Or perhaps the happiest of all is our dear Yashiro? No longer burdened by love consultation or surrounded by sour-faced people, Yashiro whistled as he walked. Even so, that doesn't change the fact that Hikaru and Akira are basically in a rather awkward relationship. It's just that although on several occasions Akira tried to muster the courage to bring the 'kiss' topic out, he couldn't do it. Whenever he looked at Hikaru, all the courage went down the drain. As for Waya, he's facing a similar situation. Bad timing.

DEPARTURE… FLIGHT TO GUANGDONG 1145

"Hey, that's our flight. Come on, let's get in." Kurata instructed.

Soon, the flight departed and our eight kishi is being flown to Guangdong, another city in China. Once they got down the plane, Kurata pulled all of them for lunch and then it's the usual: check-in to the hotel.

"Alright, we'll remain the same pairing. Any problem?" Kurata asked at the counter. There was no objection although Ochi doesn't appear to be happy. Even so, it's way better than sharing with Kurata. Honda on the other side—longed for a change of room—but can't bring himself to say it.

"Great. These are your keys…" Kurata gave them one each and up they go.

--

"Fuh it's a twin bed for real this time…" Waya said with a twinge of disappointment.

"Yeah." Isumi replied without hesitation.

Both settled their bags and started unpacking. There was silence.

"Uwaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" Waya shouted and jumped to Isumi's side.

"WH—what is it?"

"Cockroach!! I am afraid of them!" and he hid behind Isumi, pulling his sweater.

"Hahahahahaha" Isumi laughed without any restraint. Waya can be so timid at times!

"Isumi!"

"Alright, don't worry, I'll catch it…" Isumi smiled warmly while he reached for the newspaper.

SPLAT

Isumi flushed away the insect and thanked it secretly for relieving the tension that was building up in the room.

When Isumi walked out from the bathroom, he saw Waya stood in front of him. The boy had a serious yet soft expression.

"Isumi I … I …" He's lost for words.

"What is it?" Isumi walked towards Waya. His heart thumped loudly.

"The other day… Shindo and I—"

DING DONG DING DONG

Waya sighed. He got interrupted again. Last night when he finally plucked up the courage, Kurata rang the doorbell and reminded them to pack their bags for today's departure. And now?

"Yashiro…" Isumi opened the door.

"Yo Isumi you left this the other day." It was Isumi's travel pack Go. He left it in Yashiro's room when he exchanged room with Ochi.

"Um, thanks." Isumi took it. There was awkwardness in the atmosphere. Did he come at the wrong time (again)?

"Uh, well, think I'll head back to my room…" Yashiro quickly bade them goodbye and left.

The door closed with a thud.

"You were saying?"

"Nothing…" Waya answered gloomily. He had lost all mood and courage now.

--

There were no words exchanged between the two of them. Both unpacked their belongings quietly, not crossing each other's line.

However, the intensity of the environment puts a lot of pressure on Akira. Finally…

"Hikaru. We… we need to talk."

Hikaru turned and faced him for a moment. Then he got back to his bag.

"Hikaru…" Akira pleaded.

"There's nothing to talk about." Hikaru said without looking at Akira.

"There is… something that I need to be sure of."

Hikaru held the strap of his bag tightly. Is he going to bring it up now?

Silence… only the sound in the room is of Hikaru unpacking.

"What is it?" Hikaru asked.

"Huh?"

"What is it that you need to be sure?"

"… … I… I am very confused. I don't know what you are thinking most of the time. And most importantly, I don't know how you feel. Every time when I thought we have mutual affection, you turned cold again. I—"

DING DONG DING DONG

Akira felt his heart broke into pieces. It wasn't easy to find such good timing and courage to confess everything. Just when he's halfway to it, someone butts in.

"Yo Shindo I just went to Isumi and Waya's room… they have a wei… rd… envi… ronment." He just sensed the same 'weird' environment here in Hikaru and Akira's room. Is he in the way again?

"What did you say?" Hikaru asked. He wasn't paying attention at all.

"Ugh, um, well, nothing… it's nothing important… haha. Haha, guess I better stay in my room and lock myself in there till dinner. Sorry for interrupting. Bye." And he sped off.

Akira sighed. Is this destiny? Hikaru closed the door and continued to arrange his clothes. He did not mutter a word and Akira did not continue. Both went back to packing in silence.

DINNER TIME… they dine in the hotel.

"Hm… Kurata-san is busy attending himself at the buffet line again…" Honda sighed.

"As usual." Ochi said.

There was an odd silence as the four refused to speak. Each engaged in their own thoughts. Yashiro felt that the situation is back to zero—nothing changed.

"They actually have lobsters here… this is great!" Kurata returned with a mouthful of fried octopus. He settled down his plate and started gnawing his teeth into the lobster's white flesh. Kurata was so busy eating that he paid no attention to his juniors.

"Hey, is something wrong here?" Honda whispered to Yashiro. (Note: they sat next to each other)

"Must you ask?"

