Sonic woke up early the next day. He moved to the edge of the bed and put his sneakers on. It was mostly dark outside, but light was making its way over the horizon. Sonic made his way outside, over to a tree he liked to sit by. He sat down, and watched the sun come up. After a while, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Knuckles sit down in the dining room. Sonic went over to the dining room table to meet him.
"G'day, mate," Knuckles greeted, as Sonic came over to meet him at the table.
"Hey Knuckles, what's happening?" Sonic asked, sitting down in a chair.
"So mate, I have to ask, how was last night?"
"And I'll have to be completely honest with you, we're talking primo box."
"Isn't this little excursion gonna just piss Sally off even further, or is that all part of the plan?" Knuckles questioned. Sonic stared back blankly at Knuckles.
"Plan, what plan?"
"You're all sorts of dumbass, mate. That damage control plan you were blatherin on about last night."
"Oh yeah, believe me this wasn't part of that plan at all. Come to think of it, there isn't much that pertains to that plan. Actually, nothing is really a part of that plan, because I was just making that damage control plan bullshit up."
"Well then, how'd you fuck missy?"
"I'm not privy to relay that information."
"Sonic got some box," Tails laughed.
"I'll give you a thousand dollars right now, if you could tell me what the fuck box is," Sonic challenged Tails.
"Isn't it made out of cardboard?"
"Not a box…what the fuck is wrong with you? Never mind, did you ever do enough research to figure out what muff was?"
"No, but I asked Auntie Sally about it," Tails replied. "She didn't look very happy when I asked. I guess it must be, like, taking a shit, or something."
"Well what did you ask her?" Sonic inquired.
"Rotor told me to ask her why she shows her muff like a two-bit whore."
"Tell me again how you got taking a shit out of that…wait, what?! You told Sally she was a two-bit, fucking whore? What the fuck Tails? Are you trying to bring the apocalypse here, asshole?" Sonic asked, and then began banging his head on the table.
"Hey Sugar," Bunnie said walking over to the table. "Are you okay?" She asked Sonic, putting a hand on his shoulder. Sonic didn't respond, so Bunnie just pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. "So, what are y'all discussing?"
"Apparently Tails told Sally she was a muff showin, two-bit whore," Knuckles explained to Bunnie.
"Well, I don't think that was a good idea, Hun. I mean, even if we didn't have the discussion we had last night. By the way," Bunnie said, turning to Sonic, "How are you doin this morning?"
"I was just fine until Captain Fucknuts decided to show up. Now all life as we know it might be in danger, and my balls are this close to the ban saw," Sonic replied, making a measurement between his index finger and thumb. "How about you?"
"I'm doin just wonderful, Sugar," Bunnie responded with a smile.
"So Sonic, what's box?"
"Tails, go fuck yourself in a box."
"I once knew ze Jack in ze box," Antoine said, sitting down at the table.
"Yeah? Well I once fucked a marry maid. What's your point?" Sonic asked.
"Did you smother her in gravy, you big dirty man?" Rotor questioned as he joined everyone at the table.
"What? No I fucked her, are you getting at something?"
"I guess not. You guys know if we have any macaroni and gravy?" Rotor inquired.
"Macaroni and gravy, what the fuck is that, mate?"
"I haven't really got time to decipher all my slang," Rotor responded with sarcasm. "Oh shit, here comes Sally. Where are we going to hide Sonic?"
"Hide me, what the fuck? I'm a grown ass man, I can sit at the table with the big boys now. Watch and learn my dimwitted friend. Tails, get out of that box," Sonic said motioning with his arm.
"So, did you have your fun, Sonic?" Sally asked, as she stood in front of him at the table.
"Hmm, I really don't know what you're talking about. But last I checked, fun isn't outlawed here," Sonic replied. "I'm sure you're working on something, though."
"You know goddamn well what I'm talking about. Having Tails ask me why I show my muff like a cheap whore, I ought to kick your ass right here."
"Feel free, but my ass is kind of sitting on this chair at the moment. Oh, and I don't tell Tails to do shit, he's so stupid I couldn't imagine him getting it right. One more thing, he said you were a two-bit whore, just wanted to get the syntax correct."
"Tails is a real drongo, mate," Knuckles added.
"Well if I'm a whore, you're a fucking gigolo," Sally argued.
"Damn straight, the gigolo with the most below," Sonic quickly responded.
"Sonic was talking about getting box," Tails put in.
"I see how it is, have Tails call me a whore, then have Bunnie crank your gear," Sally ranted.
"Crank my gear? She's sitting next to me, last time I checked," Sonic said, he then turned and looked at Bunnie. "Yeah, she's still there. It should also be noted, that my gear is currently not being cranked at this time." Sally just stood in front of the table glaring at Sonic. "This isn't uncomfortable or anything," Sonic observed. All of a sudden Sally collapsed to the ground. "Oh shit, I didn't do it," Sonic said looking around. "Tails…no Antoine…ah fuck it, I'll go get the Nazi." Sonic sped off in the direction of Dr. Quack's office.
"What do you think happened, Sugar?" Bunnie asked.
"She prolly hasn't had a good chimney sweep in a while, mate," Knuckles said laughing. Antoine, Tails, and Rotor joined in.
"I can't find anything funny about this situation, y'all are acting like assholes. What if she had a heart attack or stroke, would you be laughing then?"
"I guess so, could be she did have a stroke or heart attack, and we're laughing now," Rotor brought up. "But there is nothing quite like a joke to break tension of a particular situation." As Rotor finished talking, Sonic came back, hauling Dr. Quack with him.
"Dieses ist schlecht, someone help me carry her back to the medical office," Dr. Quack requested. Rotor and Knuckles volunteered, they then picked Sally up and followed Dr. Quack back to his office.
"He always speaks that damn German," Sonic said once Quack was out of earshot. "I'll never understand that guy."
"Of course no, he is ze fucking quack," Antoine replied.
"Hey Sonic, what's…" Tails began.
"Think very long and very hard about what you are going to ask me." Sonic paused for a few minutes. "Now, is there something you want to ask me?"
"What's a Nazi?"
"Nazi? Where do you get this shit? Is there something you do know? Stop being such a douche. Look Tails, if I have to answer another one of your stupid questions, I might just choke you to death. So why not, next time, ask your Uncle Rotor?"
"He's my uncle? How old is he?"
"Get the fuck out of here!" Sonic yelled, chasing Tails out of the room. Sonic sat back down at the table, and rested his head on it.
"I am not zinking…"
"Shhh," Sonic shushed, "A little quite time." After a few minutes, Bunnie broke the silence.
"Are you gonna go over there and check on Sally or what, Sugar?" She asked.
"No, I don't think I'd like that. I'm kinda busy here, maybe you could just come back another time," Sonic requested.
"Well I think since you were the cause of whatever problem it is, you should be there, Hun. You should do your best to be there for her."
"Best? What do you think we're in, the fuckin haberdashery business?"
"What if she dies, what then?"
"And if, if's and but's were candy and nuts…what's your fuckin point? Are you trying to guilt trip me into something? I don't know what me being there would do anyhow. Plus, Hitler will come back here and give us her status," Sonic shrugged.
"I'm not giving you a choice, Sugar, you're comin with me," Bunnie insisted. "Antoine, go get Tails and meet us over there."
"Yes ma'am, zat will be being my pleasure," Antoine said, bowing. He walked straight out the door and around the corner. "Huh huh, I zink I have been finding him," Antoine said, coming back into the room with Tails.
"You know Antoine, I don't know this knowledge first hand, but Dr. Quack says those warts on your dick aren't gonna go away, unless you start using topical cream every day," Sonic quipped.
"I have not been having ze warts on ze dick," Antoine defended.
"Topical cream?' Tails asked.
"Oh fuck it, Bunnie let's go."