"They are behaving weird again… I thought things were fine when Shindo and Waya started talking. But this situation is far worse!"

"It's… it's just your imagination…" Yashiro pretended as though everything was merry and well.

"Can someone pass me the sauce?" Hikaru asked.

Both Waya and Akira reached for it at the same time. They looked at each other for a moment and then Akira lets go. Waya passed it to Hikaru but felt guilty about it. There was nothing to fight about except the fact that Waya's body reached for the bottle automatically and except the fact that Akira admitted defeat.

Isumi's face turned pale. Waya wanted to explain that it was out of his control—but to no vail. He couldn't seem to find his voice.

"Er… Thanks." Hikaru said awkwardly.

Dinner finally ended when Kurata finished his fifth helping of dessert.

"Okay guys tomorrow we'll have one-day tour in Guangdong, so wake up early. Wait at the lobby as usual. Night!" and Kurata disappeared behind his room. Honda followed him.

Without a word, the six remaining kishi dispersed into their room.

Hikaru threw his wallet and room key on the table. He then grabbed his towel and went to the bathroom for a bath. Akira watched as Hikaru closed the door with a soft thud. He sighed and lay on his bed, pondering why their relationship took such a bad twist.

"Aren't you taking a bath?" Hikaru asked.

Akira got up suddenly. He had no idea how long he was down on his bed. He got too absorbed in his own thoughts that he did not hear Hikaru came out from the bathroom.

"No…"

"… … …"

"Hikaru, what was the meaning of the kiss the other day?" That was it. He had said it. Something he had been dying to know. The curiosity had driven him to a corner and he no longer wanted to bear the pain or suffer in silence. Nothing good ever came out when an issue which had been bothering him were not resolved.

But Hikaru had not seen it coming. Well, he had expected his partner to ask him anytime anyday but not now. Not now when he just got out of a comfortable bath, with his garment concealed in a piece of towel.

"…What? What do you mean by 'the meaning' of it?"

"Of course there's got to be a reason for you to… to… kiss me… "

"… … … I don't know…" Hikaru avoided his eyes.

"You don't know?" There was sudden pain in his chest. Did someone just stab him with a knife… right through his chest? If so, why isn't he dying?

Hikaru rummaged through the closet and puts on a shirt. He then took the remote control and switched on the TV, pretending to be interested in a Chinese game show.

"Don't lie… don't lie to me… tell me the truth…"

No response from Hikaru. He was staring furiously at the screen, as though intensely interested in it.

"Talk to me!!" Akira shouted and grabbed the remote control from Hikaru. He switched the TV off.

"I am having a serious discussion with you! Don't pretend that you didn't hear me!!" Akira knew that isn't like him at all. Touya Akira does not shout or scream. Touya Akira is always calm regardless of the situation he is in, even if he was provoked. Touya Akira is rational and does not admit defeat easily.

Hikaru sensed that this time it's for real. He can no longer avoid this issue. Yet he couldn't find the right words to explain his action at that time, why he would act so emotionally unstable—

"I… I … I LOVE you!! Although I don't have a good impression on you the first time we met but as I… as I get to know you better and understands you better, I— I don't know when and how—but I have fallen for you! And do you know what that—"

Before he knew it, Akira's trembling lip stopped mouthing words. He couldn't continue. His beautifully curved lip was greeted by another. A burning sensation spread through Akira's body. There was no need to resist. In fact, it's only wise to accept and respond it to which Akira gladly did.

They were locked in a deep embrace and were dwelled into a passionate kiss. Akira could smell the shampoo on Hikaru's body… it was overwhelming, he was hunger for more! Such an unbelievably sweet kiss… something he had wished to happen over a thousand times and when it did now, it felt so—unreal. How nice if time stopped in its tracks and this moment lasts forever?

After a long kiss, they finally pulled apart. Both were gasping for breath and Akira had never felt this heavenly before. He looked at his partner… and realized that Hikaru's face was all flushed up and his crystal clear eyes were staring right into his.

"Me too… I… want you too…" And he held Akira's waist, and pulled him closer... "for a long time now…" he continued and the two lovebirds then shared another deep kiss…

--OWARI (for real)--

A/N: Wanna check what's upcoming in the next chapter?

--sneak preview--

Chapter 19

"SHINDO HIKARU!!"

Hikaru turn at the mention of his name. He can't believe his eyes. Is he seeing right? Is that really them?

"Hey, don't you remember us?" The short boy asked. He wore a cap and there was another person behind him—that second boy seemed a lot taller, with shoulder-length blonde hair.

"Hon Suyon! Kou Yonha!" A shocked Hikaru finally came back to his senses.

"What are you doing here?" Suyon asked in Japanese. His pronunciation had improved a lot compared to the last time they had conversed.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Hikaru replied, amazed.

--

A/N: so that's all for now, don't forget to stay tuned for the next chappy!